HELLO! This is a REALLY weak SasuNaru. It's really hard to explain. Basically, Shikamaru is a priest who helps the two get together without ever seeing the two.
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto...else it would be really weird.
Warnings: Some dissing of the Catholic faith (haha), some mentions of Christianity (though I'm an atheist myself so I have no views on this stuff, it just comes with the plot). Oh and weak SasuNaru.
Enjoy.
It's always been a place people can gather if they feel the need to confess. It was something Shikamaru was used to. He was a lazy priest but he enjoyed hearing about other problems, but recently he'd been having a rough time. Two men, obviously talking about the other kept visiting him. He's Christian (because everyone knows Catholics are perverts) and he's loose with the term. He supports gay's and so forth, hence why these men come to him.
The first time he dealt with one of them was on a Thursday morning, at 11am, a schoolboy with dark hair walked up towards the booth, a slightly grief stricken look on his face. 'Death Perhaps?' he thought as the teen sat down in the booth. They couldn't see each other. It was like a dense mesh that you could hear everything through.
"Hello Father" Shikamaru yawned silently before saying,
"Hello young one, what brings you to the confession stand?"
"I am gay." Shikamaru took a mental note of that. "I had a crush on a boy in my class for a year...and yesterday...I raped him" There was a long pause as Shikamaru stared at the mesh between them in shock. "but...I think he liked it." Shikamaru took note but didn't really mention it.
"What made you do this?"
"I'm not sure. One minute we were talking, the next we were on the floor, I had tied him up against a table and I sort of...did the deed." Shikamaru nodded (not like the boy could see him).
"What happened after?"
"We just sort of left. I untied him, cleaned him up and ran. And I stayed out all night and I'm here now. I'm not a religious man. I have never been to Church due to my family background, but I know that this is wrong and I needed to tell someone. If you go to the police it's fair, but the thing is he hasn't, and he knows where I live."
"Have you considered speaking to him about it? Ask him how he feels?" The boy nodded, leaving the booth without another word. Shikamaru sighed. Why did he do this job? He had just spoken to a rapist...brilliant.
Half an hour later, once Shikamaru had had lunch and was back in his booth, a blonde came running into the booth, grunting as he sat down.
"Yo Priest man."
"Hey, kid. What brings you to the box?" Shikamaru would rather deal with this laid back kid all of the time, then those stuck-up rich people who thought that touching someone homeless was a crime.
"Well...erm...You see. I'm gay, yeah?"Not another one! Shikamaru took a mental note anyway. "And I had this MASSIVE crush on a guy in my class for about...well ages. And yesterday..."Shikamaru suddenly had a bout of déjà vu. "...He raped me...but I sort of consented. I never said no, and I did...stuff back to him...I enjoyed the 'rape'." Shikamaru sighed, rolling his eyes before resting his face on the mesh as he said,
"Have you asked him why he did it? Maybe he likes you as well?"
"NO! He can't like ME! I'm the loser of the class, the class clown, and he is top class, stuck up, best looking, top grades in the school kid! I mean, he did express once he had a preference to blondes but I never took note. I thought he might have a girlfriend!" Shikamaru growled. This kid was way to open.
"Go and tell him you like him."
"EHHH? NO WAY! He'd KILL me!" Shikamaru sighed, rubbing a dark hand through his hair as he smiled.
"Just trust me...he wouldn't." The blonde on the other side nodded before running from the booth.
It was calm for a week. Just the odd confession about having broken something, lying or something Shikamaru did on a daily basis. Until around 5pm when he heard a sigh fro the booth next to him.
"Hello Father" Shikamaru recognised him. It was the rapist.
"Hey son, what is it this week?" Shikamaru gave up on trying. He was going to be himself and see if made the kid feel any better.
"I got a confession yesterday. But I panicked and ran away. I mean literally. I ran. He was just standing there as I sprinted away." Shikamaru audibly slapped himself making the raven in the booth wince. The older man wasn't happy.
"Ok. You ran way from a confession and have now come to confess about the fact you were confessed to...you moron. How much courage do you think it took a boy to confess?"
"How do you know it's a boy? I never mentioned that?"
"Trust me , I know it was a boy." Shikamaru heard the boy grumble something about being confidential before he sighed and asked,
"Well, I don't know why I ran away. It was the boy I raped. He probably liked it because he likes me. I'm not stupid, I could figure that out but I just didn't expect it. It thought he was going to ask me something like 'why' but instead I got a kiss and a confession."
"He kissed you?"
"Yeah...really well." Shikamaru blushed but heard the boy cough slightly in embarrassment so he decided to ask a random question.
"What is your favourite colour?"
"Red. Why?"
"What colour eyes?"
"Night sky blue"
"Specific"
"It's that or black"
"Fair enough." Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he waited for the boy to speak again."
"Do you have someone you love?" Shikamaru smiled and nodded.
"Yeah, I have been married for a good 20 years. I'm only 38 but our marriage is still strong. We have a daughter around 17...a handful."
"Her name?"
"Best I keep that secret now. I don't think you want to know that your classmates father knows all about your love life."
"Fair enough."
