That One Night
Gabriel/Emma; He did it because they're so similar and she was skating like it was her second nature and he was watching in utter awe and she probably didn't notice her hair was a mess and he realized that he didn't want to run away anymore.
I. After
He caught himself staring more than he should've been, but he was always too observant for his own good and anyone who ever noticed just blamed it on that. But it wasn't. It was because she was pretty. She was undeniably, unbelievably, unfairly pretty. And he really shouldn't have thought so, because they were friends and she was supposed to (still) be in love with a guy who was like his older brother, and the more he looked, the more it was going to hurt everyone in the end. He knew that, but he couldn't look away.
[Every time he looks, he remembers that night.]
She knew he stared, but she couldn't do anything about it. She knew that he understood that looking at her all the time wouldn't do him, her, anyone any good. And whenever she looked over, he had to look down because he knew it was wrong, but he couldn't help it. She sympathized, because she wanted to look too and tell him she understood the need, and yes, it was real, that night was real. And she hated everything she noticed about herself lately, because it's his entire fault.
Gabriel didn't bother trying to talk and Emma didn't bother trying to not be disappointed. After all, it was their unspoken oath, and they couldn't break it. It was too risky.
II. Before
"You know, most people spread themselves too thin, Gabe," Olivia had told him once, about three months before it happened, "You don't spread yourself out at all. You just sit by your piano in your free time or hang out with us. You need to do something with your life!"
Gabriel shook his head and told her she was crazy. She grinned and asked him what his first clue was. Fidelio had laughed, but he'd agreed with what Olivia has said. "You have no social life, mate. Get a girlfriend or something. What ever happened to that girl you dated in fourth year? You know, the one you never introduced us to, but were pretty much always with."
Gabriel froze for a split second, not even noticeable, before he said, "Don't really know. I haven't talked to her since then."
"Well, Fido's right!" Olivia had exclaimed, "We should like… set you up with someone! You know, Gwyneth Hallows isn't too much of a pain anymore. How 'bout it?"
"How 'bout no?" He'd replied. Neither Olivia nor Fidelio noticed that he was a tad bit bitterer than he should've been.
III. Then
They broke up; Tancred and Emma did. After all, she was seventeen and he was nineteen and she was still stuck at Bloor's and he was in college a thousand miles away and everybody was pretty upset about it. After all, they'd been together five years, and that's an impressively long amount of time. Everyone thought they'd end up getting married and that Tancred would propose when Emma turned eighteen and they'd have a gorgeous wedding and a gorgeous family together.
Gabriel wasn't going to lie and say he wasn't upset about it, because he honestly was. Tancred deserved to be happy, and when it came to Emma, he was. But he also found out later that Tancred was losing her and he needed to move on, because Emma was clinging (had been for the last three and a half years or so) to a thin, thin thread that held the two together and it had fraying too fast for her to keep up and adjust.
Tancred had been home for spring break and he'd asked Emma if they could talk and Gabriel had followed them to the park (not that he'd ever admit it) and listened in, because he was curious and Tancred had sounded so upset when he heard Tancred call her.
They were both very quiet. They both knew what would happen. All Tancred got out was, "Emma. It's…"
Emma looked at him. No tears, no anger, no acceptance. Her face was blanker than a piece of printer paper not yet used. "It's not going to work, is it?"
He shook his head. She reached up, kissed his cheek, and said "Thank you."
She left, and Gabriel had no idea what the bloody hell just happened. Tancred stood there, in a strange blank misery, hands in his pockets and staring at the spot she'd been. Finally, he took out his phone, and called Lysander and said, "Emma and I broke up." Gabriel didn't have to hear the reply to know Lysander said he'd be there soon.
Emma was still his friend, and Tancred had Lysander. She probably needed a friend and Olivia was out of town that weekend on a camping trip (really? He had asked her, since when do you camp?), and Fidelio had been on some music seminar, and Charlie and Billy would, in all honesty, have no idea how to handle this. Gabriel had decided to see her.
It had been such a stupid idea.
I. After
It was time to break that stupid oath.
He got fed up with all of it. School was ending in three weeks and it'd been almost two damn months. So he walked up to (cornered) her when she was at the empty desk in the back row, since they did have first period Geography together, and he pulled out a pack of cards, like they used to do, and merely said, "Speed." They set up the game fast, like it was supposed to be, and they silently played (because the teacher didn't care) and not a word was spoken…
… Until, to signify she'd won, she whispered "Speed."
For the first time in almost two months, Emma and Gabriel made eye contact.
He smiled. She only got up and walked back to her desk near the front. Gabriel would've thought that was the end of it, until something was thrown at him on the head. It was a note.
You let me win a game of cards. It doesn't change anything.
