Hold On To You

(A Gotham Fanfiction)

Chapter 1: I Was Your Friend... Still Am (Gordon's Narrative)

"How did this happen to you?" I said as I walk in the snow trying to get close to Edward Nygma. I've found out that he was the one who framed me, and I lured him out here into the woods so the bodies he disposed of could be found. Edward Nygma... My own friend is pointing a gun at me. I said as I kept my distance from him, "That you become this?"

Edward smiles as he said, "You dummy. This is who I am. I was just finally admitting the truth to myself. Well that and murdering some people"

"I don't believe that."

"You don't believe it why Jim? Cause it will make you incompetent, to know that I was right under your nose the whole time? Or you don't want to admit that there's a monster in all of us because YOU OF ALL PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT!"

... Ed, please stop. This isn't you talking. I know this isn't who you are.

"Because that's what made it so easy to frame you!" He said as he laughs.

"... I was your friend." I said.

"We're you Jim? We're you my friend? Or did you just pity me? Oh, poor weird little Ed. With his little silly wordplay and his little riddles."

Ed, they were never silly to me! I've never pitied you! This can't be him saying all this! I refuse to believe this is who he is! He's been taunted and bullied too much at the precinct. Something snapped within you, Edward. You need help. "Completely insane," I said.

"Yeah, it's probably easier for you to think that," He said, "How about, one last riddle for old times sake? A nightmare for some, for others a savior I come, my hands cold and bleak, it's the warm hearts they seek."

... Ed, do you want to kill me? I know I wasn't there for you much because of work, but... What happened to our friendship Edward? You gave me a hug when I was forced to step down from my detective rank. You wanted me to stay. I took the time to answer your riddles. I've never made fun of you once. I appreciated your help to every case I worked on. You hide me from the GCPD when I was a wanted man... Now you framed me, separated me from Leslie, and now here you are standing with a gun pointing straight at me... Ready to send me to Death's arms.

I answered him, "Death."

He gave me a thumbs up with a smile as he said, "Right again." He waved his hand at me as he said, "Goodbye, Jim."

"DROP THE GUN!" Shouted Barns, "DROP IT!"

Captain Barns and the other officers showed up. I made sure they came here in time... Even though it broke my heart to do so. "Captain Barns!" said Edward as he began to stammer and panic, "I-I-I was- I'm arresting Jim!"

"Stop it Ed!" shouted Barns, "We heard everything now drop the gun and get on your knees!"

"No this is!... This is- I've- He's-He's!"

"LAST CHANCE!"

Edward glared at me. Ed, please don't make this harder than it already is. Do you really want to kill me that badly?... If so, then I'll won't stop you. I'll stand right here as you take the shot... Well, Ed? What are you waiting for? Go on... Take the shot.

Suddenly the unexpected happen. He drops the gun and began to run while the police chased after him. He didn't get far because he tripped on a log that was covered in snow. The police caught up with him and arrested him on the spot. Harvey walked up to me as he said, "Are you okay, Jim?"

"..." I didn't want it to be him. I didn't want Ed to be like the monsters I've arrested. Why did he have to snap? I thought I-?... No, I wasn't there for him when he needed friends the most to keep him sane. To keep him from becoming this villain. "No, Harvey." I said, "I'm not alright."

...

It was already a week that Edward was sent to Arkham. While he was gone I made sure no one sold his apartment. I took care of his home, made sure everything was in their place, and always kept clean. Harvey would ask me why I'm taking care of Edward's place. I said because I feel like I owe it to Edward to at least show him that he does have a friend.

I want to start being there for him, so that once he does get out of Arkham. He'll still have a home to come back to. I want our friendship back the way it was, but this time, I'll be more present. Edward has been alone for who knows how long. And I've realized that I barely even know who Edward is.

He never talks about himself, he just mostly speaks in riddles. I do remember one time that he said that he loved video games. While taking care of his apartment I've found a huge collection of video games in his closet. He even has the old consoles like the Super Nintendo, Atari, Sega Genesis, Game Cub, Game Boy, and etc. He also does have the newest consoles like XBOX ONE, Playstation 4, and Wii U.

