A.N: As requested, the sequel to "Jar of Hearts". Read the A.N. at the end before you curse me. ;)
You and Me
Rachel cringed as she watched the tableau down the hallway. Oh, Noah...
Puck glanced up and down the hallway, leaning in towards an irritated-looking Quinn with a smirk. "You know you want me, Q, why fight it? You know how I feel about you, baby," he cringed as he used the word, "what's this Sam got on me? He looks like the fucking Joker with those clown lips," he said loudly. You know how I feel, goddamn it...
Quinn shoved at him, hissing an inaudible response.
"Again?" Finn walked up next to her, shaking his head. "What part of no doesn't he get?"
The part where she means it? Rachel shrugged, turning away. "That's Noah, Finn, he's nothing if not persistent." When it matters to him.
"Yeah, I know." He slid his arm around her waist and guided them towards her class. "That's the problem."
Rachel frowned up at him. We always come back to Quinn, don't we..."What does it matter, Finn? If he wants to tilt at windmills, who are we to stop him?"
"Why would you try to tilt a windmill? That's dangerous." Finn paused outside of her math class. "Isn't that dangerous?"
Sighing, she stepped through the doorway and turned. "Tilting at windmills, Finn. It's a reference to Don Quixote." Which is similarly incomprehensible to you, isn't it..."Don Quixote, Man of La Mancha? It's a book, Finn, a book, adapted into a musical, and an opera. 'The Impossible Dream'? Ringing any bells?"
"To dream the impossible dream
To fight the unbeatable foe
To bear with unbearable sorrow..."
Puck winked as he walked by, singing. "It's badass, dude, guy thinks he's a fucking knight and is trying to slay dragons for this chick. I'll slay a dragon or two if you'd hike that skirt half an inch, Berry, what'dya say?"
"The same thing I did last time, Noah, you find the dragon then we'll talk." She quickly pecked Finn on the lips and nodded to both of them. "Get to class."
"Got a dragon for you right here, babe." Puck reached down with a grin. "How 'bout you slay it and I'll windmill you?"
She rolled her eyes at him. Incorrigible. She giggled before she caught herself. Which to him means stud. "Get to class, Noah."
Finn shoved him in the shoulder. "Dude, lay off, that's not right. That's my girlfriend you're talking to."
Yeah, and? Puck shrugged and stuck his hands in his pockets. "She doesn't seem to mind, looks like she needs a little attention there, Hudson." He turned away and strolled towards his next class. You take everything for fucking granted.
Frowning, Finn glanced back at Rachel. "Rach, you're not - he isn't -"
Pursing her lips, Rachel turned away. You should already know the answer to that. "Get to class, Finn. Go."
Puck spun back towards her and caught her eye, smirking. Likes you anyway, my fucking ass. You'd do anything for him. He's a shit for not realizing that. Fun to make him think about it.
Rachel smiled back, shaking her head. You really are a better person than you give yourself credit for, Noah. She nodded to him and ducked into the classroom. And my so-called boyfriend couldn't be more oblivious...She sat at her desk, checking the answers on her homework quickly. How does Noah see so clearly what Finn is so blind to? She sighed as she peered across the hall, watching Finn watching Quinn and Sam in their Spanish class. Rachel took a bathroom pass fifteen minutes into the period. He is unbelievable. To be commenting on Noah's behavior considering his own?Noah might be a womanizer, but to be a successful one, he has to understand how we work and what we want. That's more than I can say for Finn.
"Took you long enough." Puck snagged her by the waist, making kissing noises as he leaned in towards her neck. "I knew you couldn't stay away." You smell so fucking good...
"Noah!" Rachel smacked him in the chest. "Unhand me right now, you know that's not funny." And I certainly shouldn't have butterflies either...
Puck dropped his arm, holding up his hands. "Aww, c'mon, Berry, you're hurting my feelings. I thought you were taking me up on my offer." I think we'd both enjoy the shit out of it...
"She still won't talk to you about it, will she?" Rachel sighed, peering up into his face. You only find me like this when it hurts you too much..."Noah?"
"Whatever, Berry, I thought I was gonna get another cheap thrill." He wagged his eyebrows at her as he stared deliberately at her breasts. Something to get me by...
