Yo. I like bleach, a lot, and I try pretty hard to keep characters, well, in character. However, I'm not perfect, and sometimes rules are bent. Let's get a few things out of the way.
1. Ichigo is a cumguzzlingslut. He'll be bangin' a lot. And the the pairing listed is the one he'll end up in... somehow.
2. There are a LOT of pairings. Some het, some slash, a touch of incest [IlfortexSyzael? yeah...]. Suck it up or leave.
3. There's going to be a lot of sexy times. It's gunna get steamy, and kinky, and a little fucked up. Maybe. Yeah, probably. If you don't like, why are you here?
4. There are... 32 characters used. There will be chapters where some aren't seen. They'll be back, don't get your knickers in a twist.
5. I'm a slow ass updater. I'm sorry. I'll try to be quick, but well, yeah. I'll try to make it worth the wait.
Well, that's the important stuff. I hope you like it, really I do.
DISCLAIMER/WARNING: I don't own. Lots of sex. Inappropriate language and themes for the lil'ins. If you don't like, go away...
Enjoi.
[ALSO. THIS IS AN INTRODUCTION CHAPTER. IT'S SOMETHING I LIKE TO DO SO YOU KNOW THE CHARACTERS. THE LITTLE BIT OF PLOT THAT WILL EXIST WON'T BE INTRODUCED UNTIL NEXT CHAPTER.]
Gotei 13 Academy
A loud explosion sounded and Dean Yamamoto sighed to himself, resigned. He knew that reprimanding Shiba Kuukaku, the academy's psychotic Chemistry teacher, would do him absolutely no use. It hadn't the past 236 times, but as Dean it was something he had to do. She would stare at him as he gave his speech on responsibility and safety in the school then smile, nod, and bow, saying she'd do her best to follow the academy's rules. Then in under a week she would manage to create another explosion in the lab, endangering the life of his students once more. He couldn't fire her, he'd already tried. As a student body favorite, when he'd fired her the first time, everyone had absolutely refused to take Chemistry unless he brought her back. It had worked and now she knew she could get away with whatever she wanted.
"Sir," his secretary, Kotetsu Kiyone entered the room rather noisily, "Kurosaki Ichigo is here."
"Alright. Tell him to come in." Yamamoto sighed. The last thing he wanted to deal with was the orange haired punk. Kurosaki entered the room with his usual scowl on his face, and sat in front of Yamamoto's desk without being invited to do so. He sat halfway down in the chair with his arms crossed, a glare settled across his face.
"What is it this time, Old Man?" Kurosaki growled out, annoyed at his frequent calls down to the Dean's office.
Yamamoto stopped his glare from forming, and collected himself. "Disrespectful as always, brat. Don't tell me you don't know why you're here, Kurosaki."
He smirked, not even bothering to act innocent. "I have no idea what you're talking about." He answered smoothly.
Yamamoto sighed. "Of course you don't. You never do." He stood, and slammed his hands on his desk, glaring down at Ichigo. "Kurosaki, we know you were the one who spray painted the obscenities. We know you were the one who released the science department's snakes last month. We know you set off the fire alarm the month before that. Officer Shihoin knows it's you Kurosaki, and is willing to do anything to catch you. So listen up, one more prank, one more act of delinquency and you're done here at Gotei Academy."
Ichigo stood and smirked. "If you had anything, Pops, you'd have tossed me out by now. So if we're done here?" He saw the glare Yamamoto shot and walked out of the door. With a sigh Yamamoto sat down.
A few halls away in Kyouraku Shunsei's philosophy class, Ise Nanao tossed a book at the sleeping instructor's head. "Wake up you useless Sensei!" She screamed and immediately Kyouraku was awake.
"Oh, Nanao-chan, what's wrong dearest?" He asked. He realized his mistake as he could visibly see her getting more frustrated.
"What's wrong?" She shouted, to the displeasure of his class, as Ise tended to be very terrifying when she was angry. "What's wrong! You've slept every day for the past week instead of instructing!"
