Because being a teenager is way too much pressure. I wanted to write a longer one-shot… I hope I did okay! The ending could be left up to interpretation.

TweekxRebecca

'Just try, try, try again. One more time.'

It's something my mom had always said.

I remember being five years old when mom and dad surprised me with that clunky bike they had bought at a garage sale. I remember it was a dull green, like a bruised arm with small patches of rust. Brown, jagged, dangerous… just one scratch could seemingly inflict lockjaw.

All and all it was intimidating.

It had no training wheels. It had no support. It didn't have that safety net to catch me when I fell. I had to learn to be independent and to hold myself up.

'Come on. Just try again!'

My mom would shout again and again as I landed in the grass, my bike tipping over for the fifth time in a row. I had grass stains and skinned knees with tears brimming in my eyes… But I still got back on. I'm not sure why, those words stuck to me. Like gum at the bottom of a sneaker, it was sticky advice that was there with me every step of the way.

I always try. And if I fail, I try harder. Something's you gotta try to keep, something's you should try for. But, should I 'try, try again?' or give up?

I don't want to get too close. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to end up too dependent on anyone. I don't have a safety net, nothing with break my fall and I'm afraid to fall down.

I'm scared.

I was in a daze, watching the snowflakes barreling around me in white cloud. It was an odd summer day. Why was it snowing? There was no possible explanation for it. It was a hiccup, a miscommunication of some kind in the clouds. It had to be.

There's something about the season, it's a special time. It's about warm sunlight that would feather my skin, the smell of warm air and dirt and that person… That particular person that weaseled her way into my life.

I sat on the bus stop seat, glancing both ways down the road, checking if the bus had sneaked passed me. I was waiting… Waiting for her to come home to me. Waiting for her like always.

I took a fleeting look down at the cup in my hands. Coffee was my gift. I brought it closer to my body. It was my gift to her and I wanted it warm. It's all I had to offer anyways.

I could hear the rumble of an engine broke me from my thoughts as a public bus came to a halt. I hopped out of my seat in excitement. The doors parted. I anxiously gawked at those stairs. I think I was holding my breath as I felt my brain swimming.

Lately, I've been capsizing over in thought. Lots of, 'what if's' more than anything.

At first I saw black loafers and then I saw black nylons that led up a skirt. The girl with private school uniform trudged down the bus steps.

We do this every day but yet, I feel like we haven't seen each other in years.

The girl with the wild brunette curls let out a tiny squeal as she stumbled down the rest of the steps, jumping in my arms. "Tweek!" she cried out happily, squeezing her arms around me.

"Rebecca." I buried my face in her hair. She always had this familiar smell that clung to her. It wasn't clichéd like roses or cotton candy, no. The smell was clean, like fabric softener.

The bus took off with a sudden gust of air, rolling away to its next destination. I didn't even notice. I was absorbed in the moment.

Rebecca's eyes flickered to mine as she hopped on her tip toes. It was like an oak tree compared to a Gardner snake, I stood tall over her tiny figure. I had to lean down to her to even reach her. The problems with being small I suppose.

She gave me a simple smile, "Can I kiss you?"

I nodded with a grin as she brushed my lips with hers innocently.

I could taste her chapstick, I hated it. It had a… bizarre twinge when it reached me but she wasn't the type to wear gloss. Rebecca had a habit of chewing her lips. If she had no chapstick her lips were rough and sharp like sandpaper.

The way she would shrink up her lips and freeze in my arms, it was sweet and cute. Most guys I knew would have called her a bad kisser but I liked that about Rebecca. She was always on edge, she was always trembling. That made it all the more endearing because she understood how I was feeling.

The brunette parted away from me, her hands entangling mine, leaning into my forehead with a content sigh. I could barely hear her as she whispered out, "H-happy summer break."

"Ngh, happy summer break." I repeated, shutting my eyes.

In the middle of a summer blizzard, there we were, clutching each other like we hadn't seen one another in so long and I guess in a way… it was going to be true.

The poodle haired girl broke away and started to tap her hands together nervously. Even how close we had become our tics came out every so often… like a hiccup of sorts. "How was your day, s-sweetie?"

"Pretty good, worked my butt off in the coffee shop. How was your last day of senior year?"