"That's what you were waiting for me for? A cheap thrill? Honestly, Noah, I'd expect you could get that much more easily than from me." She smoothed a hand down her bag. The scrap of paper in there tells me that's not what you want at all. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." He shoved his hands in his pockets, leaning back against the wall. "I was thinking no talking, just moaning my name." And I'm not gonna think about just how much I've been thinking about that.
She looked him up and down. You're a mess. "If you give me a minute, I'll get the rest of the period off."
"If you're not gonna let me cop a feel, no point." He shrugged and pushed off the wall. "Thought I saw you get turned on when I was directing your attention to the dragon down my pants, guess I was wrong." But I wasn't wrong about how you reacted when I kissed you.
Rachel sighed, shaking her head. "You're still a good person, Noah." You should know I believe that by now. "Acting like the same superficial misogynist pig is not going to change my memory of the look in your eyes when you were singing to Quinn. It's not going to erase how quickly you tried to step up every chance you got, misguided though those attempts might have been. Nor will it negate the fact that you broke your heart to give your d- "
"Whatever, Berry, I was just looking for a little release for Puckzilla." I don't wanna talk about it. He grabbed himself again, smirking at her. "If you're not helping, I'll find someone who will."
"As you say, Noah." But I know better. She watched him retreat down the hall, taking a deep breath before returning to class. You were seeking reassurance, and you received it.
Puck rubbed a hand over his chest, exhaling as tension drained out of his body.
He looks horrible. Rachel bit her lip as Puck approached Quinn again a week later, bags under his eyes. And she won't budge...Puck slammed his fist against the lockers, stalking away as Sam approached.
Oh, Noah...coming my way? Rachel straightened and smoothed the frown from her face.
"Looking good, Berry, wanna practice the horizontal tango?" Smirking hungrily, he moved in to pin her against the lockers.
"How about you practice getting in touch with your actual feelings?" She smiled sweetly as her heart pounded. Tread lightly, Rachel...
"Mmm, if I'm gonna touch anything, it's not gonna be on me, baby." Puck leaned in closer.
"Well then you're going to be disappointed." She licked her lips, shivering as his eyes tracked her tongue. "I take it yet another fruitless conversation with Quinn?" That's the only reason you'd be here...
"Why ask questions you already know the answer to?" He shrugged and leaned into her ear, pressing his forehead against the lockers. "Nothing. Not until she contacts us." He thumped his head lightly against the metal. Fucking shit.
How can she be so cruel? "Noah -"
"Are you kidding me, Rach?" Finn stepped into her line of sight. "What is your deal?"
"Finn." Rachel ducked out from under Noah's arms. Damn it. "Noah and I were talking."
"Yeah, sure, that's exactly what that looked like." He frowned between the two of them. "Conversation's over, Puckerman." He glared into Puck's eyes.
Puck glanced at Rachel. I'm not moving unless you want me to, Berry.
Gnawing her lip slightly, she gave a small nod. You really are a good person, Noah. I wish you believed me.
Holding his hands up, Puck backed away, spinning on his heel to head down the hall. Damn it, Puckerman.
Finn watched him walk away. "Damn it, Rach, what is it with Puck? He's constantly popping up around you, like, flirting with you, and you don't even care. Didn't you break up with him?"
Yes, more's the pity. Rachel flushed as she recognized her train of thought. "Finn! Stop it. I told you, there is nothing to be worried or angry about. You know me, you trust me. It doesn't matter what anyone says or does. Right?" She cut her eyes in the direction of Quinn's locker, raising a brow.
"What do you mean by that?" Finn frowned, confused.
She hugged her books to her chest as she walked towards her class. So little insight..."Exactly what I said. This relationship only works if we trust each other. So if I have to trust you that when you're glaring at them -" She smiled at Sam and Quinn, glancing behind to see Finn following her. Good. That's something, at least. "- that it's not about Quinn in any way, but the good of the club, then you can trust that anything Noah says to me is harmless." Take that.
Finn slipped an arm around her waist. "Well, it is for the good of the club, Rach, I don't get how you think it's not."
Rachel bit back her sigh. "Of course you don't," she muttered. "Finn, I'm not having this discussion with you again." I don't think Glee is on your mind when you're glaring at Sam playing with her hair...
