Hey there! This is my first ever fanfiction on Outlaw Queen, so I hope you'll like it.
Thanks to my amazing beta Fi (isthismagical on Tumblr) for helping me sorting out the mess I had written.
Reviews and feedback are always appreciated!
Chapter One
The cold air hit her, its icy fingers clawing at her cheeks, reddening her skin and making her shiver. The door closed behind her, the doorbell ringing in the distance. Regina let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding; it swirled up in a warm, little cloud, fighting against the freezing hug of the night. She wrapped her leather jacket more firmly around her and walked down the sidewalk, away from Granny's diner. She needed to clear her mind, calm down... think. She couldn't believe it: she was back, Robin's first love, the mother of his child.
Her heart clenched painfully at the memory of a shocked Robin wrapping his son and his now-not-so-dead wife in a loving embrace. Struggling to choke back a sob, she promised herself she would not cry, not now, not ever. She was stronger than that. She had faced worse things and had always come out of them unhurt, unscathed - although back at the time her heart had been fiercely protected by a cold, hard wall of mistrust. Now she felt it bleeding, slowly and painfully falling apart piece by piece, as if someone was squeezing it hard. Never trust anyone besides yourself and your own instincts. Love is weakness, Cora's voice echoed loudly in her head. Regina seemed to have forgotten her most important lesson.
Her mouth twisted in a disgusted grimace and she shook her head, quickening her pace. The ticking of her heels sounded almost deafening in the ghastly silence that had settled over Storybrooke like a thick fog, cold and impenetrable. Dark clouds threatened overhead, but she thought better of returning home: images of red wine, a warm fireplace and tender kisses flashing through her mind.
"Tinkerbell told me it was possible I could love again."
"It was me?"
"Yes. I was just too scared to approach you."
"Maybe it's all about timing."
She inhaled sharply, remerging from her memories. It had been only hours, yet somehow already felt like a distant recollection. Regina gasped, suddenly realizing where she was. Trees stood tall and imposing in the dark night sky, their forms barely visible in the scarce light. She desperately needed a place to think and her feet had led her here, at the edge of the forest. Or had it been her mind? Or her heart? Was her entire body conspiring against her?
Resigned, she walked in, head high, scarf tight around her neck, hands in her pockets. It was colder here than at Granny's. She remembered the path she had walked the night she had first kissed him, she remembered following the soft light that shone not too far from where she stood. She had found him by the fire, blue eyes lost in bright red flames. He had been genuinely startled by her presence, like she had just burst the little bubble that cocooned him in gentle silence.
Finding their special spot this time around wasn't so easy. There was no moon and the few stars that shone weren't enough to light the forest for her. When she finally found the clearing, she was surprised to find the remains of what had been his fire, charred logs and ashes, lying on the cold, hard ground.
She blinked in surprise; a curious eerie light radiating from the charred remains, as if the ghost of Robin of Locksley was there to torment her. Or maybe it was just her mind playing tricks on her. She could sense his presence in the woods, as if Robin himself was there with her. Sighing, she headed towards what remained of the fire he had built and ignited another with a simple flick of her wrist. The warmth of the flames felt marvelous. Regina sat on the same log he had sat on just a few days before and leaned her cheek on her closed hand, staring absentmindedly into the fire.
It was curious how she had fallen for Robin: fast and hard. With Daniel it had been a slow burning thing, they had known each other for years before falling in love.
With Robin it had just... happened. Even in the Enchanted Forest a strange sort of attraction underlay every one of their bickerings and fights. But it wasn't just attraction. She couldn't deny Robin attracted her like no one ever had, but it was also so much more than that. She felt like she had known him for her entire life, like their hearts shared the same beat, like their souls came from the same place. It was because they were soulmates, she supposed: their souls were like twins, woven and bound together since birth.
There had been a time where she had dreaded his lion tattoo: it had haunted her in her dreams, it symbolized her lack of courage in choosing good instead of evil. Eventually, she came to love it: it meant all that she was experiencing was not a dream. Robin was there, in flesh and bone, with her. Now she didn't know if she should actually hate the blasted thing. The tattoo wasn't just the symbol of their undeniable and insoluble bond, it also meant that, whatever they would do or choose, they couldn't help loving each other.
This realization hit her like a dagger piercing her heart. She could jump off a cliff, turn green or start her evil ways again, but there would always be a small part in him that would continue to care for her, even if his whole body and mind despised her.
Regina knew that even if he were to choose his wife over her, she would continue to care for him, to love him, because there was no way she could stop this now that she had let her walls down, now that he had managed to make his way through the crumbling mess that she was, now that her heart had been left unguarded.