Rebecca leaned into my side as we started down the cracked and uneven sidewalk. "Studying," She let out a little puff of white. "I'm just a little c-concerned about college."

I had to laugh, Rebecca, the honors student… the brainiac, nervous about school? That was crazy.

"Rebecca, you're the only girl I know who gets a thrill studying for a test after the fact. You got what… a perfect score on your ACT's? You'll be fine. SAT's don't stand a chance."

The girl sulked before jerking at my arm, she was awfully feisty that day. I couldn't help but let out a little titter. "I want to be a brain surgeon. And, I'll be the best one I can be. I want this Tweek really, really bad."

The poodle haired girl looked so determined. She had ambitions. She was going places. A lot of people thought I would be jealous because I wasn't going to college but it's quite the contrary.

I'm proud of her. Amazed by her. Maybe a just a little envious.

When she was in public school with me, she was like a sponge… absorbing all the information she could.

Rebecca passed every class while I struggled. I was always watching Rebecca from afar as I was in the back of the class, taking medication and drinking coffee to calm my nerves.

And I tried too.

It wasn't like I slacked off like Craig or Kenny, no; I honestly couldn't pass with a grade higher than a D. And that always got under my skin just a little, but not much anymore. At least I graduated.

As for Rebecca… Well, she was taken out of school after a little fiasco with me. I got her public education privileges taken away.

Her father found me… erm, messing around with Rebecca in her room when we were supposed to be studying. I mean, it was only a few kisses but we were both together in a relationship. And it wasn't like we were having sex, Jesus Christ man, that's way too much pressure!

Her father overreacted and placed her in a catholic school in an attempt to straighten her out. I was banned from her house indefinitely and Mark was going to kick my ass. What the hell? It's not like I was some random guy and like I said, it's not like we were playing, 'hide the weasel'.

Jesus, ngh! Now I sound like Kenny! I mean… we always saw each other secretly behind our parent's back. My parents didn't even know that Rebecca even existed and her parents… self explanatory. Maybe it was because she was a year younger? I really didn't know.

I was snapped out of my thoughts when she tugged on my arm again with a weak, 'Tweek'.

"Huh?" I blinked, turning my attention back to Rebecca.

"School, we we're talking about school."

"Oh! Right…You got the scholarships. You were accepted. What else do you possibly want Rebecca?"

Her gaze softened, beaming up to me she said, "A nice day alone with the boy I adore."

"Suck up."

Rebecca pouted like a little girl, her cheeks inflated and her eyes narrowed as we sloshed through the slush. I let out a chuckle, pulling an arm around her shoulder and squished her into my side.

The brunette avoided my eyes, her face turning that pink color. She cleared her throat, pulling at her skirt. "My apologies for still being in this dorky uniform, I didn't have time to change today. At least you're not one of those deviant types that like the whole, 'school-girl' scenario."

I shrugged sheepishly. "I'm not technically turned on by it but you do look very, -ngh- charming and a bit appealing." I tried to choose my words wisely. I didn't want to be considered a perv or something… that would be the worst, man.

"Only a bit appealing?" Rebecca was the outspoken and bold one if you couldn't tell, not me.

"You look very attractive." I corrected myself.

"Thank you," she curtsied goofily. "As do you."

I noticed I was still gripping the coffee in my hand. I couldn't tell what temperature it was on the account of my trembling hands but I offered it to her, nearly slamming her in the face with Styrofoam cup.

"Oh, is that for me?" she winced at how the cup was just millimeters away from her face.

"Yeah, I thought I'd make you something warm because it's cold." I said almost dumbly. "I missed you yesterday… Too bad you couldn't go to the bonfire at Craig's last night."

Craig was still Craig but surprisingly found someone to date. It was none other than Kenny McCormick. The boring asexual found someone to share his love of cigarettes and guinea pigs with. Still dating off and on after high school but I didn't think they would last long. In fact, everyone has down thirty bucks that they wouldn't last another summer together.

"S-sorry, did you have fun?"

"A little," I rolled my eyes, recalling last night's adventures. "Kenny dared me to drink a whole bottle of coffee liquor. I got a little messed up, I didn't think it'd hit me that fast. I got a bit of a headache today. Karma sure is a nasty woman."

"Serves you right," she giggled. "I wish I could have gone but my parents have tightened those bars on my windows. I'm supposed to be grounded."

