Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who
A/N: Don't expect this to make any sense whatsoever. I have a story, called I am Human, which is my idea of how Oswin might become Clara and as I was writing it, I was talking to my roommate about the episode. We came up with the idea that I eventually turned into this story. And so it doesn't make any sense and it isn't supposed to. But I told her I'd write it, so I did. Here it is. Have fun!
Dalek Souffle Party
"Attention! May I have your attention, please?" Oswin called sweetly, projecting her voice to every Dalek within a few miles of her location. "Daleks of the Asylum, listen here! Tomorrow," she continued. "Tomorrow, I am hosting a party at my place. There will be souffles – and you're all invited! Please come!"
Smiling smugly, Oswin sat back in her chair. She glanced over her shoulder at the table where she'd placed the souffles she'd made over the past few days; there were half a dozen, not one edible. Not by human stands anyway.
The next day, she took down the boards that usually kept the Daleks out and opened the door as her guests began to arrive. "SOUF-FLES! SOUF-FLES!" They screamed, having evidently dropped their regular battle cry for the occasion. "SOUF-FLES!"
"Yes, yes, there are souffles," Oswin replied. "Come in, come in!"
The Daleks filed in, still crying their new word. Only six had shown up, Oswin was glad to see. First, it meant there were enough souffles for all of them, and second, it meant her single small room wasn't too crowded.
When all the Daleks were inside, they chanted "souffle" a few more times, then they all stopped as one. After a few seconds of silence, one spoke up. "What ex-actly is a souf-fle?"
"Ah, of course. That's right," Oswin said kindly. "There's not appreciation for things like cooking in your culture, is there?" They all swiveled their heads back and forth, several almost seeming sad about this fact. "Well, a souffle is a type of human food. I made these myself."
Beckoning the Dalek's to follow, she made her way across the room to where she'd set the table for the party. The way she'd set it up, her place was on one side and all the Daleks could fit along the other.
"This is a souffle," she told them, holding up one of the burned catastrophes. Lying smoothly, she added, "They're really good."
The Daleks were intrigued. All six of them rolled forward into their spots and one cautiously dipped its suction cup into the souffle in front of it. The other five (and Oswin) watched it closely, waiting for a reaction.
"This is de-li-cious!" The Dalek declared and they all began eating.
Oswin herself only drank tea. She and the Daleks passed a pleasant afternoon, discussing various aspects of life stuck on this planet. Then they all left.
"Come again!" Oswin called after them as she closed the door. She knew they wouldn't though. A few minutes after they were gone, Oswin pressed the button that would detonate the explosive devices she'd planted in the souffles. She watched as the explosions showed on her screen. She could only hope that they'd caused enough damage to clear her a path out of here.
A/N: Reading this over (and even as I was writing it) I get the idea that our conversation about Oswin baking explosive souffles was a lot more fun than the resulting story about it. If you like, I'll post another chapter that gives what I can remember from our conversation.
Oh, and please read I am Human! Unlike this one, that one does make sense (or is supposed to, anyway, and I've been told it does). It's based around the idea that the Doctor's perceptions were altered by the nanobots when he was looking at Oswin, so she really was human; he just saw her as a Dalek.
Please review!