Promise
{Love is not an emotion. Love is a promise}
Looking at Lucy's carefree face as we ran through Magnolia's streets, made me grin. The streets were filled with small shops that were flooded with colors. Jewels sparkled in the early morning light as we sprinted by. People yelled at us to watch it, but we just laughed and ignored them, having too much fun for our own good. The birds twittered in the spring blossoms creating a beautiful melody that flowed through the sweet smelling air. I dragged her up the cobbled stone street that started to slope up as we neared our destination. Lucy's fingers were laced tightly in mine, her soft skin embracing my hand. Her beautiful laugh filling my ears as we traveled further up the street.
Early this morning, I had barged through her window like I usually do causing her to scream and give me her signature Lucy Kick. Fully expecting this though, I just laughed it off, took her by the hand, and pulled her out of the house. At first, she just yelled at me to let her go, but soon her shrieks of protest turned into shouts of delight.
Now finally approaching Fairy Tail, I slammed through the doors. Everyone greeted us with their usual smiles and I grinned back.
Lucy contentedly sighed. "Home." Came a barely audible whisper coming from her mouth, that only I could make out.
I smiled at that. "It is home, isn't it?" I asked her.
She looked up at me sheepishly, probably thinking that I hadn't heard her. Then she smiled that million dollar smile and squeezed my hand.
"Yeah. The guild, our friends, Magnolia, and...you. You're home."
She looked like she was glowing, her eyes bright, her smile shining.
"Thanks, Luce!" I said, the warm feeling in my heart never leaving for the rest of the day.
I ran. I ran as fast as my legs could possibly take me.
"LUCY!" I yelled as I barreled down the hill.
There she was. Falling from the sky like a shooting star in the dark swirling void of a night sky. Her face was calm as she plummeted almost peacefully down to ground that would break her. She looked like a fallen angel, her blond hair swirling around her delicate face and her beautiful, big eyes closed.
Everything around me wasn't important. All that mattered was Lucy. Lucy, the girl who befriended spirits. Lucy, the girl who gave it her all. Lucy, the girl who wore her heart on her sleeve. Lucy, the girl I had brought to Fairy Tail. Lucy, the girl who I was not going to lose to gravity.
My legs carried me farther than I thought possible. My heart was threatening to burst right out of my chest. I was not going to lose her.
Screaming her name as I caught her, us flying through the air with her landing right on top of me.
I didn't care how much my body hurt as I lay there. Lucy was safe. Luce was safe.
I looked up at her soft smile and the tears that glossed over her eyes. " Natsu…thank you." she whispered.
I grinned right back up at her. " No problem, luce!" I said, nonchalantly.
The next thing she did gave me chills. She tackled me in the biggest hug she had ever given me. Her face was hidden, buried in my chest. We just lay there. Our breathing in sink and our arms tightly wrapped around the other.
Lucy sure was right. If this was anything it was home.
Lucy banged her fists into my chest. Rivers of tears were streaming down her face, making her eyes red and puffy. She was screaming, but could make out what she was saying through all the tears.
"Lucy! Just calm down! I can't understand you." I yelled at her. Her distraught face was like a punch to the gut. It hurt. It hurt a lot.
Lucy glared at me, her eyes livid. "Y-you...how dare you go on that mission alone." She stuttered. "Do you know how worried I was… that mission was so dangerous… you could have died!"
I couldn't stand to see her crying anymore and to know that I was the reason for those tears made it even worse. " Hey… it's alright, I'm okay. I'm right here and I'm perfectly fine."
She looked up at me through her thick lashes and suddenly jumped into to my arms in a fierce hug.
"I was so worried, Natsu… don't ever leave me again. I don't think I could handle it." She whispered into my shirt, her voice muffled by the fabric.
"Don't worry, I couldn't leave home for very long anyway." I said as I held her small frame tightly. "It's always better when we're together, right?"
She froze for a few seconds, but then she clung onto me tighter.
"Natsu, I-I think I love you." she mumbled out.
