I love whom I love
SS/HP slash. Or is it? Well, as much as Severus is concerned, it is. But if you look from the other side, it might not be... But there is romance in the aforementioned couple. And yes, I know what slash is. Flame if you wish to!
AN: This will be written in a rapid pace, since I want to make it a single- chaptered story. If you guys out there like it, I might even revise it and make it better.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Severus Snape was happily –well, as much as Severus Snape can be happy- cleaning up on his desk. He'd just finished grading those blasted papers and thank God Longbottom and Potter had finished last year!
He put his feather in its special place and left for the Headmaster's office. He should tell the old coot that sherbet lemon did not help his mood, even if he sent him a whole box. To think the man was actually considered a genius out of all things!
He went down the corridors in bat-mode –robes fluttering behind him resembling a bat flying, of course- when he saw a strange appearance just turning a corner in front of him.
"Potter, must I remind you that you finished last year?" he snapped.
"Who, me?" he asked, surprised, turning towards Severus with his eyes large as plates.
"Yes, you! Is there any other Potter around?" the Potion Master sarcastically asked. "What are you doing here, besides wasting my time?"
"I had come here because there a lot of death Eaters who want to slay for killing their master" he replied, frowning. "And I want myself alive, thank you"
"Can't the great Harry Potter take care of himself?" Severus said ironically.
"Oh, shut up, Snape, this is getting really old, you know" he replied quickly and with a small roll of his eyes. "If this is all you've got..."
"If you were in school still, I would take all the points from Gryffindor right now" Severus replied, although a bit impressed with Potter's reply. After all, the kid-no, teenager by now- usually wasn't so unimpressed.
"Bet you would" he replied. "After all, what better way to take care of two problems in the same time? Make Gryffindor lose the House Cup and trying to make me lose my temper? But I've got some news for you: it doesn't work anymore. I've grown, Snape"
Yes, Severus could easily see that. Harry was much more calm and collected than usual and he had grown in a handsome young man from that small skinny boy that used to be in school.
"Now, if you don't mind, I'll go find a nice room where to sleep" Potter said and made a small goodbye gesture and walked down the corridors, faster than Severus thought possible.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Potter seemed to walk around the school a lot, doing one thing or another, sometimes going into the Headmaster's office and staying there for long times. Well, at least he stood in his room in the mornings, at least then he wasn't within Severus's eyesight. A blessing he deeply thanked God for.
Well, at least the Man-Who-Killed-You-Know-Who stayed out of his way and spent a lot of time out of his sight. Until one very, very unfortunate night when Dumbledore considered him and Severus should talk about the Dark Lord who died. Hurray! What a way to waste time! Worthy of Dumbledore.
"Well, I'm not pleased either, Snape" the young man said. "So I'll just stay here for a while and pretend you don't exist"
"I'll do just the same, but if you touch any of my things..." Severus warned.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever" Harry said and collapsed on an armchair.
Severus started looking through some potion books but Harry seemed to stare at him for a reason or another. He ignored him for about a half an hour, but then snapped.
"What do you want, Potter?!"
"Nothing, trust me" he replied. "Just wondering..."
"Wondering what, Potter? Are there still any mysteries you haven't solved?"
He seemed to blush. Why on Earth would he blush? Actually, he didn't recall Potter ever blushing because of something Severus asked.
"Actually, yes" he replied, swallowing. "I was wondering how someone could fall in love with you."
"Why? Are you in love with me, Potter?" he asked with a snort.
"Not me, you big bat, Ginny Weasley is" he replied but then snapped his mouth as if he revealed some great secret and blushed again, harder than ever.
"And why, pray, are you blushing, then?" Severus asked with a small smirk.
"I don't know" he replied blushing so much he looked like Weasley's hair. "Haven't you ever blushed for no reason, Snape?"
"I never blush" the Potion Master answered with a sneer. "Have a blushing problem?! You look like a Weasley"
Potter bit his lower lip and Severus knew that if it had been possible, the young man would have blushed even more. So, what, was he in love with Ginny Weasley or with him? Or why on Earth was he blushing like that?!
"I'll go now, maybe I can convince Dumbledore I actually talked to you"
"You do so" Severus replied and let the young man go.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Well, that meeting had been odd. And what had been odder was that once he heard Potter talking to Dumbledore and saying that he hadn't really meant he should go talk to Severus and that it was just a joke. And Dumbledore replied cheerfully that it had been a good idea and that everybody knew Potter was really there and that he, Dumbledore, was acting normal. Oddities, oddities.
And something seemed to happen. He'd seen it a while before, but it was getting more obvious by day: Potter seemed to blush in his presence. Well, him and Ginny Weasley, but she had blushed long before Potter had come back to Hogwarts. The news that she had a crush on him was old... But he was definitely not interested: one: she was a student and two: he was gay. So, she was out of the question, poor girl.
But how about Potter. Well, if he hadn't been Potter, he would do... ok, where did that thought come from?
Severus smirked to himself. From his body that said ten years of no boyfriends was a tad too much, that's where it came from. Well, lucky he was smart enough to control his body. After all, Potter. Idiot Potter whom he knew since he was an even greater idiot and a child. The kid could be his son, although he had grown into a handsome man. Hey, the fact that he was Severus Snape didn't stop him from actually seeing the way people looked, now did it?! And as long as he didn't cross ways with Potter too often, it was ok.
But Dumbledore had a bad sense of humor. He actually sent Potter to Severus to make him a few potions. And stay with him until he made them, to learn how to do it himself. Oh, for crying out loud, the young man knew how to brew them, they were taught at the end of the seventh year! But when he told that to Dumbledore, the Headmaster just shrugged and said that it was quite understandable Potter forgot them.
So, he had to stay with Potter for hours at a row, explaining things he knew he had the year before.
"Potter, were you struck by a memory charm or anything?!" he asked for the millionth time.
"No, Snape, I just forgot. After all, it is potions" he replied, taking a bite out of an apple he had. "Who on Earth learns such things... besides you, of course"
"Draco Malfoy did. So did Granger and so does Weasley" Severus replied.
"Oh, she does?!" Potter asked curiously.
"She does, surprisingly. Maybe because she has that crush you mentioned"
Potter blushed furiously and lowered his head.