Finn squeezed his arm tighter around her. "I don't like it, Rach."
"There is nothing to worry about, Finn, I assure you." Not from my end, anyway. She left him at the door of her classroom.
The next week in rehearsal, Rachel pursed her lips as Finn kept staring across the room into the corner at Sam and Quinn. Will I constantly be looking over my shoulder?
"Trouble in paradise?" Puck smirked as he leaned in behind her. "Berry, I keep telling you, I can show you the time of your life. I'll make it so good, babe, I swear..." He traced a finger down the line of her neck. For you I really would...
She inhaled shakily as her breath scattered. "I'm sure you could, Noah, and while I appreciate the most generous offer, I must decline in favor of preserving my relationship." Not to mention my sanity. Such as they both are at the moment. Hanging by a thread...
"You know you want a bone from the Puckerone, Berry, you come find me when you're ready." He blew into her ear before sitting back.
Finn looked over at Rachel, frowning. "Rach? You okay?"
She nodded carefully. "I'm fine, Finn." She glanced reflexively behind her.
Puck let a small smirk twist his lips as Finn scrutinized him.
"I'm sure you are," Finn remarked, swallowing hard.
"One love, one blood
One life, you got to do what you should
One life, with each other
Sisters, brothers..."
Puck spun Rachel back towards him as they sang in rehearsal, wrapping his arms around her and lowering his face to her hair to breathe in. Beth would be her sister...
"One life but we're not the same
We get to carry each other, carry each other
One
One..."
He squeezed her tightly as the song ended, squeezing his eyes shut. I did what I thought was best, I swear...
"What the fuck is wrong with you, man?" Finn shoved Puck away from Rachel roughly, moving her behind them.
"What, is it my fucking fault you're an asshole who doesn't know how to be a decent fucking boyfriend?" Puck leaned into Finn's face.
"Oh, give me a break, dude, you know as well as I do that you're a homewrecker and proud of it! You chase after anything female with a pulse and don't give a shit what you ruin in the process. Just a big fuck-up like your old man."
"Finn!" Rachel pushed a hand between them, trying to wedge them apart. "Finn, just leave him alone!"
"No, I'm not going to leave it alone," Finn insisted, standing his ground, "because as much of an idiot as I can be, I know when he's just being a piece of shit, and it's so obvious that -"
"Finn Hudson, you watch your mouth, this is highly inappropriate and you know -"
"Oh, of course you'd take his side, you love the attention, Rachel, I'm not blind, I -"
"Oh, give me a break, Finn, if I'm enjoying the attention what does that tell you about you, huh?"
"That since I'm not a douchebag who only cares about the next thing he can stick his -"
"I miss my daughter!" Puck yelled, glaring at Finn. Oh, fuck. The words hung in the air, all eyes whipping towards him.
"I told you, Puck, no," Quinn hissed. "She doesn't want to hear from us."
Rachel caught her breath as she looked at him, pain clear on his face. And that is exactly what he didn't want to admit. She rested a hand gently on his chest. "Noah -"
"Just leave me the fuck alone." He shoved Finn away, stalking towards the door. Fuck this shit.
"Noah!" Rachel moved to follow him. Being alone is the last thing you need...
Finn grabbed her arm, shaking his head. "Let him go, Rach, he's not worth the trouble."
Rachel tugged her arm free, frowning thunderously. "How dare you, Finn Hudson, how dare you belittle him and push him away when he admits he's hurting? I thought better of you, but you've shown me how wrong I was." In so many ways...She hurried out after him. "Noah!"
"Fuck off, Berry, I don't need your pity." He kept his head down and maintained his pace away from her. Son of a bitch, why the fuck did you say that in front of everyone...
"Oh, that's garbage and you know it, will you slow down?" She huffed and power walked down the hall. Unbelievable, do you think I'm giving up because you're faster? "Noah!"
"Just leave me alone, Rachel!" He stopped in the hallway, pressing his hands against his eyes. I do better off alone, that's what the universe is trying to tell me. "Shit, haven't you realized that I just fuck everything up? Hudson's right, I am an asshole." I should just take the fucking hint already.