She did have bars on her window, that wasn't a metaphor. Rebecca had gotten the middle bar loose enough to tug out for quick escapes to do God knows what with me, because you know, I'm totally wild and crazy… At least, in the Cotswolds family's eyes.

So, it was like some kind of weird Rapunzel story. But, she didn't have long hair and she leaped from her window ceil like a suicide attempt. I'd catcher her. Of course, it wasn't graceful like those movies where it's a perfect catch and everyone laughs…No.

Jesus Christ, last time she jumped... God, her skirt ended up flying over her head. I, thankfully, grabbed her but sorta… botched the catch. Rebecca was half out of my arms and spilling onto my shoulder with her skirt over her head and her undergarments flashing the whole block. If people were around they would have thought I was trying to take advantage of her or something. I was grunting, trying to get a grip on her and she was squealing and writhing like a worm.

Then for a finale, I lost my balance and we went stumbling into the rose bushes in her yard.

I remember how bad the thorns were sticking out of our skin. We were all banged up and scratched. How I got her back into her room was another fiasco itself but it was worth it. If I can remember right, we just spent the night wandering around town.

The coffee shop came into view and I pulled her closer into my side as if hiding her in my extremely lanky figure. We slipped past the large glass window and into the alley. We ran right up the apartment stairs.

I rummaged my pockets for the key as we stood at the door step. She was a little impatient… or excited. I couldn't tell.

"Come on latchkey, hurry up so we can start our summer break adventure-" I cut her off with a peck on the lips; it was enough to stun her for a moment.

My parents were in the café still working… Even though I know they couldn't possibly hear us but I didn't want them knowing my business. I know they wouldn't even care but still, I didn't want them to do anything weird. It was too much pressure! One word: Metaphors.

With a twist of the lock, the door opened and I brushed her lower back, practically hurrying her inside and up to my bedroom.

I hated my parents… those metaphors, they don't make any sense!

Rebecca let her heavy book bag practically atom bomb down onto my bed as she began to shuffle out of her puffy coat and loafers. Why was her book bag heavy on the last day? I dunno, you tell me, man.

I ambled over to my tiny bird-cage, checking on how my bird friend 'Creamer' was doing. I wiggled a finger through the cage as the cockatoo twitched and wobbled its head.

I heard little pitter-patter of feet behind me and a loud yip. I turned, "Hey Rebecc- AGH!"

Rebecca had lost her footing, knocking into me. Good thing I grabbed her when I did or she would have taken us and Creamer out. "Nylon stockings and hardwood isn't a great idea." The corners of my lips twitched in amusement.

She withdrew herself from my arms, surprised. "Oh." Was all she said. The girl plopped on the side of my mattress, propping up a leg before unrolling the long, sleek fabric agonizingly slow. "What do you wanna do? I'm not in the mood to make snowmen, that's for sure."

It was strange, it was like, her tone held something I couldn't read. It turned my stomach into knots, or like snakes. Snakes that stirred and wiggled in the pits of my guts.

My mind and body went on overdrive. Was that an invitation of some sorts?! I was too young to be seduced! My thoughts went something a little like this:

'Ngh! What if she was trying to seduce me?! What should I do? What do I say? Do I pull a Kenny and ask if she wants to, "pet my anaconda in my pants?" AGH! NO! That's terrible!'

I turned away from her abruptly and I snatched up a random DVD from a stack on my shelf quickly. "Wanna watch a movie? I was t-t-thinking a comedy." I fumbled with the box fretfully.

I didn't hear anything from her.

I peered back at her curiously. Rebecca was tugging at the rim of her skirt in attempt to cover her bare legs. "I-I like documentaries."

I didn't hear her. I think it was the third time I had ever seen her legs in three years. I couldn't help stare at them like they were some kind of aliens popping out of her black skirt to say hello. Rebecca noticed, uttering anxiously. "Can I help you?"

"You have nice legs. I wish you would show them off more often." I said rather smugly.

Since when did I talk like that? I was acting like I was full of piss and vinegar.

That was enough to send her into a blushing mess, holding her cheeks and letting out a low whine. "Agh! Why do you have to say things like that! It's so embarrassing! It's way too much pressure." She mimicked me.

Rebecca then started to wiggle, turning a deeper shade of red. She could barely control her speech. Yeah, she was embarrassed.

