Title: If I Should Lose You, part 1/7
Author: ncis_love
Rating: NC-17 (There be sex. And lots of it).
Pairing: Abby/Gibbs, Abby/Tony, Gibbs/Abby/Tony
Category: Angst, Romance
Spoilers: Through, season 4 (mostly for Hiatus, Shalom, Escaped and Driven)
Summary: It isn't easy to say goodbye.
A/N: I wouldn't call it AU, though a few certain details were left out (Hollis, Jeanne). This is for my girls on twitter who have encouraged, hand-held, poked and prodded me to get this one done. Love to my ladies. Also for my flat!Boss. ;) Thanks for standing there and looking sexy, encouraging me with that 'knowing' smirk.

Part One

Abby kicked off her shoes just inside Gibbs' front door and juggled the pizza box from one hand to the other as she slipped out of her jacket. "Pizza!" She shouted, and carried it through to the kitchen, pulling out two plates and a handful of napkins.

She was headed out toward the living room, a DVD tucked under her arm, when Gibbs emerged from the basement. She leaned against him, mindful of her pizza, for a quick kiss and continued to the couch. She set her pizza down and circled around to the TV, setting up the DVD. It wasn't often she could get Gibbs to agree to a movie night, but every so often he gave in. So she picked up something historical (and not too long) and they cuddled up on the couch with pizza and beer.

"Good pizza." Gibbs dropped down to the couch beside her and propped his feet up on the coffee table.

"I think we got extra pepperoni." Abby waited until Gibbs was comfortable before shifting closer to make it easy for Gibbs to slip an arm around her.

As soon as their pizza was gone, Abby snuggled into Gibbs' arms to watch the movie. Movie or not, these were her favorite moments spent with Gibbs. Half the time she drifted off before the movie was half over, safe and content in his arms, the sound of his heart beating steady under her ear. He teased her if she fell asleep – it was her idea to watch the movie, yet he was the only one to finish it.

"Abbs?" He asked as the credits started to roll.

"Hmm?" Abby's grip on him tightened and then relaxed.

His fingers pulled lightly through her hair and he smiled softly. It wasn't often that he saw her so quiet and relaxed. "You awake?"

"Yeah. Good movie."

"Liar. You slept through half of it."

"Seen it before. I know what happens."

He pressed a lingering kiss to the top of her head. "Why didn't you pick something you haven't seen?"

Abby stretched and shifted so that he head was resting on his lap. "Because I thought you might like it. Did you?"

"Yeah, not bad." It was his standard response to movies he'd enjoyed. He couldn't come up with running commentaries on titles the way Tony could, so he left those movie nights to Tony and Abby - refusing to see new movies with her at the theater. He had to draw the line somewhere.

"Good." Abby fought a yawn and then reached up to brush a bit of saw dust from Gibbs' hair. "Dirty, dirty boy," she scolded.

Gibbs arched an eyebrow at her, the side of his mouth curving up in a half smile. It was moments like this, just the two of them completely comfortable together; moments where all his other troubles and worries seemed to disappear. It was moments like this where he felt the strong urge to open up to Abby about all his secrets. He wanted to share everything with her, open his heart and trust her with everything he had, but just as he wanted to open his mouth and lay it all out on the table, his brain told him no. What if she felt like a replacement? What if she felt like he compared her to Shannon? All his other wives had been compared to her, and ultimately it was his fault the relationships had failed. But with Abby, things were different. He honestly didn't compare the two, and when he was with Abby, it was easy to forget – to hide those memories, store them in a box labeled 'fragile' and not look back. And the longer he waited, the easier it was to pretend that Shannon and Kelly never happened. Most of their stuff was in the attic, Kelly's room long ago turned into a study of sorts, and the rest of the memories were hidden away in the basement. "C'mon Abbs, let's call it a night."

"It's not that late," Abby protested.

"Abby…" He warned as she slowly sat up. Once she was sitting up again, he leaned in to nibble at her ear. "Call it a night down here. Don't have to go to sleep quite yet."

"Don't know if I can make it all the way upstairs." Abby turned slowly, pressing her face against his neck and she moved to straddle his lap. "Might be too weak," she brushed a soft kiss against his skin. "Might have to take me right here."