Now it was my turn to freeze. My brain slowed and it seemed like the whole world was moving around me, but all I could do was stay as still as I could. What was going on?! Luce… loved me? How could she possibly love me? That destructive, ignorant guy who liked to fight anyone and anything that provoked him. No, I must have heard wrong. This couldn't be happening. She couldn't love me. Lucy was that sweet, smart little girl who looked like a creampuff, but could actually kick your ass. That girl who was always working on her novel or going on missions with Team Natsu. That girl who would take care of me if I had gotten injured in another fight and bandaged me up, then scold me for being the "stupid idiot I was". That girl who would yell at me to get out of her house, but never mean it. I would always stay, sometimes I even sleep in her bed(which I would get yelled at for in the morning). That girl who had said " It's more fun when we're together". I wasn't what she wanted. What she needed. She wanted a prince who would sweep her off her feet. She wanted a proper gentleman, someone who was just as sophisticated as herself. If we were to have that relationship...it could ruin everything. What if something went wrong? What if I hurt her. I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I hurt Lucy. She's my partner, my teammate, my best friend. I couldn't love her, even if I wanted to.
"Lucy…" I said, but before I could finish she cut me off.
"I know, it's okay, Natsu. You don't have to love me back… I understand." She said as fresh tears started to soak my shirt.
I sighed in relief. "Luce… just promise you won't ever leave me." I said into her golden locks.
"Promise."
Everything was red. Sure, I guess I could see everything, but it was all tinted a nasty blood red shade. My guildmates were all surrounding me, injured to the point that some of them couldn't even walk. They all had scratches and cuts all up their bodies and wore the same owlish, terrified expression. This was expected, I mean, we were fighting Zeref. What was strange was that they were all looking at me.
Their horrified gaze was enough to tell me something was off, but when my legs started walking all on their own I knew that something was definitely, very wrong.
I walked over swiftly towards a certain direction. Everyone immediately got out of my way, clearing a path to wherever my body wanted to go. I couldn't make my body do what I wanted it to. It was like I was no longer in control of my nervous system or brain. I couldn't feel the ground underneath my feet or the scaled scarf around my neck.
My tratorius body kept trudging forward, going faster now that it was close to its destination. Then, we stopped.
There she was. Blonde hair splayed around her delicate face, brown eyes closed almost as if she was sleeping. She was breathing heavily, panting as her injures kept on bleeding on to the cold, hard ground. Her keys lay in her limp hand, unused. Anyone who had been caring for her had run off, cowardice overpowering their will to protect their friends. She was helpless and I couldn't do anything. I was stuck in this body with no control over it whatsoever. I wanted to call out to her, hold her, do anything I could to make everything better.
"Lucy Heartfilia." Came a gruff voice that seemed to be right by me. It was only a few moments before I realized the voice had come out of my mouth. My body moved forward until I was standing right on top of her. Her big doe eyes slowly opened, looking up at me with something that I couldn't quite pinpoint.
"Natsu...you're safe." Her voice came out as barely a whisper. The voice just snorted.
"You really do love him, don't you?" He asked, sounding amused. Lucy just looked confused for a second, but then she let out a little laugh, even though it probably hurt her injured form.
"More than you know." She replied, as if it had always been that way and would always be.
"Well, just because he cares for you doesn't mean I'll take any mercy on you." He said, malice laced in his gravelly voice. My arms moved fast, clamping down on Lucy's throat. Her beautiful, brown eyes widened, but didn't fill with fear like everyone else's did. She just looked up at me with complete and total...trust. My hands just tightened around her throat.
I tried to scream, to let go, to step back. My body only flinched. I lifted her up so that she was now only almost touching the ground with the tips of her toes. She choked and gasped for breath.
I decided in that moment that this was hell. Not a burning place under the ground for people whose souls were tainted with evil or eternal punishment. No, hurting Lucy was hell.
I screamed at the voice(who I presumed was controlling my body) to stop, telling it I'd do anything for it to stop, to spare her. It didn't listen and kept my hands firmly placed around Lucy's throat, her small hands gripping at my wrists and arms.I couldn't take this. I would gladly die rather than see one more second of Lucy hurting.