"I hate uniforms. I hate them. I despise them. I loathe them. I adhere a great animosity towards them. A-n-i-m-o-s-i-t-y."

Rebecca wrestled out of her sweater mid-spelling, down to her blouse. Her head popped out and her hair only seemed to become even puffier and her face ever the more flushed.

"Someone is being a show off today, in more ways than one." I chuckled.

"You try wearing fifty layers of clothes that need to be perfect. Thank god today was the last day of senior year." She laid herself out on my bed with a sigh, her face returning to that soft pale color instead of the almost neon red that matched her hair clips.

She always had that naïve vibe to her. The girl who seemed to be clueless about anything dirty. Lord knows Cartman had to ask, 'Ey! Are you drillin' your wife's clam or what?' and Rebecca had to turn to me with that puzzled look, uttering, 'seafood?' I think I turned a color brighter than she previously had, covering my horrified expression. Innuendos of any kind just flew right over her head.

And what was with everyone wanting to know about our personal life? Ngh, I mean, I don't ask other people what they do or don't behind closed doors.

"Tweek," Rebecca gestured to me with her hands. "Come here."

I crawled into her arms shakily as if I was hiding my form into her embrace. "Can I kiss you?" was all she said in a soft whisper.

I gave her a peculiar glance, "You don't have to ask all the time, you know? You can kiss me when you want. That's the thing about boyfriend and girlfriends, it's in the contract."

The poodle haired girl nodded simply, chewing at her bottom lip hesitantly. I know asking for… things can be weird or even awkward but kissing? It was too overly polite of her. Everything about Rebecca shouted chivalry to such a high degree.

Her lips met mine with a meek and shaky breath, I could still taste the twinge of chapstick and how nervous she had become as her lips scrunched up. I think Rebecca could be described in a kiss to be honest.

I parted, nuzzling her face and letting my head rest under her chin. My eyes snapped shut and I listened to her breathing. It was quiet between us; I think we were both busy in thought.

My head was definitely buzzing. I could barely tell if it was my head or her heart beat. It sounded like a humming-bird with the occasional, 'thump' that was a little off beat.

And, I couldn't think. My heart was really starting to get heavy. 'Just try, try, try again. One more time.' I could hear that sentence echo.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I couldn't pretend like everything was fine. I couldn't push it into the back of my brain anymore. I was counting off the days to begin with and now… there isn't any time left. No more days to cross off.

"Do the underpants gnomes still bother you?"

I was snapped out of my thoughts. "Huh? Oh… Yeah," I gave a nervous twitch, I wasn't exactly cured of seeing them… even with medication. "Last night they came out of the walls and started rummaging through my drawers."

"I'll protect you," she squeezed me tight. "Even if we gotta stay up all night, I'll protect my caffeinated sweetie from those mean ol' gnomes!"

I buried my face in her neck. I really didn't like talking about things other people can't see.

"But, if I spend too much time in your room people will get the wrong impression." Rebecca hissed as I feathered her neck in kisses. "They'll think we're obscene or spending time under the sheets. People always think perverse."

I bit down roughly causing her to yip and nearly fly off the bed like a match was lit under her. "You wish we'd spend most of our under the sheets." I shot back.

There's that side of me again! Piss and vinegar.

Her cheeks turned that bright color again, covering her mouth. "Agh! Tweek! Don't say things like that!" she muffled passed her hands. "You're the perverse one! I think Kenneth is rubbing off on you!"

I yanked at her hands, peeking at her for a second before she would hide her face again. "Coming from the girl who secretly reads those trashy romance novels? The kind that says, 'manhood' or 'length' instead of penis."

"It's more poetic and aesthetically pleasing to read then… penis." She could barely make out the last part. "It's romantic."

"It's porn in novel form. And besides," I got closer, smirking all the while. "You're in a boy's room, having said boy cuddle you on his bed and letting him nibble on your neck. Now that's perverse."

"We're both perverse then?"

"Looks like it, hey," I could feel a toothy smile spread across my lips. "Let's fool around."

She pulled away, giving me a wry look before we both started to laugh, holding each other tighter. Rebecca's fingers parted through my messy locks, patting them down. I hated my cowlicks smoothed down.

It was quiet for a moment. I could hear the occasionally chirp from Creamer in the corner.

Rebecca spoke suddenly, "Do you love me Tweek?"