He blinked. "But Nanao-chan, isn't that your job?"
Every student in the class leaned as far back in their seats as humanly possible. Ise's hand reached up and slowly removed the glasses she was wearing. A true sign that she was about to explode.
"I...Ise-Sensei…" A brave girl raised her hand. "I think… I mean, it's fine if he doesn't lecture… we have our books." When Ise turned to her with a raging glare the girl quickly shut up and shrank in on herself.
"Now, now, Nanao Dearest. Don't scare the students." Kyouraku said softly. With a speed and strength nearly impossible, Ise picked up the chair near her and chucked it one handed at the lazy sensei's head.
Stark, sitting in the back row, lazily raised his head to look at what had been going on in the classroom. He'd been napping. He looked questioningly to the student next to him, Kuchiki Rukia.
"Ise-Sensei is mad at Kyouraku-Sensei again." She explained calmly, although cringing when Ise-sensei's yells went up in pitch.
The bell rang.
Rukia grabbed Stark's hand and they stood.
Students flooded the halls, heading towards classrooms, lockers, and the cafeteria.
"Hey, what'd Yamamoto want this time?" Hisagi Shuuhei asked, approaching Ichigo where he was at his locker. At the sound of Hisagi's voice Ichigo turned and grinned brightly.
"To try to blame the spray paint on me." He grinned, and Hisagi rolled his eyes knowingly.
"You're a delinquent."
"You like it." Ichigo grinned, and pulled Shuuhei in to leave a light kiss on his lips. Shuuhei wrapped his arms around Ichigo's neck and smirked into the kiss.
"Maybe."
"Are we interrupting a moment, boys?" Asked a bubbly voice from a large breasted red head. Matsumoto Rangiku was grinning and Hitsuguya Toshiro was looking to the side with a disinterested look on his face. Shuuhei wrapped his arm around Ichigo's waist and smiled.
"Nope." They began the walk to the cafeteria chatting about their classes before. On the way they passed Grimmjow Jaegerjacques-Sensei's classroom.
Inside the room Jaegerjacques sat at the chair behind his desk. "Here, now." He commanded and Kira Izuru willingly followed the order. He straddled his Sensei's lap and leaned down for a kiss. Although Kira was in a position over Grimmjow, Grimmjow easily dominated the kiss. He bit down on Kira's lip hard and as Kira moaned out, he invaded his mouth, sliding a hot tongue over Kira's.
"Sensei…" He breathed out as they pulled away, both breathing heavily. "Is the door locked?"
"Of course." He growled, leaning into Kira to attack his neck. He viciously sunk his teeth into the tender flesh, easily bringing forth blood. Kira shouted out, and ground down on Grimmjow.
"Marks… people will… ask question." Kira managed out around heavy breaths. Grimm acknowledged him with a hum as he lapped at the wound. Kira by now had worked the buttons undone on his sensei's dress shirt and leaned away for a second so he could slide it off. Grimm just as quickly removed Kira's shirt to show a mashing of beautiful purple, yellow, and grey marks. The results of old and fresh bruises.
"Admiring your handy work?" Kira asked as Grimm stared and ran his hands over Kira's chest. Grimm grinned up at him before sliding his hands down to Kira's thighs and squeezing with enough force to break. Kira hummed low in the back of his throat and tossed his head back. Unable to resist the sight Grimmjow caught a pert nipple between his teeth and ground them slowly. Kira was squeezing his shoulders now and hunched over him.
Grimm slid one hand from Kira's thigh to his half hard erection and rubbed the head through the cloth. "Mmm, easily excitable?" Grimm said with a laugh, releasing Kira's nipple to attack his mouth once more. He shifted his palm over Kira who held back a groan as he became hard under Grimmjow's touch.
He shifted away and off of Grimm's lap to kneel before him. He ran his hands slowly down Grimm's thighs before palming his growing erection. "I'm not the only easily excitable one." He mumbled up at Grimm who was watching him raptly. Kira leaned forward and put his mouth over Jeagerjacques' now hard clothed erection and Grimm let out a slow hiss as he teased him. Kira ran a tongue over denim and Grimm shivered.
