She had blonde hair and blue eyes, just like her brother did. He was older than her by almost ten years, which meant he was joining the military before she even got her first period. Her older brother had been her hero, someone she always looked up to. So, when he came back from the war a changed person, she still loved him and was there for every step of his recovery. It was what drove her to be a nurse in the first place.
When she checked her voicemail and learned about his death, it was after a sixteen hour shift in the intensive care unit. She'd lost two patients already that night. Learning about Herman only proved that bad things really did come in threes. Kelly was numb. He was her big brother, her best friend and just like that, he was gone. She closed her locker and headed back out to the nurse's station, hoping her supervisor was still there.
"John, I've got to take some personal days." Kelly struggled to keep her voice from cracking. She couldn't cry. Not there, not when the patients and families looked to them for strength and hope. John looked up from the computer and his annoyed expression immediately evaporated.
"That won't be a problem, Kelly. You've got plenty saved up. Why don't we plan on a week? If you need more time, all you've got to do is give me a call." John said, shocked to see so much despair in such a strong woman's eyes. He had wanted to ask her out for months, but in addition to their professional relationship, he also had a feeling she wasn't available. He knew she was single, but single and available were two completely different things.
"It shouldn't keep me that long. I appreciate it though." Kelly said with a sad smile before hurrying out of the hospital as fast as she could without running. As soon as she got to her car, her chest started heaving and tears poured into her lap. She tried to stop, knowing she still had to make it home. She slammed her fists into the steering wheel and sobbed even harder. It wasn't fair.
The drive home was one of the most reckless things she had done in over a year. Between the stinging of the mascara in her eyes and her anger, she was all over the road. Kelly wasn't even sure how she made it to her driveway without any closer calls than she'd had. She cut the engine and attempted to gather her wits and hold on to them just long enough to get inside, grab some clothes and get back to the car.
Kelly avoided looking at the walls as she walked inside. He had helped her paint them when she moved in, despite hating the happy yellow color she had chosen. She felt her throat closing up and all but ran into her bedroom. Kelly saw the picture frame on her dresser and it kicked her Kozik temper into full gear. She screamed a feral, wounded scream and shoved everything off into the floor, not caring about the sound of shattering glass.
The exertion of kicking and screaming at the dresser took enough energy to dull some of her pain, at least for a little while. Kelly panted as she grabbed jeans and a few different shirts that were always her go to's. She wasn't the type to wear a dress and Herman never would have wanted her to dress up on his account. Ten minutes later, she got back in her car and started the long drive from Tacoma to Charming. Luckily for everyone else on the roads, she wasn't angry anymore. She was numb.
When she finally stopped, she'd been driving for five hours after her sixteen hour shift that was proceeded by about four hours of sleep. She hated dive hotels as much as the next single woman, but she couldn't trust herself to make it another twenty miles to something less roach motel-like. Had she not been exhausted, the attendant's question of hourly or nightly rate would have sent her running.
Her sleep wasn't exactly restful. She dreamt about the last conversation she had with her older brother, which would now forever haunt her. They had fought over his decision to transfer to Charming. He'd called her selfish and needy. She'd called him weak and stupid. It was the one thing she had never called him before, weak. What's worse is she didn't even mean it. She was just hurt and now he would never know that.
Kelly knew she looked like hell before she even looked in the mirror. It didn't lie. She splashed cool water over her face, hoping it would help with the dark circles under her eyes, but knowing better than that. Surprisingly, the shower didn't have rust and grime like she thought it would, so she took a leap of faith and took a quick, luke-warm shower. She normally liked her showers hot enough to nearly scald her skin, but she was happy enough to not smell like hospital anymore.
She got back on the road, still numb enough to only pose as a moderate risk to others on the road. There was still another five hours to Charming, which meant she would be getting there right about three. If she was going anywhere else, it would mean she could avoid rush-hour. Charming didn't have rush-hour though, at least not in the sense that she was accustomed to in Tacoma or Seattle. Her fingers hovered above the radio controls, knowing that it was a risk to turn it on. Singing in the car was always her thing with Herman, at least on the rare occasion that he would actually ride in a cage.