"Oh?" His hands moved to her hips and then butt, sliding up under her skirt, giving her curves a gentle squeeze. "You think you're more likely to make it up to bed after I've had my way with you?"

Abby mumbled something against his collarbone between kisses but he couldn't quite understand. The moment her fingers started tugging at his zipper, he knew resisting her was a lost cause. So instead of working against her, Gibbs lifted his hips enough to push his pants down, groaning when Abby's hand immediately went to his cock. She giggled softly, sending a spark down his spine, and then kissed him, swallowing a second moan.

Working his fingers between her folds, he found her warm and wet and it took everything he had to resist pulling her on to him right then.

Instead he flicked a finger against her clit, gauging her response by the way her hand stalled on her upward pull as she continued to stroke him. As her thumb collected the pre-come, swirling it around the head of his cock, he decided that foreplay was for when he could stretch out on the bed and explore her at length, but sitting on a couch was a different matter. "Abbs," he growled. Guiding her hips directly above him, he helped her to lower herself over him; wrapping his arms tightly around her once she was fully seated. It was times like this that he was grateful for the little straps of lace she called underwear. It was easy to push aside and he didn't have to waste time in trying to get it off if he was in a hurry.

Abby pressed her forehead to his and squeezed her thighs against his. "I love this, feeling so connected to you." Her eyelids were heavy and her smile relaxed. "I love you."

It had taken him awhile to be able to say that he loved her - not that he wasn't sure, but the idea of putting it out there, saying the words, making it real, had frightened him. If their relationship was real, he could lose her. But he decided that the risks didn't outweigh the benefits. He pulled back slightly and tucked her hair back behind her ears, sweeping her bangs from her eyes. "Love you too."

They were still a moment longer before Abby decided she couldn't wait any longer. She rocked her hips against his, arching her back and leaning into him as he helped her to move.

"Feels so good…"

By the time they were done, Abby was a heap of exhausted limbs in Gibbs' lap. It wasn't the first time that they hadn't made the time to completely undress.

"Let's get up to bed." Gibbs kissed her temple and gave her thigh a gentle slap.

"Carry me?" Abby yawned. "I'm too weak to move. I'm still enjoying the post-orgasm haze. I won't make it." She giggled as Gibbs shifted her to the couch cushion beside him, rolling his eyes at her pleading smile.

"Enjoy the night on the couch." He bent to kiss her one more time as he pulled his pants back up and tucked himself away.

"Rude!" Abby held out a hand and let Gibbs pull her to her feet. "And just for that, I'm going to sleep with my cold toes against your legs."

"You always sleep with your cold toes against my legs," he nudged her toward the stairs and followed her up. They didn't spend every night together, but when they did, Gibbs always woke having rested a little better and felt more at ease with the world. There was nothing in the world like waking up with his raven-haired beauty curled up safely beside him.

Once they were upstairs, and under the sheets, Abby snuggled in close, wrapping an arm around him. "I don't know how I got to be so lucky, but whatever I did to deserve you… I'm glad I did it."

"Me too, Abbs. Me too." He never thought he would love again, his three failed marriages had him convinced that his happily ever after had escaped him. He was lost in thought, thinking of how if Abby hadn't had come to him, they might have never come together, when Abby's mouth descended over one of his nipples. "Jesus, Abbs!"

She giggled as she flattened her tongue over it, pushing a leg between his. "You kept your clothes on downstairs, I just wanted the chance to taste you." She moved slightly and pressed a kiss to the center of his chest. "That's all."

"Because you rushed me downstairs. If I remember correctly, I wanted to come up here and take things slow." Gibbs rolled over and pressed her down into the mattress. "But if we're tasting…"

The room was dark, but Abby could easily envision the boyish grin on his face before he lowered his head and nibbled along her spider web. "Giiiibbs," she twisted below him, giggling as his tongue traced over her tattoo. He always knew just what to do to make her squirm. "Don't know what I'd do without you."

Tony leaned against the doorframe in Abby's lab and watched as Abby rattled on and on about breaking her crime scene virginity. Gibbs, for the most part, let her rattle on, nodding when Abby glanced away from the computer to look at him. "…I mean, we've never had a crime scene in the squad room before. And Tony," she sent a smile in his direction, "let me take photos. Did you see my photos, Gibbs?"