"Kira…" He growled. Kira smiled softly and moved back to remove Grimmjow's pants.
He was interrupted by a banging on the door. Kira looked up with frightened eyes and Jeagerjacques glared at the offending door. "What the hell do you want?" He growled out at the door.
"It.. It's Yamada Hanatarou, Sensei…" The boy on the other side of the door stuttered out.
Grimmjow groaned unhappily, and pulled Kira up with him as he stood. He kissed him harshly and growled out a hot, "Later." Then he fixed his appearance and walked to the door opening it only slightly.
"Uh... you, Um, Sensei, said I-I could turn in m-my pa-paper by 12:30 and still get f-full points… so um…," He lifted up the papers he held in his hands. Jeagerjacques snatched them from him with a growl and closed the door quickly.
Yamada stood there for a few minutes before rushing off to lunch. As he turned around the corner not paying any attention at all to where he was going he smashed into Ilforte Grantz. They bowled over and landed hard on the ground.
"The fuck…" mumbled out Ilforte. He brushed his long blonde hair away from his face and looked down at the freshman who'd smashed into him.
Yamada was blushing furiously and stuttering. "I-I-I'm s-s-so sor-sor-ry Se-senpai." He stayed sitting on the ground as Ilforte stood and brushed himself off.
"Whatever kid." He offered him his hand, which Hanatarou accepted timidly, and helped him up. "Later."
Yamada continued his rush towards lunch and Ilforte continued off towards his brother's classroom. As he was about to enter his brother's room, the door across the hall opened and Ukitake Jyuushiro stepped out, closing the door quietly behind him. When he spotted Ilforte he tilted his head and smiled softly.
Ilforte looked down to his feet as a blush graced his features. "Hello," Ukitake said softly. "How are you Ilforte?"
"Good afternoon Ukitake-Sensei. I'm doing well. How're you today?" Ilforte asked, wishing away his blush.
He laughed, before breaking into a light cough, and then grimaced. "Well, better than most days." Without noticing, when Ukitake had begun to cough, Ilforte had stepped closer to him.
"Do you need any help, Sensei?" He asked, concern bleeding in his voice.
Ukitake just smiled and shook his head. "I've survived this long; I think I'll be okay." Ilforte nodded and blushed more, embarrassed for even asking. "It was very kind of you to offer help however." He said sincerely. Ilforte was beet red.
"I'll be off, tell Syzael I said hello." Jyuushiro said before walking off slowly. Ilforte took a second to collect himself and force his blush to disappear. Once he'd calmed down he turned and entered his brother's classroom.
"Hey Syzael." He said coming and swinging himself on to his brother's desk. Syzael Aporra Grantz was up to his elbows in shark guts. He slid off his gloves and sanitized his hands before approaching Ilforte.
Syzael threaded his hands in Ilforte's long platinum hair and left a passionate kiss upon his lips. "Hello brother." He said in usual greeting. Ilforte smirked and Syzael moved to sit in his desk chair.
"You're a sick bastard." Ilforte said, still smirking. Syzael glanced up at him, and shrugged.
"Is it dissection day?" He asked, looking at the repulsive shark that his brother had recently been systematically taking apart.
Syzael nodded. "They're to open them up, sort the organs and label appropriately. " Ilforte shivered.
"Disgusting," he commented. His brother just smiled.
"Isane-kun," Unohana Retsu spoke to her assistant in a room on the other side of the school. "Could you take Ukitake-Sensei's medicine to him, as well as Kenpachi-Sensei's?" She flipped through her papers, seeing which other students or teachers needed to be given medicine at the time.
"Yes, Sensei." Isane said as she pulled out both of their medicine bottles from the cabinet in the rather large nurse's office.
As she moved to head towards the door Hirako Shinji entered the room. "Nuuuurse Unohana!" He whined.
