(This story takes place during "Beauty and the
Beasts." It's kind of like my version. Yeah, I know
the part about the deer is seriously creepy. *note to
self:Don't write fanfic after midnight*)
Buffy looked at Angel, who had sunk to his knees, sobbing her name. "Angel?" she whispered. He looked back up at her, with his dirty tearstained face, and she sank down to his level, too. She held him close to her, tears streaming down her face. After awhile, she pulled back to look at him. His face was dirty, and his eyes looked so hollow it scared her. She could see that he was weak. "Angel," she said gently, " it'll be dawn soon. We should get you back to the mansion." He looked at her, and for one moment she was terrified that he didn't understand. Slight comprihension flickered in his eyes, outruled by the pain. She rose to her feet, helping him up. He leaned on her, and she helped him get to the mansion. She helped him lie down by the fireplace, gazing at the place where Acathla had been. "Get some sleep, okay?" She whispered, sitting down alittle farther from him then she had meant to. He closed his eyes, feeling safe now that Buffy was here. He drifted off, and began to dream.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------
Angel ran through the forest on all fours, confusion buzzing in his brain like a persisant fly. His instincts screamed at him to kill, to give in to his urges. He had suffered for so long, and his humanity had long since disapeared beneath the surface. His mind was gone, eroded by the pain. His intincts were the only thing left. A twig snapped, and his head darted up to smell the air. He caught a scent, a human scent. He ran, relishing in the simpicity of it. He saw a girl and smelled her blood, pumping through her body steadily. He lept at her, animal instincts taking over. "Angel?' the girl whispered. He stopped in mid-leap. It was Buffy. The one thing that prevailed over his instincts was her. She was the one thing that made sense in his battered mind. He reached for her, and as he did she disapeared.
Angel stood shakily, finding himself in the library. Where Buffy had always come to see.....Giles. He remembered the Watcher suddenly, and everything he had done to him. "Oh,god."Angel whispered, sinking to his knees. He looked up to see Giles and Jenny Calendar kissing passionately. They both broke away to stare at him . "There are two kinds of monsters." Giles said. "The first can be redeemed, or more importantly wants to be redeemed. The second is a void of humanity. Cannot respond to reason, or love." Jenny Calendar stared at Angel coldly. "Which one are you?' she asked.
Angel again saw the brillaint white light and was suddenly in the Bronze. The sound of sultry music filled his ears, and the intoxicating feel of too many bodies packed into one space made him feel like he was underwater. He saw Willow, Xander, Oz and Cordelia sitting at a table. He walked over too them. "Where's Buffy?" he asked. They all looked at him fearfully, Xander grabbing Willow's arm and yanking her away. "Willow, you're shaking." Angel said, reaching out for her. Willow whimpered and opened her mouth to scream. Xander pulled a cross out of his pocket, holding it up to Angel's face. "You're the reason she's afraid of the dark, you monster. Get the hell away from us and Buffy." Angel shook his head, backing away. "I..I'm sorry." he said, turning to run out of the building.
He found himself in the alley where he had met Darla. "I can show you. "Dara said seducdively. "Could you then?" he heard himself say. "Things you've never seen, never even heard of." she said. "Sounds excitin'." He said. "It is. And frightening." she repiled softly. "I'm not afraid. Show me. Show me your world." He said, lost in her gaze. As she bit him, he felt the world around him melt away, powerless to stop her. A part of him had no intention to stop her, welcoming the horrific change. As he swallowed her blood, the white light whisked him back to the mansion.
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Buffy sat watching Angel toss and turn, features changing from human to vampire. She sighed and pulled her sweatshirt around herself , wishing there was something she could do, something she could say. God, she should just be grateful that he was back. She didn't know why he was, but the only thing that mattered was that he was. She knew they could never be lovers, and she had fully intended to get over him, god, she had killed him, but when he sank to his knees sobbing her name, she knew she couldn't turn her back on him, this poor man that had suffered so much. She loved him, and nothing she said or did could change that. She could fool everyone but herself. At that moment, something glinted in the moonlight. Buffy curiously got up and kneeled down to pick it up. It was her claddaugh ring. She felt tears well in her eyes as she slipped it back on, slowly and deliberately.