"Too bad you didn't have this crush on me in school. Maybe you'd have learnt"
"What?!" Potter asked, his head snapping up.
"I said: "too bad you didn't have this crush on me in school. Maybe you'd have learnt"" Severus answered with a nasty smirk.
"What crush?" Potter tried to deny, his voice shaking a little.
"Oh... this one?" Severus asked with a huge smirk. "Who on Earth would think the famous Man-Who-Defeated-You-Know-Who would fall for a slimy Potion Master?"
"I did not fall for you!" he said with determination, his eyes steely, almost making Severus wonder if he had been wrong. Almost.
"Yes, well, you can deny if you want to..." he said with the same annoying smirk on his face. He loved teasing the guy.
Potter made a step closer to him, standing straight and proud.
"I, Harry Potter, have not fallen in love with you. Do you understand?!" Potter said, this time really making Severus wonder if he had been wrong. After all, maybe he was blushing all the time because he had been his teacher or maybe he found out he, Severus, was gay or something of the sort.
"Whatever" he said, trying to hold his stand. "So, do you want to learn how to brew this or not?"
"Yes" Potter replied and went back to the cauldron.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
So, he had been wrong about Potter's crush on him. Not that he was sorry or anything. After all, he could choose somebody better than Potter, couldn't he?
Well, it seemed now that Potter avoided him more and more. Maybe he'd figured out he was gay. It was one of those satisfying moments when a part of him drove annoying people away.
And after a while, Ginny Weasley avoided him as well. Life was getting weird... Ah, wait, no, he'd given the whole Gryffindor seventh year class an extra-hard homework because of her and now she avoided him and the others avoided her.
What was funny was that a Slytherin fifth year girl had a crush on him, too. What was this, crush on the Potion Master year?! Ah, well, at least se was shy enough to get away from his path.
And again came a night when Potter had to brew potions, this time under his surveillance, not with Severus brewing them. At least it was an improvement. He waited for him to finish the first part of the potion and then told him to sit down and wait for at least half an hour for it to cool off.
"So, what do I do in the meantime?" he asked.
"That's your problem, Potter" Severus replied, sticking his nose into a book.
Potter seamed to think something over for a minute and then asked directly, which was uncharacteristic for him:
"You like men, don't you?"
Severus's head raised from the book as he asked:
"I thought you knew that?"
"Actually, no, I wasn't quite sure" the younger man said, Severus seeing something close to sadness on his face.
Come to think of it, Potter wasn't exactly like he had been last year. He was somewhat more intelligent and Slytherin-like. Also a bit less the idiot he used to be. He had changed and Severus could see it. Well, he knew that people thought about him as a man who held grudges forever and who couldn't see any difference in people if they radically changed, but they also thought he had never had a lover, now didn't they? Actually, he was a good judge of character and he could see the overgrown ego of James Potter when others praised him, he could see that Harry Potter sometimes needed a good shake and a few slaps across the face from time to time. Plus, it wasn't a good idea to praise him for something he hadn't done. And he had hated him because he was the son of his father and a Gryffindor that jumped face- forward into crazy situations all the time and it was wonderful to tease him and humiliate him because he didn't know how to fight back.
But now, he replied with great wit to his insults, knowing he wouldn't be punished, he was much more serious and powerful. Well, if he hadn't been the person he'd teased for so many years in a row, he'd probably try something. Well, maybe it would scare the kid to hell and back. Not that he was a kid anymore, but he'd tortured him for years... And scaring people was so much fun and getting him expelled would have been so pleasing. But, alas, the time to scare him seemed to be over, since he wasn't as frightened as he had been before and much less full of hate towards him. Now, what would be the pleasure in attacking someone who wasn't affected by it?
"And the reason why you're asking is that..." Severus said, waiting for him to complete.
Sad eyes looked into his and Potter gave a small smile.
"Just a curiosity"
Severus started pretending he was reading the book again, instead losing himself in his own thoughts when the other spoke up again.
"So, do you have someone?"
"Listen, Potter, if you don't have a crush on me, why the hell do you ask?" the Potion Master replied with a question.
"Maybe I do have a crush on you" came the ironic answer. "But I guess we'll never know, now will we?"
"And why not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because you're not interested and I wouldn't hit on you, don't worry"
Severus's lips curled up a little.
"What if it were the other way around? What if I would 'hit' on you?" Hmmm... Well, finding out never killed anyone, now did it? And after all, Potter had changed. Maybe that was why he, Severus had been so completely against Potter for so long: maybe he felt he was somehow close to the kid and then young man. And since the guy had been an idiot for so long, it was the last thing he wanted.
"Oh, riiiiight, Severus Snape, actually trying to hit on somebody. I see the day" he said with a small laugh.
"What? I'm not exactly how I seem to be" he replied.
"Nooo, of course not" Potter replied sarcastically.
Well, he wasn't! If Potter didn't believe it, it was his problem. But he was somewhat... friendly with McGonagall and Dumbledore. Now, Longbottom, Black, Lupin and the Potters in general were exceptions: Longbottom was a complete idiot when it came to potions, plus a general disaster in about everything, Black had been a completely childish idiot with unhealthy obsessions, Lupin was a werewolf that nearly killed him and the Potters had been quite egocentric. And he knew everybody just loved the Boy-Who-Lived and the competition between the two of them had been huge, Potter trying to prove he, Severus was the bad guy in the story and he, Severus, trying to show Potter wasn't the saint everybody thought he was. And the general nastiness... Well, he was a Slytherin, wasn't he?
And as a Slytherin, he now had to prove Potter wrong. Not that he was sorry, as noted before, Potter had changed a lot. He put down his book, got up and circled the desk and ended up in front of Potter.
"What are you doing, Snape?" he asked, voice shaking a little.
"Testing a theory" he replied and grabbed him into his arms before he could reply and kissed him on the lips.
Well, theory proven. Potter did have a crush on him. And he gave in to him in a soft manner he hadn't quite felt before at any of his exes, except a girl once in his past.
"Holly shit..." Potter whispered when they broke apart. "You really are weird"
"Mhm" came the reply.
Potter backed up a few steps and took out a thermos, took off its cap and drank.