He wrote a reply and when class was let out, he "accidently" dropped the piece of paper on her desk.
I think I love you.
Her reply in the King's Room: That's not fair.
His reply when they were leaving:
Since when is anything fair?
II. Before
He knew what she was doing and Gabriel refused to lie; he found it ridiculous. It was her fault; she ruined something that he thought could last forever, she broke his heart, she was the reason he didn't trust anyone with his heart anymore, and now she was parading around, hoping he'd come back. Gabriel wasn't going to stand for it anymore. He lived too long in the shadow of her, and how she'd practically used him and tossed him aside when she thought he wasn't good enough.
He was alone, and while she making sure she was in his eyesight, but not trying to be obvious, he watched in disgust as she sloppily kissed some guy she was dating at that moment. He also saw in his peripheral vision that when he looked away, she pushed him off. Poor fool. Doesn't know what he's getting himself into, he thought, until he did a double-take as to who it was… Oh, for the love of goodness, Damien Smerk?
She chose the guy that tormented Gabriel for years, who Fidelio really wanted to hurt because Damien was the first person to ever break Olivia's heart, the guy that everyone of his friends (and himself) hated and couldn't care less about. She chose him to make Gabriel "jealous." It was too much. Gabriel sat there, trying very hard not to laugh. Instead, he saw Charlie and Billy talking and went to talk to them. It didn't hurt him anymore. Gwyneth Hallows would not break him.
III. Then
"Hey."
She was surprised to see him, because honestly, why was he here? He should've been helping Tancred through this while she wallowed in her misery alone. But she did have to grace him with an answer.
"Hi. What brings you here?"
"Well, you know. You and Tancred. Are you alright?"
She smiles sadly. "I'll be fine. Thanks for asking though."
"Are you sure?" He seemed skeptical, "Because, you know, it you need like a shoulder to cry on, or anything, I'm here. I probably wouldn't do as well as Olivia though, but I can try… right? Right."
"Well, I'm going skating," she found herself saying, "You can come along if you like."
For a reason unknown to both of them, he does.
I. After
After the note, it wasn't any better.
It was Friday, and there were going to leave for home soon. Monday had been the day they'd exchanged notes and while previously, she'd just let him watch from afar, she now made an effort to avoid him. So, he cornered her again, this time in a secluded hallway while everyone was outside and he asked her why she hadn't said anything yet. She exploded.
"That's not fair, Gabriel! You can't say that and expect me to believe it! You don't even know me!"
He saw red for a second, and it hurt, coming from her. Because anyone else, he might understand where they were coming from, but this was Emma. And so he exploded back.
"Really? You think that I don't get that almost needing someone, not for yourself, but for them? That I don't get pushing yourself for them because you think that they honestly deserve it, even though you've lost that spark that keeps you two together? You think I've never forced myself to be with someone even though I knew it was wrong and I was just deluding myself into thinking that maybe it'd work out in the end? You think I was never stupid enough to think that I wasn't going to get hurt when the whole time, I was just hurting myself over and over?"
He was almost hyperventilating. "Because I have, Emma. You know I have. I've made those mistakes too, and you don't know yet how hard it is to trust people like that again, because even if you want to, you can't. And I wouldn't have even thought about saying it if it weren't true. So don't say I don't know you, because dammit, I know probably better than you know yourself."
They both walked away, and they were silent the whole way home. They were oh so both wrong.
II. Before
"Hello."
Gwyneth stretched out the word as she stood in front of him while they were in detention, exactly three weeks before. He was confused as hell, because since when were they on speaking terms again? He just nodded in response and he knew she was mad about that. Well, now isn't that just too bad? He thought in a cynical-poisoned kindness.
"So…" she tried again to make conversation. He had to admit, he was impressed she didn't try to practically shove her new relationship(s) in his face. "I was wondering, there's this sheet with scales that I had to give back to some first year kid, except I looked at it and there's an eighteenth note and I can't tell if it's on G or A. So I was wondering if you could help me out. I'm pretty sure it's G, but I'm not positive." She then gestured to a paper in her hand that he had no idea she had.
He got curious. "Um… sure. Let me see it."
She showed him, and she was right, it was G, but the idiot kid hadn't had enough sense to put in right on the line and put half of it in the space. There is an obvious difference between G and A, and he needed to understand that, otherwise he shouldn't be in the school.
All Gabriel's words, and he ranted on and on and on and Gwyneth sat beside him, and when he finally paused to take a breath, he turned to look at her and she kissed him. She pushed him back in his seat and leaned over him and he figured she was trying to sit on him.
"Are you trying to seduce me or something?" Was all he got out, trying to sink inside his seat, because this was mortifying.
"Is it working?" She smiled against his lips.
