A/N:
A weird, stupid idea that came into my head when I was chatting to a friend and wouldn't go away. This story is based in the AU of my story Harry Potter: Scourge of Knockturn Alley, but can be understood without reading that - though obviously I'd love it if you would ;)
Please let me know what you thought. I will love you forever. Promise.
Morning came all too soon for Chris and Sarah Patton, as their young son Jacob bounced excitedly into their room.
"Mum, Dad!" He squealed, "It's my PARTY today!"
John groaned and rolled over to look at the clock. 6am.
"Jacob, what did we tell you about when to get up?"
Jacob stopped short and looked at the floor.
"Not before seven."
"And what time is it?"
Instead of answering, Jacob simply stuck his bottom lip out slightly before running out of their room and back into his, where they heard him chattering merrily with his toys.
"Good morning T-Rex, I'm 6 and it's my birthday party today, so I'm going to get presents and cake and my friends are coming and we're going to play games and eat cake and Mummy said that if I'm really good this morning then Emily can stay the night and we can maybe even have a special birthday party day midnight feast and…"
Chris rolled back over and snuggled into his wife, ignoring her muffled protestations. He dozed off for 57 more glorious minutes, before his son once again ran into his room.
"Mummy, Daddy, it's really really nearly 7 now and T-Rex and Momo didn't want to wait anymore. Can they come to the party Mummy can they please?"
Chris found his bed suddenly full of small boy, and several cuddly toys. Momo the cow, Jacob's second- favourite toy (sometimes his first-favourite, but currently just behind T-Rex on Jacobs extensive 'favourite list') hit him in the face as Jacob gesticulated excitedly to his Mum. He dragged himself out of bed just as Momo again hit the spot where his head had been. It was his turn to make the morning tea.
oOoOoOo
A few hours later, Jacob's excitement had increased to record levels. Sitting by the front window for the last twenty minutes, he had just spotted the first of his friends arriving for his party.
"MUMMY! Charlie's here!" He squealed, running into the kitchen. "Can I open the door, can I please?"
"Of course you can, come on then."
A knock sounded on the door and Jacob skipped out into the hall and stretched up on tiptoes to open the latch.
"Hi Charlie," he grinned, "comeincomeincomein!"
He received his first present and waited for Charlie to take his shoes off before dragging him into the living room, giggling giddily with excitement. As more and more of his guests arrived, Jacob was practically bouncing off the ceiling and his friends weren't far behind.
"Thank goodness we decided to do food after games!" Sarah whispered to her husband as the children danced around the room for musical bumps, "Imagine how much crazier this would be if they were already hyped up on sugar!"
"I know," replied Chris, "I'm hoping they'll have calmed down a little by the time you-know-who arrives."
He pressed the pause button on the music tape and 20 kids dropped quickly to the floor. Sarah called Olivia out, and she came to sit with them. The eventual winner was Jacob's friend from swimming club Peter, and he delightedly took his prize of a bubble sword before running out into the garden to try it out.
Food was, as predicted, absolutely manic. Twenty children hyped up on ten different kinds of sugar is not a pretty sight for those trying to keep them from running into the furniture. So, it was with great relief that Chris finally heard the doorbell ring. As his wife shepherded the children into the living room, he went into the hall to get the door.
Opening the door, his eyes widened at the sight before him. He and Sarah had hired a children's magician as a surprise for Jacob, and well, this man certainly looked the part. He had long ginger hair, which was slightly greasy looking but mostly covered by an impressively tall pointy hat, and a long beard which dangled down over his hotchpotch star-patterned robes. After a few perfunctory greetings, he pulled a large box with him into the hall, and followed Chris into the living room to meet the children.
"Alright everyone," Chris announced as he entered the room, "we have a very special surprise guest here today, would you like to meet him?"
"Yeeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhh!" The children were practically vibrating with excitement, delighted giggles and shrieks filling the room. Jacob put his finger to his lips and shushed them until they settled down, shushing themselves and giggling quieter now.
"Well in that case, I would like to present to you, Spiro the Spectacular Sorcerer!"
The children's magician entered the room to the squeals and exclamations of the children, and deposited his box near the centre of the room, standing right in front of it and waiting for the noise to die down.
"Hello everybody!" he cried, a smile spread under his crooked nose.
"Hellooooooo!" the children cried, bouncing excitedly, waiting for the first trick.
And Spiro did not disappoint. He reached into one sleeve dramatically, then pulled something out with a flourish. A loud pop sounded, and the children were showered with brightly coloured streamers from the end of the man's wand. They giggled and pulled the streamers out of their hair, only for the magician to wave his wand again causing the top of his box to burst open, showering even more streamers – this time gold and silver – all over the delighted children.
The magician's set went on for a good half hour, in which time he amazed not only the children, but also Chris and Sarah. He was easily the best magician they had ever seen, pulling impossibly large juggling balls out of nowhere – surely they wouldn't have fit in his sleeves - and making them juggle themselves above his head while he made the children roar with laughter by pretending not to know where they had gone. Then, he went through a series of incredible sleight of hand tricks. He sent Zachary outside to hide any card from a whole pack of 52 cards somewhere in the garden, and when he returned, picked exactly the right card right out from behind his ear, causing him to run outside exclaiming wildly that it was gone from under the garden gnome where she had hidden it! Next, he went up to a little girl called Mia who had her hair tied back with a pretty green ribbon, pulled at it, then pulled some more and tugged metres and metres of the green ribbon out of her hair, as everyone gaped in amazement then roared with laughter at her wide eyes.
Finally, he called Jacob up the front as his special birthday volunteer. He looked at him for a moment, winked conspiratorially at his audience, then waved his wand and shouted some words of mumbo jumbo that no-one understood. There was a puff of smoke, and suddenly Jacob was wearing a very pretty pink dress, just the same as Emily's. The children laughed uproariously as Jacob opened and closed his mouth in shock, looking very much like an indignant fish. Sarah snapped a photo.
"Oh dear oh dear," said the magician, "I appear to have used the wrong spell. Let me just get rid of that for you."
He waved his wand once more, and the dress disappeared, replaced by a fine set of wizard's robes just like those Spiro the Spectacular Sorcerer was wearing. As a final touch, Spiro went over to the side of the room, reached into the fishtank and pulled out a perfectly dry matching hat, settling it merrily on Jacob's head. That done, he pulled the fish out of Jacob's ear, plopped it back in its tank and swept a dramatic bow. Children and adults alike burst into applause, and then Chris led the children outside to play in the garden whilst Sarah settled payment with the magician, and thanked him for his wonderful show, promising to recommend him to all her friends.
Half an hour later after accepting a cup of tea and two slices of cake – one for his son – the magician walked away down the street, paused, looked around him for anyone watching, and then vanished with a pop.
Back in his lodgings, Mundungus Fletcher smiled. Simple spells, easy money.