"What the hell is that, Potter?" Severus asked.
"Pumpkin juice. I wouldn't trust anything you gave me to drink" he replied quickly.
"You remind me of Moody..." the Potion Master said. "So, it seems like you really have a crush on me, Potter"
"It does seem like it, doesn't it?" he replied with a small nod.
Severus chuckled and went back to his book.
"What're you doing?" Potter asked, confused.
"Going back to my lecture, isn't it obvious? I found out what I wanted to know"
"Oh, no you don't" he replied and went back to Severus and kissed him.
"Hey, gerroff!" the Potion Master said. "What, do you think I return your feelings?"
"Yeah, I figured you go around kissing people you despise" Potter replied.
"What makes you think you're worthy of me despising you?"
"Ah, so you don't. Hate me, perhaps?"
"...Hate is a strong word"
"So, you don't despise or hate me... I can deal with any other feelings, no problem" Potter said.
"Well, what do you know, you're really ready to fight for me" Severus sarcastically said.
Ah, decisions, decisions... accept the man into his life or push him away saying he was just toying with him. But unfortunately, he realized in about a second he had already taken that decision. Darn, no way back. Well, there would have been a way back if Potter hadn't been quite as attractive as he was today. And in fact, why the hell not? He'd been in no-feeling relationships before, especially before Potter came to Hogwarts. Then, the whole 'Dark Lord back' thing prevented him from getting into any kind of a relationship.
"You understand I'm not in love with you, don't you?" he asked.
"Yeah, I got the point. I don't really care" Potter replied.
"My, my, is that the lust speaking in you?"
"Perhaps" he answered, jumping for his lips.
They kissed and touched each other for a while before Severus stopped it, pointing out the fact that a potion had to be brewed and that Dumbledore would ask of it. Pot- Harry had complained, but he'd finished it and then went to bed –to Severus's disappointment, Harry's own bed-.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
So, they were unofficially together. They'd both be damned if they made it official. Ginny Weasley and the Slytherin girl were stalking him down the corridors, but neither of them knew that Potter visited his office not for potions, but kissing –and again, to Severus's disappointment, not shagging. He just wouldn't let the elder man do more than that-.
One day, Harry hugged him tightly when they were in the doorway and Severus knew Ginny Weasley had been out that night, but couldn't punish her because he only deduced it out of the upset looks she sent him the next few days. Harry also complained about her and Severus suggested that they should be extra careful since they couldn't have anyone knowing... Now, imagine the scandal!
And finally, after about three weeks together, they ended up in bed together. It took a lot of persuading from Severus, of course, but the younger man couldn't resist forever, now could he?
It was then that Harry Potter visited the Potion Master's bedroom first and he had looked surprised –as surprised as he could be at the certain time, of course, considering he wasn't exactly cool-minded at the moment- seeing the black, silver and green colors it was decorated in. The elder man pushed him on the black-covered bed and kissed him lustfully, undressing him at the same time, feeling his body shiver under the touch.
At the right time, Severus went to bring some lubricating potions and when he came back, he found Harry staring at him full of lust.
He let himself fall near the young man and was surprised to see how easily he accepted Severus as the... dominant one.
"You've done this before" he said in amusement.
"Um, yeah" Harry replied, mouth dry.
"When?"
"First time, sixth year" Harry said. "Please, don't ask"
Severus smirked and didn't ask. Instead, he put the lubricating potion into good use.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Well, they had a good relationship and Severus was starting to fall in love with Harry. Ah, how the other was acting, how good he felt... Severus was starting to become tender, always a bad sign! Dumbledore didn't suspect anything, Potter had learnt how to brew the potions and was brewing them in the mornings and visiting Severus during the night.
All seemed to be going well, until one day. Harry was a bit late for their meeting and when he came in the office, he didn't even say an 'I'm sorry'. Instead, he went to Severus's desk and threw on it carelessly a small package.
"Dumbledore said you should get this" Harry said and Severus watched him from in front of him, near the desk, where he was.
"You're late" he said, in a small purr.
"Sorry 'bout that. I can't stay here, anyway" he replied coldly and Severus made two steps towards him.
"Why are you upset?" he asked.
"What do you care, Snape?" Harry asked. "And I'm not upset, just a bit tired"
Severus took him into his arms and kissed him tenderly but instead of the other giving in, as he was accustomed to feel, he felt Harry jerk into his arms and giving a small cry.
"Are you out of your mind, Snape?!" he cried after a second.
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Why do you think I'm acting like this?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow. "We were together, remember?"
"Are you really out of your mind? I'm fucking STRAIGHT! And I'm going out with LUNA LOVEGOOD!" Harry cried before he got panic struck and said. "Oh, shit, the memory charm..." he mumbled, turning very, very red. "You... Sorry, Sev... I feel like an idiot... Somebody hit me with a memory charm... Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry..."
"Harry?" Severus said, concerned. "What memory charm?"
"I was um... with Ron and he wasn't... pleased... with... with um... us! And he... he struck me with a memory charm" Harry said, turning very red. "But it was a weak one. Weak, weak one. I remember now. Ugh, I'll go yell at him for a while. Sorry, Sev"
"Want me to come with you?" Severus asked, knowing the answer to that one.
"No, no, thanks, this is between me and Ron. I think he was just shocked, we were rowing, he took out his wand and wiped out my memories with you."
Severus looked at him concerned. He felt a lot like the old Harry Potter he knew and that was not a pleasing thought. Maybe it was because of this supposed memory charm. But would Weasley actually do that to his best friend. Well, he had always been temperamental. But he should let him go now and check out everything later.
"Send him a fist from me" Severus joked and watched as his lover exited the room, all the time his fine senses working over time.
So, something was definitely wrong with his Harry, he just didn't know what... Why had he acted so strange? Surely, memories didn't just erupt like that and Weasley was a good Auror, he would know how to cast a good memory charm... Oh, no, he had to be extra careful with him. Even if he would act the same as usual.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
The next day, Harry came in Severus's office at sunset.
"Hello" he said shyly.
"Hello" Severus replied with a fake smile that would look real to Harry. Well, he seemed normal now.
"I... I have a confession to make" Harry said.
"Go ahead" Severus encouraged him.
