Title: Left Behind with Nothing Left
Summary: Bella moved to Forks after her mom died. Follows the books up until Edward leaves, what happens when Bella has nothing left??? *Warning: Character Death**Cutting/Suicide* Slight OOC?
Disclaimer: Even though I wish on every shooting star I see everything belongs to Stephenie Meyer and not me!

*PLOT: Bella moved to Forks after her mom died in a car accident. The rest follows the books up to where Edward runs into the woods.

I ran faster than I have ever run before, but not into the woods and towards Edward. I ran away, towards my house. How could he not love me anymore? How could he not care after everything we've been through? After everything I put him through? WHY? HOW?

I stormed through the door, slamming it and sinking down to the floor, pulling my knees to my chest and resting my back against the door. I began to sob uncontrollably. I'm not sure how long I had been there before I stood up on shaky legs. I walked carefully up to my room and noticed that the pictures in my album and my CD were gone.

"I promise that this will be the last time you'll see me. I won't come back. I won't put you through anything like this again. You can go on with your life without any more interference from me. It will be as if I'd never existed." Edward's words echoed through my head over and over again and I couldn't help falling into my bed, burying my face in my pillow and crying more. I didn't want him to make that promise. I want the exact opposite. I want him back and I want to remember him every second of the day.

I finally found my strength once more and rose from my bed. I walked down the stairs but tripped on the last one. I fell flat on my face. I half expected to be caught by the ice cold hands that normally caught me before I fell, but I wasn't and that hurt worse than the fall.

I made my way to kitchen and started to make Spaghetti for dinner. Nothing to hard or complicated since the only thing on my mind was "He's gone." I poured the can of Ragu in the pot and started boiling some noodles.

Charlie made it home on time and I had dinner on the table. I tried my hardest to act cheerful and enthusiastic, but I don't think I succeeded very well.

"Is there anything you would like to talk about Bella" Charlie asked.

"Nope" was all I could manage without giving my façade away but I knew he already saw it and was getting aggravated.

"I heard at work that the Cullens left. I guess Dr. Cullen received a better off somewhere else and decided to move his family once more. How are you holding up?"

I know he's just trying to be helpful but can't he just leave well enough alone. I'm trying my hardest not to break down once again but all his interrogating is just making it that much harder.

"I'm fine dad. Don't worry." I faked a smile and he must have bought it for the moment because he seemed to drop it. "Well, I'm going to head to room if there's nothing else you need."

"I'm fine Bells. But aren't you going to eat?" His expression was full of concern and a little anger.

"I'm not hungry." And with that I made a dash up the stairs only tripping once. I managed to catch myself before I hit the floor. I heard Charlie saying something but never once looked back. I just needed my refuge before my walls crumbled once more.

I collapsed on my bed and began to stare at the ceiling. I turned on the radio thinking that could help to distract my mind away from the pain but the song didn't help.

How do I get through one night without you
If I had to live without you
What kind of life would that be
Oh I, I need you in my arms
Need you to hold
You're my world, my heart, my soul

If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything good in my life
And tell me now

How do I live without you
I want to know
How do I breathe without you
If you ever go
How do I ever, ever survive
How do I
How do I
Oh, how do I live

Without you, there'd be no sun in my sky
There would be no love in my life
There'd be no world left for me
And I, oh Baby, I don't know what I would do
I'd be lost if I lost you
If you ever leave
Baby you would take away everything real in my life
And tell me now…

And with that I flipped the radio back off. I can't take all these sappy love songs while my heart was torn into a million pieces. I continued to stare at the ceiling letting silent tears fall down face and onto my pillow. I needed a way to let some of this pain out. I immediately picked up some paper and a pencil. I was never that good at drawing but I felt a strange urge to draw.

I'm not sure how long I had been drawing but it was looking pretty good. I didn't realize what I was drawing at first. It just flowed through my arm and onto the paper but eventually I saw it unfolding before my eyes. It was a picture of Edward's back leaving me while standing in the woods with my head hung. It was very dark but it helped ease the pain.

Once my drawing was nearing completion I sat my instruments on the floor next to my bed and silently cried myself to sleep. I wanted those cold arms to be wrapped around me and I wanted that cold body next to me. I decided to leave the window open just in case he decided he really didn't want to be away.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Weeks went by and everyday pretty much ran like the first one did. I did start to eat every now and then but it was never much. I had lost everything since Edward left. The only reason I was still around was because of Charlie.

School wasn't the same. I didn't talk to anyone and no one talked to me and I really didn't care. My whole body was empty. There was nothing left but an empty shell. At lunch I sat at a table alone and drew. It had become my new outlet. It let me convey my feelings without talking. It really helped. My life consisted of me, Charlie, and drawing.

Of course, the rumors were flying around school about why the Cullens left and every time I heard the name it my heart tear into even more pieces. It hurt but I tried to ignore most of it.

