The monster is me
In the glade the monster was the Grievers. In the Scorch the monster was the cranks. The monster was also W.I.C.K.E.D. There has always been a monster to blame. A monster to fight. A monster without feeling or reason. A monster that could be killed and moved away from. A monster from whom I could protect the friends that I value over my own life. We could move on. Forget.
But what do you do when the monster is you? When the biggest danger to your friends is their loyalty to the cause that can't be saved. There loyalty to you. When you want them to leave you and save themselves or to end it all? What do you do then.
As the flare eats my brain I begin one last ditch effort to save my friends. I entrust Tommy with my last wish. I can't ask Minho, he doesn't know when to give up. I don't trust Brenda or Jorge, I don't know them well enough. Tommy is the only one I can trust to end it.
When they come to see me at the crank palace I think he'll get it over with, but he ignores my wish and leaves without completing the task I entrusted in him.
When I run into him again in Denver, I am furious. How could he betray me like that? How can he keep me alive in this hell? I beg for death but he keeps trying to save me. He doesn't understand that I can't be saved.
When I'm sure that he won't do it, that I'll be a monster forever. Tommy does it. Tommy frees me from my own head.
I am no longer a monster. I am free.
Sorry for that.