"N-natsu." Came a tiny whisper. Her eyes were pained, but not scared as she gazed at me. "Natsu, fight back. I know you can." She said through a soft smile. "Come back to me, Natsu." Oh, I wanted to. Dear god, I wanted to. She kept talking to me, "Natsu, you've got to stop. If you don't I won't be able to keep my promise." She rasped out.
She was right. She had promised. I had to stop. Lucy had promised to stay with me!
My grip loosened and my eyes rolled back into my head. Darkness encased my vision and all I could hear was a soft voice whispering sweet lullabies into my ear.
Dear Lucy,
Me and Happy are going on a little training mission. Be back in a year or everyone goodbye for us, will ya? Thanks, Lucy! See ya later!
-Natsu
I was finally going to do it. I was going to leave. Lucy would no longer have to look upon the face of a monster. A monster that had tried to murder her.
I would come back once she had forgotten about me. Once she had forgotten that she had ever loved a monster. A year sounded like a good place to start.
As I walked on the worn dirt path, my pack weighing me down ever so slightly, I couldn't get the image of the celestial mage out of my head. She haunted every thought I had. Plaguing my mind with her and only her.
In order to go through with this I needed to forget about her too or I would never be able to stay away for long. I could never have imagined how very hard it would actually be to make Lucy disappear from my mind.
Magnolia's streets were crammed with people as early morning market started up. Dogs chased around little kids around their parents feet. The smell of freshly baked bread was woven into the morning air. Song birds twittered happily as if they didn't have a care in the world. I, was anything, but carefree. My palms were drenched in sweat and I kept running my fingers through my spiked hair nervously.
I'm not even going to try denying it. I was scared. I mean, what if I still scared them? What if they wouldn't accept me? What if she never wanted to see me again?
I just decided to push these troubling thoughts away and just face the guild. I was going to have to do it at some point, why not now.
Though, all too soon Fairy Tail was right in front of me in all of its glory. Well, here goes nothing.
I pushed through the heavy wooden doors, put on a smile, and greeted the guild as cheerfully as I could. "Hey, everyone! Been a while hasn't it?" I yelled, actually just as excited as I was terrified to see the familiar faces of my friends. All of them just stared at me, shock written clearly all over their faces. Mira was the first to break her gaze. She sprinted towards me in a huge bear hug. Soon after everyone else came to their senses and tackled me down as well. Everyone was shouting at me how happy they were to see me and how they thought that I would never come back. I sighed. This was still my family and I guess it always would be. There was still one missing thing that I needed though.
"Hey, Mira, where's Luce?" I asked, wringing my hands nervously. Mira just froze, her smile dropped, and she grimaced uncharacteristically.
"Well, you see, Natsu. Lucy is well, um, kind of-" Mira started, but was cut off by Levy. Levy just looked up at Natsu with a pained expression.
"Mira, you're just making it worse." Levy explained, "Natsu, Lucy is g-gone and she's not c-coming back." Levy gently wiped the tears forming in her eyes.
My breath caught in my throat. She didn't mean that- no! That couldn't be! It just couldn't!
"What the hell are you talking about, Levy! Where is she?" I screamed at the poor girl.
Levy just looked at me with the most pitiful look I have ever seen. "Natsu, she just couldn't handle it. You know, you leaving. She looked everywhere for you. She thought you left because of her, something she did. No matter how much we tried to convince her otherwise, she wouldn't listen. S-she didn't want to live without you, Natsu. No, I don't think she could live without you. Natsu, I'm sorry, but she's really gone. She's at peace now." Levy finished, looking down at her shoes.
No. This wasn't happening. She was gone. You know, whoever said you never know what you have until you lose it was damn right. I lost the one thing everyone in this world strives for. Love. I lost love. I had just thrown it all away.
"B-but, she promised…"
Alright, what do you think! Please leave a review! It would really be great to get some feedback.
Anyway, I hoped you all liked this tragedy fanfic!
~Stargazer