He and I had something beautiful
But so dysfunctional, it couldn't last
I loved him so but I let him go
'Cause I knew he'd never love me back
Oo0oO
Olivia loved Peter. And Peter loved Olivia. But Olivia- Liv- had to accept that it wasn't really her that Peter loved. Peter loved his Olivia; the one who had freckles, and kept her blond hair. The one with the shadowed eyes, who's mother had died at 14.
And while it was nice to be with Peter, to feel the love he felt for her- for Olivia- she knew she had to let him go. Because she wasn't who he thought she was, and he deserved to be with his Olivia.
Oo0oO
Such pain as this
Shouldn't have to be experienced
I'm still reeling from the loss,
Still a little bit delirious
Oo0oO
The pain she felt, the emotional pain she was left with, was crippling. She had a hard time going day to day, knowing she may never see Peter again; knowing that Peter would never love her.
Knowing that he'd never really loved her.
Oo0oO
Near to you, I am healing
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.
Oo0oO
She was suprised to find out that Lincoln loved her. But it was a comfort. And she found that when she was around Lincoln, the pain lessened. It was still there, that empty, aching feeling in her chest- like part of her had been ripped out- but it wasn;t as bad.
Through it all, Liv began to realize just how wonderful Lincoln was to her. He was patient and kind, never showing how much it hurt him that losing Peter hurt her so much. Never showing how much it hurt him when they woke up together and she cried out for Peter, not him.
And Liv was grateful. Because she could feel herself slowly healing; slowly being out back together.
Oo0oO
You and I have something different
And I'm enjoying it cautiously
I'm battle scarred, I am working oh so hard
To get back to who I used to be
Oo0oO
It was different with Lincoln. With Peter, it was a flurry of love and passion; they never knew how much time they'd have before they were needed again. With Lincoln, it was slower; Lincoln let it be slower. He gave her the space he needed, but was always there when she called. And she was so, so grateful.
He never once mentioned how she had given birth to Peter's baby. And when she brought it up, asking him if it bothered him (and stumbling over Peter's name- that wound was still too fresh), he'd shaken his head and said "It's a part of you now, Liv. I'm not going to let it bother me."
In return for all the things Lincoln did for her, Liv tried hard to move on. She painstaking put her life back together- her mom raising Henry. The only difference was the ache in her heart and the ever-constant presence of Lincoln. Lincoln, who let her take it one day at a time.
Oo0oO
He's disappearing
Fading steadily
And I'm so close to being yours
Won't you stay with me?
Please
Oo0oO
Slowly, but steadily, Peter starting to be nothing more than a memory. It was a slow going process, but she felt almost whole again.
There were, of course, moments of recession. When Secretary Bishop came, and brought up Peter, she'd spent the night crying, with Lincoln there, holding her. And she knew it must have hurt him to do so, but he did anyway.
And she was almost ready to move on with her life. To let Peter be a memory, and Lincoln be her here and now.
Oo0oO
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I am
Better where you are
I only know that I belong
Where you are
Oo0oO
She still wasn't whole. But when Lincoln was with her, the hole in her chest closed up; she felt as close to whole as she would ever feel again.
And she was willing to love again. Because she needed Lincoln; he completed her. And wherever he was, she would go. Not just because he made the pain go away; not just because he'd stood by her in her time of need.
But because she loved him.
Oo0oO
Near to you, I am healing Yet, I'm better near to you.
But it's taking so long
'Cause though he's gone
And you are wonderful
It's hard to move on
Yet, I'm better near to you.
Oo0oO
A/N: Song is Near to You by A Fine Frenzy. I don't own it. This is Alt-Lincoln/Alt-Liv, because they belong together, but she clearly loved/misses Peter. Please review?