Hallo! I was forced into co-writing this story by Kyu Furi. Though I wrote most of this chapter because I was bored so I wrote. WEE!
Summary: An emo, a navy cadet and a nut job unite, for truth, justice and COOKIES! They are TEAM BAKA! Folllow their adventures in Naruto-verse!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. If I did, we would be in it and Sasuke and Naruto would be glued to eachothers faces. (ew...)
Warnings: Swearing, swearing and more... swearing. I don't write smut.
Three OC's! Mine, Kyu's and our friend Matt's.
Now on with the story!
Team Baka
"What the fuck is going on?!"
"This… is… weird."
"What is that?!"
Tsunade eyed the interrogation chief with distrust. It sounded a little too twisted to be true. Ibiki merely handed her the files of data that had been compiled by his scribe as he questioned the three intruders about their purpose for being in the village. Groaning she took the thin file and flipped it open.
Data File on intruders found in section F of the eastern forests.
3:54pm Thursday 1st May
Questioner: Ibiki Morino
Attendant: Izumo Kamizuki
Subject One
Name: unknown
Age: 13-14 approx
DoB: unknown
PoB: unknown
Gender: female
Hair: white/grey
Eyes: amber
Height: 5ft approximately
Weight: 120 lb approximately
Noticeable features: feline pinna and coccyx, with black pelage, speech impediment.
Chakra: average for age, good control, suggests previous training.
Muscles: Slightly above average for a female of the subjects age
Notes: Subject refused to consent to measurements or questioning and fought against the attending chuunin in an uncontrolled way. Also knows many swear words, and uses them liberally. Has told both questioner and attendant to 'fuck' themselves with a steel 'dildo'.
Subject Two
Name: unknown
Age: 13-14 approx
DoB: unknown
PoB: unknown
Gender: female
Hair: black/brown
Eyes: silver/grey
Height: 5ft 5inch
Weight: 160 lb approximately
Noticeable Features: tattoos over right arm-forearm and left leg-calf. Tongue and nose pierced with small hoops of a silver-ish metal. Most likely nickel.
Chakra: slightly above average for age, low control, suggests no previous training
Muscles: slightly above average for female of subjects age
Notes: Subject has not spoken a word to the attending chuunin since being brought in. Also insisted on moving herself rather than being moved physically by the attending chuunin.
Subject Three
Name: unknown
Age: 15 approx
DoB: unknown
PoB: unknown
Gender: male
Hair: blonde/brown
Eyes: blue/grey
Height: 5ft 7inches
Weight: 140 approx
Noticeable Features: wears glasses
Chakra: average, average control, speculation over training or natural control
Muscles: above average, signs of hard physical training
Notes: Subject demanded to know what was going on repeatedly, shows signs of panic, and attacked subject 1 and accused her of doing something. (quote) "WHAT DID YOU FUCKING DO?!"(end quote)
Tsunade placed the file back on her desk, looking up at Ibiki.
"Okay bring them here." At least it means I don't have to do paperwork.
Ten minutes and several chakra enforced restraints later, Ibiki returned. This time accompanied by six chuunin and three teenagers. Tsunade looked over the three strangers, scrutinizing them. The first was surrounded by three of the chuunin, tied up and held in place. Her eyes screamed murder as she fought against the restraints. Growling and swearing as she did so. The second girl only had one chuunin standing close behind her. She was frowning as if trying to solve a difficult conundrum and occasionally glancing at her fellows. Her hands were twitching in nervousness and her mouth was clamped tightly shut as if to counter her neighbours noise. The third and final was the only male of the three. He was being held back by restraints like the first, but he wasn't trying to attack the chuunin holding him; he was after the other screeching teen. He was turned fully towards her; trying to struggle out of his position and leap at her. Screaming obscenities at her and apparently ignoring the presence of the Hokage herself. 'Now I know why the quiet one is in the middle.' Tsunade thought to herself as she stood to address the strange outlanders. "Who are you and what business have you here?"