"Remember what I said... that Death Eaters were trying to kill me?"
"Yes, I remember that part" Severus replied raising an eyebrow.
"Wow... Well, it was Dumbledore's idea for me to be at Hogwarts and... heh, guess what... not to be here"
"What are you saying?" the Potion Master asked.
"I... um... I... I'm kind of a... See, I... Harry..."
"Speak up"
"Well, you see, it was Dumbledore's idea for someone to act like Harry Potter and be here while he was safe in Ronald Weasley's home" he said quickly.
Severus just stared at him dumbstruck.
"You're not Harry Potter" he said simply.
"Actually, no, I'm not" he said with an 'oh-my-God-you'll-shoot-me-because- I'm-an-idiot-please-forgive-me' smile.
"Who are you?" Severus asked.
"How funny of you to ask me that!" he said with a nervous chuckle. "You see... I'm... I was recruited by Dumbledore to do this because I knew Harry... and because I still learn here and it's easy for me to pretend I'm Harry from time to time... heh"
"Who are you?" Severus threatened.
"The Polyjuice will wear off shortly because I've spent almost an hour pacing in front of your door, Severus" he replied. "But I should warn you... I'm not exactly what you would call... a man"
"Who are you?" Severus asked threateningly.
"I'm... I'm... Ginny... Ginny Weasley" the person Severus had called before Harry stuttered.
"What?" Severus said dumbstruck. "Weasley? Can you prove it?"
"The Polyjuice will wear off soon" she said. "I... I'm sorry, Severus..."
"Why are you telling me this?" Severus asked.
"Because... Ah, well... You see, the other day Harry came here and then he came to me and yelled at me for half an hour about using him... or his body. And anyway, he's out of hiding now, they caught the majority of the Death Eaters"
"How could you hide like this?"
"Well, the idea came from Barty Crouch jr., actually" she replied. "All I did was carry around the Polyjuice and drink it... Hermione made it. It was very painful, but guess it was worth it"
"You lied to me" Severus said in a very dark tone.
"I... I love you... and you're gay... and then, you kissed me... what could I say, Severus?"
"Don't you dare call me Severus again!" he nearly cried.
"Please, sir?" Ginny-Harry said. "Please, forgive me... Dumbledore said..."
"Dumbledore should have told me of this plan!" Severus snapped.
"Well, he didn't tell anyone, nobody knew except me, him, Harry, of course and Ron..."
"I don't care" Severus said. "And you, how dare you?!"
"But tell me, would you have even looked at me if I remained just Ginny. I know you wouldn't have..."
"I don't care" Severus said through clenched teeth. "Two hundred points..."
"No, you don't!" she cried. "You can't take points, Sev... Snape, sir"
"Oh, I can and I will" he said in a very dark fashion.
"Please, if you do, you'll have to reveal why and you won't be able to say it... will you?" she pleaded and Severus had to admit, although he hated it, that she had a point.
He looked at her, wanting to tell her to get the hell out of his office when she noticed the black hair Harry had transformed into red one and the young man transformed into a beautiful seventeen year-old woman.
"I can't believe you actually let me sleep with you as Harry" he whispered.
"Please, Severus" she said slowly. "Forgive me... all I told you about myself, my feelings, all the thoughts... they were mine! I even started acting less like Harry and more like myself, you know..."
"Get out" Severus said. "Out!"
"But Severus!" she pleaded.
"OUT!" he boomed.
Ginny paled and ran out the door, swallowing her tears.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Two weeks had passed. Ginny avoided him. He avoided Ginny. He snapped at Harry, having to remind himself all the time he wasn't or had ever been his lover. The Slytherin kid was oblivious to it all. Harry was praised. Ginny was miserable. Severus missed his lover.
But the Potion Master had come to a few conclusions: he would probably spend a lot of his life alone. He would ignore Ginny Weasley at all costs and her brother, too, even if he tried to act like before. He wouldn't get easily over this great treachery.
He also decided that next time he wanted to have a lover, he wouldn't allow him to drink anything that didn't come from him and would make sure that would happen for more than an hour.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
After three more weeks, he noticed that Ginny Weasley was indeed acting like his Harry, just that she was more feminine and much less witty with him.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
In one more week, he decided to put her into detention and see if she was his Harry indeed or if it had all been an act.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
One more week and middle May: Ginny had been into detention and had acted just the same as his Harry would have, if he had been female, of course.
He realized that Ginny was indeed the one he loved.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
End of May.
Severus invited Ginny over to apologize for what he had said... And to his surprise, she had come.
"So, you really are the one I liked" Severus muttered after about an hour of talking.
"Yeah... too bad you're gay" Ginny said, a bit drunk because of the cognac he had served her with in order to get her drunk enough to speak her mind not caring about the consequences. After all, why use potions when you could get the same results with a bit of alcohol?
"I might not be" he replied. "I might be bi"
"Hey, that'd be great!" she said. "What'd you put in this, anyway?"
"Alcohol and I disguised the taste" Severus replied.
"Tryin' to get me drunk, huh?" she asked. "Whoa, I think I'm losing my balance here"
"You're sitting" Severus pointed out.
"Yeah, but still. I wouldn't dare go to my bedroom tonight. I'd fall down the stairs"
Severus looked at her and took a sip out of some non-alcoholic drink. He didn't really want to get like her that night. He'd spent a week thinking about it. What if he went out with her? He had liked Harry, maybe he had even started to love him... And she was that Harry. Yes, a try would be worth it.
"Spend the night with me" he suggested.
"I'm drunk, but not that drunk" she answered.
"I have something Muggles don't have" Severus replied. "A potion that takes alcohol out of your body. If I give it to you, would you spend the night with me?"
Ginny thought about it for a minute.
"Yeah... I guess I was pretty nasty then, huh? You had all the right to be mad"
"Mhm" Severus agreed and went to get the potion.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
So, he was going out with a woman. And a nasty Slytherin-like one. How did he end up in this mess?
But there was something he said to himself and later to others who found out about the story:
"I love whom I love and she's the one for me, so will you all shut up?!"
/*-/*-/*-/*-
AN: Well? Review and tell me what you think! That's a must!
