Disclaimer: Rar…material from FFVIII is owned by Sqaresoft ^^

Compacted Soul

By: GrieverLionheart (Kelly)

Squall was cleaning his semi unkempt dorm room when he came across a note, small and folded into a little square. He pondered weather he should open this letter or not. His gloved hands slowly moved to the first fold and popped it open; as it burst forward he could see it was riddled with dried teardrops. His eye grew in fear as he remembered what this letter was for.

"To whom it may concern, weather your a teacher or instructor, it doesn't matter. I made the choice to leave this world. I do not belong here; there is nothing for me. Love, ha, love is a joke. I thought Quistis loved me, I know she is a year older than me and soon to become a SeeD, but I cant help what I feel. I just felt comfortable being around her. I remember at the new years dance last year, she saw me standing against the wall like always. She walked over to me, he hips swaying from side to side as I watched her. Suddenly I wasn't paying attention and she appeared in front of me. Five seconds till midnight I thought, and then it happen. She kissed me; it was deep, more than emotionally deep. Her lips had the sweet taste of apples on them, her arms moved up to my shoulders as we held that kiss. It was only for a couple minutes but it seemed to go on forever. It meant nothing to her, but everything to me, but I was wrong. I was in love with her, and I knew it by the gossip in the halls, she loved me too. It only ended in pain; I shut her out, just like everyone else. I couldn't even talk to her as a friend. Everyday I see her with a look on her face as if something she loved had been lost or totally dismissed from her from life. I could tell from that look it was me who caused this pain, I knew, because it was the same pain I felt. Love is a cruel mistress. Life, Life is a bitch. Then he had to bust my chops again. Seifer has again proven he is a better fighter than me, taking advantage of my sunken state. A great SeeD he will become. I really can't explain it in a letter but I feel different. I just want to be free; I don't want to live a life like this anymore. The only thing left in my life is my blade, even that is useless now. I don't want to do this but it is the only way. I hurt the one I love and I let my enemy defeat me. Nothing is left except the journey that is death."                                       

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                Squall

 Squall thought about that time long ago as he felt the tears stream down his face. When did he ever think like this? Squall couldn't help but think about his life before her.

"My life was trash, but why? Why did I deserve a life like this?"

*What is wrong with me? Why can't I show my emotions to others? Can anyone understand me? *

These thoughts plagued his mind over and over again for years.

*Would I even be worth Quistis's time? Do I still have that feeling of love for her? Why is it important that I know what's going on? Could this world exist at all if I had died? Could I ever feel real love? Why do I still live anyways? *

Just then there was a knock at the door, in walks a teenage girl around eighteen. She is extremely beautiful with long black hair. It flowed behind her gently as she made her stride across the room. She wrapped her arms around Squall's neck.

" I love you Squall."

"I love you too Rinoa, I love you too."

* Now I know why I live*

A smile appeared on his face.

                                GrieverLionHeart