Prologue 01 - This Is Damnation

"Prim!"

That voice was Lily, my fraternal twin sister. Bright and early in the morning when I was trying to sleep in for the remainder of summer. One whole month left before being shipped off.

"Prim!" She called my name again louder this time. I heard the bedroom door swung open but I didn't bother responding yet. I was trying to ignore her so that she would come to the conclusion that I'm half dead and half asleep.

"Prim! Wake up!" She jumped onto the end of my twin size bed and kept on hopping as if my bed was a trampoline.

I honestly wanted to tell her to either shut up or fuck off, but I couldn't swear because I don't want my head to be chopped off by mother, so I mustered little energy to tell her: "get out." Ugh, I can smell my morning breath.

She finally landed down onto her bum and proceeded to bother me by shaking my tiny 11-year-old body hidden beneath the warm blanket, "no can do, Prim, we've got letters!"

Oh, right.

Letters.

To attend school.

Hogwarts.

But a school nonetheless.

Fuck me in the a-hole.

Before this fuckery, let me explain my backstory. Primrose Evans is actually not me. Well, it is me, but Primrose wasn't who I was before being born as Primrose. I am — or was — someone else. I was a young woman aspiring to become an unemployed wealthy cat lady. But I didn't get far, you see.

No, in fact, from the terrible luck I had in my first life, just after I got my high school diploma, I'd gotten into an accident. A pretty bad accident that resulted in my death. I should've just stayed home and played games all day if I was going to die. All those studying for exams? Useless.

But guess what. Even more terrible is the fact that I'd been reborn into this craptastic world instead of being sent to hell or the underworld or whatever it is. But no, I'm stuck in Harry Potter world instead, and what's more is that I had been reborn as Harry Potter's mom's twin sister.

Don't get me wrong, I love Harry Potter, I watched all the films, didn't read any books, did read fanfics though. But what's the good when almost all of the paths I might take in Primrose's future will ultimately end in my death?

If the gods gave me a second chance at life, at least give me a proper one that won't have to do with anything concerning the main characters of this world or make me into a Mary Sue so that I can kill Baldy Voldey and get it over with.

Plus, imagine me, an 18-year-old virgin full of love-hormones stuck inside an 11-year-old!

I want to have sex, damn it!

Prologue 02 - Severus Snape

"C'mon Prim, Severus is waiting for us."

Lily smiled at me and I made a face. "You mean you?"

"No," she emphasized, "I mean us. I don't understand why you hate Severus. He's very kind once you get to know him."

"I don't hate him. He hates me. I don't understand why you always drag me along to meet him, he's your friend, not mine."

I was telling Lily nothing but the sincere truth. I don't hate Severus, but that didn't mean that I like him either. He was just… meh. His personality: meh. His face: meh. He was charismatic in the films, but in reality, he's a bit of a snot-nosed brat — just like any other children.

"There he is. Sev!"

"Lily," Severus greeted her back. His gaze met mine and he froze then his eyes turned back to Lily as if he was saying 'dafuq she doing here?'

Just as Lily was about to say something, I intervened, I said to them, "seems like you two need catching up to do. If you need me, don't call me."

"Wait, Prim..."

Too late, I was already halfway to the lake.

I sat down by the lake and I took out a half-filled journal.

What I have inside are all the events that happened so far in my life, as well as things that I remember from the films. No one can read it since all the words are encrypted into a different language — the language of my past life's home country. This made it so that I don't have to try so hard to remember what exactly went down to know who and what to avoid in this world.

Anyway, I wrote today's entry about Severus Snape — that he avoided my eyes like the last time we met.

He must really hate me to avoid my eyes constantly. Either that or he was madly in love with me. I'd love to assume it was the latter because I have a shit personality that is overconfident at the same time.

Prologue 03 - Lazy-ism

"Don't be lazy, sweetheart," mum said to me sternly.

Mum was especially strict on the middle child and not to Petunia and Lily. Dad, on the other hand, wasn't. At all. He spoils me non stop. During the days Lily and I were attending muggle school, I'd gotten a 'well done' on my math test and Lily got a 'satisfactory' (she had a fit and locked herself in her room) dad brought me a gift which was supposed to be a secret between us but I bragged about it in front of Lily. Never again. Nonetheless, there was no doubt that I'm daddy's little girl. Petunia and Lily can both fuck off and suck up to mum instead.