"I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!" the silvette screamed at the boy, whilst trying to jerk her arms free from the chuunin's grasp unsuccessfully. The male kicked out at her but was brought up short by the two chunin holding his arms back
"How the hell did this happen then?!"
"HOW THE FUCK SHOULD I KNOW DICKHEAD?!"
"RETARD!"
"FUDGEFUCKER!"
"Both of you SHUT UP!" the Godaime yelled whacking both of them across the head. The boy swore and wobbled on his feet, dazed from the blow. The girl suddenly went limp and collapsed to a sitting position on the floor; dragging the unprepared chunin with her, before saying "Ow." quietly, her ears pressed flat to her head. Her ears… her cat ears. And tail. Tsunade stared at the girls head where two black furred cat ears lay, cowed from the blow. "…well that's something you don't see everyday."
Six chunin and an agreement to behave later and Tsunade sat back in her chair, with the three facing her, the brunette had yet to speak a word, but silently sat between the other two.
Tsunade turned to face the silvette, deciding that she was most likely to be in charge of… whatever this group was. "First question: Who are you and what is your business here?" The teen lifted her head as she was spoken to, and frowned. "That's two questions". Tsunade glared at the annoying 'hybrid' as she decided to call her, and reached under her desk for her spare bottle of sake. She took a swig "You still have to answer both." she explained, not trying to correct herself.
"Well… how do we know we can trust you?" The still unnamed teen asked, in all seriousness.
"You don't." Tsunade said bluntly. "You still have to answer though." The silvette looked deep in thought, then looked at her fellows and shrugged. She pointed to herself "I'm Danie." She pointed at the silent brunette "She's Sarah." Then she leaned forward slightly to reach her arm past her and pointed at the now quiet boy "He's Matt." She returned her hand to her lap and looked up at Tsunade.
"Go on." She encouraged, glad that they were finally getting somewhere. The silvette, now known as Danie, just frowned again, and mumbled something under her breath that Tsunade heard as "Yeah 'cause you're really gonna believe us anyway." She raised her eyebrows at this. 'What could be so unbelievable that even I wouldn't believe it?'
Danie took a deep breath "Wecomefromanotherworldwhereyou'rejustcartooncharactersandwedon'tknowhowwegothereandwedon'tknowhowtoleave" She got it all out in the one breath… and Tsunade hadn't understood a word of it. "Can you repeat that?" She requested, taking another swig of her bottle of sake. Danie repeated herself, but slower this time.
"We come from another world. Where you are just cartoon characters and we don't know how we got here and we don't know how to leave." Danie winced at how silly that sounded and took another breath "But I swear it's not my fault!"
Tsunade just stared. Either this girl was an absolute loon 'A definite possibility' Or something very strange has happened. She decided it must be the latter. After all the girl had cat ears, that was hardly something you could blame on insanity. Plus there were three people… Tsunade had to find out more about this. She turned to the brunette, Sarah. "What do you have to say in all this?" she gestured at the three. Sarah just looked at her hands
"…"
'How informative' Tsunade thought, looking her over. She decided to work on it later. She took a swig of sake and pointed a shaky finger at Matt. "What about you?" He glared at Danie again and then looked at Tsunade.
"I have no idea what's going on. I was just sitting in Danie's house, with her and Sarah and then I was here. But I know that somehow it's Danie's fault." Said girl made a sound of protest but quieted when both Matt and Tsunade sent death glares in her direction. Tsunade sat and thought for a moment. She could try to find some way of getting them back to where they came from… but that would take some time. She couldn't have them locked up in the Hokage tower the whole time. But she couldn't let people know what had happened. There would be mass panic. Then, she had an idea.
"Ibiki. Get these kids some proper clothes and find them a place to stay. They're going to be staying for a while."