What she felt for Robin was so powerful and inexplicable she had no control over it: it was mind blowing and terrifying. She felt weak, exposed, bared before a magic so mighty she couldn't explain, she couldn't control. It elated her, it frustrated her.
A shiver run down her spine and Regina clutched at the lapels of her jacket, drawing them closer around her, protecting herself from the freezing weather.
As she shuffled her feet on the ground, she heard a sudden rustling of leaves. She swiftly turned around, conjuring a fireball in her hand. She could have sworn she had seen a glimpse of blue.
"Who's there?!" she thundered. "Show yourself!"
"You can put that out, Regina," a soft voice came from behind the trees.
"Oh, it's just you," she spoke in an acid tone as soon as she was able to see who it was. "What are you doing here?"
Blue emerged from the shadows and moved forward into the clearing, her nun robes whirling around her ankles. "I came to check on you, Emma was worried."
Regina snorted, "Oh please, spare me the pep talk and your pity."
"I'm not here to give you a pep talk, or to pity you, just to check that you are alright."
"Well, now you have you can go and tell them I'm still alive. Not that anyone would care if I wasn't."
Blue neared her. "Regina, don't talk like that. You may have been evil in the past but we all know that's over now."
Fire ignited in Regina's dark eyes, fury erupted in her heart. "What, can you see the future now, as well as fly and spread some dust around, fairy? Have you evolved or something?" she spat.
Blue suppressed a sigh. "I mean it, Regina, we all know the things you've done for us, for this town. You saved us from Zelena."
"Tell me another tale, fairy, because it isn't working. I know that if something evil were to happen again, every finger would be pointed at me - and you have always been one of those who suspected me."
The nun lowered her head, at a loss for words. "Tinkerbell wanted to come herself," she spoke in the end, after a poignant pause. "I told her it was best if she didn't."
Regina laughed, mockingly. "And I suppose you would be the right choice? Anyway, that fairy has created enough problems for me as it is."
A sigh escaped Blue's lips. "Regina, about what happened at Granny's..."
Regina held up a hand to stop her, "Don't!" she hissed, her voice betraying her emotions. "I don't want to talk about whatever you want me to, not with you or with anyone else."
The fairy opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted. "I'd be glad if you stopped this farce and quit using that patronizing motherly tone. Now leave!"
Blue stared back at her, holding her gaze. "Very well, your Majesty. As you wish," she answered coldly before turning on her heels.
Just when Regina thought she had got rid of the blasted fairy, Blue turned again in her direction. "Don't ruin your new chance at happiness, Regina. Be careful." And with those words she was gone.
Regina sat beside the flames until the cold became impossible for her to bear. After putting out the fire, she conjured up a fireball to use as a torch. She reached the main road without problems and reluctantly started making her way home. She crossed the road to the other side in order to pass in front of Granny's unnoticed. Unable to help herself, she glanced at the diner to see it there was any sign of Robin, Roland and Marian. But they must have left already.
Ignoring the painful pang in her heart, she strode purposefully towards her mansion. Once there she took the keys from one of her pockets and opened the door. A dreadful silence welcomed her home. She switched on the lights and took off her heels while walking, not bothering to put them away, abandoning them in the hallway. She avoided the kitchen and the living room, heading directly towards her bedroom.
Regina had just started removing her scarf and leather jacket when the doorbell rang.
Groaning she went downstairs only to yell, "Go away!"
"Regina, open up please!" Mary Margaret's voice came from outside.
Regina rolled her eyes and remained silent. She was making her way upstairs again when Snow banged on the door.
"Regina, it's important!" David's voice boomed.
Oh fantastic, the two idiots outside her house were just what she needed right now.
"I said: go - away!" she shouted, articulating the words.
"Regina -" David started.
"Regina, come out or I'll bang on this door until I bring it down!" came Snow's shrill response.
Growling in annoyance, she reached the door and swung it open, a dangerous expression on her face. "Just try it," she barked.
"Regina, please listen to us," Mary Margaret pleaded.
She made to close the door but David put his foot in.
"I'll cut that off," she hissed at him. "Get - off - my - porch."
"Not until you've listened to us," David affirmed.
Regina shifted her face from David's face to Snow's. She inhaled deeply before answering. If she didn't get this over with, she might never get rid of them - and at the moment she only wanted to go to bed. "Fine. What is it?"
Snow looked uneasy. "We may have a little problem."
"What kind of problem?"
"A Kristoff and Anna kind of problem."