When he saw her fall, the pain in his heart was worse than anything he'd ever experienced. Worse than when his mother died. Worse than all the times his father had brushed him off. For one, brief, white-hot second, it threatened to overwhelm him. He didn't even know if she was alive or already dead. And in that moment, when Legolas saw Tauriel fall, he realized that he loved her and that he was willing to do anything for her.
His father's words from earlier flashed across his mind. Tauriel had just left, intending to save the dwarves for whatever reason. She had tried to get Thranduil's help, but he had refused. When Legolas had stepped in, his father had confronted him, shouting angry words as his back as he followed Tauriel.
"What you feel for her is not real, Legolas. It is nothing."
No, Thranduil was utterly wrong. There was no love in him.
Legolas suddenly felt the overwhelming urge to avenge her, and to deliver the pain he was now felt to those who had felled her. Without even thinking, he pulled two arrows from his quiver and fired them into the head of the troll. He would save her.
He confronted Bolg, but he could not think, he could only do. The thought of Tauriel dying fueled him on. Afterwards, he would not remember that battle. When the creature finally fell before him, Legolas felt no relief, no sense of victory.
"Tauriel!" Her name ripped from his throat, unbidden and unchecked. He furiously scanned the vacated battlefield until his eyes fell on a crumpled body with a flash of red hair. He had never seen her look so small or so vulnerable. She was perilously still as Legolas ran toward her. He refused to believe that she was dead. "Valar, save her." He whispered as he reached her. Gently, he turned her over, almost afraid to look.
The movement emitted a small cry of pain from her lips, and Legolas breathed out. She was alive, although barely. Her eyes were squeezed shut, her face pale, blood leaking from the corner of her mouth. A black arrow had pierced her shoulder, but it was in no way the only wound.
Slowly, her eyes opened. "Legolas…" she whispered, and he could see relief in her eyes.
He lifted her into his arms. "Come on, Tauriel, let's get you to the healers." She was alive. She would be fine.
She shook her head. "No, Legolas. It's too late for me." She whispered hoarsely, wincing in pain at the sudden movement.
"Eru, don't talk like that! You're going to be fine." He protested.
He reached for the shaft of the arrow in her shoulder. It needed to be taken out before infection set it. Tauriel reached out to stop him and weakly grasped his hand. "It is as the Valar wish, Legolas."
"No!" he cried brokenly, feeling a lump in his throat. "No, Tauriel, they cannot take away the woman I love." He whispered more to himself than to her.
Her eyes widened, and Legolas saw how the light in them was fading. His throat constricted and a sense of panic overtook him. His Tauriel was leaving him.
He squeezed her hand and drew it up to his chest. "It has taken me six hundred years for me to realize how much I love you, and now that I do, it's too late." He pulled her closer. "And in spite of you, and me, and my father, and that blasted dwarf, I still love you, Tauriel."
He brushed his lips across her wrist, and to his surprise, a tear sprang from her eye and trickled down her cheek. She shuddered, her voice thick with tears. "There was never room in my heart for another, Legolas. It was always you."
"I wish I could have saved you." He whispered.
"No, Legolas, there was nothing you could have done. Do not blame yourself." She smiled weakly.
"It seemed our story was just beginning, but somehow it's done. There isn't any time left." He held her tightly to his chest, unwilling to let her go. "You were my one chance at happiness, Tauriel. What am I going to do without you?" he whispered into her hair. She pulled their intertwined hands to her heart.
"Just love, Legolas. Just give what you can give, and you'll get all that you deserve." Another tear escaped her eye.
"I'll give all that I have, Tauriel."
"And do not blame the dwarves, Legolas. They really aren't so bad."
He still couldn't help but think she would be alive if it weren't for the dwarves, but he forced himself to nod.
The light in her eyes was fading rapidly, he could see. It was obvious she was in a lot of pain, but she never once complained. It be over soon, Legolas realized. Tenderly, he laid her on his lap and cradled her in her arms.