"What's going to happen to us?" Tsunade jumped. Those were the first words she'd heard come out of Sarah's mouth. "Well, we're going to try and find a way to get you home, and in the meantime, you will pretend to be travelling ninja from another village. You will get new names-" Tsunade was interrupted by a squeal from Danie. "Can we pick our own names?" she asked hopefully. Tsunade tried to take another swig of sake but realised that there was none left 'Damn. I should have bought more.' She tossed the empty bottle on the floor, knowing that someone would pick it up later.
"Yes. You can pick your names. But as I was saying, you will get new names, and you will train as ninja, with new equipment. You will live as ninja until we can get you back safely." Tsunade looked at the trio's expressions. Danie was grinning widely. Sarah looked content. And Matt just looked utterly confused. There was a knock on the door. Ibiki walked in, carrying a pile of papers, three sets of clothes, and some keys. He looked at Tsunade.
"Here are suitable clothes, keys to a three bedroom apartment where they can stay, and some extra papers I was told to send up to you." Tsunade pulled a face as the new mound of papers was placed on her desk. She then took the clothes and gave a set each to the teens, making sure to give them the appropriate sizes. She then tossed the keys to Sarah.
"Hey! How come she gets to carry the keys!" Danie protested, tail twitching in agitation.
"Because, Danie, She seems least likely to loose them." Danie looked indignant, but then simply folded her arms and 'hmphed'. "Go to the apartment, get changed, and think of suitable names. I will send someone to check on you in two hours. Have fun." At this Tsunade shooed everyone out of the room and, once the doors were fully closed, lay down her head on the desk for a nap.
At The Apartment
"Well this is…"
"Shit?"
"…yeah."
The trio were inspecting the apartment. And not liking what they saw. It was cold, damp and small. But it would do. Danie sat on the sofa, waiting for the others to join her. When they did, she grinned and said "So. This'll be fun!" The others looked at her incredulously. "What?"
Sarah looked out of the window, then back at Danie. "Fun? We're in an anime. In a village full of ninja. With no way to get home. How will this be fun?" Matt decided to add in his own point "Excuse me, but I don't even watch anime so I have no idea what the fuck is going on! I don't even know what half of the things they're talking about mean!"
"Suck it up" Danie slapped him on the head. "Besides we're stuck so we might as well make the most of it" Sarah raised an eyebrow.
"Pffft. You just want to meet Gaara." There was a moment of silence… then the three burst out laughing. After about ten (long) minutes, they calmed down. Danie looked at her watch.
"Okay. We need to think of names, and a team name. I'm Aryuu and Sarah's Yami because they're our OC/fan fiction names. What about Matt?" Sarah and Danie both looked at Matt, who sported a deer-caught-in-headlights look. "I don't know any Japanese names! You come up with one!" He shouted. The girls looked at each other, then Matt, then back at each other. They both grinned and said in unison "Niko." Then the two burst out laughing… again. Matt looked more confused than ever.
"What does Niko mean?" Danie sat up, trying to get her breath back after the laughing fit and said breathlessly, "Smile." …then burst out laughing a third time. Matt looked horrified. But he figured it could be worse. After all… his friends could be seriously evil when it came to things he didn't understand. After another twenty minutes or so of the girls laughing and Matt being pissed, it was quiet again. Sarah looked at Danie. "We need a team name or number." Danie smirked, almost cackling.
"We already have one."
"No way. We can't be called that here! That was just a joke!"
"Of course we can be called that. We're going to leave soon anyway. So it doesn't matter what we're called."
Matt looked at each girl in turn. "What are you talking about?" The girls looked at Matt, then each other, then back at Matt again and said, in unison, "Team Baka."
(end of piece of story thing)
I wrote most of this when I was off school with a cold. It was... interesting. I know I said I would never write a story but I was forced.
Don't know when the next chaapter will be up... whenever me and Kyu can be bothered most likely.
Review and I give u cookies, waffles and Naruto character plushie of your choice! 'Cause I'm nice. XP