SS/HP slash. Or is it? Well, as much as Severus is concerned, it is. But if you look from the other side, it might not be... But there is romance in the aforementioned couple. And yes, I know what slash is. Flame if you wish to!
AN: This will be written in a rapid pace, since I want to make it a single- chaptered story. If you guys out there like it, I might even revise it and make it better.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Severus Snape was happily –well, as much as Severus Snape can be happy- cleaning up on his desk. He'd just finished grading those blasted papers and thank God Longbottom and Potter had finished last year!
He put his feather in its special place and left for the Headmaster's office. He should tell the old coot that sherbet lemon did not help his mood, even if he sent him a whole box. To think the man was actually considered a genius out of all things!
He went down the corridors in bat-mode –robes fluttering behind him resembling a bat flying, of course- when he saw a strange appearance just turning a corner in front of him.
"Potter, must I remind you that you finished last year?" he snapped.
"Who, me?" he asked, surprised, turning towards Severus with his eyes large as plates.
"Yes, you! Is there any other Potter around?" the Potion Master sarcastically asked. "What are you doing here, besides wasting my time?"
"I had come here because there a lot of death Eaters who want to slay for killing their master" he replied, frowning. "And I want myself alive, thank you"
"Can't the great Harry Potter take care of himself?" Severus said ironically.
"Oh, shut up, Snape, this is getting really old, you know" he replied quickly and with a small roll of his eyes. "If this is all you've got..."
"If you were in school still, I would take all the points from Gryffindor right now" Severus replied, although a bit impressed with Potter's reply. After all, the kid-no, teenager by now- usually wasn't so unimpressed.
"Bet you would" he replied. "After all, what better way to take care of two problems in the same time? Make Gryffindor lose the House Cup and trying to make me lose my temper? But I've got some news for you: it doesn't work anymore. I've grown, Snape"
Yes, Severus could easily see that. Harry was much more calm and collected than usual and he had grown in a handsome young man from that small skinny boy that used to be in school.
"Now, if you don't mind, I'll go find a nice room where to sleep" Potter said and made a small goodbye gesture and walked down the corridors, faster than Severus thought possible.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Potter seemed to walk around the school a lot, doing one thing or another, sometimes going into the Headmaster's office and staying there for long times. Well, at least he stood in his room in the mornings, at least then he wasn't within Severus's eyesight. A blessing he deeply thanked God for.
Well, at least the Man-Who-Killed-You-Know-Who stayed out of his way and spent a lot of time out of his sight. Until one very, very unfortunate night when Dumbledore considered him and Severus should talk about the Dark Lord who died. Hurray! What a way to waste time! Worthy of Dumbledore.
"Well, I'm not pleased either, Snape" the young man said. "So I'll just stay here for a while and pretend you don't exist"
"I'll do just the same, but if you touch any of my things..." Severus warned.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever" Harry said and collapsed on an armchair.
Severus started looking through some potion books but Harry seemed to stare at him for a reason or another. He ignored him for about a half an hour, but then snapped.
"What do you want, Potter?!"
"Nothing, trust me" he replied. "Just wondering..."
"Wondering what, Potter? Are there still any mysteries you haven't solved?"
He seemed to blush. Why on Earth would he blush? Actually, he didn't recall Potter ever blushing because of something Severus asked.
"Actually, yes" he replied, swallowing. "I was wondering how someone could fall in love with you."
"Why? Are you in love with me, Potter?" he asked with a snort.
"Not me, you big bat, Ginny Weasley is" he replied but then snapped his mouth as if he revealed some great secret and blushed again, harder than ever.
"And why, pray, are you blushing, then?" Severus asked with a small smirk.
"I don't know" he replied blushing so much he looked like Weasley's hair. "Haven't you ever blushed for no reason, Snape?"
"I never blush" the Potion Master answered with a sneer. "Have a blushing problem?! You look like a Weasley"
Potter bit his lower lip and Severus knew that if it had been possible, the young man would have blushed even more. So, what, was he in love with Ginny Weasley or with him? Or why on Earth was he blushing like that?!
"I'll go now, maybe I can convince Dumbledore I actually talked to you"
"You do so" Severus replied and let the young man go.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Well, that meeting had been odd. And what had been odder was that once he heard Potter talking to Dumbledore and saying that he hadn't really meant he should go talk to Severus and that it was just a joke. And Dumbledore replied cheerfully that it had been a good idea and that everybody knew Potter was really there and that he, Dumbledore, was acting normal. Oddities, oddities.
And something seemed to happen. He'd seen it a while before, but it was getting more obvious by day: Potter seemed to blush in his presence. Well, him and Ginny Weasley, but she had blushed long before Potter had come back to Hogwarts. The news that she had a crush on him was old... But he was definitely not interested: one: she was a student and two: he was gay. So, she was out of the question, poor girl.
But how about Potter. Well, if he hadn't been Potter, he would do... ok, where did that thought come from?
Severus smirked to himself. From his body that said ten years of no boyfriends was a tad too much, that's where it came from. Well, lucky he was smart enough to control his body. After all, Potter. Idiot Potter whom he knew since he was an even greater idiot and a child. The kid could be his son, although he had grown into a handsome man. Hey, the fact that he was Severus Snape didn't stop him from actually seeing the way people looked, now did it?! And as long as he didn't cross ways with Potter too often, it was ok.
But Dumbledore had a bad sense of humor. He actually sent Potter to Severus to make him a few potions. And stay with him until he made them, to learn how to do it himself. Oh, for crying out loud, the young man knew how to brew them, they were taught at the end of the seventh year! But when he told that to Dumbledore, the Headmaster just shrugged and said that it was quite understandable Potter forgot them.
So, he had to stay with Potter for hours at a row, explaining things he knew he had the year before.
"Potter, were you struck by a memory charm or anything?!" he asked for the millionth time.
"No, Snape, I just forgot. After all, it is potions" he replied, taking a bite out of an apple he had. "Who on Earth learns such things... besides you, of course"
"Draco Malfoy did. So did Granger and so does Weasley" Severus replied.
"Oh, she does?!" Potter asked curiously.
"She does, surprisingly. Maybe because she has that crush you mentioned"
Potter blushed furiously and lowered his head.