She looked sideways at the odd mouthed student. "Yes, Shinji-san?"
"My head hurts." He complained and pointed to his head.
"Maybe it's from that hat being too tight around your head." She tsked at him. "You know hats aren't allowed at school."
He shrugged. "You're the only one who ever says anythin'. Now can ya do somethin' about my head?"
She shook her head and walked to him and raised her hand putting two fingers against his temple. He closed his eyes as he felt her power seep through his head. "There, all better." She stated and went back to her work.
Shinji sighed. "Can I stay for awhile? I don't feel like going back to class."
Unohana shook her head at him, dismissing the idea. "Go back to class Hirako-san."
"But Retsu-Chichi…" He whined to the woman who had become like a grandmother to him.
She shot him a look. "Class, now."
"Fine." He said dejected. He left her office and walked back across the school to his technological science class.
Just as he opened the door, Urahara Kisuke-Sensei was showing the class a computer simulation of what their next creation would do. He stood in the front of the classroom where the door was. All of the desks faced the back and on the screen a purplish translucent field appeared around a simulated person, the numbers on the side showing that it was 15 feet in diameter and 15 feet in height.
"It's charged with negative spirit particles." Urahara explained. "It should be able to absorb positive particles and convert them to negative. Because of this all kido attacks are blocked and all zanpakto lose their powers once inside." He turned an evil grin to Shinji who glared and looked away. "We'll demonstrate real quick, and since Shinji decided to miss the beginning of class he'll be helping out."
Shinji scoffed and followed the man with the hat and sandals to the back of the room. He pushed the video screen up to reveal a fairly large and entirely empty area of classroom with black and red stains on the floor and walls. "I don't have a zanpakto jackass." He said disinterestedly.
"Tch tch. Language, Hirako-San." He chided and Shinji grimaced. "Here's one you can borrow." He tossed a sword to him. They had created the fake swords in class last semester. If one infused them with their spiritual energy they would transform just like a regular zanpakto.
"Don't throw swords idiot!" Shinji shouted before taking up a fighting stance, holding the faux zanpaktou. Urahara simply sighed and shook his head dramatically. Shinji took the time to infuse his sword with spirit energy and it transformed to look like his own. Urahara was standing at ready.
"Go." Urahara said, shifting into serious fighting mode. Shinji shunpoed left and came around Urahara's side. He was easily blocked, but brought his sword down and around to slide toward Urahara's unblocked middle. Urahara was forced to jump back to avoid being hit. Shinji continued his aggressive movements forward and the two continued trading hits silently for a moment, as tension filled the room.
Then Kisuke grinned. Shinji stood away from him, watching him warily. "Hadou 31." Urahara summoned the kido using a shortened version of the incantation, surprising the students of his class with how powerful it was. Shinji anticipated the attack and moved back and to the side to avoid it. Urahara then pulled a circular device on a necklace out of the inside of his shirt and pressed the center.
Shinji scoffed when the purplish field appeared around his instructor, flung his sword downwards and raised it to the side, holding it kendo style with both hands. He pushed more spiritual energy into the sword to raise its power, hoping it wouldn't be deactivated by Urahara's device. As he rushed his sensei the man just sat there with a dumb smile, his own sword already transformed back into its dormant state.
When Shinji passed through the negative field his sword untransformed. Rolling his eyes he dropped it, shunpoed forward, and planted a strong kick to the side of his instructors face. Kisuke went flying sideways not expecting the hit and smashed into the back wall of the class. The students gasped, one screamed, most sat with the jaws slack and eyes open wide. None of them would have even imagined smashing their instructor in the face.
"So really," Shinji said as he dusted himself and addressed his shocked class, "The point is, if you're going to use the thing, be prepared to really fight. If your hand-to-hand sucks, than screw it." He looked back at Kisuke and sighed. The man was still lying against the wall with his eyes closed. He shook his head and walked back to the man.