Just to be safe, she quickly changed it from oldies to pop, knowing the chance of hearing one of his favorite songs on that station was slim. Their mother had conditioned them to love music, always singing in the kitchen when she cooked and almost any other time their father wasn't around. When he was around, singing was their mother's way of calming Kelly down after scary outbursts and fights. Between her singing and Herman's promise to never let their father hurt her, Kelly had managed to grow up in a bad home without too many negative side effects.
She passed the Welcome to Charming sign and the pain flared back up. Kelly hadn't seen Herman in over four months since and had never come to Charming after he'd left Tacoma. Had he not died here, she probably never would have come here again. She didn't even want Herman to try and transfer here, hence their fight a few months ago.
The attendant of the hotel looked much cleaner than the last attendant, as did the hotel itself. Kelly booked a room for three nights, telling herself she wouldn't stay past that unless she absolutely had to. She carried her bags into the hotel room and tossed them on the queen sized bed. The room was clean and didn't have any suspicious smells, but it looked like it hadn't been updated since the eighties. Kelly took a deep breath and sat down on the corner of the bed, wondering what she was supposed to do next. It was a quarter after three, so she set the alarm on her phone for five o'clock and crawled under the covers, hoping to get a little shut eye before going down to the clubhouse.
When that didn't work, she crawled out of bed and set out for a walk down to the liquor store. She knew she was going to need some and she didn't want to get back in the car yet. Nothing ever changed in Charming and it wasn't a large town, so she knew where she was going, at least the general area. The warm summer sun beat down on her arms and face, reminding her little she got out of her house if it wasn't to go to work. It felt nice but it couldn't warm the chill in her bones.
The bell rang as she opened the door to the liquor store that was in fact, right where she remembered it. It was much smaller than the store she frequented in Tacoma, but it had all the basics. She roamed over to the whiskey shelf and scanned the bottles, hoping she could find something decent. Eventually, she settled on a bottle of Jameson and headed up to the counter to pay.
"$16.08 sweetheart." The older man said, pulling out a brown paper bag for her. Kelly swiped her debit card and punched in her pin number, well aware of the attention she was getting from the cashier. She looked up and took the bag and receipt. "You new to town?"
"No. I'm just visiting for a few days." Kelly said, shaking her head. The older man raised her brow, wondering why she would visit Charming of all places. He thought about asking her, but by the time he decided against it, she was already walking down the sidewalk.
Kelly headed straight back to the hotel, resisting the urge to drink from the bottle on her way back. She pushed her hair back and looked up at the sun, wondering if it was always that bright in Charming. Herman was a surfer at heart, so of course he would love the sunshine and heat. Kelly didn't really mind it, it just wasn't something she was used to. She heard the unmistakable sound of motorcycles approaching from a distance and picked up the pace, not wanting to run into them before she knew exactly what she wanted to say.
As soon as the hotel door was closed and locked behind her, she ripped open the foil around the lid of the whiskey bottle and tipped the bottle up. The alcohol burned her throat, but she enjoyed the heat as it pulsed through her veins. She licked a couple drops off her lips and leaned her head back, letting her hair cascade down her back. It was time to face the music. She rummaged through her bag and pulled out a smaller makeup, hoping a little makeup would hide just how broken she was.
Driving onto the lot of Teller-Morrow was almost surreal. She pulled into a parking space near the gate and took a deep breath, telling herself she could do it, she could face the truth. Kelly took the first step and opened the door. The garage wasn't more than half a mile from the liquor store, but the air felt completely different, like she was in a different state all together. She closed her eyes and stepped out of the car.