"Too bad you didn't have this crush on me in school. Maybe you'd have learnt"
"What?!" Potter asked, his head snapping up.
"I said: "too bad you didn't have this crush on me in school. Maybe you'd have learnt"" Severus answered with a nasty smirk.
"What crush?" Potter tried to deny, his voice shaking a little.
"Oh... this one?" Severus asked with a huge smirk. "Who on Earth would think the famous Man-Who-Defeated-You-Know-Who would fall for a slimy Potion Master?"
"I did not fall for you!" he said with determination, his eyes steely, almost making Severus wonder if he had been wrong. Almost.
"Yes, well, you can deny if you want to..." he said with the same annoying smirk on his face. He loved teasing the guy.
Potter made a step closer to him, standing straight and proud.
"I, Harry Potter, have not fallen in love with you. Do you understand?!" Potter said, this time really making Severus wonder if he had been wrong. After all, maybe he was blushing all the time because he had been his teacher or maybe he found out he, Severus, was gay or something of the sort.
"Whatever" he said, trying to hold his stand. "So, do you want to learn how to brew this or not?"
"Yes" Potter replied and went back to the cauldron.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
So, he had been wrong about Potter's crush on him. Not that he was sorry or anything. After all, he could choose somebody better than Potter, couldn't he?
Well, it seemed now that Potter avoided him more and more. Maybe he'd figured out he was gay. It was one of those satisfying moments when a part of him drove annoying people away.
And after a while, Ginny Weasley avoided him as well. Life was getting weird... Ah, wait, no, he'd given the whole Gryffindor seventh year class an extra-hard homework because of her and now she avoided him and the others avoided her.
What was funny was that a Slytherin fifth year girl had a crush on him, too. What was this, crush on the Potion Master year?! Ah, well, at least se was shy enough to get away from his path.
And again came a night when Potter had to brew potions, this time under his surveillance, not with Severus brewing them. At least it was an improvement. He waited for him to finish the first part of the potion and then told him to sit down and wait for at least half an hour for it to cool off.
"So, what do I do in the meantime?" he asked.
"That's your problem, Potter" Severus replied, sticking his nose into a book.
Potter seamed to think something over for a minute and then asked directly, which was uncharacteristic for him:
"You like men, don't you?"
Severus's head raised from the book as he asked:
"I thought you knew that?"
"Actually, no, I wasn't quite sure" the younger man said, Severus seeing something close to sadness on his face.
Come to think of it, Potter wasn't exactly like he had been last year. He was somewhat more intelligent and Slytherin-like. Also a bit less the idiot he used to be. He had changed and Severus could see it. Well, he knew that people thought about him as a man who held grudges forever and who couldn't see any difference in people if they radically changed, but they also thought he had never had a lover, now didn't they? Actually, he was a good judge of character and he could see the overgrown ego of James Potter when others praised him, he could see that Harry Potter sometimes needed a good shake and a few slaps across the face from time to time. Plus, it wasn't a good idea to praise him for something he hadn't done. And he had hated him because he was the son of his father and a Gryffindor that jumped face- forward into crazy situations all the time and it was wonderful to tease him and humiliate him because he didn't know how to fight back.
But now, he replied with great wit to his insults, knowing he wouldn't be punished, he was much more serious and powerful. Well, if he hadn't been the person he'd teased for so many years in a row, he'd probably try something. Well, maybe it would scare the kid to hell and back. Not that he was a kid anymore, but he'd tortured him for years... And scaring people was so much fun and getting him expelled would have been so pleasing. But, alas, the time to scare him seemed to be over, since he wasn't as frightened as he had been before and much less full of hate towards him. Now, what would be the pleasure in attacking someone who wasn't affected by it?
"And the reason why you're asking is that..." Severus said, waiting for him to complete.
Sad eyes looked into his and Potter gave a small smile.
"Just a curiosity"
Severus started pretending he was reading the book again, instead losing himself in his own thoughts when the other spoke up again.
"So, do you have someone?"
"Listen, Potter, if you don't have a crush on me, why the hell do you ask?" the Potion Master replied with a question.
"Maybe I do have a crush on you" came the ironic answer. "But I guess we'll never know, now will we?"
"And why not?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.
"Because you're not interested and I wouldn't hit on you, don't worry"
Severus's lips curled up a little.
"What if it were the other way around? What if I would 'hit' on you?" Hmmm... Well, finding out never killed anyone, now did it? And after all, Potter had changed. Maybe that was why he, Severus had been so completely against Potter for so long: maybe he felt he was somehow close to the kid and then young man. And since the guy had been an idiot for so long, it was the last thing he wanted.
"Oh, riiiiight, Severus Snape, actually trying to hit on somebody. I see the day" he said with a small laugh.
"What? I'm not exactly how I seem to be" he replied.
"Nooo, of course not" Potter replied sarcastically.
Well, he wasn't! If Potter didn't believe it, it was his problem. But he was somewhat... friendly with McGonagall and Dumbledore. Now, Longbottom, Black, Lupin and the Potters in general were exceptions: Longbottom was a complete idiot when it came to potions, plus a general disaster in about everything, Black had been a completely childish idiot with unhealthy obsessions, Lupin was a werewolf that nearly killed him and the Potters had been quite egocentric. And he knew everybody just loved the Boy-Who-Lived and the competition between the two of them had been huge, Potter trying to prove he, Severus was the bad guy in the story and he, Severus, trying to show Potter wasn't the saint everybody thought he was. And the general nastiness... Well, he was a Slytherin, wasn't he?
And as a Slytherin, he now had to prove Potter wrong. Not that he was sorry, as noted before, Potter had changed a lot. He put down his book, got up and circled the desk and ended up in front of Potter.
"What are you doing, Snape?" he asked, voice shaking a little.
"Testing a theory" he replied and grabbed him into his arms before he could reply and kissed him on the lips.
Well, theory proven. Potter did have a crush on him. And he gave in to him in a soft manner he hadn't quite felt before at any of his exes, except a girl once in his past.
"Holly shit..." Potter whispered when they broke apart. "You really are weird"
"Mhm" came the reply.
Potter backed up a few steps and took out a thermos, took off its cap and drank.
"What the hell is that, Potter?" Severus asked.
