Disclaimer: And again, no.
AN: I think I love this law the best. Bless Skinner. First, this was going to be a SGA story. Then a DW story. Then another SGA/DW crossover. And now it's back to SGA and humour.
"We're missing something," John said.
"Yeah," Rodney agreed, not looking up from the datapad he was starring at intently.
"I'm taking that to mean you don't know what it is," John declared.
Rodney looked up only long enough to glare. "If I did, we wouldn't be missing it, would we?"
John didn't really have an answer for that.
"Skinner's Constant," Ford broke in.
"What?"
"The quantity which must be multiplied by, divided by, added to, or subtracted from the answer you get to give you the answer you should have got." Rodney dictated. "It's a maths term."
"I know that," John sounded annoyed. "Surprisingly, I've heard it before."
"He was just shocked I'd heard of it, Doc," Ford added.
Sheppard looked a bit sheepish. "Well, yeah. How'd you know it?"
"Dated a math geek," Ford shrugged.
Rodney made a noise. "Of course you did," he said in a disapproving tone. "How else would one learn anything about math? It doesn't exactly apply here."
"Well, we're missing a piece of the puzzle, which, if we had, we'd have the correct answer; so yeah, it kinda does McKay."
Rodney shrugged and stabbed violently at his datapad. "Doesn't help," he pointed out.
"No, guess not."
"Think to ask Teyla?" Rodney wondered out loud, although clearly he thought it was pretty obvious that John would have done this before bothering him.
"Uh, no. Think she'd know?"
"Teyla? Teyla who knows everything about everyone on base? Uh, yes, sir," Ford trailed in at the end.
John sent his own disapproving look. "So, I should go find her?"
Rodney nodded towards the door. "Please." John took the annoyed tone as reason enough to high tail it somewhere that did not have moody scientists.
"Come on, Ford. Think she's in the gym?"
Ford tailed him out of Rodney's lab and down the corridor to the transporter. He shrugged. "Probably. If not, someone there will know where she's gone."
"Yeah, sure."
"Uh, sir?" Ford sounded a bit cautious.
John pressed the appropriate spot on the city map with one hand an waved the other absently in permission.
"What's it you're missing?"
"Carson's been up to see Elizabeth three times in as many days and she's gone down to the infirmary twice. Something's wrong and it must be pretty serious. But Elizabeth won' tell me and you know Carson..." Ford nodded his head in agreement. "Rodney caught them having a whispered conversation yesterday when he was there and they stopped talking as soon as they saw him. Not like those two; keeping secrets. Hence, something is wrong. And if Elizabeth won't tell me, I'll find out myself."
Ford clearly debated whether to point out that it might be none of the Major's business, but obviously thought better of it.
"It's not a surprise party or anything, because there are no birthdays, anniversaries, promotions, or holidays right now; McKay checked for me. If it was important for the city, Elizabeth wouldn't be discussing it with Carson. So, either she's sick, or someone else in the command staff is."
"Good deducing, sir" Ford said, impressed.
"Not bad, yeah? Still, I'm missing that final piece of information."
"If it's Doctor Weir, she's probably told Teyla."
John nodded. "That's what I'm hoping for."
They found Teyla just leaving the training room. "Good afternoon John, Aiden," she nodded to them.
"Afternoon," Ford said back.
John clearly was not in the mood for formalities. "Do you know what's wrong with Elizabeth?"
Teyla started then glanced left and right along the corridor to make certain they were alone. "I do not believe that it is your business Colonel Sheppard, if she has not told you herself."
Not the answer John wanted. "But Teyla, if she's sick or something I need to know!"
"She is not ill that I am aware of, John, I assure you. But it is her business and I will say no more. Good day," she said and walked away.
"Well, that's good news, right sir?"
John shrugged. "Oh, hold on," he tapped his radio. "Sheppard. Yeah. Sure, be right there."
"Doctor Weir?"
A nod. "Yeah. I'm going to figure this out. See you later Ford."
"Good luck, sir," Ford said, even though his commanding officer was already around the corner. Then he sprinted off in the other direction, catching up with Teyla at the stairs.
"He has not figured it out?" she asked.
"Nope," Ford grinned.
"That is good," she smiled back.
When Elizabeth led John into the crowded commissary twenty minutes later to a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday', John could only hand his head in shame that he had forgotten it was his birthday.