"Shop's closed for the day." Ratboy called out to the blonde that had gotten out of the gray Audi. She put her hand on the trunk of her car and looked pretty shaken up to him. Sensing an opportunity to talk to and get in good with the beautiful woman, he put down his wrench and headed over to her. He noticed her long legs and the way her jeans were hugging her ass. They weren't super tight like the girls around the club wore theirs, but surprisingly enough, he liked that.
"The car is fine." Kelly managed, looking at the young man's eyes that were looking over her body, not the car's. He flicked his eyes up to hers and blinked a couple times before finally plastering a cocky smirk on his face. Kelly rolled her eyes. "I need to see Clay."
"He expecting you?" Rat wasn't prepared to hear her ask for Clay and it deflated him a little. She nodded at his question and he figured he probably shouldn't hit on her until after she saw Clay. He motioned towards the clubhouse and stepped that way, leading Kelly into the clubhouse that Herman had loved so much. "Uh, they're in church. Do you want a drink or something?"
"No, I'm good." Kelly said, wishing she'd been able to meet with Clay without everyone else being there. She knew it would be impossible to avoid them all, but she at least wanted to put it off a little longer. Instead of sitting at the bar and waiting, she meandered around the room, looking at all the different SOA and Harley Davidson decorations. She paused at a picture from one of Tacoma's rallies. It was three years ago and had been the last rally Kelly went to. She saw Herman's goofy smile in the picture and covered her mouth with her hand.
"You okay?" Rat asked, noticing how torn up she was over some picture he'd never even noticed before. She turned to look at him and her walls crashed down. Rat didn't know what to do as she cried. He took a step towards her and she took two steps back. He swore under his breath and jogged over to the large double doors that he only went behind on invitation.
"What in the hell are you doing?" Clay boomed as the prospect burst into the tense room. All eyes turned to the young man who seemed frozen in place. Clay stood up and Rat swallowed hard, imagining his balls in a jar for busting in like that. He pointed towards the crying woman instead of taking the risk of saying the wrong thing. Clay looked into the clubhouse and saw the blonde crying near the bar. "Shit, Kelly."
If the room wasn't silent enough before, it was after Clay spoke that name. She hadn't come around the clubhouse much, but everyone knew who she was and why she was there. Rat didn't understand why everyone flipped from angry to almost pained, it was just a crying girl. Clay shoved past him and walked over to Kelly with his shoulders forward. Kelly looked up at the older man and sniffed hard, wishing she could have just kept it together.
"This is your fault." Kelly snapped, unable to hold it in. She was a little surprised with her lack of self control and wondered just how much whiskey she'd downed before coming over to the clubhouse. Clay's eyes widened and she jerked back from his hand that was coming towards her shoulder. "You're supposed to keep them safe! Is lining your pockets really worth their lives? Is it?"
Happy heard the hate in her voice and moved quickly. He knew that once her filter was gone, it wasn't going to come back before it was too late. He'd seen her mouth off before and it wasn't pretty. This wasn't Tacoma though, she wasn't exactly family here. He sidestepped Clay and grabbed Kelly's arms before she could dodge him.
"Lee is twice the President you will ever be you son of a bitch!" Kelly yelled back at Clay as Happy pushed her towards the dorms. She didn't miss the hatred that flashed in the man's eyes before she turned away from him to look into Happy's dark eyes. He opened the first door on the left and pushed her inside. "Don't touch me."
"Little late for that, Kelly." He was referring to bringing her down the hall, but the look in her eyes told him that wasn't how she took it. She shook her head before starting to cry again. Happy sighed and closed the door. "Get it out, girl. If you're pissed then get that shit out to. This isn't Tacoma, you can't talk to Clay like that."
Normally, Kelly would have bitten back at him for lecturing her, but she was hurting too much. She cried so hard it nearly made her sick, only finding some small relief when Happy forced her into a hug. She had pushed him away at first, but he risked getting mauled and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against his chest. After a few minutes, her crying subsided into a few spaced out sobs and Happy released her.