"Love is a strong wor-"

"I-Is there someone else? I mean, have there been others?"

It was out of nowhere and it hit me right between the eyes. The way she uttered it was cold, heartless even. A complete contrast to the mood just a few minutes ago.

"Huh? Of course not." my eyebrows knitted together. I was incredibly confused, weren't we just laughing a second ago? "Jesus Christ, what's wrong?"

"You feel distant. Different. Maybe even… bizarre." I moved away from her with a hurt expression as she curled up, away from me. Rebecca hummed sullenly, "Tweek, what's on your mind?"

I don't want to get too close. I don't want to get hurt. I don't want to end up too dependent on anyone and I don't have a safety net, nothing with break my fall. I'm afraid to fall down.

Yet she could read through me.

"It's just well… You're leaving to college. I've been thinking about it a lot lately. I guess the whole thing is bothering me."

We sat as from each other as we could and an unnatural tension surfaced. It felt like there was a black hole in the room, sucking up who we were and spitting out a shell of what was, like cicada molts.

I let out a defeated sigh, I had to tell her. "…I don't think I can do this anymore, Rebecca."

I could hear her breath hitch in her throat. I don't think she was expecting it. I don't think… I was even expecting it either... it just came out so fast.

"I know we're just going to break up later anyways. It's way too much pressure." I fiddled with my sheets, trying not to look at her when I spoke.

God, seeing Rebecca cry was the worst; I didn't want to see that. I didn't like making anyone cry. I didn't want to do this but it had to be done. There was a price for getting hurt and I didn't want to experience it.

"I had a feeling this was going to happen today." Her face dropped along with her eyes, she brought both of her hands to her mouth, mumbling into them. "I'm- I'm not leaving to college until a week or so, can't we just enjoy ourselves now?"

I tightened my grip on the cloth under me. "No."

Her eyes darted all around, avoiding me. Rebecca still spoke in her hands but she began to visibly tremble. "I thought you said that you were just thinking about this!"

"I break up with you now or you leave me in a week, it's all the same. I don't want to get hurt when you leave because I have to stay behind to pick up the pieces."

She bit her lips vigorously, tapping her hands together. I started to jitter and wince. Our tics becoming evident by each passing moment.

And Rebecca still refused to look at me.

"I-I don't want to break up. I-I'll come right back. We can m-make this work. I Promise y-yo-you. P-r-o-m-i-s-e." her tics and her trembling voice made it even harder for her to speak coherently.

"You'll be in college, thousands of miles away." I grunted. "How will that work?"

"I'll call you, we can video chat... G-godammit, I'll do anything."

"…You'll meet someone else."

"I don't want anyone else. Please, please don't do this to me." She begged, letting out tiny dry sobs. "You said that we would at least try the long distance relationship."

"I know, but maybe we shouldn't. I mean, how many people who date in high school actually stay together?" I asked in all seriousness. My dry eyes met her puffy red ones as we both sat there speechless. I don't know anyone… neither she.

We sat there staring at each other. I could see her quivering while I knew my hands were probably doing so as well.

"I'm just saying Rebecca, you're going to meet people, tons of people. You're going to change in those five years. I want you to grow. I want you to have fun and experience things without the weight of me. You'll meet someone else, someone new. I'm not by any means the only guy in the world. Please, just do this for me."

"Fine," Rebecca slumped, her hands falling to her sides. "...if this is what you want, I won't stop you. I won't be the clingy type and tell you anything different." She was overpowered. Defeated. She gave up.

We were both silent for what seemed like hours. Hours of long, awkward silence.

"So that's it, huh?" she muttered.

"I guess so." I croaked out quietly.

"Well, we had a good run, I can't say we didn't." she smiled brightly, as if nothing had happened. A ruse. "Three years is impressive and I'll always treasure our time together."

…And that was that.

Days came and went and I said goodbye to Rebecca. She left for college and never came back. It wasn't surprising either… I think she had found someone new and moved on but I haven't heard anything from her. It was like she had disappeared right off the face of the earth.

Maybe she was like the gnomes? The medication was taken in larger doses and both she and the underpants thieves faded away.

Maybe Rebecca Coltwolds never even existed.

Days turned to years as I sat on that bench, holding a lukewarm coffee, watching the sun shine rays through the clouds. An overcast summer day. An otherwise dreary afternoon.