"Get the fuck up Old Man, I didn't kick you that hard." Shinji said as stood above Urahara's prone body. There was no movement from him. Shinji crouched down on his haunches. "Seriously? I know you're fine. I've hit you harder before." Still no movement. He rolled his eyes, but looked at the man with slight concern. He reached out a hand to shake the man.
Kisuke opened one eye and looked at the boy from under the rim of his hat. He smiled and grabbed his wrist. Shinji's didn't even look surprised, as he was used to the man faking it. "That hurt, Hirako-san." He said with a pout. Shinji glared. "Kiss it and make it better?" He said with a wide grin.
Shinji stood up and quickly delivered a quick kick to the man's face once more. The student's gasped again. They knew the boys were talking to one another, but couldn't hear the conversation. All they saw was Shinji kick their instructor in the face again and send him flying to the opposite wall. "Fuckin Lech." Shinji said as he walked away from the man, now completely unconcerned with his health.
Shinji sat down at his desk and immediately started to sleep, bored now that he had beaten his sensei silent. The rest of the class looked from teacher to student wondering what they were supposed to do now.
"Should we…?" Mumbled a sophomore, sounding sincerely concerned.
"Nah." Answered a bald man, sitting in the back of the class. "Leave 'im be."
"But Ikkaku-san…" questioned another of the students. "What if he's hurt…"
Ikkaku snorted. "Ha! Hirako over there likes the Old Man way too much to kill him." He dodged a razor sharp piece of paper from the briefly awake Shinji. It stuck in the wall directly behind the center of his forehead. The students ignored it as a normal occurrence. "Too slow!" He stuck his tongue at the sleeping boy. "Plus, if he's hurt, good. Deserves it."
The people in the class rolled it over in their minds before agreeing that their sarcastic, cryptic teacher did deserve to get his ass kicked every once in awhile. There was a knock on the door and it was opened slowly by a man with shoulder length silky black hair and a beautiful appearance. He peaked inside and saw the bald man in the corner and smiled. He then looked to the older man passed out in the back of the room and grinned widely. "Was it Hirako?" He avoided the pencil that was sent towards his eye from the blond who was then asleep once more.
"Your reflexes are getting better Asyegawa." Ikkaku said grinning. "He would have hit you last month."
The beautiful man flipped his hair. "I do practice, Ikkaku." He said with a pout. Then he smiled. "Anyway, they need you in the main office." Ikkaku grinned and stood. Yumichika set the pass on Urahara's desk and walked out of the room with Ikkaku.
Once they were out of the room Ikkaku had Yumichika pinned to the wall and his mouth pushing hotly against his. Yumichika struggled slightly against Ikkaku's hold but gave in when Ikkaku ground his hips into his. Yumichika separated their mouths by moving his head to the side just long enough to get out, "Madarame" huskily against Ikkaku's skin before it broke off into a quiet moan as Ikkaku bit down the exposed flesh of his pale neck. "Madarame, stop, please." He whispered out.
Ikkaku shook his head no as he continued to suck down his boyfriend's neck. "Ikkaku," Yumichika panted out. "Before we get caught, stop." Ikkaku groaned unhappily before pulling away from him. "And they actually need you in the office this time," Yumichika said straightening his outfit.
Ikkaku groaned again. "What for?" He sighed. "I figured Oderschvank just wrote you a pass to get me out of class again."
They started walking toward the office together. "No, Neliel-sama told me I couldn't take you out of Urahara-Sensei's class until next month."
Ikkaku snorted. "That's stupid."
"No it is not. You need to learn what he's teaching, it's important." Ikkaku shook his head and smiled at his boyfriend of three years, who was lecturing him as per usual. He stopped and turned to him. Yumichika looked at him confused. He picked up one hand and ran it through his silky black hair and then leaned down to leave a kiss on the shorter man's lips.
"I'll see you next period." Yumi was left stunned by the gentle gesture as Ikkaku shunpoed away. When he returned from his mind he smiled at his goofy boyfriend, then immediately was pissed as he realized Ikkaku had stopped him so he wouldn't get lectured. He moved jerkily to the window above the practice field.