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He walked through the dark mansion, trying to find her. "Buffy?" he called out to the dismal grey walls. He was so lost, trying to remember where she was. He had to find her.He needed her. Everything was so muddled. He walked down a long hallway that he never knew existed. At the end of it was a mirrior. Angel peered into it, hoping to find Buffy. A hidious demon glared back at him. "I can walk like a man, but I'm not one." It said, throwing back it's head to laugh. "Don't deny it any longer, Angelus." it hissed, fading into grey. "No." Angel said, backing away. "That's not me. That can't be me." He turned around and started to run. He turned the corner and was stopped by Buffy. "You're not an animal. Animals I like." she said, holding a sword over him. " God, it feels like I haven't seen you in months. Everything's so muddled. " Angel said, desperately trying to remember, block out the instincts that swirled around inside him, making him dizzy. "Buffy, I..I lost you." he said, looking up into her eyes. Buffy's eyes locked with his, and she lowered the sword. "Angel?" she asked softly, hope shimmering in her eyes. Angel nodded, feeling tired and lost. Buffy sank down to him, and she grabbed his hand. A brilliant white light enveloped them, and Angel sqeezed his eyes closed.
Angel sat in an armchair in the mansion, staring into the roaring fire. He wanted to move, get up, but his gaze remained transfixed on the fire. "Angel." a voice called. It was Buffy. He got up, crossing the room to where he had heard her voice. She was outside, wearing a light purple sundress. She smiled at him. "Come on, Angel. Come out." He stared at her. "Buffy, I can't. The sunlight..." he said sadly. Buffy smiled and extended her hand. "Yes you can. Everything's allright now. Come on."Angel took her hand, letting her lead him out into the light. He squinted, looking at Buffy 's face. "See? Everythings allright now." she said, taking his hand in hers. They walked for a long while, suddenly ending up in some woods. He heard the birds singing and smiled. Buffy squeezed his hand tighter. "Angel, look." she whispered, pointing at a baby dear. He smiled down at her, watching the deer graze peacefully. Suddenly, he felt his features morph into the vistage of a vampire, bloodlust overwhelming him. With lighting speed, he grabbed the deer and sucked it dry. His hunger finally quenched, he fell back onto the grass in horror, looking at the blood on his hands. The body of the deer transformed into that of the Romani girl her had killed so many years back. Buffy came up beside him and helped him to his feet. "You hurt her.''she said. "I..I didn't mean...I couldn't control..." Angel stammered, feeling sick. Buffy turned to face him. "You hurt me." She said. Memories of him hurting her, causing her pain, making her cry flew across his memory, overwelming him."Buffy, everything I did to you...I couldn't...."he began. She put a finger over his mouth. "Shhh..it doesn't matter. Everything's allright now." She kissed him softly and breifly, making his vampire face melt away. She took his hand again and they walked towards the beach.
Buffy lead him into the surf, letting it come up over her feet. She smiled at Angel. "Buffy, you know that I..." He said. "I know." she said. As she waded alittle further into the surf, Angel saw dark shapes aproach her. "Buffy, maybe you should come back."he called to her. She turned around and smiled at him. Suddenly, hands reached out and pulled her under the water. She screamed, thrashing wildly. "Buffy!" Angel cried out, running to her. They were drowning her. He knew who they were suddenly. His victoms. People he had killed. As he reached out to pull her away from them, Jenny Calendar imerged from the water and grabbed him "You think you know what's to come, what you are? You haven't even begun." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------
Angel's eyes snapped open, and he gasped as he jerked up. "Angel? It's okay, it was just a dream." Buffy said soothingly, coming to sit next to him. "Oh, god, Buffy, I thought I lost you." He rasped. "Shhh...everythings allright now." She said, trying to smile. "Buffy, it's so hard. I feel like I'm..lost in all of it. The pain and the memories, god, I can't control it." He said, putting his hands over his dirty face. "You have to, Angel. You have to keep fighting" She said. "It's so hard." he whispered. Buffy glanced down at her claddaugh ring, then turned her gaze back to Angel. She gently took his hands off his face and gazed into his eyes. "You don't have to do it alone."
