"FIRST PERSON TO SAY WHAT GETS SLAPPED!"
"What?"
Ghost let out a yelp as Roach's hand made contact with his face. It wasn't hard enough to leave a mark, but just hard enough to make him drop his book. He quickly recovered and met the younger man's eyes, furious.
"Oi! The bloody hell was that for?"
Roach shrugged and grinned proudly. He walked around from the back of the couch and sat down on the arm, right by Ghost.
"You said what."
"… What?"
The Englishman let out another yelp as yet another hand made contact with his face. Out of accidental reflex he jumped backwards and tripped over the leg of the coffee table. He grabbed the top of the couch just in time to catch himself.
Roach kept his hand up and grinned, obviously enjoying himself more than he should have.
"Imma marry my hand to yo face!"
"Hands can't get married, ya bloody fuck-stick." Ghost mumbled bitterly. He retrieved his book and sat back down, except this time on the other side. The couch they were sitting on wasn't that big in the first place, but he was at least out of arms reach.
Roach tilted his head thoughtfully, his bright green eyes shining happily.
"Wha-" Ghost stopped mid word, remembering if he finished what his fate would be. He decided to just continue without finishing. "Are you thinking about?"
The young sergeant brought his hand up and folded it over in a way that made it look like a mouth. He kept it head level as he began to make the puppet-hand talk in a high pitched accent.
"Ooooooh Simon! Will you marry me?"
Ghost just stared, to shocked by the stupidity for words. He simply shook his head slowly.
"Ooooh you will?" Roach continued, his voice somehow managing to get higher. He made the puppet-hand look at him, as if it were actually a person. "That is so great Simon! I'm going to give you a big kiss!"
Roach pressed his finger together as if they were puckering lips and approached Ghost. The lieutenant leaned backwards, avoiding the hand as if it were radioactive.
"Keep your hands to yourself mate, I don't know where they've been."
Roach brought the hand back and cleared his throat, now using his own voice.
"Mrs. Hand, do you take Simon to be your husband….. Thingy?"
He switched voices again, back to the high pitched one. Ghost sadly realized he was now actually switching characters.
"Ooooh yes! Of course I will marry Simon!"
This joke will never end.
"The punch line is you slap me again, right?" Ghost asked, rolling his eyes "Just do it, please."
Roach ignored him as he switched back to his own voice.
"Simon, do you take Mrs. Hand to be your wife?"
Ghost felt his eye twitch.
"No…. No I do not."
"Oh! Good! Now, I present you man and wife!"
Roach lunged forward and slapped Ghost across the face, now twice as hard as before. Ghost swore and fell backwards again, but this time hit the floor like a sack of rocks.
"I hate you." The Englishman sighed, remaining on the floor "I bloody hate you… That was funny though, I'll give you that."
A little bit from my personal life lol. My friend did this to me the other day.