Welcome to the Guess the Author story contest. The topic this time, chosen by our previous winner Sir Sebastian, was a simple one… RUFUS. Seems SS felt the little guy wasn't getting the recognition he deserves.
The rules are simple. Read through all the stories in the contest and determine who wrote which story. Email or PM them to me, Zaratan, by the 15th of January and the one with the most correct wins. The winner will then get to pick the topic of the next Guess the Author contest. Simple huh? And now, let's meet our entrants;
Fighting Chicken
MaceEcam
NeoSaiyanAngel
Screaming Phoenix
Thomas Linquist
Whitem
Zaratan
So that's the list. Seven stories, one each by the listed authors, and you have to guess who wrote which story. Good luck to you all!
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Cheese
1A/N: Set well before So The Drama.
"Thanks for the lift, Mister Kite." said Kim Possible, riding in an elaborately airbrushed VW bus with her best friend, Ron Stoppable, and Rufus, his trusty naked mole rat.
"Don't mention it, man. If it weren't for you, I would have lost my entire harvest."
"No big, anyone could have driven away those locusts with the right equipment."
Ron was in a less conversational mood. He and Rufus were starving. It couldn't hurt to ask.
"Hey, do you have anything to eat back there? I haven't had anything to eat since breakfast," moaned Ron.
"Yeah. Hungry," added Rufus. The naked mole rat sniffed the air briefly. A smell coming from the back of the bus piqued his interest. "CHEESE!!!" He raced to the source of the of the smell and found a chunk of cheese in a paper bag. Mr. Kite heard the rustling of the paper bag.
"Hey, that cheese has been back there for, like a month. Someone that small shouldn't eat that much of that, dude." Mr. Kite's warning was too little, too late. Rufus had finished off the cheese, which was about as big as he was.
"Well, that didn't do me much good. Was it good cheese, Rufus?" Ron turned to his companion, expecting to see him preparing to sleep off the meal. Instead, he saw Rufus staggering around. "Rufus? Rufus?"
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"Rufussssssssss? RRRRuuuufffffffffuuuuuussssss?" Ron seemed to be talking in slow motion. The van seemed to be moving in slow motion. Everything was moving in slow motion. Kim and Mr. Kite seemed to melt away, as did the van itself. Rufus dove beneath where Ron was sitting just seconds before, only to find himself...underground. He thought he was in a burrow of some kind. As he crawled through the burrow, he heard some distant chattering, and a lot of it. As he continued down the tunnel, the chattering grew louder and louder. He looked backwards momentarily and saw a couple more naked mole rats behind him. They gestured to him to keep going. At the end of this tunnel, Rufus emerged into a large chamber.
Inside there must have been thousands of naked mole rats. Scattered throughout the crowds were miniature humans no bigger than he was. He found himself on a platform overlooking the crowd, who had, upon his entry, fallen silent. A spotlight shone down upon him, temporarily blinding him. As he regained his sight, Rufus looked back down upon the crowd. Mole rats and humans alike were bowing down before him. Just before he could begin to address the crowd, he felt the ground begin to shake. Large pieces of dirt began to fall from the ceiling, and he turned towards the tunnel through which he had entered the chamber, only to see a solid wall. Panicking, he jumped into the crowd, which carried him further and further from the platform he had been on just a minute ago. After about five minutes of this, he realized that he was floating not on the shoulders of mole rats and Lilliputians, but on a relatively calm pond. Seeing a rowboat nearby, he began to swim furiously towards it. As an oar dipped into the water, he grabbed the blade and was flung into the boat.
After he regained his bearings, he saw someone at the stern. This person was doing some sort of repairs or something. As this person moved back towards Rufus, the naked mole rat noticed two things; the person was Dr. Drakken and the rowboat had a motor after all. Drakken groaned as he punched the outboard motor, and yet somehow it sprung to life. The boat began to accelerate towards a nearby island, but it sputtered again, bursting into flame. Green flame, to be precise. Even though the boat looked and felt like it was metal, the flames moved towards Drakken and Rufus, consuming the boat like it was made of newspaper.
"Abandon ship! Abandon ship!" screamed Drakken, although not in Drakken's voice. The sounds that came out of Drakken's mouth sounded like Kim doing her impression of Motor Ed, for reasons that escaped Rufus. Although, truth be told, pretty much everything since Rufus had eaten the old cheese defied reason. As he attempted to make sense of it all, Drakken grabbed Rufus and jumped overboard just ahead of the flames. Drakken swam furiously towards the island, but never seemed to get any closer. Rufus squirmed out of Drakken's grasp and jumped into the water. As he started to swim towards the island, a large wave washed over both of them. For what seemed like a eternity, Rufus was tossed about by the turbulent waters. Finally, he found himself face down on a beach. He looked back over the water, and at the edge of his vision, he thought he saw Drakken shaking his fist and yelling at the sky.
"You think you're all that, God! But you're not!" Drakken's cries died away as Rufus began to explore the island. Oddly enough, it looked a bit like the island where Drakken's Caribbean lair was, only not quite as mountainous. He found a palm tree with a few coconuts on it. Feeling hungry, he darted up the tree, only to find himself face to face with a very hungry and angry-looking bird of prey. As rapidly as he had ascended the tree, Rufus scampered back down with the bird hot on his trail. He spotted a small crevice between a couple of boulders too small for the bird but just right for him. All this running and hiding had made him a bit tired, and he looked for a comfortable place to lie down. He felt around and came to a soft spot, possibly some palm fronds that had ended up in the crevice. It was a bit crunchy, but it would have to do. He dozed off for what felt like a minute or so. He awakened to hear a rumbling noise. As he shift his weight around, he noticed that the palm fronds that made up his makeshift bed felt...crunchier. He picked up a piece and licked it. To his surprise, it tasted like a tortilla chip. He got off the bed of chip fragments and found himself on a familiar cloth surface. He poked his head out to confirm that he was in fact in Ron's pocket now.
"Hey, buddy, you're awake! Great job on that last mission there! I think this calls for some snackage! Bueno Nacho sound good?" yelled Ron over his scooter.
"No...more...cheese," groaned Rufus as he slumped back into Ron's pocket.