FOUL LANGUAGE AND THOUGHTS AWAIT. YE BEEN WARNED!
p.s. I don't own Sleepy Hollow, Tim Burton or Johnny Depp, I did steal the dvd from blockbuster… does that count?
Things Ichabod should have done in Sleepy Hollow:
Nail Katrina
Kill young Masbath (I HATE THAT KID)
Nail Headless Horsman
Refrain from having flashbacks of very depressing childhood, it just kills the mood.
Become a wizard and go to Hogwarts (lots of witchcraft in movie….)
NOT go into that crazy creepy torture room from his childhood and seeing his mothers dead corpse, should have nailed Katrina instead.
Get drunk at the party he very rudely walked into, then proceed to fuck Katrina.
Have a fight with Katrina's father, that man whore.
Meet Sweeny Todd and then the two should have killed the Headless Horseman together, that would be one tight bromance!
Eat a cardinal and get over his fear of birds.
Burn Katrina's witch books then go on a mindless drunk rant around the house screaming "WHORES DON'T READ!!"
Get a buzz cut.
Join the army.
Come back from the army, resurrect young Masbath then kill him again just to show the world how badass Ichabod Crane really is.
Throw soup at Katrina's step mother and then fuck Katrina yet again.
Befriend the Headless Horseman and together they create a book club much like Oprah Winferys.
The fight scene at the end of the movie automatically goes in slow motion and Rage against the Machine Renegades of Funk blasts, killing the horseman and leading into a totally awesome victory dance off between Ichabod and Katrina.
Steal a puppy, resurect young Masbath again, give the puppy to the child and then kill them both with a microwave.
Shit on Brom Van Brunt's dead body after the Headless Horseman slices him in half.
Vomit on Willy Wonka, the steal Deep Roy and together they pummel people on the streets of NYC with nerds and wet noodles.
Do a fist bump thing with Ed Wood.
Put bandana in his hair and go around Sleepy Hallow singing the theme song to 21 Jump Street.
Become a drug dealer in NYC and make millions.