"Quite frankly, no," he said, finally realizing that he could push her off. And so he did. And she stood there, humiliated, and she spluttered out "What?"
Okay, so he was probably being cold and heartless, he knew that, but he remembered her exact words the day she left and suddenly, being heartless didn't sound too bad. "Maybe, Gwen, you should think about the fact that people move on. Not everyone waits around for someone who broke their heart to come around and try to smother them in detention, of all places."
"Gabriel," she muttered out, her eyes burning with anger. Not going to work out for you this time, is it?
"How about you remember something, Gwyneth. How about you remember that for almost a year, I was on your beck and call, losing my friends, trying to make you happy. How about you remember I loved you and you freaking left me in front of the school and humiliated me. And remember what you said to me. The exact words were what? Oh yeah. You said 'You're not supposed to fall in love with me. You weren't worth it anyway.' And indirectly, you told me that I gave up my friends, my piano playing, my life for no damn reason. I gave up on you, Gwyneth, and can't make me come back to you."
She stood there, gaping at him, because probably nobody's ever said no to her. It's good someone finally did. He left the room, and he didn't feel anything.
"Hey, Gabe!" Emma's eyes were bright and cheery when he saw her at the book-shop later that day, because he was delivering something for his dad. "Anything interesting happen in detention?"
"It's detention, Em. Nothing exciting ever happens there." He shook his head with a laugh.
"So, I haven't talked to Tancred for in a while," Gabriel said, "How is he?"
Emma didn't look at him, just focused on stacking the bookshelves. "He's good. He told me that he's going to visit in a couple of weeks. You know, for spring break and everything; Lysander might be coming too, if he's off at the same time."
"It must be hard for the two of them, going to different schools. They've been in the same one since Kindergarten, as far as I know," he told her. He got worried when she merely nodded her head. "Em?"
"What do you think of Tancred and me?" She blurted. He didn't know what she meant, so he just said "You guys are a good couple. Tancred's like my brother, and you're good for him. People honestly think you two are going to get married or something."
Gabriel didn't notice then, but Emma almost looked dead at the thought of it.
III. Then
She was more graceful than a swan. Ironically, she can turn into one, but that didn't matter at that moment. He was in awe. She was beautiful. She turned and twisted and jumped like a pro and she didn't even realize just how amazing she was.
When she was done (he just sat and watched. He couldn't skate if his life depended on it), they went back to his house (because it was closer to the rink), the whole time with her complaining that her hair was a complete mess, and made hot chocolate. Gabriel honestly thought she'd start crying any second, and he was prepared for it. He knew what to say and what to do. After all, there was a benefit to having three sisters. But she didn't cry. When Emma finally even brought it up, she was unnervingly calm.
"It doesn't really hurt, you know? I mean the break-up. Tancred's my first one, and we'd been together five years, but it, for whatever reason, doesn't bug me. I think it's good that we broke up, you know? It's like breathing after almost being trapped. I'd been with him too long. And it's not like I was miserable in the relationship, it's just… we were too comfortable. We lost the feeling there. So it's good, because I can sort of stop telling myself 'you're supposed to be happy' even when I'm not."
Gabriel was in shock, because he never expected that. What scared him was that he understood.
So instead, he asked why she stayed with him. Her answer? "I guess because people wanted us to stay together."
He snorted. "That's the stupidest reason I've ever heard."
She gave him a pointed glare. "You try having society breathe down your neck about everything you should and should not do and try to keep everyone happy. It's not that easy."
His eyes glazed over. "What about your own happiness?"
She could tell he spoke from experience. So she asked him. And he told her. He told her about how Gwyneth used him, tossed him around like a rag-doll, and how he'd taken it because he thought he loved her. In the end, it turns out he didn't after all. They were right beside each other now, her holding his head, when it should been the other way around. Her breathe was short and he felt it on him as he spoke.
"You stayed for her, and that's really all it is, isn't it? You give up your happiness for someone else, and they're supposed to return the favour. But they don't, and it only hurts, because you keep trying and they don't and somewhere along the line, you lose it all. I get it."
He looked up at her and suddenly, he didn't want to keep fighting it, keep pushing people out. Instead, he looked straight at her, the real her, the one society wanted, right into her eyes, and he kissed her. She was frozen for a second, and that was understandable, and he was about to pull away when she kissed him back. She held his head in her heads and the both of them were on fire. Suddenly, it wasn't something simple, not an accident. It was a chemical reaction just going and going and going. His hand grazed under her shirt ever so slightly and suddenly they understood just what they were doing and Emma pushed him away and ran.
Gabriel understood what he did, and why he did it. And he doesn't regret doing it either.
I. After
She showed up at his door in the rain, dripping under the porch roof, and she talked the second she realized it was him.