"What happened? All Lee told me was that he died." Kelly said, looking up at Happy from the bed she had sat down on after realizing she wasn't quite ready to stand on her own. Happy tensed but he knew she needed the truth.
"We got into some shit that went real bad real fast. He stepped on a mine." He paused, wondering if he should have gone into that much detail. "It was fast, Kelly. He didn't feel anything."
"A mine? What kind of shit did you get yourselves into?" Kelly asked, wishing she could understand why this had to happen. She dropped her head and looked at her shaking hands. "I guess it's a good thing he wanted to be cremated then."
"Yeah." Happy didn't really know what else to say. There was plenty he wanted to say, but it just wasn't the time. Kelly looked up at him again.
"I'm leaving as soon as the wake is over and I get his stuff packed in the car." She said, telling both Happy and herself. He nodded and took a couple steps towards her. She could see he was hurting to. They had been close, he and her brother. She shook her head slowly as he stood before her, just watching her. "Don't."
Happy stepped back as she stood up and walked out of the room without another word. He was almost glad to see that she still hated him. She wouldn't be Kelly if she forgave him like nothing had ever happened. Kozik had told him how much she hated him for what he'd done. He knew he deserved it, but he couldn't help being drawn to her, especially when she was hurting like he was.
"Kelly, wait." She stopped, knowing it was Tig before she even turned around. His crystal blue eyes looked into hers and she forced a tight smile. He pulled her into a hug and smoothed her hair gently. "I'm sorry, Kel."
"Me to, Tig. Me to. I'm getting out of here before I end up pissing Clay off even more. The wake is tomorrow, right?" Kelly asked, ready to get out of the clubhouse. Tig nodded.
"Come on, Kelly. You don't need to be alone. Have a drink, Clay went home." Tig said, knowing Kelly well enough to know that if she went to her hotel room, she'd end up drinking alone anyways. She hesitated and he squeezed her shoulder. "For me?"
"One drink, Tig." Kelly gave in and followed him over to the bar. He waved Rat over and ordered them both whiskey on the rocks. She pushed her hair behind her ear and looked over at Tig, wondering how he was handling Herman's death. They had a falling out but she knew they both still cared. She could never really get a good read on Tig though.
"How long are you staying?" Tig asked his fallen brother's sister. She stared down at her glass for a moment before answering.
"I'm just here for the wake and to get his stuff." She said, not even bothering addressing the elephant in the room any further. Tig wasn't surprised to hear her plans, but couldn't deny that he'd miss her when she left as well. He took a drink and watched Happy enter the room from the corner of his eye.
"Kozik said you were an RN now?" Tig asked, changing the subject. Kelly nodded without granting the question any further response. He wasn't used to struggling with conversation this much but there was so much he feared would upset her again. "He was real proud of you, Kel."
"I know. He sent me flowers and came to see me when I started at Tacoma General." Kelly's bottom lip quivered and she finished her drink quickly. Tig regretted mentioning Kozik, but he couldn't help it. "I need to go. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Be careful sweetheart." Tig said, smiling as she kissed him on the cheek. She forced a sad smile and nodded. When the door closed behind her, Tig chanced a look at Happy who was leaning against the wall at the end of the bar. "Think she'll be alright?"
"She's Kelly. She's tough." Happy said, not completely convinced of what he was telling Tig himself. She was tough, that was true but Kozik was more than half the reason. As much as he had needed her, she'd needed him as well. Happy moved to the seat that Kelly had abandoned and spun her glass around on top of the bar. "I'm going for a ride."
"Sure, brother." Tig said, earning a glare from Happy. Tig knew what the man was capable of but also knew that with Kelly in town, Hap would be too busy to worry about Tig calling him out. Happy made his way out of the clubhouse, rolling his eyes at Tig's assumption. He didn't have any plans to track Kelly down, not that it would be particularly hard.