"I saw." Gibbs leaned in to press a kiss to her cheek. "Good work, Abbs. See ya later." Gibbs gave Tony a friendly nod as he headed for the elevator. "Eight am tomorrow DiNozzo."

"Night boss!" Tony waited until Gibbs was out of earshot and then stepped further into the lab. "Aren't you headed home with the boss tonight?" He winked playfully at Abby, hoping that it covered any trace of jealousy.

"Not tonight. He's sitting in on some meeting between the director and SecNav. He'll need a hearty dose of boat and bourbon after that." Abby finished saving her files and then shut down her computer. "Want to grab a beer? Or we could pretend to be high-class and put party clothes on and go for cocktails. Or that new wine bar that went in across from the theater?"

"Pretend to be high-class? You know this Armani suit isn't for dress up." Tony straightened his tie and flashed his megawatt smile.

"So a beer at Joe's?" Abby slung her bag over her shoulder and grabbed her jacket.

"I'll meet you there." Tony let her walk ahead and switched off the lights behind them. He made sure she got to her car and took his time putting the key in the ignition and adjusting his mirrors so that he saw her pull out of her parking spot. Technically it wasn't his job, it never had been, but he couldn't help but feel protective over her. Not that Gibbs would care – they were all protective over Abby, and he was sure Gibbs appreciated it. Even McGee was protective of her, and they had dated way back, once upon a time.

Gibbs had nothing to be jealous about. Even if McGee still held on to the idea of resurrecting his relationship with Abby, there was no reason for Gibbs to be worried. It was clear Abby only had eyes for him.

It was both a blessing and a curse. On one hand, Tony knew he didn't have a chance with Abby, and being so certain that nothing would ever happen was reassuring. Knowing he couldn't be with Abby put him at ease – he didn't have to be someone he wasn't, he didn't need to try and impress her. She knew the real Tony, she knew his flaws and she didn't care. And on the other hand, it wasn't easy to sit back and watch the woman that he was in love with be happy with someone else. With someone he was… if he drank alone and really thought about it… with some he was mildly attracted to. When she had dated McGee, he hadn't been jealous. Not very much. He didn't want what she and McGee had – it had been more serious for him than it had been for her. He wanted the fun, but more than that, he wanted someone to look at him the way she looked at Gibbs. And then, even deeper in the dark recesses of his mind there was something about the two of them – both Gibbs and Abby – together that sparked something beyond jealousy in Tony. Curiosity, perhaps.

But above what he wanted for himself, he wanted Abby to be happy. If that meant she was happy with their boss, then he was okay with that.

Tony pulled into the parking lot outside their favorite dive bar and smiled when he saw Abby waiting just outside the front door.

"Hey stranger, looking for a cheap date?"

Tony whistled appreciatively at her. "You know it, baby," he grinned and held open the door, ushering her inside. "So how cheap are you? Should I order you an ice water?"

"Ha!" Abby slid into a seat at the bar. She ordered them each a beer and a basket of fries to share.

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you were trying to seduce me."

"Mm, is it the fries? Am I trying too hard?" Abby took a long sip of the beer the bartender set in front of her. "I'll let you pay. Will that even things out?"

Tony laughed and touched the rim of his beer bottle to hers. "Such a scam artist."

"So, did you think Ziva killed Brian Dempsey?"

"You know… if we hadn't been in NCIS, I'd have considered it as a real possibility. But even I have to admit that our little ninja has changed. A little. I don't think she'd kill someone at work unless it was a do-or-die situation. And we all know Dempsey didn't have a gun or anything. So, nah. I knew she didn't do it. Was slightly amusing to watch her sweat it out though."

"Tony!" Abby smacked his arm. "She could've been in a lot of trouble!"

"But she wasn't. She's fine. She's innocent. We all believe her. But, ugh," Tony shivered. "I can't believe I tied a dead guy to a steering wheel. I think that might have to go down as one of the weirdest things ever during a case."

Abby nodded. "The plague was pretty weird, too. I mean, who gets the plague?"

"I do."

"But that's more medically weird. Tying a dead body to a steering wheel was probably top of the list. Was he stiff?" She took another swig of her beer.

"Abby!"

"What..? I'm just curious. I've never tied a dead body to anything before."

Tony shook off the thought. "We're done with this conversation."

