"Yeah she's super into me." Kylo said, laying back on his bed, a large smile on his face. "You should have seen us together on uncle Luke's island. Sparks were flying. And not from clashing lightsabers this time."
"Finally." Anakin's ghost said sitting beside his grandson. "You've been dragging your feet about getting a girl for far too long. Nice to see you're getting out there. She's the spunky girl with three buns in her hair right?"
"Yep." Kylo said.
"She's strong." Anakin commented, "just like all the rest of the woman in our lives. She'll fit right in. So when did you first meet her?"
"In a forest." Kylo said, remember the first time he laid eyes on her. "And she fainted then I carried her off to the star destroyer."
"Like something out of a movie. So what happened my son's island?"
"It was so intense. And romantic. She was so falling for me. I would have had her if Luke didn't have to go and force block me."
It was at that moment when Ghost Luke Skywalker had enough of this pathetic lie that he appeared in the room.
"You do realize he just touched finger tips with her." Luke said.
"What?" Anakin said, his eyebrows knit in confusion.
"Luke!" Kylo whined angrily. "Don't embarrass me in front of grandpa."
"Uncle Luke," Luke reminded him. "We may both have tried to kill each other but that's no excuse for not having manners."
"Wait wait wait," Anakin said, making a stop motion with his hands, "you've been moaning about how much you two are in love and how it was "written in the stars" or something for the last hour, and all you two did was hold hands?"
"It wasn't even holding hands." Luke said as Kylo's face flushed red, "I walked in on them, expecting to see them kissing or at least doing something interesting and instead they're just reenacting ET."
Anakin, who had thought he would soon be a great grandpa, slapped his hand to his face.
"You are so disappointing on so many levels." Anakin said, a headache beginning to form, "when I was your age, I was married and my kids were 7 years old."
"When I was your age," Luke said, shaking his head in shame, "I was raising a 7 year old emo child with anger issues because his parents gave up on dealing with him."
"Hey!"
"It's the truth, deal with it."
"Come on Luke," Anakin said, grabbing his arm, "give the man a break."
"You just like him because he idolizes you."
"Why wouldn't he?" Anakin said with a smug smile.
"Yeah tell him grandpa." Kylo said, completely idolizing the man.
"Look I just don't think it's a good idea for Rey and Kylo to be together." Luke said.
Anakin then slapped Luke across the face.
"Hey! What was that for?"
"How dare you insult my OTP," Anakin said as Luke rubbed his cheek.
"Your what?" Luke questioned, in shock from the slap and the strange phrase his father had just used.
"OTP," Kylo said, explaining, a tone of supremacy in his voice, "one true pairing."
"Of course you would know what that means..." Luke grumbled, still rubbing his cheek.
"So why do you feel the need to destroy love?" Anakin asked Luke, siding with Kylo.
"I dunno," Luke said with heavy sarcasm, "maybe because they can't get through a single conversation without trying to kill each other?"
"Minor details."
"Minor details?!"
"Kylo just needs some dating advice." Anakin said, putting his arm around Kylo's shoulder. "And I'm gonna give it to him."
"You're going to give him dating advice." Luke said each word slowly, hoping that his father would get the hint that it was a terrible idea.
"I married a freakin' queen when I was 19," Anakin said, folding his arms in pride, "obviously I did something right."
"Yeah but didn't you end up almost killing her?"
"But I didn't! I was just going through a phase."
"A phase that lasted 23 years?"
"Luke, you're not allowed to talk," Anakin said, chastising Luke a bit, "from what I understand you haven't even kissed a girl before."
"Yes I have!" Luke whined, "several times actually."
"Kissing your sister doesn't count," Anakin said, destroying Luke's argument (and a bit of his pride) "and remind me later to ground you for all of that. And don't bring it up again either. Makes people feel uncomfortable."
"Rey and Kylo together make some people uncomfortable." Luke said.
"Why?" Anakin asked.
"They might be related."
"What do you mean 'might'" Anakin said folding his arms. "Wouldn't you know?"
"Wouldn't you know that you had twins?" Luke said folding his arms in response.
Anakin raised his finger, about to argue with him but couldn't come up with anything so his hand instantly went down.
"Fair point." Anakin admitted. "But considering Han and Leia can't get through dinner without shooting at each other and you're more Mr. 'Jedi Code' than Obi Wan, I think we can safely assume the two aren't related."
"Better safe than sorry." Luke mumbled.
"Do you need a blood test?" Anakin asked, an eyebrow raised, "because you didn't need one when I told you that I was your daddy. If anything warrants a blood test it would be that bombshell."
"Please don't refer to yourself as my 'daddy'." Luke said, his cheeks flushing red, "it seems kinda...I dunno...weird."
"Weird?" Anakin scoffed, "do you know what's weird? Your son calling you 'father' all the time. Would it kill you to not be all formal all the time? Call me 'dad' or 'old man' or something for once. Call me Anakin if you want, Lukie."
"Don't call me that." Luke said, his face still flushing.
"How 'bout Skykid?"
"No."
"Blaster boy?"
"Please stop."
"Chosen one's little one."
"I don't think you get how nicknames work." Luke said, pinching the bridge of his nose, "but I guess it's better than being referred to as your 'offspring'. Not by much though. What was the deal with that anyways?"
"I have no idea." Anakin said before imitating Emperor Palpatine's voice, " 'there is no doubt that this boy is the offspring of Anakin Skywalker'. I mean... why say it like that?"
"Don't forget Obi Wan," Luke added, before speaking in an impression of Obi Wan's voice," 'if Anakin would ever have any offspring, they would be a threat'. Just say children, please. Same amount of syllables and doesn't make me feel like some unwanted animal that spawned out of nowhere."
"Are you two done with-well whatever the heck that was?" Kylo said.
"Oh yeah, bigger problems." Anakin said, his attention back on his favorite grandkid, "gotta keep the Skywalker lineage going."
"Yes because we need more powerful force users in this universe." Luke said, grumpily, "can we just...just let the Skywalker's die out? I mean yeah we've saved the universe a whole bunch but we've also kinda messed it up too. Like major league screwed it up. Like planets are space rumble screwed it up."
"Kylo don't listen to the man who's more solo than Solo." Anakin said, putting his arm around Kylo's shoulder. "We're gonna get you a girl. Specifically we're gonna get you Rey."
"What do you mean we?" Luke said, folding his arms and giving his father a look. "I'm only coming to watch this blow up bigger than Starkiller Base."
"Hey, even dark side users need love." Anakin said, shrugging.
Anakin stood up and offered his hand to Kylo.
"Come on, let's get you some kisses from your little Rey of Sunshine." Anakin said with a wink.
"Ew father, please no dad jokes" Luke said, massaging his temple with his fingers.
"Ok." Kylo said, taking Anakin hand, "but how are we going to do that. I don't even know where she is."
"Easy," Anakin said, "we'll use a force portal."
"Force portal?" Kylo questioned, "that's not a thing."
"Well all the known rules and restrictions of the force kinda went out the window recently." Anakin shrugged. "Now you can use it for pretty much anything to further the plot."
Anakin then opened up a small worm hole right in front of them.
"Sounds like laziness to me." Kylo said, folding his arms.
"Do you want to spend six months trying to track down a rebel base only to get about five seconds of face-to-face conversation with her," Anakin said, his eyebrow raised once more, "or do you want to go through the force portal."
Kylo then jumped head first into the portal. Anakin followed right behind him.
"I have a bad feeling about this." Luke said as Anakin's hand came back through the portal to grab the top of his Jedi robes and pulled him into the portal.