A/N: I was talking to a friend in gym class about anime and when we got back to the girl's locker room, this idea came to mind… I've been waiting for a chance to type it up every since! And to all Kabuto fans, he deserves this.

As a side note, I have many ways of referring to Orochimaru; they tend to have something to do with being creepy, like calling him Sir Creepy Creep or Orochi-creeper.

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, some Japanese guy by the name of Masashi Kishimoto beat me to it. Alas, he did a better job than I would have with one problem, some of the characters I fucking hate!

Orochimaru sat there, looking at the screen of the TV in his private living room. He didn't want to watch Jersey Shore - the show was fucking stupid. He reached for the remote, momentarily forgetting that he had no use of his arms. "Curse that damn Sarutobi," he muttered then yelled, "Kabuto, get your ass in here!" From where Orochi-creeper was laying, he could hear beakers and test tubes clattering to the ground, some shattering, as his loyal servant ran to his aid.

"Orochimaru-sama, what do you need?" Kabuto asked, ever so sweetly and out of breath.

Orochimaru nodded at the TV and said, "Bad show, no use of arms. Can you change the channel?"

Kabuto sighed and did what was asked of him. Personally, he liked the show. He then went back to the lab.

Later that day…

Sir Creepy Creep was getting ready to take a shower. This was going to be a hard task and he knew it. He slithered out of his clothes, glad he didn't have Kabuto allow him to rock the butt-bow after what had happened the day before. He turned the water on with his face and checked the temperature with his tongue. Once it was at the right temperature, he yelled to his silver-haired bitch, "Kabuto, I need washing!"

'Damn it, just as it was getting good too. The old man is such a pain!' Kabuto thought as he walked to Orochimaru's private bathroom. 'I swear if the sex wasn't good, I'd leave!' He was very annoyed to have to put down his favorite book.

Kabuto stripped and hopped in the shower to help his master get clean. "I can't wait until you get the use of your arms back," he accidentally said aloud.

"Me neither," Orochimaru sighed, thinking about all the things he wanted to do with his hands at that moment. "Kabuto, my dick needs tending to," he said after a moment of silence, thinking about what he wanted to do to Kabuto for being so supportive and helpful was a bad idea.

"I know, I saw it go up," the silver haired man nearly snapped as he took one hand out of the older man's long black hair, the other continuing to move the lavender scented conditioner through dark, wet locks.

After the shower, Kabuto followed diligently behind his master into the biggest and best-decorated room in the mansion, the creepy man's bedroom. Expensive paintings lined all the walls except one which had a giant plasma screen TV mounted on it. A huge bed with a green canopy lied in the middle of the room with brown and green sheets and bedspread. Off to the far corner was a walk-in closet with a dresser inside.

"Kabuto~ can you get me some clothes?" the old man asked as he flopped on his bed, getting the sheets wet yet again.

Kabuto sighed, opened the closet door, threw a brown dress-like garment at the bed, and grabbed a pair of boxers, not noticing it was his own until he got over to his master. 'So that's where my favorite pair went, I guess old men have weird tastes,' he thought to himself. He continued on to dress the older man he adored then combed out the long black hair.

Few hours later…

The leader of the Sound Village hated to feel useless and have to depend on the younger man. He really did try to feed himself but failed miserably at opening the easy open can of ravioli, although he did succeed at cutting up his face and chipping a tooth. Apparently, wrapping you tongue around the can as your teeth lifted up on the metal tab to open it did nothing productive. So now not only did he need a new body, he needed a dentist to fix his tooth because a man of his status couldn't go around with even a minor chip in his teeth.

Kabuto was tired of hearing about the loss of a tooth fragment. He snapped; it was too much. He changed the channels for him –ruined an experiment in the process-, he put down his favorite book to give the man a shower and dressed him. He understood that he was very much needed by the older man, but if the man was going to complain, it should be about the stupidity of trying to open a can with his teeth, not a chipped tooth. "Orochimaru-sama! Shut up! Do you want food or not!" he yelled at his master.

"Food would be nice…" Sir Creeper said, finally calming down.

Kabuto's eyebrow twitched in annoyance and he grated his teeth. "Then quit whining." The silver haired man then proceeded to open the can that his master had slobbered on and put the contents in a bowl. It was put in the microwave.

The microwave dinged and the medical-nin took the food out. He grabbed a fork and fed his master, who was a little shaken by the earlier outburst.

That night…

Orochimaru sat in front of a TV hooked up to a surveillance camera over looking Sasuke's training. He claimed to be keeping an eye on his new pupil, but everyone knew the truth. The sanin's tongue hung out of his mouth as the boy on the screen took his shirt off –an order had been made to turn on the heat in the training room- the room the old perv was in got really hot. "Kabuto!" the old man yelled.

Kabuto ran to the security room, thinking something went wrong –like his master's new body broke a bone or ran away but when he got there, everything was fine. "What's wrong, my lord?" he asked, giving the older man a curious look.

"I can't reach my dick," Orochimaru answered flatly, as Sasuke sat down to take a break.

Kabuto knew what the pale man was hinting at and reached into his boxers to assist him in masturbation.

Later that night…

Naturally, Orochimaru needed help getting to bed. This often included Kabuto being allowed to sleep with him and some sex. Not tonight. The sanin had pushed the limits of his young follower. Orochimaru laid there on top of him comforter, in his boxers, unable to get under the covers. The only he managed other than stripping into his boxers was turning off the light. He tried everything to get the covers loose to no avail. Kabuto had seemed angry after giving him a hand job that he decided not to ask for help. It was not working out very well.

After managing to get to sleep without a blanket over him, Orochimaru noticed it got colder than usual and woke up. He fussed with the blankets with his legs again and failed yet again. He tried to move his arms only to fail. It got colder in his room. He couldn't take it anymore. "KABUTO!" he yelled at the top of his lungs. Kabuto walked in looking very sleepy.

"Need me to tuck you in?" the young man asked, grinning in the dark.

"Yes…" the old man sheepishly admitted.

"Get up," Kabuto said. Orochimaru did as he was told and the covers were pulled back. The old man got back on the bed and was tucked in.

"Aren't you getting in?" Orochimaru asked.

"No, not tonight," the younger man answered, confirming his master's suspicions.

On Kabuto's way out, he said to the man controlling the temperature in the master's room, "Keep up the good work." And handed him some more money to turn the air conditioning up in Orochimaru's room.