"Fine.," She pouted. "So what's new? I feel like I haven't seen you much outside of work lately. Everything okay? Any special ladies I need to do a background search on?"

"Nah," he laughed. "You said so yourself, you haven't seen me much outside of work. It's not because I'm busy with a social life outside of work. We've been working six days a week lately. Aren't we about due a weekend off? Can't you put a word in with the boss. I'm assuming you've got at least a little pull."

Abby shrugged casually. "We've got to figure out what the deal with Galib is, then Gibbs mentioned something about some time off. I'll see what I can do."

"Sure he doesn't want to pass that case on to Johnson's team?"

"I tried, believe me. I'm not an agent and even I'm tired of all these cases. He promised me though, we'll get some time off after we wrap up with terrorist plot that we got tipped on. He might've said something about a three-day weekend."

"I will love you, and him forever for three days in a row off. Like, not on call, not anything. Three days of… nothing but sleeping in, going out and having fun."

Abby raised her beer. "Amen."

The moment she woke up, she knew the day wasn't going to end well. She rolled over and buried into the arms that were wrapped around her, thankful that he wasn't yet awake. She didn't know what it was, but something told her to hold on to him as tightly as possible. When the alarm went off eight minutes later, she was feeling no more relaxed. "We have to go in today?"

"Yeah." Gibbs stretched and then pulled Abby over his chest. "Shouldn't be too busy in your lab today. I'll take you to lunch. You're on your own for dinner tonight. I'm meeting with Galib."

"Where at?"

"Abbs…" He'd already told her twice that he couldn't tell her.

"I know. Please tell me the team is going with you?"

"They'll be nearby, I promise. I'll be wired. They'll know if anything goes wrong." He brushed the hair from her face. "You trust them to have my back, don't you?"

"Will they be close enough to make a difference? You know I trust them, it's Galib that I don't trust. Will you at least wear your vest? Please? For me?"

Gibbs leaned in for a tender kiss. "Anything for you."

"But you're confusing me, and I saw the DVD twice." McGee folded his arms over his chest and leaned back against the back seat of the car.

"The Sound of Music confuses you, McProbester. Anyway, Zee-vah, The Usual Suspects stars Kevin Spacey and Benicio Del Toro… how can you go wrong with Benicio Del Toro-"

"I enjoy The Sound of Music. I-" She opened her mouth to sing when Tony clamped his hand over her mouth.

"Don't make me sing 'It's a Small World.' I know what that song does to people. Anyway, where was I? Oh, Benicio Del Toro and the rest of the cast."

"Shouldn't we have heard from Gibbs by now?" Ziva asked, ignoring Tony's running commentary on The Usual Suspects.

"He said he'd call, but anyway, in the movie-" A large blast had the three agents ducking for cover despite the fact that they were parked more than a mile from the marina where the large ship was docked.

"I don't think we need to wait for a call anymore. Go!" McGee shouted from the back seat.

Tony put the car in drive and pressed hard on the gas.

Jennifer Shepard's heels clicked loudly on the tiled floor as she approached the nurse's station. "Condition of Special Agent Jethro Gibbs." She pulled out her NCIS I.D. card and held it out for the nurse.

"He's unconscious at the moment. It's all I can really say." The nurse waved the I.D. card away and turned back to the files she was reading.

"I need to see him."

"I'm sorry; we don't allow visitors in the trauma ward. You'll need to wait. Medical personnel only," she motioned to the waiting area.

Jenny looked back over her shoulder at the large group of people waiting for news on their loved ones. "I just left a dinner at the White House to be here. I don't think you understand."

"I'm impressed. But you'll still have to wait."

"I was hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this." Jenny glared at the nurse and dug her cell phone from her small purse and dialed a familiar number. "Hello, Condi… I need a favor." She handed the cell phone to the nurse and watched as the woman's eyes narrowed and then went wide. Suddenly the nurse was handing back her cellphone and without a word buzzed her back into the trauma ward.