"But it's so troublesome… Going to different shops. You'll only need me just to buy the wand. And I'll just look at Lily's textbooks if I really need to (which I don't). Can I just stay home, dear mother?" I fluttered my lashes. It always worked until mum realized just how much of a devil I was, but it didn't hurt to try.

"None of this nonsense. You're coming whether you like it or not."

Ugh. Kill me already. This woman was taking me hostage by grabbing onto my hand.

"You're supposed to be excited! Aren't you wondering what Diagon Alley looks like? I bet it's going to be awesome!" Lily says, catching up to me.

I rolled my eyes, not as subtle as Lily would've liked. I was not excited at all to meet my doom that was school. Even if it was a magic school. School is still school and I was definitely not looking forward to all the work. I told you, my aspiration was and still is to be a wealthy cat lady who didn't do any work if I could help it.

"Petunia dear, hurry or we'll be stuck in traffic!"

Oh, right, I forgot Petunia was there. She was like the invisible man.

Prologue 04 - Not Poor, But Average.

With the help of a magical guide, we all entered Diagon Alley after Tom, the bartender/owner/innkeeper, opened the entrance, all too habitually.

"Now… Where do you think the bank is, girls?"

Wasn't it obvious? "The white building looks strangely out of place, all polished and clean unlike the rest of these buildings, eh mum?" I said sarcastically. Mother gave me a look that said 'don't be sassy at me.' I wouldn't be surprised if she snapped her fingers at me as well.

Nothing exciting went down inside Gringotts, except for the ride to the new vault that mum made to leave a small sum of money for Lily and me just in case of emergencies. I know what I'm going to do with that money. Investments in stocks. Keep it a secret from mom though. Oh, and Lily as well. They'll freak.

Then, we headed to get our robes.

Wait.

... Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions...? I thought the Evans family was struggling at the current time.

Could it be? After all these years in near-poverty, was mother going to break the news that we were actually filthy stinking rich? So all those moments of 'no, we're not buying that' and 'maybe later' and simply 'no' were all just to make me humble...?

Then, mum gave us an explanation. "It's your first year at Hogwarts so your father and I are going to give you the best supplies you'll need. But we'll see if we can keep coming back to get better supplies next years if you two do well in school."

Mum, you're telling me that we're still poor?

Alright. It's official. I'm definitely investing in stocks.

"Welcome ladies! Who am I measuring today?" Malkin greeted us, making me come out of my calculations for future (investment) plans.

"Just her measurements," I point to Lily, "but we'll take two of each outfit, thanks."

"No, no, we'll measure this little one as well," mom glares at me and then gleams at Malkin as she pats down my head.

"… Gladly," Malkin smiled, "come this way."

Prologue 05 - Oh Mother

We exited Malkin's. I suggested we visit the bag store next to obviously purchase a bag to keep our supplies in, and hopefully, mom will allow me to get into one of the bags and stay there until we get back home — of course, the bags must be charmed in order for that to happen.

No such luck. Even more so was when mother insisted in response to my witty remark that I become today's temporary butler and carry all of our shit, including Lily's. Lily protested. Thanks for looking out for your dear sister, Lil.

Anyway, next stop was Flourish and Blotts.

Books. Cursed books. I prefer pictures instead, thanks.

I grabbed one of the textbooks off of the shelf needed for first years. "Is this really necessary? It's not like I'll look inside these books, ever. They'll all go to complete waste."

"You will read them and you will like every one of these books," mom demanded.

It was too much for her to ask of me. What if I die from reading too much? That's one of my greatest fears next to dying of hunger and thirst.

I tried to make a viable excuse. "I never read anything for muggle school and I still got more than satisfactory. All the teachers loved me (and I despised them)."

"You will read each word. Each word. I'm going to tell Professor McGonagall to observe you read those and report back to me."

I gasp at the blank threat. "My own mother would blackmail me into doing something I don't want to do?!"

A/N:

Give me a pat on the back because I have a midterm soon.