Buffy looked at Angel, who had sunk to his knees, sobbing her name. "Angel?" she whispered. He looked back up at her, with his dirty tearstained face, and she sank down to his level, too. She held him close to her, tears streaming down her face. After awhile, she pulled back to look at him. His face was dirty, and his eyes looked so hollow it scared her. She could see that he was weak. "Angel," she said gently, " it'll be dawn soon. We should get you back to the mansion." He looked at her, and for one moment she was terrified that he didn't understand. Slight comprihension flickered in his eyes, outruled by the pain. She rose to her feet, helping him up. He leaned on her, and she helped him get to the mansion. She helped him lie down by the fireplace, gazing at the place where Acathla had been. "Get some sleep, okay?" She whispered, sitting down alittle farther from him then she had meant to. He closed his eyes, feeling safe now that Buffy was here. He drifted off, and began to dream.... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------
Angel ran through the forest on all fours, confusion buzzing in his brain like a persisant fly. His instincts screamed at him to kill, to give in to his urges. He had suffered for so long, and his humanity had long since disapeared beneath the surface. His mind was gone, eroded by the pain. His intincts were the only thing left. A twig snapped, and his head darted up to smell the air. He caught a scent, a human scent. He ran, relishing in the simpicity of it. He saw a girl and smelled her blood, pumping through her body steadily. He lept at her, animal instincts taking over. "Angel?' the girl whispered. He stopped in mid-leap. It was Buffy. The one thing that prevailed over his instincts was her. She was the one thing that made sense in his battered mind. He reached for her, and as he did she disapeared.
Angel stood shakily, finding himself in the library. Where Buffy had always come to see.....Giles. He remembered the Watcher suddenly, and everything he had done to him. "Oh,god."Angel whispered, sinking to his knees. He looked up to see Giles and Jenny Calendar kissing passionately. They both broke away to stare at him . "There are two kinds of monsters." Giles said. "The first can be redeemed, or more importantly wants to be redeemed. The second is a void of humanity. Cannot respond to reason, or love." Jenny Calendar stared at Angel coldly. "Which one are you?' she asked.
Angel again saw the brillaint white light and was suddenly in the Bronze. The sound of sultry music filled his ears, and the intoxicating feel of too many bodies packed into one space made him feel like he was underwater. He saw Willow, Xander, Oz and Cordelia sitting at a table. He walked over too them. "Where's Buffy?" he asked. They all looked at him fearfully, Xander grabbing Willow's arm and yanking her away. "Willow, you're shaking." Angel said, reaching out for her. Willow whimpered and opened her mouth to scream. Xander pulled a cross out of his pocket, holding it up to Angel's face. "You're the reason she's afraid of the dark, you monster. Get the hell away from us and Buffy." Angel shook his head, backing away. "I..I'm sorry." he said, turning to run out of the building.
He found himself in the alley where he had met Darla. "I can show you. "Dara said seducdively. "Could you then?" he heard himself say. "Things you've never seen, never even heard of." she said. "Sounds excitin'." He said. "It is. And frightening." she repiled softly. "I'm not afraid. Show me. Show me your world." He said, lost in her gaze. As she bit him, he felt the world around him melt away, powerless to stop her. A part of him had no intention to stop her, welcoming the horrific change. As he swallowed her blood, the white light whisked him back to the mansion.
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Buffy sat watching Angel toss and turn, features changing from human to vampire. She sighed and pulled her sweatshirt around herself , wishing there was something she could do, something she could say. God, she should just be grateful that he was back. She didn't know why he was, but the only thing that mattered was that he was. She knew they could never be lovers, and she had fully intended to get over him, god, she had killed him, but when he sank to his knees sobbing her name, she knew she couldn't turn her back on him, this poor man that had suffered so much. She loved him, and nothing she said or did could change that. She could fool everyone but herself. At that moment, something glinted in the moonlight. Buffy curiously got up and kneeled down to pick it up. It was her claddaugh ring. She felt tears well in her eyes as she slipped it back on, slowly and deliberately.