Just as the trauma ward doors closed, the front doors opened again and Abby rushed in. She ignored the looks of the people in the waiting room, her party outfit causing most people to stare. "Oh my God, I knew something like this would happen. I mean, I got the call from McGee, and I had to get here as soon as possible," she dug through her purse in search of her I.D. "But then my hearse got a flat tire and I had to take a cab from DC to Norfolk, and…" Unable to locate her I.D. Abby dumped the contents of her purse on the counter at the nurses' station. Spotting her I.D. she handed it to the nurse and pushed the rest of the contents back in her purse. "And I knew something was going to go wrong today, I could feel it." She looked up when the nurse pressed the button to allow her back into the trauma ward. "You're a really, really good person," she said before rushing down the hall.

"Abby…" Jenny reached out a hand to the black haired woman.

"Oh God, he's not…"

"No no, he's not. The doctors are with him now." Jenny watched as Abby began to pace, twisting her fingers together nervously. It was clear that the feelings between them ran deeper than she had expected, but at the same time, she couldn't quite tell just how deep.

Just then a doctor stepped into the hallway, putting a stop to Abby's pacing. "We'll be moving him into a room upstairs. He's critical, but stable."

"He'll be okay. He's always okay."

"Shh, Abby. Let the doctor speak." Jenny quieted her.

"I'm a very positive person, so I would like to think the best. But until he wakes up, we've no idea for sure what sort of brain damage could've occurred. I can assure you though; he will receive the best possible care." The doctor waved them out of the way as Gibbs' bed was wheeled from his room. "You can follow him up. I'll be up in an hour or so to check on his condition."

Abby watched with tears in her eyes as Gibbs was wheeled past. She wanted to reach out and touch him, to tell him that she would be there for him no matter what, and that everything would be okay. But she feared hurting him, almost more than losing him.

"Let's go." Jenny directed Abby to follow.

Once in Gibbs' room, Abby sat quietly by his bedside, her fingers wrapped around his, thankful that they managed to escape harm from the explosion. She was aware of Jenny standing opposite of her, but she couldn't bring herself to look at her, or listen to what she said.

Eventually Jenny moved away, turning toward the window, the pouring rain emphasizing the dark and dreary atmosphere in the hospital room. Her phone vibrated in her purse, and she pulled it out to find Tony's name flashing on the screen.

It was easy for Abby to hear Tony's voice on the other end of the line and she knew he was calling for an update on Gibbs. She didn't blame him, didn't blame anyone for not being able to prevent it, but she knew he would blame himself as the senior agent for not being able to somehow stop it. She let her eyes settle on Gibbs' face, tuning out the conversation Jenny had with Tony. His eyes were twitching, and she wondered why he hadn't woken up yet.

Gibbs smiled warmly at his little girl.

"I'll miss you daddy, I'll miss you so much!"

"I know princess. I'll miss you too. I love you."

"Love you too, daddy."

Standing to look at his wife, he can easily read the pain she has hidden from their daughter.

"We've said it all before."

"I wanna hear it again," she says sternly.

"I will take care, I will come back safe," he recites. It's something she's made him promise nightly since they'd learned of his deployment.

"Not those words."

"I love you," he smiles.

As the days began to bleed into one another, Jenny spent the majority of the day in the hospital. She knew Abby was torn between wanting to stay with Gibbs and wanting to be in her lab to figure out who had created this mess. They often passed in the hallway, Jenny headed home for the night, and Abby arriving to curl up in a chair by his bedside. She still hadn't asked Abby if there was something she needed to note in their personal files, but she figured the hospital wasn't the right time, nor place to ask. After discovering that the neurologist was the same man to have treated him back in 1991, Jenny had begun to learn bits and pieces of his past.

"It was the same back then. We couldn't find any medical reason for him not to wake up. Just seems as though some patients don't want to wake up. Something is holding him back. At this point, there isn't anything we can do."

"But is he in any pain? He looks like he is."

"Emotionally, I'm sure. I would call it more of a look of anguish. We've put on a topical pain reliever on the burns but I don't want to give him anything stronger as it could keep him from waking up."

"I understand," Jenny nodded. She drained her coffee. "Suppose I should go back in to check on him, not that anything has changed."

"I'll be up to look in on him shortly."

As Jenny approached Gibbs' room she heard voices talking. When she saw Abby, her first thought was that she was talking to Gibbs. But as she stepped in the room she saw a man she didn't recognize. "And you are…?" Her gaze turned to Abby. Her eyes were red and it was obvious she had been crying. "What's going on here?" The monitors told her there had been no change.

