Welcome to Mugen Mental Institution

Summary: Where dreams come true. Let's take a look inside this senshi-filled mental hospital. One-shot. Crackfic. M for suggestive themes.

A/N: I've decided to make it a one-shot as I was unhappy with my previous post. Also, I DO NOT mean to offend anyone.

"…" speaking

'…' thoughts

Disclaimer: I do not own Sailor Moon

Enjoy~

Haruka stretched her body as she sat up on the bed. She ran a hand through her tousled, sandy-blond hair. This was her first morning at Mugen Mental Institution. She scowled as she remembered why she was here at all. However, as a form next to her began to stir, her features softened. Her emerald eyes fell upon teal-coloured hair, sprawled across the pillow.

The blonde smirked as she remembered last night. Even if it was her first day here, she somehow managed to become friends with one of the wardens already… who sneaked into her room to pounce on her in the night. Not that Haruka minded. The moment their eyes locked earlier in the day, love –or lust, whatever- was instant.

"Haruka…?" a soft voice called from under the covers. A tired face emerged from the blanket. "God, what time is it…" she mumbled.

"It's just past nine, Michiru." The taller woman replied.

"What?! My shift started over an hour ago!" Michiru shot out of the bed, a mixture of jumping, crawling and ungraceful yet sexy rolling. As she pulled on her uniform, Haruka kept a watchful eye on her, finding the sight of a bouncing, naked Michiru fascinating.

Not a minute later, Michiru was sneaking out of the door again, promising to meet Haruka after breakfast.

There was a bit of commotion going on at the canteen when Haruka entered. A blonde girl was on the floor, throwing a fit. A nurse tried to calm her, "Usagi, calm down! You have had more than enough food."

Haruka blinked. Ignoring the rest of the conversation, she took a tray of food and sat down at an empty table. Just after she had a few bites, a younger girl plopped down in the chair opposite her.

"Hi! My name is Hotaru. What's yours?" the girl said cheerfully, extending a hand.

Haruka usually wasn't much for social interaction, 'This girl seems nice enough though. Besides, I should make some friends while I'm stuck here.' she thought. Taking the smaller hand in hers, she flashed Hotaru a smile. "I'm Haruka. Nice to meet you."

"Who gives a fuck?" Hotaru's face suddenly darkened and she pulled her hand back quickly. She briefly studied her hand as if looking for bacteria. Then, after giving the shocked blonde a dirty look, she upped and left.

"Uhm, alright then…" the tall woman said slowly.

Making her way over to the garden, she was roughly pushed aside as a blue-haired girl ran past her. "Step aside for the motherfucking Einstein!" was screamed by the shorter girl who ran down the hallway.

Haruka frowned. 'Well, that wasn't very nice. I guess I should get used to it though…' Upon entering the garden, she looked around for the cute warden she met only yesterday. Having spotted her by one of the many trees, she walked towards her, a playful smile on her handsome features.

"Hello Haruka, " Michiru greeted pleasantly. "how are you? I hope breakfast went okay."

"I'm alright. Just a tiny bit overwhelmed, I guess."

"I understand. It is a lot to take in."

"So how are you?"

Michiru let out a giggle. "A bit sore, but otherwise great. Thank you for asking."

Haruka grinned, a knowing look in her eyes. "You could use a massage, I bet."

Just as Michiru lost all self-control, Haruka hit the ground with a grunt. However, whoever was on top of her, was not Michiru. Haruka opened her eyes to find a girl with long blond hair tied up in a red bow. The girl was swiftly yanked up by the teal-haired warden. "Minako!" she scolded her. "I told you to stop harassing other patients."

"I'm so sorry, Warden Kaioh, but I just couldn't help myself! Please let me hump her leg-"

"I am warning you, Minako. Stop it, or I'm going to have to put you in solitary."

"I'll be good!" As Michiru let the girl's shirt go, Minako ran away, cackling.

"That girl…" The warden shook her head, watching the girl take off. She turned to the blonde sitting on the ground. "Are you alright, Haruka? Do you need to visit the infirmary?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." As the tomboy tried to stand up, her aching right arm prevented her from doing so. She hissed as she clutched her arm. "Or, we could just go to the nurse's…" she finished with a sheepish grin.

"So, do you know the nurse well?" the blonde inquired as the two walked to the infirmary.

"Yes, Setsuna and I have known each other for quite a long time. Though, it is as if she has been behaving in a different way since Pluto was declared-"

"Ah, welcome to my domain!" A woman in a doctor's coat greeted them. "Michiru, I see you have brought fresh meat?"

Michiru, oblivious to her friend's maniacal smile, simply replied, "Hai! This is Haruka. She hurt her arm in a fall."

"I shall have a look then!" Setsuna stated. As she bend over to inspect her arm, her coat fell slightly to the side, exposing many injections of various kinds and different sets of scalpels on the inside of it. 'N-no way… the nurse is insane.' Haruka just gulped, eyeing the skeleton in the far corner of the room and hoping she wouldn't end up like them.

The boyish blonde was still a bit dazed as she left the office with Michiru, her arm properly bandaged up. "I can't help but feel like I narrowly evaded death…" Haruka mumbled under her breath.

"What was that?" Michiru asked.

"Oh, nothing!" Nervously, Haruka laughed.

They took a seat in the main room of the hospital. As Haruka told the other about her day and her encounters with the other patients, Michiru listened intently to her, letting out an amused giggle every now and then.

"So, are there any other people I should watch out for...?" the taller of the two asked.

"Hmm, I think you've met nearly everyone. There's Makoto though. She instantly gets attached to every male person here, claiming they look like her old sempai." Michiru told her.

"Oh… great." Haruka responded, knowing she could very well be mistaken for a guy.

"It's okay, Haruka. Don't pout." The graceful beauty teased her.

The tomboy glared at her, before actually pouting.

"Ara, well, if you're sad then we should do something about that…" Smiling mysteriously, Michiru took the blonde's hand, leading her to the nearest janitor's closet.

End.

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