He felt a strange sense of peace; the same peace reflected on her face as she looked at him, drinking in his face as if memorizing every feature.
"Namárië, Legolas." She finally whispered, squeezing his hand.
"Namárië, meleth nín." He forced out.
Her eyes slid closed and a wisp of a smile appeared in her face a brief second. Stars. She must be seeing stars. He hoped there were some for her in the Halls of Mandos.
Her chest rose and fell once, and then no more. When he could no longer feel her heartbeat, Legolas let go of her hand and placed her limp hand across her chest.
"May the peace of the Valar guide you swiftly to Mandos' Halls." He whispered, feeling a tear trickle down his cheek.
He did not know how long he stayed there, holding Tauriel's now-still body. She looked peaceful, as if she was asleep. Even in death, she was still beautiful. After a while, he heard footsteps and felt a hand on his shoulder. He did not have to look up to know it was his father.
He felt another tear slide across the bridge of his nose. Thranduil squeezed his shoulder.
"If this is love, I do not want it." He choked out. His father's hand left his shoulder and Legolas almost missed its comforting warmth. "Take it from me. Please." He broke off, tears threatening. "Why does it hurt so much?"
To his father, Legolas sounded like the tiny, scared elfling he had not been in centuries. The little boy asking where his mother had gone. His son's pain reflected Thranduil's own. He paused before answering.
"Because it was real." Thranduil whispered. Quietly, he stepped away, letting Legolas make his peace with Tauriel on his own.
Legolas picked up her fallen bow and lay it across her chest. Goodbye, daughter of the forest. I hope there's starlight where you're going. I won't forget you.
He leaned down and pressed a kiss to her forehead. His one taste of joy, gone.
She is far, far away from me. She walks in starlight in another world.
It was just a dream…
"I cannot go back." Legolas told his father. Thranduil turned around, his face emotionless.
"Where will you go?"
Legolas paused. Anywhere. As long as memories of Tauriel wouldn't haunt him. Greenwood was too alone without her. It was too painful. "I do not know." He admitted.
He almost wanted Thranduil to tell him what to do, but it had been a long time since he had advised his son like that. Legolas waited, and when his father did not speak, he took a step forward.
Thranduil's voice stopped him. "Go to the North. Meet with the Noldor Elves. There is a young man from the Dunedain among them. His father, Arathorn, was a good man. His son might turn out to be a great one."
"What was his name?" Legolas asked, although inwardly thinking that Lord Elrond would never take in some human child.
"To Lord Elrond he is known as Estel. His true name, you must discover for yourself."
Legolas nodded. He couldn't bring himself to say anything else. He started forward again, but again he was stopped by his father's voice.
"Your mother loved you Legolas, more than anything. More than life itself… and I loved her as well." A flicker or regret flashed across the Elvenking's face, but was quickly hidden.
"I know." Legolas managed, finally meeting his father's piercing gaze. No words were needed between father and son. Legolas understood. This was Thranduil's way of comforting him. They had both lost the women they loved.
Thranduil started forward, as if to hug his son. He stopped short and instead partly reached out toward Legolas before bringing his hand back to his heart. Legolas halfheartedly copied the action. The unspoken hug. How many times had they exchanged no more affection than that? It was ceremonial, but both of them understood that it meant all of the love neither father nor son ever put into words.
"Namárië, ion nín."
The repeat of Tauriel's last words hit Legolas like a knife to the wound, but it also reminded of her parting wish for him. Just love.
He turned back to his father and closed the gap between them. He placed his hand on his father's shoulder, and Thranduil responded in kind. He felt another tear well up in his eye.
"Namárië, Ada."
I'll give all that I have, and take what little I deserve.
Namárië-Farewell
meleth nín-My love
ion nín-my son
Ada-Father
So, shameless fixing of BOTFA. Hope you enjoyed!
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