"So what do you plan to do? I'm probably the only priest who just wants you and him to get together" the raven chuckled.
"I'll tell him how I feel and see how he reacts."
"Good boy" The raven left the box, without saying goodbye. Why did no one ever feel the need to say goodbye. He didn't realise they were gone until the next person came in, which, incidentally, was a blonde boy.
"Heya"
"Hey kid."
"So I confessed to the guy...and he just ran away. It wasn't even like a backwards walk out of shock and then him tripping and running fast like in the films. He just proper legged it. I stood there like a dunce until my phone rang."
"Anything you're missing out? Like a kiss?"
"Oh yeah, we made out for about 10 minutes before I confessed. My dick sort of took over. Oops, I mean my...mini me?" Shikamaru chuckled before he said,
"I think, since they guy pinned you down and had sex with you and now he's made out with you, he obviously likes you. Just give it time, and if he says he likes or loves you, just go with your own heart."
"Thanks dude, you're awesome! I'll go home and wait...though...what if he doesn't confess?"
"...He will. I know I'm a priest... but I say use sex appeal. If he likes you enough to pin you down, he is obviously feeling lust towards your body. Use it. It's how my wife snagged me."
"Your wife used her body?"
"Oh yeah. She was the curviest girl in our class and I was a lazy nob, but she loved my anyway. Even when I knew I loved her I couldn't be bothered to do anything until she started flashing bits to me and brushing and-"
"Ok! Ok! Ok! I get the picture, she got you all horny."
"Pretty much. Just go for it. Confess but do me a favour, tell me the outcome."
"I will. What's your name?"
"Shikamaru. You?"
"Naruto."
"Well Naruto, good luck." Shikamaru heard a weak 'bye' before Naruto ran out of the booth.
The next day a very loud slam was heard as someone ran into his little box. He lived in here almost. He didn't take box abuse kindly.
"S-S-Shikamaru!" It was Naruto.
"Yeah?"
"He confessed! And oh my god! –oops-, oh who gives a shit! This was amazing! He just turned up at my flat and started to tell me his feelings and with him being the stoic bastard he was he kept a straight face until the end where he turned bright red and I almost passed out. He's such a soft nut underneath. I was just to stunned and started to grin before I pulled him into the flat and we -...well we're dating now" Ah, Shikamaru filled in the gap there.
"Well done. I hope you two are happy together"
"We should be! Thanks for the help. I don't think I'll need it. I can deal if we have fights and stuff. I've always dealt well with bastards. And he's my teme now." Naruto giggled which make Shikamaru smile.
"Bye Naruto."
"Bye Shika!" Shikamaru smiled at the nickname before he waited for the next guest. He wasn't leaving this box (not matter how warm he was getting) before that other boy arrived. And luckily that was only an hour after.
"Hello father"
"Hey kid" All pretence was now gone. He was going full our lazy on his arse.
"I confessed"
"And I went well I assume?"
"Yeah. Weird thing was...during the time I was trying to confess he kept doing all these seductive things like biting his lip and flashing those deep blue eyes at me. I forgot about his amazing arse until he turned around to pick something up...jesus!" Shikamaru was remembering the time his own blonde was going crazy and doing the same, leaning across the desk, showing off those pert breasts- "So we are now a couple"
"That's nice. What's your name?"
"Sasuke"
"I'm Shikamaru" The two boys broth grunted. Lazy and smart wasn't always the best thing to have done. Seems they were similar beings.
"Thanks for your help. I doubt I'll need to come back."
"I had a feeling. Well it was nice helping you. Better than 'I broke the toaster but blamed my daughter'. Why people have to confess to that I don't know." The two men weakly chuckled before Sasuke sighed, standing up and saying,
"Goodbye father"
"Bye Sasuke" The box was silent as he smirked. He did well.
"DAAAAAAD!" Shikamaru turned to see his daughter Ino running towards him, a sad expression in her eyes.
"What's wrong?"
"The guy I like is dating another guy! It's not fair!" Shikamaru started to grin before he laughed, watching anger build up in her daughters eyes before his wife walked in.
"What's going on? Ino, why do you look so angry? Stop laughing Shika!" Shikamaru was still grinning as Ino said,
"The boy I liked in my class is dating another guy."
"Oh, well that's sad. Have another try at love. Maybe someone better will come along." Shikamaru started to laugh again when Ino's mother said that.
"Ino, were these boys almost polar opposites?"
"Yeah, like the sun and moon sort!"
"Sasuke and Naruto?" Ino nodded, sitting down next to her dad. "Listen Ino. Those two are complicated. They are polar opposites but they work don't they. They balance out. It's like how the sun makes the moon shine by reflecting it. How do you think Sasuke would act if he didn't have Naruto? Naruto is his sun and Sasuke is what makes Naruto Shine. Just remember that when you next see them."
Ino nodded and walked off, probably going off to call one of her friends.
His work is done...time for a nap.
*And somewhere, staring up at the moon together, lay Naruto and Sasuke, hand in hand, mentally thanking the priest for helping them.*
THHHHHEEEEE EEEENNNNDDD! I hope you enjoyed this random babble. I was just bored and it sprung to mind. Review please :D xxxxx