Clarke was lying in the bed of furs, her mind of far in the clouds. The thoughts of leaving Polis tormenting her and creating an inward war inside her head. She knew deep down what was right but as she looked down at the commander of 12 clans, an invisible string was tugging at her heart. Even though Lexa was two years her senior, lying their in her arms, she had never looked so young nor so vulnerable. She looked so beautifully human, like all the worries of her people, were for once, not in the room with her. At this moment she was just Lexa from Triku. Lost in admiration, Clarke mindlessly started gently tracing the brunettes angelic features. Ghosting over her jaw and across to her lips, she wanted to memorise every inch of her.
"mmm that is very calming" the commander sighed deeply and reluctantly opened her eyes, to reveal the sky filled eyes of wanheda.
"Sorry I didn't mean to wake you" an involuntary grin toyed at the edges of her mouth. Clarke wanted nothing more than Lexa awake, looking at her. Her eyes were what Clarke always imagined the ground to be. A deep moss green with flecks of gold, representing the sun shinning through a canopy of trees. She felt as though she had always known these eyes. As if every line of fate had brought her to be able to look upon them. The colours she had been using to paint the ground all these years were staring back at her, she knew she had really made it home.
"I wasn't sleeping, I was just listening to your heart beat. It reminds me of a song, from a life far gone, of peace." Lexa moved a strand of hair from Clarke face. "Clarke I..."
The blondes finger was on her lips silencing her mid sentence. "I have to go Lexa. I need to talk to my people. A leader must always be unselfish." Clarke watched as the words cut into lexa and as if a switched had been triggered, lexa was gone, the green of her eyes turned to black and the light specks completely erased. The youthful look of peace lost and the expression of Heda was in its place. "don't be mad at me Lexa, don't shut me out. I will always come back to you" her words sounded small like a plea for her to forgive her. She never wanted to hurt her.
Lexa got out of bed and put on a cloak, jaw still set firm. "It's fine Clarke, i understand. You must do whats right for your people, its why they listen to you. you always put them first" the last word sounded like poison, like it was meant to hurt Clarke back.
"you don't have to be this defensive Lexa, ok." Clarke to got up and wrapped a rug around herself. She walked over to the window where lexa now stood. "heey" the word was quiet, soft, a truce. "I don't want to do this, i don't want to leave you but I cant stay here while they could all get killed. They could try attack your people as well.."
"our people."
"I know"
"then why don't you just let them handle it. They could see you as talking to them to be hostile, what if something were to happ..." she turned away from Clarke not wanting to think the unimaginable.
"Heda..." Clarke walked up behind lexa and wrapped her arms around her middle, kissing her back in-between her shoulder blades. "I am going to be fine. We must put an end to this fighting. I know a lot of the people don't support pike. Octavia will be with me..."
"Octavia isn't a warrior!" lexa spun around to meet Clarkes eye. She could see lexa fighting between doing what was right for her people and wanting to protect Clarke.
The blonde brought their foreheads together and wrapped her hands behind the commanders neck. "what if you send 4 of your best warriors to ride with me? Say they are an embassy to make sure your commands are being followed but really they will be there to give you peace of mind."
"not just a pretty face are you wanheda" Lexa pulled back and gave a slight nod. "i am still not happy but I accept your terms. I'll send my four best warriors as an escort for you." At this Lexa seemed to relax a little but Clarke could see that the commander was far beyond her years in moments when she sacrificed her own happiness for that of others.
with this Clarke locked their lips together, which made lexas breath stop dead in her chest. She felt the commanders strong arms around her pulling her tighter into her body. All the passion of the kisses they would miss out on, while apart, all coursing into one. Every part of Clarke burned with fire from lexas energy pulsing through her, she swore to herself, their would be no force on earth that would stop her from coming home to this feeling. She pulled back, gasping for air "may we meet again, Heda"
"Ill miss you my Clarke kom skakru" with one final brush of their lips Clarke dressed and left the room, not looking back knowing if she did she wouldn't have the strength to leave.
As she reached her door at the end of the hallway Clarke was completely distracted. When she opened the door she was caught off guard at Titus standing in her room.
"titus what are.."
"Clarke you are a distraction, you are running everything Lexa has worked so hard and so long to build. She is losing her way, all to keep you happy. One person happy."
"she is not losing her way, she is moving forward, to a better.."
"there is nothing better about this. Blood must always have blood. When you leave here, you will never return."
"are you threatening me?"
"no. You are not in danger if you return, but lexa will be."
"I refuse your offer. I am wanheda and i don't not take orders from you, nor threats. I will tell lexa of this"
"be it on your head Clarke that i warned you. dark times will come if you return. With those words Titus left the room and slammed the door.
Clarke was confused and angry and tears of frustration filled her eyes. She lifted up the chair by her bed and threw it at the wall just as octavia and Indra walked into the room.
"What the hell are you doing" Octavia rushed over to grab clarkes wrists to contain her.
"everyone expects so much from me all the time, its all about people telling me what to do or telling me to fix things" she pulled away from octavia and grabbed her things.
"a warrior Clarke cant show emotion like this, it is weakness and will be used against you. you are wanheda, you need to live up to the name, now come we need to get on the road before nightfall"
"Indras right. Come on" both warriors left as Clarke followed in suit.
They reached the market place where 4 heavy clad men awaited them with horses. As they all mounted Clarke looked around at the capitol, wondering how long it would be before she returned. Then out the corner of her eye she caught a red sash in the shadows. From under a hood she saw the eyes, she held most dear. Lexa had come to see her off. The little action filled Clarke with the strength she needed and the knowledge her head would be awaiting her when she returned. She gave one last long look at the commander as a horn sounded for the party of 7 to depart. It was time to return to skakru.