"Mike Franks. Retired NIS agent. Jethro worked for me."

The name sounded familiar and she shook his extended hand. "Director Jennifer Shepard, NCIS."

"A woman, director, huh?" Mike chuckled. "Things sure have changed, haven't they?"

"They have."

"I was just telling this lovely young woman a bit more about his past. Seems like he hasn't been the most fourth-coming."

"He was married, director." Abby looked at her sadly.

"That's no secret. He's been divorced three times. You know that." She looked from Abby to Mike Franks and back again.

"No, before that," Abby whispered

"Married to a pretty woman named Shannon." He unfolded a tattered old newspaper article and handed it to her. "They had a girl together. He was away, fighting over in Kuwait when they were killed. Shannon had witnessed a drug deal, and… well… An NIS agent was driving them to a safe house, but he was killed by a sniper. They didn't survive the car accident."

Suddenly it all made sense to her. How he'd failed three marriages. How he'd been so protective of her during their relationship. Why he threw himself into work and had little life away from NCIS.

"He doesn't want to wake up because he wants to be with them." Abby's voice was so small and fragile sounding it caused both Mike and Jenny to stop and look at her. "He's dreaming about them." She pointed to his eyes as they moved rapidly under his closed eyelids. "I can tell."

The three of them sat quietly in his room until it grew dark outside and the nurse asked them to leave. Rather than fight to stay the night, Abby simply nodded and left.

"Go home and get some sleep, Abby."

"Yes ma'am."

"Well, I consider us to be good friends, but I know little about his life before NCIS." Ducky titled his head as he tried to think over what he knew about Gibbs. Abby had been needed in the lab, so he had promised to keep Gibbs company in her absence. He and the neurologist were standing at the foot of his bed, discussing the events of 1991, and how it could have been brought up again with a head trauma. "I just wish I knew exactly what happened so that I could better help him to deal with whatever is going on in his brain."

"Understandable, I-"

The doctor was cut off when Gibbs' suddenly arched his back, his eyes wide as he tried to scream around the respirator tube helping him to breath. Seeing that he would only fight it, the doctor did his best to remove it quickly, switching to a more comfortable nasal cannula.

"You're in the hospital, it's alright. I'm Dr. Gelfand, Chief Neurologist, but look here," the doctor motioned toward Ducky at the end of the bed. "You know Dr. Mallard."

"He calls me Ducky. Welcome back, Jethro. We've all be a bit concerned. You shouldn't frighten us like this." Ducky smiled warmly, relieved to see his friend awake.

"Where am I?"

"You were in an explosion. It's okay; most patients that go through such a trauma don't remember what brought them here. That fact that you're awake and talking is a wonderful sign. You'll be 100% in no time at all."

"I… I don't know him," Gibbs pointed toward Ducky, a look of confusion on his face. "I need Shannon, where's Shannon?"

Ducky's eyes grew wide. Abby had tearfully filled him in on what Mike had told her about his late wife and daughter. "Jethro…" He cleared his throat. "You lost them… quite some time ago. It's 2006 now."

"No… no no no…" Gibbs pulled back the blankets in an attempt to get up.

"Probie!" Mike's sharp voice cut through the commotion and Gibbs froze. "You're in no state to go anywhere. Lay back and relax."

Ducky watched curiously as Gibbs did what he was told. "I'm Dr. Mallard… Ducky."

"Franks, Mike Franks. Retired NIS. You?"

"M.E. for NCIS." Ducky still had a look of shock on his face, never having thought he would see Gibbs follow orders from anyone. "Well, I should let the rest of the team know he's awake. I'll leave you to calm him down."

Mike watched the expression on the older man's face. "You're a good friend to him. Deep down I think he knows, he's just… confused. He's a tough bastard, he'll remember everything soon enough."

"I have no doubt." Ducky stepped outside and pulled out his cell phone. He thought it best to call Tony first. He could tell the team while Ducky went ahead and called Jenny afterward. As much as he wanted to tell Abby himself that Gibbs didn't seem to remember anything past 1991, he thought it would be better for Tony to tell her, so she could have the car ride to process. He decided to sit out in the waiting room for the team, giving Mr. Franks some time to explain everything that was going on. He was lost in his own thought when he heard Abby's voice down the hall, her heavy booths loud against the hard floor.