He could see Kuchiki-senpai and Abarai-san half clothed and going for each others' throats.
"You'll have to do much better than that, Abarai-san." Byakuya said lightly to the flaming red head who charged at him with full force.
"You have no finesse Abarai-san! If you want to win you'll have to use some of the things I taught you!" Soi Fon-sensei, the class' instructor shouted. "And Kuchiki-san, get off the defense! You aren't supposed to be letting him wear himself out. If you don't at least try, I will fail you!"
Renji saw Byakuya's face twitch in annoyance, and his eyes slit over to Soi-Sensei. He took the opportunity to shunpo behind the man and slice his blade upwards across the man's back. He landed a strong hit on his shoulder which caused Byakuya's step to falter. Renji pressed his advantage and slashed across his senpai's back. He shot backwards to avoid the slash directed at his chest. Byakuya was faster though and got in Renji's face. His face was cold, but Renji knew him well enough to know that the slight narrowing of his eyes meant he was pissed. His sword was heading toward Renji's side.
Renji avoided it only to move into the fist aiming for his left kidney. Renji dropped with a keen of pain. Byakuya looked down at him with unsympathetic eyes. Renji's face was a mask of pain but the stubborn man still cracked a pained smirk. "Nice s-shot, Kuchiki-Senpai."
Byakuya, in an unusual move, lent his hand down to the younger student. Renji's face scrunched in confusion, but he took the hand. As soon as he had was standing Byakuya let go of Renji's hand. Renji dusted his legs off, seeing as he was shirtless.
Soi Fon-Sensei sighed before shouting, "Do you guys even pay attention to what I teach in class? It's about stealth and pressing your advantage and catching your enemy off guard and getting his weak spot. You guys are about as stealthy as Jeagerjaques-Sensei!" She passed a hand through her hair angrily. "Renji, B. Byakuya, C. Tch." She turned and the other students that were watching began to tense. She would call the next pair soon. "Maybe use what I taught you and you can have an A." Byakuya glared at Renji and moved in front of him as they walked toward the showers to clean off. Renji rolled his eyes and followed. Soi Fon called out two more names.
"Quit leering at Gingerback-kun, Jiruga-san, you're scaring her." Said a creepy voice across the room. He was facing the board and writing something in almost too pretty script but spoke to them anyway.
"Yeah! Lem'me alone!" Lilnette said to the lanky boy who looked at her like she was food. She stuck her tongue out and turned away in a huff.
"Tch. Stupid whore." Nnoitra muttered under his breath. He was nearly knocked out of his seat as a knife flew into the fabric of the bandana wrapped around his head and covering his left eye. "What the fuck!" He shouted, enraged. It didn't hurt, his eye was no longer there, but it was bullshit.
"Jiruga-san, do calm down." The instructor turned around and smiled his creepy grin, a thin lipped smile that spread from ear to ear. He looked like he was planning something devious.
"Ichimaru-Sensei, I told you you can't stab your students." Lilnette frowned at him.
"I forgot." Ichimaru said innocently. "Now class–" He began, ignoring Nnoitra's outraged screaming and death threats, only to be interrupted by the door opening. Ichimaru moved his gaze to the door, innocent look on his face once more.
The blank faced intruder surveyed the room, eyes landing on Nnoitra, still screaming about being stabbed, Lilnette, painting her toenails on Ichimaru's desk, and Ichimaru, smiling at him like nothing was wrong. His face was emotionless.
"Is there something you need Cifer-Sensei?" Ichimaru asked sweetly.
"You're disrupting my class. Please cease." He shot Nnoitra a glance and his shouting died on his lips.
"Of course." Ichimaru said with a grin. Ulquiorra left as silently as he'd entered and class resumed.
Soon the bell rung and students filled out of their classes, the day now over.
Did you like? R&R please.
If there is a character you didn't see, but wanna see, send me a message and we'll chat about it.
kthxbai. -HS