I'm not much of a gamer. I have enough action at work, I don't need to have it home as well. In Edward's apartment, there was a bunch of old antiques. What interested me the most was this old record player. I picked a record to listen to and what it played was Jazz.

That makes sense. Edward does look like the type to be a Jazz man. He plays great on the piano too. I've never learned how to play any instrument. Tried the guitar and just couldn't get into it. All I knew was war.

I took a look at his album book and found a small amount of pictures within the pages. Mostly him at some event or just hanging around at a place. Until I've found a college graduation picture of him. He was alone while holding his college diploma in front of him. The other students, professors, and family are in the background, but I don't see his family with him.

Could it be that Edward was an orphan? I really don't know and that's something that I should know since I still want to be his friend. I wonder who took this picture of him when he was at the graduation ceremony? I eventually found another graduation photo except this time it was during his end of high school. Once again he's alone in this photo.

It crushed my heart to see him alone in all of these photos. Did he never have one friend or family member to stand with him to take these pictures with? Exactly what did he do in his past to not deserve friendship or kindness? I'm going to figure this out, and once I do I will visit him at Arkham. I know with just the right kind of help, he'll be back to the Ed I once knew.

...

"You're going to do what now?!" said Harvey when I told him what I was going to do. I sighed as I said to him again, "I'm going to visit Ed's parents. I want to know him as much as possible, so we can rebuild our friendship."

"Jim, there's nothing left to rebuild. The Ed we knew is long gone. He killed Kristen, Dougherty, some random guy, and Pickney."

"Because we weren't there for him when he needed us most. Harvey, Edward was alone his entire life. I want to know why and how to fix that lonely emptiness he has inside his heart."

"That's what Arkham is for Jim. They fix people's minds so they can come back to society."

"Except what does Edward come back to, Harvey? If Arkham does help him get back to society who's going to welcome him home? I doubt GCPD will ever welcome him back with open arms because he killed one of our own."

"And why should you? The kid ruined your life, Jim. What makes you think he deserves your forgiveness after all the shit he put you through? You were his friend, Jim, but not anymore."

"... I'm still am."

I pick up my coat as I put it on and said, "I'm going find out every little thing about him, Harvey. Like how I should have done in the beginning."

As I left Harvey's apartment I thought about my last conversation with Ed. Till this day, it still hurts like hell.

"... I was your friend."

"We're you Jim? We're you my friend? Or did you just pity me? Oh, poor weird little Ed. With his little silly wordplay and his little riddles."

I've never pitied you, Edward. I've never thought your riddles were silly. I've always answered them as best as I could. I miss when you were here by my side solving cases with me and Harvey. But I can't believe that it's true that you've turned into this monster. That is not who you are and you know it, Edward.

You are a friend that I can't lose and I'll hold on to you. I'm not letting go the days we've shared. No matter what you say I'll bring you back, and we'll be friends again whether you like it or not. I will remember who you use to be because the real you will always be committed to my memories... I remember the day you hugged me to say goodbye.

"Ed?" I said.

"Detective Gordon," said Ed, "I hear you've been thrown out in disgrace is this true?"

"Yeah, it is."

"I'm going to write a letter to the boss."

"You do that," said Harvey.

"Which boss should I write to?" said Ed.

I smiled as I said, "Forget it, Ed. That's the break, huh? You take care."

I held out my hand to him so he could shake it. Once he did though out of nowhere he gave me a quick hug and took off without another word. I was completely caught off guard by his action.

"Maybe you should take him with you," said Harvey.

"You'd miss him if he was gone," I said with a smirk.

"No, I wouldn't." He said even though his smile gave it away that he would.

Suddenly my thoughts were broken when I've felt a hand placed on my shoulder. I turn to see that it was Harvey. He said with a heavy look, "I'm going with you."

"What? Why?" I asked.

"... I want to know what really got under this kid's skin. He's been at GCPD along with me before you came along. Maybe it's also my fault that I should have been there for him when he needed a friend the most."

I couldn't help but smirk as I said, "I told you, you would miss him if he was gone."

"Yeah yeah shut your trap before I change my mind. Now let's go."

See Edward, you do have friends who cared about you. I'll guarantee that once you're released from Arkham. You will never be alone again.