Title: It's that time of year again.

Author: Tasogare no Hime

Rating:PG-13

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters or places. They are the property of JK Rowling and I promise to give them back as soon as I'm done playing.

Authors Note: Written for the first line challenge for wolfdogsnake. I also want to thank my Beta reader Dailynn.

Summery: Sirius buys an interesting Christmas gift, and Severus wants to kill him.

"Black...I am never going Christmas shopping with you again! Who in the bloody hell did we have to buy THAT for anyway?"

Remus looked up from his book as he heard the voice and a door slam. Sirius had talked Severus into going Christmas shopping with himself and Harry, hoping to get the cynical Potions Master into the Christmas spirit. The tactic had, apparently, failed.
As he got up to leave the sitting room and join them, the conversation continued.

"For Professor Dumbledore! Isn't it great he'll love it! Here hold this - you have to listen."

"Sirius I don't think you should -"

"BLACK DON"T YOU DA -"

Before Severus could finish shouting at the animagus, a loud sound filled the house, and shook the small cottage, and to Remus it sounded like...

"A gong? Sirius, you bought Professor Dumbledore a gong?" the werewolf asked blinking as he looked at his lovers' gift to their former mentor. Severus had dropped whatever he had been carrying, and Harry was now holding him back from strangling the ecstatic ex-convict.

"Yes isn't it wonderful? It was a steal at five galleons - the storeowner practically threw it at me...can't imagine why. I'm going to get a shower before dinner." Sirius kissed Remus on the cheek before heading down the hall and up the steps toward the bathroom.
Severus watched him leave still fuming.

Harry sighed as he released his hold on the Slytherin. "It's not that bad Snape - I doubt Sirius will even know if Professor Dumbledore doesn't like it."

Severus turned and glared at him. "The problem isn't that he won't like it, Potter! The problem is that the crazy old coot is going to LOVE the blasted thing!"

Remus attempted to calm Severus, but it was no use - the Potions professor continued to rant angrily.

"Oh I'm sure he's never thought about it, but mark my word once he sees the bloody thing he'll realize that he's always wanted one! Then he'll have to find some ridiculous way to incorporate it into his daily life! Which means I'm going to have to hear the damned thing everyday until I retire!" With his tangent now finished, Severus followed the animagus' path to the bathroom.

You should go now Harry. I think the "Punishment Sex" is about to start." Remus said with a wry smile as he began picking up items from where they had fallen. When he looked up again, Harry was still standing there, looking a little green.

"They still do that?"

Remus couldn't stop his grin. "Yes, Harry, they still do that. It's much better than coming home to a house half destroyed because they've been dueling."

Harry gulped audibly and turned to leave, still looking green, and paused at the door. "Happy Christmas, Remus."

"Happy Christmas, Harry." The werewolf replied. Watching the door close, Remus decided to leave everything where it lay and join his lovers in the shower.