"Pumpkin juice. I wouldn't trust anything you gave me to drink" he replied quickly.
"You remind me of Moody..." the Potion Master said. "So, it seems like you really have a crush on me, Potter"
"It does seem like it, doesn't it?" he replied with a small nod.
Severus chuckled and went back to his book.
"What're you doing?" Potter asked, confused.
"Going back to my lecture, isn't it obvious? I found out what I wanted to know"
"Oh, no you don't" he replied and went back to Severus and kissed him.
"Hey, gerroff!" the Potion Master said. "What, do you think I return your feelings?"
"Yeah, I figured you go around kissing people you despise" Potter replied.
"What makes you think you're worthy of me despising you?"
"Ah, so you don't. Hate me, perhaps?"
"...Hate is a strong word"
"So, you don't despise or hate me... I can deal with any other feelings, no problem" Potter said.
"Well, what do you know, you're really ready to fight for me" Severus sarcastically said.
Ah, decisions, decisions... accept the man into his life or push him away saying he was just toying with him. But unfortunately, he realized in about a second he had already taken that decision. Darn, no way back. Well, there would have been a way back if Potter hadn't been quite as attractive as he was today. And in fact, why the hell not? He'd been in no-feeling relationships before, especially before Potter came to Hogwarts. Then, the whole 'Dark Lord back' thing prevented him from getting into any kind of a relationship.
"You understand I'm not in love with you, don't you?" he asked.
"Yeah, I got the point. I don't really care" Potter replied.
"My, my, is that the lust speaking in you?"
"Perhaps" he answered, jumping for his lips.
They kissed and touched each other for a while before Severus stopped it, pointing out the fact that a potion had to be brewed and that Dumbledore would ask of it. Pot- Harry had complained, but he'd finished it and then went to bed –to Severus's disappointment, Harry's own bed-.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
So, they were unofficially together. They'd both be damned if they made it official. Ginny Weasley and the Slytherin girl were stalking him down the corridors, but neither of them knew that Potter visited his office not for potions, but kissing –and again, to Severus's disappointment, not shagging. He just wouldn't let the elder man do more than that-.
One day, Harry hugged him tightly when they were in the doorway and Severus knew Ginny Weasley had been out that night, but couldn't punish her because he only deduced it out of the upset looks she sent him the next few days. Harry also complained about her and Severus suggested that they should be extra careful since they couldn't have anyone knowing... Now, imagine the scandal!
And finally, after about three weeks together, they ended up in bed together. It took a lot of persuading from Severus, of course, but the younger man couldn't resist forever, now could he?
It was then that Harry Potter visited the Potion Master's bedroom first and he had looked surprised –as surprised as he could be at the certain time, of course, considering he wasn't exactly cool-minded at the moment- seeing the black, silver and green colors it was decorated in. The elder man pushed him on the black-covered bed and kissed him lustfully, undressing him at the same time, feeling his body shiver under the touch.
At the right time, Severus went to bring some lubricating potions and when he came back, he found Harry staring at him full of lust.
He let himself fall near the young man and was surprised to see how easily he accepted Severus as the... dominant one.
"You've done this before" he said in amusement.
"Um, yeah" Harry replied, mouth dry.
"When?"
"First time, sixth year" Harry said. "Please, don't ask"
Severus smirked and didn't ask. Instead, he put the lubricating potion into good use.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Well, they had a good relationship and Severus was starting to fall in love with Harry. Ah, how the other was acting, how good he felt... Severus was starting to become tender, always a bad sign! Dumbledore didn't suspect anything, Potter had learnt how to brew the potions and was brewing them in the mornings and visiting Severus during the night.
All seemed to be going well, until one day. Harry was a bit late for their meeting and when he came in the office, he didn't even say an 'I'm sorry'. Instead, he went to Severus's desk and threw on it carelessly a small package.
"Dumbledore said you should get this" Harry said and Severus watched him from in front of him, near the desk, where he was.
"You're late" he said, in a small purr.
"Sorry 'bout that. I can't stay here, anyway" he replied coldly and Severus made two steps towards him.
"Why are you upset?" he asked.
"What do you care, Snape?" Harry asked. "And I'm not upset, just a bit tired"
Severus took him into his arms and kissed him tenderly but instead of the other giving in, as he was accustomed to feel, he felt Harry jerk into his arms and giving a small cry.
"Are you out of your mind, Snape?!" he cried after a second.
"Why are you acting like this?"
"Why do you think I'm acting like this?" Severus asked, raising an eyebrow. "We were together, remember?"
"Are you really out of your mind? I'm fucking STRAIGHT! And I'm going out with LUNA LOVEGOOD!" Harry cried before he got panic struck and said. "Oh, shit, the memory charm..." he mumbled, turning very, very red. "You... Sorry, Sev... I feel like an idiot... Somebody hit me with a memory charm... Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry..."
"Harry?" Severus said, concerned. "What memory charm?"
"I was um... with Ron and he wasn't... pleased... with... with um... us! And he... he struck me with a memory charm" Harry said, turning very red. "But it was a weak one. Weak, weak one. I remember now. Ugh, I'll go yell at him for a while. Sorry, Sev"
"Want me to come with you?" Severus asked, knowing the answer to that one.
"No, no, thanks, this is between me and Ron. I think he was just shocked, we were rowing, he took out his wand and wiped out my memories with you."
Severus looked at him concerned. He felt a lot like the old Harry Potter he knew and that was not a pleasing thought. Maybe it was because of this supposed memory charm. But would Weasley actually do that to his best friend. Well, he had always been temperamental. But he should let him go now and check out everything later.
"Send him a fist from me" Severus joked and watched as his lover exited the room, all the time his fine senses working over time.
So, something was definitely wrong with his Harry, he just didn't know what... Why had he acted so strange? Surely, memories didn't just erupt like that and Weasley was a good Auror, he would know how to cast a good memory charm... Oh, no, he had to be extra careful with him. Even if he would act the same as usual.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
The next day, Harry came in Severus's office at sunset.
"Hello" he said shyly.
"Hello" Severus replied with a fake smile that would look real to Harry. Well, he seemed normal now.
"I... I have a confession to make" Harry said.
"Go ahead" Severus encouraged him.