Kelly stared at the bottle of whiskey on the dresser and told herself she didn't need it. She got through her mother's death without it and even her divorce after an embarrassingly short marriage of eight months. She'd never needed the bottle before, but she'd always had her big brother to lean on. The truth was, she was afraid of that bottle. Sure, she drank casually and even got drunk every now and then but addiction was in her blood if Herman and their father were any examples. She didn't want to lose herself like they had, but God, she wanted that whiskey to warm her bones and numb her mind.
"You weren't supposed to go yet, Kozik. We were supposed to get old and gray together." She said to the empty room. She thought she believed in God and heaven but losing Herman made her question everything. He was a good man, even if he was a criminal by definition of the law. What mattered to Kelly was the big brother she'd known for thirty years. He'd been the type to save people and fix things. Sure, he had his vices just like anybody else but he was a good person. He didn't deserve to be blown up by a land mine.
"Who is it?" Kelly yelled through the door as someone knocked on it for the third time. She set the bottle back down on the dresser, realizing that it had gotten considerably lighter. She didn't even bother using the peep hole in the door, she knew that whoever was on the other side could only be one of a handful of people. Sure enough, in the dim light of the breezeway, she saw Happy Lowman.
"Took you long enough." Happy said, inviting himself into the hotel room. Kelly rolled her eyes and tossed the door closed a little harder than she meant to. Happy looked back at her and raised his brow.
"I was busy." She shrugged and leaned back against the cold metal door. She saw Happy look over at the whiskey bottle and nod.
"I can see that." He wanted to ask if she thought that drowning herself in whiskey was going to bring him back or make her feel better, but he didn't want to see that pain in her eyes again. There would be plenty of that tomorrow.
"Yeah, sorry. I'd offer you a drink but the bar's all dried up. What are you doing here?" Kelly asked, tucking some hair behind her ear and looking at him quizzically. She didn't like being alone in a room with him, especially when she was drunk. Happy shrugged.
"Looking out for you, Kelly." He said, knowing she'd be pissed. He watched her cheeks redden and prepared for a fight. It wouldn't be their first one and probably not their last.
"Maybe you should have looked out for my brother." Kelly snapped back before she even knew what she was saying. She regretted it immediately. Happy nodded, trying to keep his anger under control. He knew she was drunk and torn up over Kozik, but no one talked to him like that.
"Watch your mouth, girl. You ain't the only one who lost a brother." Happy growled. Kelly nodded and pushed off the door, her compassionate nature kicking in. Past the anger in his voice, she heard his own pain. His eyes were on her as she slowly approached him.
"I'm sorry, Happy. I know if you could have saved him, you would have." Kelly said, standing mere inches away from him. He nodded and looked her over for the first time in a long time. Her eyes were glassy, thanks to the Jameson and her cheeks were a little red as a result as well. She looked a little skinnier since the last time he saw her, but it only served to make her breasts look that much perkier and her ass that much rounder. "You should go."
"Why?" Happy asked, looking back up at her eyes. She slowly brought them up to his and he watched her cheeks get a little redder.
"I'm drunk and vulnerable. You're you. It's not a good combination." She said softly. He nodded, knowing she was probably right. That didn't make him want her any less.
"I'll see you tomorrow, angel." He crossed the room and pulled the door open before she caught his wrist. She swallowed hard and looked into his eyes. Their lips crashed into each other as he kicked the door shut with his heavy boots. Kelly let go of every second thought she had and let herself feel something besides pain. Happy walked her back towards the bed and guided her down slowly. He wanted nothing more than to slam into her hard and fast, but for some reason, he cared more about what she wanted.
"Happy," Kelly said on a heavy breath as he kissed the soft skin of her neck. It sent goose bumps down her arms that were wrapped around him. She loved the way his short stubble scratched her skin. Happy unbuttoned her thin black blouse and pushed it out of the way of her chest. Her back arched as he sucked on her ample cleavage while sliding a hand around to her back to undo the bra. Kelly pulled her arms out of the shirt and discarded both it and her bra as Happy watched her intently.