Today, however, it was not as easy. I had made it through another day and was heading to my truck when someone that was in my Biology class approached me. He looked very cocky and I knew this was not going to end well.

"Bella, I have a question. I heard that Cullen left because he didn't want to have to break up with you and face the tears and broken heart of a girl. He didn't want to be the one that had to see you every day. So he just took off without a word so you could put yourself back together and he wouldn't have to see you anymore."

That was it. My heart had finally turned to powder and I couldn't take it anymore. I didn't know what to say. I didn't know why he didn't love me anymore and I couldn't tell people he was a vampire and dangerous. I just ran to my truck and drove as fast as my truck would let me all the way home with tears forming in my eyes blurring my vision.

I ran up the stairs and onto my bed. I started to draw but it just wasn't helping. A new idea came to me as I walked to the bathroom. I found my razor and popped the blade off. I went back to my room with the blade in one hand and some tissue in the other.

As I ran the blade across my skin the first time, not that deep the emotional pain in my heart started to ease a little bit. I cut three marks onto the inside of my upper arm and it made the pain a lot more bearable. The cuts weren't deep enough for stitches but they would probably scar for awhile. I wiped the blood away trying not to get any on my bed. I didn't want to draw Charlie's attention to my new stress relief.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Months went by and so did Christmas and New Year. I spent it with Charlie, of course. What else did I have left? My new canvas was starting to show and I belong to where long sleeves all the time but with so much rain and snow no one thought anything of it. I liked my new method.

One morning, I woke and went downstairs. Charlie was sitting at the kitchen table ready for work but I could tell he was distracted with something else. On the table was a bowl of cereal, two pieces or toast, and a glass of orange juice ready for me to eat. There was definitely something going on.

"I fixed you breakfast and I would like to talk to you." Charlie informed me as I took a seat with a raised eyebrow and a cautious stance. "You are always in your room. You never go out with friends and this is just not healthy. I know Edward and the Cullens leaving hurt you deeply but maybe you should start to move on with your life. I think you should find someone to hang out with and maybe talk to a professional."

That was the last straw. I was mad now and there was no turning back. "WHAT?! NO! I don't have any other friends. I don't want them and they don't want me and that's fine!!! I don't want to talk to a SHRINK!!!! And I just want to be left alone! I am fine by myself! I am just waiting until I can graduate and get out of this STUPID PLACE!!!!! Just leave me alone! I am 18 years old and I can take care of myself and you!!!" His look turned from mad with a little worry to a lot of worry and a little mad. I actually felt guilty for exploding but I felt somewhat better too.

"Bells, I am just worried about you. You can't put your life on hold forever for someone who left. Please just try to find something to do so you're not always just sitting in your room alone. It worries me. It also worries me how much weight you have lost. You look like a skeleton with skin. You need to start taking better care of your body. You are the only thing I have left."

"Okay" was all I could respond with. I felt so guilty for making him worry and he was right about my weight. I looked bad but I just couldn't find my appetite anymore.

"Well, I need to get to work. I'm going to be late because I have to go to Port Angeles and help with some gang activity out there so don't worry about cooking dinner. I will pick something up while I'm out. Be careful and get out of the house. Love you." With that, he kissed the top of my head and walked out the door.

I drove to school very slow this morning, thinking about the conversation I had with my dad and about how bad I felt for making the one thing I had left worry so much. I don't want him to hurt. That's the last thing in the world that I want.

The whole day was boring and drifted by very slowly. I was trying to come up with something to do to get me out of the house after school. I was trying to take Charlie's advice and maybe it would make me feel better.

By the end of school I had come up with the decision to go to the park and walk around. The sun would be good for me. I was starting to look like a vampire myself with the color of my skin. I drove to the park, parked my truck and got out. I walked around enjoying the little children running around playing. I felt sadness when I saw a couple walking along the path, kissing and giving off the love vibe. It just made me miss him more.

I found a corner of the park were no was and laid down under a tree. It reminded of the meadow that Edward used to hang out in. It was a very cloudy day and it was a little on the chilly side but that didn't stop me from drifting off to sleep.

I woke to cold rain hitting my face which mixed with the warm tears that had been silently falling from my eyes while I was asleep. I decided that this was a good time to go home because the sun was starting to sit low in the sky.

I walked back to my truck, got in, and drove home at a slow pace. There was no reason for me to be in a hurry. Charlie would still be at work and I was going home to an empty house again.

Once home I walked in the door and immediately noticed I had a message on the answering machine. I pushed the flashing red button and listened.

"You have one new message. Hello. I am looking for an Isabella Swan. This is from Forks General Hospital. We have a Charlie Swan here and he was involved in a serious accident today. If you could please report to the hospital as soon as you can we can discuss his condition in more detail. Thanks." BEEP!

After listening to the message my heart dissolved and my stomach sank. I fell to my knees and cried…

**THANKS! I plan on updating soon if anyone wants to read the rest. Just leave me a review and let me know. Thanks again! **