"Remember what I said... that Death Eaters were trying to kill me?"
"Yes, I remember that part" Severus replied raising an eyebrow.
"Wow... Well, it was Dumbledore's idea for me to be at Hogwarts and... heh, guess what... not to be here"
"What are you saying?" the Potion Master asked.
"I... um... I... I'm kind of a... See, I... Harry..."
"Speak up"
"Well, you see, it was Dumbledore's idea for someone to act like Harry Potter and be here while he was safe in Ronald Weasley's home" he said quickly.
Severus just stared at him dumbstruck.
"You're not Harry Potter" he said simply.
"Actually, no, I'm not" he said with an 'oh-my-God-you'll-shoot-me-because- I'm-an-idiot-please-forgive-me' smile.
"Who are you?" Severus asked.
"How funny of you to ask me that!" he said with a nervous chuckle. "You see... I'm... I was recruited by Dumbledore to do this because I knew Harry... and because I still learn here and it's easy for me to pretend I'm Harry from time to time... heh"
"Who are you?" Severus threatened.
"The Polyjuice will wear off shortly because I've spent almost an hour pacing in front of your door, Severus" he replied. "But I should warn you... I'm not exactly what you would call... a man"
"Who are you?" Severus asked threateningly.
"I'm... I'm... Ginny... Ginny Weasley" the person Severus had called before Harry stuttered.
"What?" Severus said dumbstruck. "Weasley? Can you prove it?"
"The Polyjuice will wear off soon" she said. "I... I'm sorry, Severus..."
"Why are you telling me this?" Severus asked.
"Because... Ah, well... You see, the other day Harry came here and then he came to me and yelled at me for half an hour about using him... or his body. And anyway, he's out of hiding now, they caught the majority of the Death Eaters"
"How could you hide like this?"
"Well, the idea came from Barty Crouch jr., actually" she replied. "All I did was carry around the Polyjuice and drink it... Hermione made it. It was very painful, but guess it was worth it"
"You lied to me" Severus said in a very dark tone.
"I... I love you... and you're gay... and then, you kissed me... what could I say, Severus?"
"Don't you dare call me Severus again!" he nearly cried.
"Please, sir?" Ginny-Harry said. "Please, forgive me... Dumbledore said..."
"Dumbledore should have told me of this plan!" Severus snapped.
"Well, he didn't tell anyone, nobody knew except me, him, Harry, of course and Ron..."
"I don't care" Severus said. "And you, how dare you?!"
"But tell me, would you have even looked at me if I remained just Ginny. I know you wouldn't have..."
"I don't care" Severus said through clenched teeth. "Two hundred points..."
"No, you don't!" she cried. "You can't take points, Sev... Snape, sir"
"Oh, I can and I will" he said in a very dark fashion.
"Please, if you do, you'll have to reveal why and you won't be able to say it... will you?" she pleaded and Severus had to admit, although he hated it, that she had a point.
He looked at her, wanting to tell her to get the hell out of his office when she noticed the black hair Harry had transformed into red one and the young man transformed into a beautiful seventeen year-old woman.
"I can't believe you actually let me sleep with you as Harry" he whispered.
"Please, Severus" she said slowly. "Forgive me... all I told you about myself, my feelings, all the thoughts... they were mine! I even started acting less like Harry and more like myself, you know..."
"Get out" Severus said. "Out!"
"But Severus!" she pleaded.
"OUT!" he boomed.
Ginny paled and ran out the door, swallowing her tears.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
Two weeks had passed. Ginny avoided him. He avoided Ginny. He snapped at Harry, having to remind himself all the time he wasn't or had ever been his lover. The Slytherin kid was oblivious to it all. Harry was praised. Ginny was miserable. Severus missed his lover.
But the Potion Master had come to a few conclusions: he would probably spend a lot of his life alone. He would ignore Ginny Weasley at all costs and her brother, too, even if he tried to act like before. He wouldn't get easily over this great treachery.
He also decided that next time he wanted to have a lover, he wouldn't allow him to drink anything that didn't come from him and would make sure that would happen for more than an hour.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
After three more weeks, he noticed that Ginny Weasley was indeed acting like his Harry, just that she was more feminine and much less witty with him.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
In one more week, he decided to put her into detention and see if she was his Harry indeed or if it had all been an act.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
One more week and middle May: Ginny had been into detention and had acted just the same as his Harry would have, if he had been female, of course.
He realized that Ginny was indeed the one he loved.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
End of May.
Severus invited Ginny over to apologize for what he had said... And to his surprise, she had come.
"So, you really are the one I liked" Severus muttered after about an hour of talking.
"Yeah... too bad you're gay" Ginny said, a bit drunk because of the cognac he had served her with in order to get her drunk enough to speak her mind not caring about the consequences. After all, why use potions when you could get the same results with a bit of alcohol?
"I might not be" he replied. "I might be bi"
"Hey, that'd be great!" she said. "What'd you put in this, anyway?"
"Alcohol and I disguised the taste" Severus replied.
"Tryin' to get me drunk, huh?" she asked. "Whoa, I think I'm losing my balance here"
"You're sitting" Severus pointed out.
"Yeah, but still. I wouldn't dare go to my bedroom tonight. I'd fall down the stairs"
Severus looked at her and took a sip out of some non-alcoholic drink. He didn't really want to get like her that night. He'd spent a week thinking about it. What if he went out with her? He had liked Harry, maybe he had even started to love him... And she was that Harry. Yes, a try would be worth it.
"Spend the night with me" he suggested.
"I'm drunk, but not that drunk" she answered.
"I have something Muggles don't have" Severus replied. "A potion that takes alcohol out of your body. If I give it to you, would you spend the night with me?"
Ginny thought about it for a minute.
"Yeah... I guess I was pretty nasty then, huh? You had all the right to be mad"
"Mhm" Severus agreed and went to get the potion.
/*-/*-/*-/*-
So, he was going out with a woman. And a nasty Slytherin-like one. How did he end up in this mess?
But there was something he said to himself and later to others who found out about the story:
"I love whom I love and she's the one for me, so will you all shut up?!"
/*-/*-/*-/*-
AN: Well? Review and tell me what you think! That's a must!