"Fucking beautiful." He growled as he dipped his mouth down to a nipple. Kelly whimpered at the pressure of his teeth, remembering just how well Happy knew how to push her buttons. She put her hand on the side of his face and he looked up at her.
"We're a little uneven, killer." She said huskily. He stood up, making sure to keep his eyes on her as he shrugged his leather off, followed by pulling his shirt off and stepping out of his boots. Kelly toed her sneakers off as he got back into position over her. She couldn't help noticing that the rows of smiling face tattoos had multiplied since the last time they'd been together. She knew what they were for, what they meant.
His mouth demanded her attention as his tongue slid into her own, sharing his taste of whiskey and smoke with her. She moaned and ran her hand down from his neck to his warm, chiseled stomach. His hardened member was pressed against her jeans, which made her chest rise and fall just a little bit faster. Happy let her hands work their way down to his belt before he stopped kissing her lips.
"Do you have a condom?" Kelly asked, looking up at him as he pushed the jeans she had undone down his legs. He nodded, amused that she even thought to ask him. He fished the foil wrapper out of his wallet as Kelly unbuttoned her own jeans. While she did slid her jeans down, along with her panties, Happy stroked himself a couple times before rolling the condom on. Kelly moved more towards the center of the bed and gave him a seductive look.
She let him spread her knees apart and watched as he kneeled on the bed between her legs. They had been her many times before, but not in years. She closed her eyes and leaned her head back as he slid two fingers into her, not forgetting to give the little bundle of nerves plenty of attention with his thumb. It had been a while since a man touched her like that and her body was all but yearning for more.
Happy watched her bottom lip retreat into her mouth as she bit down on it gently. He smirked, remembering the way that same mouth had pleased him time and time again. As he ran his fingers that had been buried inside of her over the light pink lips and bundle of nerves, she all but purred. Happy was glad he'd made use of some sweetbutt the night before, or he never would have lasted more than five minutes with Kelly.
"Oh, God," Kelly moaned as he filled her completely. He was thinking the same thing as he felt the resistance of her tight walls wrapping around his shaft. She was as tight as ever and he wondered again just how long he'd be able to go with her this time. He crawled over her and dipped his mouth down onto hers as he started thrusting. "Happy, right there."
Happy knew her body like the back of his hand and aimed to please her as much as he did himself. He listened to her plea and fulfilled it, slamming into her and hitting the spot over and over. Her breath hitched and she knew that her whole body was about to come undone. Happy kissed her neck and it set the explosion off inside of her. She all but screamed his name as her body pulsated and her walls tightened around him. It pushed him over the edge when she looked him in the eyes.
Kelly knew by the way he dipped his head onto the pillow between her head and shoulder that he'd found his own release as well, it was his tell. She slowly came down from the high that he'd given her and only then began to think about what she'd done when he was off the bed and making his way into the bathroom. Coming to Charming was something she had to do but what she'd done with Happy had been a mistake, no matter how great it had made her feel.
"Already regretting it, Kelly?" He asked, reading her expression as she smoked a cigarette she no doubt took from his pack. She moved her eyes over to him and nodded, noticing that he'd gone back to using her name. The look on his face both surprised and confused her. There was so much going on that she couldn't discern exactly what he was feeling, but she could tell that part of it was guilt, a emotion she'd only seen from him once before.
"I'll see you tomorrow, Happy." Kelly said, walking past him as he got dressed. She closed the door to the bathroom and started the shower, hoping he would be gone by the time she was done. For that reason and because she had hot water to enjoy, she took more time in the shower than usual. When she emerged from the bathroom, wrapped in a thin white towel, she saw that he was indeed gone, leaving nothing behind but a envelope he'd placed on top of her open suitcase.
Please let me know what you think and if you would prefer to get backstory in flashbacks or conversation. All original pairing (ie Jax/Tara) will be the same. I'm going to try and follow the timeline of the show with major events but at some point it may stray away from the show for inclusion of Kelly's character.