"No, you're not. You're just a boy trying to figure out where he fits in the world when no one understands how hard you try to be good." I know how that feels. She kept her steps quiet as she advanced.
"I don't know what the fuck you're talking about." He dropped his hands from his eyes. Haven't you talked to your boyfriend or his ex? I'm not a good guy, not even fucking close.
"Noah, are we really going to rehash this?" Rachel shook her head. You're just lost, lonely..."I know you, Noah, I understand you like no one else could, frighteningly enough." She laid a hand on his arm as she reached him. "We are two good-looking Jews, after all, it's only natural." She gave a small smirk as she sought his gaze. Sometimes I feel like it's the only thing in my life that has been natural...
He chuckled, looking down at her. The fucking balls on you, Berry..."Anyone ever tell you you're fucking nuts?"
"You, constantly, but unlike Finn, I think you like me because of it." Especially since you can relate, even if you'd never admit it. She smiled softly, stroking his arm. "Noah, are you all right? I know that's been building for a month or so."
He rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. Oh, yeah. That. "Finn's just an asshole who's constantly asking for me to give him shit."
She raised a brow. "Noah, I make you want to set yourself on fire, but you keep coming around. And I saw your note. I know I'm right. And you know I understand." What an odd pair we make...She met his gaze steadily. "Noah, I will tell you whenever and however many times you need to hear it, but you did exactly what you needed to do for Beth. She will be loved and spoiled and raised knowing she was your primary concern -you put her needs ahead of your own desires."
"I'm not -" He took a deep breath, breaking eye contact to stare at the ground. "I'm not a fuck up, not like him. I would never just abandon my flesh and blood." That's all I want to know, that she's okay, goddamn it...
"Noah..." Yet Quinn won't tell you a thing. She squeezed his elbow, moving to catch his eyes again. "You're not. You wouldn't. You didn't." She tugged until he looked at her directly. You didn't, Noah. "However else you may appear to anyone, I know, even if no one else does, the strength that it took to just let a part of you walk away."
"I know," he muttered hoarsely. And now I feel so fucking - He shook his head. "Still think Finn's a shit who deserves to have his cage rattled."
Rachel laughed, carefully moving her hand up his arm. "I appreciate the sentiment, Noah, I will admit that. But that still doesn't take away from the fact that at your core, way down deep in there -" She slid her hand over to his heart. " - you are probably the most selfless person I know."
Puck searched her gaze. Fuck, she means it. He reached a hand down to cup her cheek and coaxed her face to his, catching her lips softly.
Noah...Rachel kissed him back tentatively, heart beating erratically. What are we doing...
"Rachel?" Finn's angry voice echoed in the hall. "I knew it, I knew it!"
"You don't know shit, Hudson." Puck released her and shifted her behind him, stepping back to turn towards Finn. Fuck, of course. Because screwing your own life up isn't enough, Puckerman. "Your girlfriend is one of the fucking best people I know, you just can't see that with your head that far up your ass."
"Ex." Rachel's voice was quiet and firm. What I'm doing is taking care of myself. "Ex-girlfriend, Noah." And that means realizing my own worth. She walked down the hall confidently, stopping to look into Finn's eyes. "Noah admits something raw and painful, and you judge him and mock him. For whatever else he may be, whatever else he may have done, being on the other end of the spectrum has stayed with him. He has been through more than you can possibly imagine, and more than you could probably handle." She glanced between the two of them. Actually, I'm certain of it. "I do recall how well you coped when things were difficult with Quinn - flirting with me and leading me on. And I deserve better than to be constantly watching over my shoulder." She turned towards Noah again. "So that would be ex-girlfriend. You can continue, however. You were at the part where I'm one of the best people you know?" She smiled, gesturing towards him. At least someone can see me for who I truly am...
Puck shook his head, smirking. "I mean, come the fuck on, Hudson, how do you top that?" He looked Rachel up and down, grinning. Well, other than getting on top of that...He turned back to Finn, scoffing. "Girl has an ego the size of the Northern Hemisphere, and all she wants is for you to love her. You are a stupid son of a bitch not to value that." And that's exactly what you are.