"Gibbs, Gibbs, Gibbs Gibbs…"

"Abby wait!" Tony was rushing after her.

"Abigail," Ducky stood and blocked her path. "You need to calm down."

"He's awake! I need to see him!"

"He's awake, it's true. But did Tony tell you…" He glanced at Tony and then back to Abby.

"He'll remember me. I know he will!"

Looking at Tony, who could only shrug, Ducky stepped out of her way. Both men followed behind as Abby slowly stepped into his room. Mike was sitting beside his bed, and they were talking quietly, the pain still evident in Gibbs' eyes.

"Gibbs?" Abby approached the foot of the bed slowly, her heart sinking as his eyes grew wide at the sight of her.

"Who… who are these people? Why do they act like they know me?" He looked to Mike for clarification.

Abby's heart sank at the look he gave her, almost as if he was frightened of her unusual look. Tony stepped up beside her and wrapped an arm around her shoulder and giving her a tight squeeze. "It'll be alright," he whispered.

Abby nodded and pressed her face against his shoulder as she took a shaky breath as Mike explained that they were his coworkers and the closest he had to real friends besides himself.

"No… I don't know them."

"You do Probie, settle down." Mike stepped forward and pushed him gently back against the pillows as he started to get agitated.

"If you don't mind," Dr. Gelfand waved the three visitors out to the hallway. "I'm sorry, I know you want to spend time with him, but when he's so agitated, it doesn't help him any. I can't say for certain, but I'm optimistic that he will slowly regain the memories he's lost over the next few days to weeks. Why don't you go home and get some rest. I have your contact information, and if anything changes I will let you know."

Abby started to shake her head, unwilling to leave, even if it meant waiting in the hallway.

"Come on, he's right. Some sleep will do you good. I've got to get back to the office, but maybe Ducky will take you home?" Tony looked to the doctor. There wasn't any more for either of them to do at NCIS until they had more evidence.

"Of course, come with me my dear. We'll stop by your place, grab a few things and you can come to my house. I suspect you haven't had much more than Caf-Pow the past few days. A decent meal would do you some good. The guest bed is all made up, and mother would love to see you."

Tony caught a ghost of a smile on Abby's face and nudged her toward Ducky. "If anything changes with the case, I'll let you know. Otherwise, I'll see you both tomorrow."

Abby peeked around the corner for one last look at Gibbs. His eyes were red and it was easy to see, even from a distance, that he was crying. She wanted to hold him and tell him everything would be okay, but even if he didn't push her away, she wasn't sure everything would be ok. She'd had no idea that he had lost a wife and daughter to such a horrific crime and the fact that he had been carrying such a burden alone for longer than she had known him weighed heavily on her.

She tried not to think about it once she arrived at Ducky's. He sent her in to wait with his mother while he put a fresh kettle of water on to boil. Mrs. Mallard was oblivious to the explosion and the fact that Gibbs' had been hurt and they intended to keep it that way. Abby listened with a smile on her face as she talked about the dogs, and retold Abby the same stories she had told her the last time Abby had come to visit.

"Donald dear," Victoria called. "Don't keep this lady waiting. When will supper be ready?"

"It's okay." Abby accepted the cup of tea and gave Ducky a little smile. "Is there anything I can do to help?"

"Heavens no, dear." Victoria interrupted. "We haven't invited you over to work in the kitchen. If Donald wasn't one for pinching pennies, we'd still have our full-staff to prepare meals."

Ducky rolled his eyes and went back to the kitchen to put a chicken in the oven. His mother was used to staff caring for her on the week days when she stayed at an assisted living facility, and then come weekends when Ducky brought her home she was often confused as to why her son was cooking instead of the staff.

When dinner was ready, Abby helped Victoria to the table, and then went to the kitchen to help Ducky bring the food back.

"I hope she isn't being too much of a pain."

"Nah," Abby pulled the bread from the oven. "She's only asked twice as to when we'll be giving her grandchildren."

Ducky laughed. "Yes, I suppose she's still holding out hope. Seems as though she's given up on her and Jethro spending their nights together."

Abby's smile faded. "She's asked about him, several times. Told her he was in LA working a case with their office. I didn't know what else to say."

"It's okay. The sad reality is that by the next time she does see him, she won't remember to ask how LA was."

TBC