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He walked through the dark mansion, trying to find her. "Buffy?" he called out to the dismal grey walls. He was so lost, trying to remember where she was. He had to find her.He needed her. Everything was so muddled. He walked down a long hallway that he never knew existed. At the end of it was a mirrior. Angel peered into it, hoping to find Buffy. A hidious demon glared back at him. "I can walk like a man, but I'm not one." It said, throwing back it's head to laugh. "Don't deny it any longer, Angelus." it hissed, fading into grey. "No." Angel said, backing away. "That's not me. That can't be me." He turned around and started to run. He turned the corner and was stopped by Buffy. "You're not an animal. Animals I like." she said, holding a sword over him. " God, it feels like I haven't seen you in months. Everything's so muddled. " Angel said, desperately trying to remember, block out the instincts that swirled around inside him, making him dizzy. "Buffy, I..I lost you." he said, looking up into her eyes. Buffy's eyes locked with his, and she lowered the sword. "Angel?" she asked softly, hope shimmering in her eyes. Angel nodded, feeling tired and lost. Buffy sank down to him, and she grabbed his hand. A brilliant white light enveloped them, and Angel sqeezed his eyes closed.
Angel sat in an armchair in the mansion, staring into the roaring fire. He wanted to move, get up, but his gaze remained transfixed on the fire. "Angel." a voice called. It was Buffy. He got up, crossing the room to where he had heard her voice. She was outside, wearing a light purple sundress. She smiled at him. "Come on, Angel. Come out." He stared at her. "Buffy, I can't. The sunlight..." he said sadly. Buffy smiled and extended her hand. "Yes you can. Everything's allright now. Come on."Angel took her hand, letting her lead him out into the light. He squinted, looking at Buffy 's face. "See? Everythings allright now." she said, taking his hand in hers. They walked for a long while, suddenly ending up in some woods. He heard the birds singing and smiled. Buffy squeezed his hand tighter. "Angel, look." she whispered, pointing at a baby dear. He smiled down at her, watching the deer graze peacefully. Suddenly, he felt his features morph into the vistage of a vampire, bloodlust overwhelming him. With lighting speed, he grabbed the deer and sucked it dry. His hunger finally quenched, he fell back onto the grass in horror, looking at the blood on his hands. The body of the deer transformed into that of the Romani girl her had killed so many years back. Buffy came up beside him and helped him to his feet. "You hurt her.''she said. "I..I didn't mean...I couldn't control..." Angel stammered, feeling sick. Buffy turned to face him. "You hurt me." She said. Memories of him hurting her, causing her pain, making her cry flew across his memory, overwelming him."Buffy, everything I did to you...I couldn't...."he began. She put a finger over his mouth. "Shhh..it doesn't matter. Everything's allright now." She kissed him softly and breifly, making his vampire face melt away. She took his hand again and they walked towards the beach.
Buffy lead him into the surf, letting it come up over her feet. She smiled at Angel. "Buffy, you know that I..." He said. "I know." she said. As she waded alittle further into the surf, Angel saw dark shapes aproach her. "Buffy, maybe you should come back."he called to her. She turned around and smiled at him. Suddenly, hands reached out and pulled her under the water. She screamed, thrashing wildly. "Buffy!" Angel cried out, running to her. They were drowning her. He knew who they were suddenly. His victoms. People he had killed. As he reached out to pull her away from them, Jenny Calendar imerged from the water and grabbed him "You think you know what's to come, what you are? You haven't even begun." ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------
Angel's eyes snapped open, and he gasped as he jerked up. "Angel? It's okay, it was just a dream." Buffy said soothingly, coming to sit next to him. "Oh, god, Buffy, I thought I lost you." He rasped. "Shhh...everythings allright now." She said, trying to smile. "Buffy, it's so hard. I feel like I'm..lost in all of it. The pain and the memories, god, I can't control it." He said, putting his hands over his dirty face. "You have to, Angel. You have to keep fighting" She said. "It's so hard." he whispered. Buffy glanced down at her claddaugh ring, then turned her gaze back to Angel. She gently took his hands off his face and gazed into his eyes. "You don't have to do it alone."