I sat there to experience something that once was and what wasn't anymore. I waited. Where I always waited. I'd wait forever too.

A sound of a rumbling engine and the sound of air rushing from the break broke away my thoughts. Breaking away all my doubts. My eyes rose towards the door as it slipped aside, opening.

I nearly hopped from my seat like it had combusted under me. My eyes were straining on the stairs.

A pair of coffee-colored nylons and a dark skirt came into view as a girl dressed more natural and professional wandered down the steps.

Her brown eyes caught mine, widening before she stumbled down the bus stairs in her heels, jumping in my arms. "Tweek!" she cried out happily.

"Rebecca." I said with a content sigh, burying my face in her neck. The smell of fabric softener reached me. Her smell was the same. It was the only thing that was the same about her.

The bus sped off, down the street, off to its next destination. I could only wonder where.

"You waited for me." was all she could muster.

The poodle haired woman's hands reached the sides of my face, dragging me down to her lips forcibly. I could taste the hint of her lip gloss… Rebecca's lips were incredibly softer than before as well. Everything about Rebecca had changed. Her height, her look... Even that nervous tic of hers… the one where she would scrunch up her lips and freeze up in my arms went away too.

I pulled away, entangling my hands in her smaller ones, leaning into her forehead. "Ngh, h-happy summer break." I sputtered gleefully.

"Happy summer br-break." she repeated, her eyes fluttering shut.

We enjoyed that small moment of reunion in the middle of the summer overcast day. Like old lovers reuniting after so many years passed… and this time it was true. Two whole years at college.

She released me, her eyes overflowing with tears as she spoke softly. "How was your day, s-sweetie?"

"Pretty good, I worked my butt off in the café. You?" I gave a sad smile, trying my hardest not to cry myself.

Rebecca held my arm loosely, leaning into my side as we started down the dangerously uneven sidewalks.

I guess persistence does pay off in the end.

…

At least, that's what I would say if it were true. In reality I was alone on that bus stop seat, sipping a lukewarm coffee.

I was a teenager no more but everything in my life was frozen in time… Nothing had changed except for the calendars with the days crossed off in red ink. The day she was supposed to come home is still circled and left untouched.

I was so distracted, I didn't even notice someone standing beside me. The stranger touched my shoulder. They nearly spooked me right out of my seat as I jumped under their touch.

My head snapped up to the mysterious person, almost with excitement. Could it be…?

My face fell and I shied away from his eyes. "Craig, leave me alone."

The man in the blue chullo was taking a long hard look down at me. His expression flat, like usual, like stale soda. "Tweek, I don't think she's coming back." He said unwavering, his thumb rubbing my shoulder comfortingly, "Just go home."

"You just don't understand," I spat angrily. "You and Kenny still have each other. You don't know how I feel."

"You're right, I don't," Craig brought himself down, sitting beside me. "But it's not right to torture yourself like this. Rebecca isn't coming back."

At first, I didn't feel it… then it came crushing down onto me like a tidal wave. It hurt my heart and my lungs, my collarbones… everywhere. Down to my finger nails, everything ached.

It was true.

And the truth hurt.

Maybe she gave up? Maybe she thought I was mad at her? Maybe, maybe, maybe… All I know is that she wasn't here anymore. I should have stayed with her when I could have.

I always fail. And if I fail, I try harder not to. Something's you gotta try to keep, something's you should try for. And I gave up. I put down that bike and I walked away. I'm a failure.

Craig and Kenny still stayed together, even after college. What a fool I'd been. She could have still been here but I drove her away. It was my fault.

"I can't leave yet," I glanced over to Craig, giving a hollow smile and pointed to the watch on my wrist. "Her bus should be here soon."

Craig didn't speak a word, his face contorting into a grimace. "You're right, I guess I'll let you wait then... This is your decision." He got to his feet, walking off and disappearing up the street. Here I thought he'd be a little more supportive but it is Craig.

My eyes lowered back down to the road in front of me, peering each way occasionally.

Until she comes back, I'll always remain in that bus seat with a coffee in hand. I have a small glimmer of hope that she'll come back and when she does, I'll try this time, I will.

Even if that means an eternity, I'll wait.

Every single summer break until I die, I'll wait.

Delusion or not, please come back soon.