"I'm not in love with you, but I feel like it's the closest I'll get. With Tancred, I forced the spark, made something out of nothing. But, but I never felt that spark. With you, it's just… just there, and I don't have to do anything… And, and I can't do anything about it, not yet, because it still feels too… too soon. I don't really know what I want right now. But I want… I need you to know that you're going to be the first to know… when I figure it out. And I'm sorry. I shouldn't have… have been so terrible to you. I just… I needed time to figure myself out. I mean, Tancred and I had just broken up, and I was… miserable, because I tried so hard and it didn't work. And then you were there, and suddenly… it was like it didn't matter, and ever since… I haven't been thinking obsessively of Tancred. I always thought of you. And before, I just never thought of anyone… And no one's ever been on my mind so much, ever. And it's just… you kind of… no, totally took me by surprise and I'm not even sure where I stand with… with anything. And every time I suck up something, or tell someone I'm alright, or do something we talked about, I hate myself. I just… I need to get you off my mind. I need to be alone, with just myself, at least for a while. Until I'm sure of what I want."
She stopped, finally letting it out. He stepped out the door and hugged her to him and whispered "You'll figure it out eventually. And I'll be waiting for it."
Gabriel was sure now. There wasn't a "what if," no "maybe," nothing to be unsure of when it came to Emma.
He loved her. She didn't break his heart, she just hurt it. And he hadn't lied when he said he'd be waiting.
And now a year's passed and everyone's everywhere and they all keep in touch and at least once a month, everyone makes a drive, whether it's an hour drive they have to make, or a four hour one, to come see each other. Everyone is happy, and there's no drama or anything, just a bunch of college kids hanging out and seeing old friends.
Gabriel makes sure he always talks, at least a little bit, to Emma. She always responds, and they have long conversations that go late into the night, like friends should, because in the end, they always were. He never brings up that he loves her and she never mentions that she still isn't sure what she wants and he mentions Tancred in a passing note (Oh yeah, he's got a girlfriend now. She's pretty cool. He seems happy. Not so heartbroken anymore) and she tells him about how her Art teachers at the university in the next town over are idiots (All they talk about is keeping your art neat. What the hell? Art is supposed to be messy. After all, Art is everyday feelings, and everyday feelings are messy). They mention a date they've had every now and again. Every guy she dates ends up being a loser. Any girl he dates ends up looking like her in some way.
And then one of those weekends, he's there early (he rushed to make that three hour drive because they said he needed to be here by three, not six) and so he's walking around the city because really, why not? It's not like he's got anything better to do. June, Mai, and April are all at school, his parents aren't home at the time, and nobody's here yet. So he goes and he's about to walk past the bookshop when he sees her.
She isn't looking at him, but that's good. He stands there in shock, and he doesn't know what to do, because her hair's messy and she has on a jacket (albeit a thin one) at the middle of May, so he knows she's been skating, and she looks a little more free than he's seen her in a long time, and it's like that night all over again. He knows that he is so screwed if he stays, so he turns around and is about to walk away and forget that moment ever happened (yeah, because that'll be easy) when he stops.
"Gabriel."
It's quieter than her voice usually is, but it's louder than a plane taking off in the silence of the deserted place and it takes him a second to realize that she's right behind him.
Oh, damn.
"Gabriel," she speaks a little louder this time and he turns and she has the brightest smile on her face. He thinks she's going to tell him she finally found someone who isn't an idiot.
Instead, she wraps her arms around his neck and she kisses him.
He's so caught up in that little fact that he just stands there, not knowing how to respond, and later he's going to laugh at the irony because last time, it was the other way around. Except Emma kissed back eventually. So he gently puts his hand on the small of her back, not knowing if this was real, and finally kisses back and let's out every emotion he hasn't dared bring up for a year in fear of pushing her farther than she can be at that moment.
When they break apart, she lays her head on his chest, her arms still around his neck. He wraps her into a hug and she say "I finally figured it out."
"Took you long enough," He says.
"It took a while to tell you."
"You decided a while ago?"
"Almost a whole bloody year."
"Tancred won't be too happy."
"Honestly, who cares anymore?"
He kisses her again because he doesn't care about how long she's made him wait, how much it hurt when they stopped acknowledging each other's existence, how he felt when she ran that night. Because it's all okay now. He just focuses on the fact that he loves her and maybe it'll finally work out in their favour and that she's here.
It's been years and years and years and they lay together in each other's arm as their daughter sleeps in the next room, preparing to go to university the next day, and all they think about is that they're grateful for that one night.
A/N: Project PULL. I'll probably edit this later. Disclaimer is that Charlie Bone's not mine. Word count: 4, 225, if I'm correct. Posted just before midnight. And my birthday's tomorrow. :) Review?
- May :)