"But -" Finn looked at Rachel blankly. "Rach, what's - what do you mean? I haven't - I'm not -"
"You're constantly watching them, Finn, whether it's reflex or not. I deserve better than that. When you kiss me, when you touch me, I want to know that it's me - short, brunette, not-a-Cheerio me - that you want. And I don't know that." Rachel sighed. That's the problem when you say you wanted to be with me when you were still with Quinn. "At least Noah has the decency to be honest about it, any girl would be stupid to think she was getting Noah Puckerman to be a monogamous boyfriend."
"I wouldn't have to look anywhere if I had you, babe. You're the full fucking package." You really fucking are. Puck looked her up and down, licking his lips. "And I'd do some damage."
She shivered, tossing her hair over her shoulder. Focus, Rachel, you just said yourself Noah isn't the serious type. "And that's what I deserve, Finn. I deserve someone who looks at me like that, thinks of me like that."
"But - But I -" Finn frowned, scratching his head. "When did - how did this -"
"If you did, I would feel it. If you did, I would know, Finn, because it's all I've been wanting as long as we've been together." Rachel wrapped her arms around herself. How sad is that..."And I've never once felt like I've had you all to myself, no matter what words you might have said." She rubbed her hands up and down her arms. Oh, Rachel. "I've never admitted that out loud," she murmured.
"Long overdue, then," Puck commented, shaking his head at Finn. Asshole. "Dude, rule number one - love the one you're with."
"I don't - Rach, I really don't know -" Finn reached a hand out tentatively.
Rachel stepped back. You don't know a lot of things..."And that sums up the entire issue, Finn. It's normal to you to watch her. It's what you're used to. You like me despite my faults - you loved her with all of them, wanted her with them, overlooked everything that was wrong between you. Me, you comment on, you chip away at. You don't mean to, I'm certain you don't think it's what you're doing, but you do. And I can't have that in my life. I can't." Every day is enough of an uphill battle without having to guard against you too. She moved away from him. "I'm sorry, Finn, but it's over."
Finn gawked at her. "Rach, I - are you - do you - " He shook his head. "Is this really what you want?"
"Until you can prove to me - unless you can make me feel like I'm the only one for you? It is, it absolutely is what I want. I ended one relationship because I knew I wasn't number one on the list -" She glanced back at Noah with a sad smile. But at least number two on his list was amazing..." - so why would I settle for anything less from you?" She turned and left Finn gaping after her.
"Nicely played, Berry," Puck remarked behind her shoulder. You're fucking unreal when you wanna cut someone down to size. "I enjoyed the show. He should be back in -"
"I don't want him to be back." She opened her locker, taking down the pictures of them. If I'm honest, I haven't for a while...
"Moving on pretty fucking fast there, babe." He raised a brow, leaning back against the wall. "You sure you want to do this?" The fuck is really going on here?
"I'm not throwing them away, I'm just putting them aside." She straightened the mirror on the door. "And yes, I'm certain." I've spent too much of our relationship watching him watching her...
"Does that mean it's open season on Berry's berries?" He raised a brow at her. "If so, sign me up." I wasn't kidding when I said I'd do some damage if I had the chance...
Rolling her eyes, she closed her locker. Leave it to Noah Puckerman to keep me from taking the loss of my high school sweetheart too seriously. "It's not open season, Noah, I'm not a hunting range."
"Maybe not, but I'd love to find some nice bush I could get comfortable in, while I stalk my prey." He grinned suggestively. "Got any?" My hand didn't get far up your thigh...
"Noah!" She blushed furiously, putting her bags down to shrug on her coat. "You are incorrigible." Oh, bad choice of words, Rachel...She shook her head, giggling.
Puck smirked. I know what you're thinking. And even if I did look it up when you left..."Studly. I'll take that as permission granted." He blew her a kiss, shoving his hands in his pockets and walking away. "Can't wait to start the hunt, Berry."
She shivered, gathering her belongings to head for the exit. He can't be serious. Rachel looked behind her to see him watching her. Can he?
I see you looking. Puck licked his lips, making a smacking kissing sound before disappearing down the hall.
He very well might be, Rachel...She bit her lip, her heart pounding, and headed out into the chill afternoon air. He very well might be...
A.N. Yes, yes, I know. There will be one more. =P The Puckleberry happy ending. No worries. :) Just a matter of time, my darlings, and I will try to make time soon!