Exceptions, a naruto fanfic

Exceptions

a/n: I warn you, crack festers here, Ser'sly. :) Enjoy!!

Dis: I don't own Sasuke, Karin, Suigetsu, Juugo, etc. Just the crack they're smoking. :D

Please review at the end.

Sasuke liked Naruto.

So he decided to buy him something.

Ramen.

Yum. :)

…but Sasuke hated ramen.

Irony sucks.

The END.

No, no, that's not the story, this is!

And the tale begins.

It was a fairly bright day as Sasuke strolled down the forest lane, hands stuffed in his pockets uninterestedly. Behind him lay the campsite, in all of its woods-y glory. All of the sticks littering the ground, the rain that would occasionally curse them, and the dirty animals just made him want to skip around in a disgustingly happy manner.

… not.

Sasuke sighed, casting a glance to the sky, and squinted his newly reformed eyes at the sun's shine. Not too long ago, he and Madara had decided split up to go for their biju, and would go their separate ways later that night. The older Uchiha will take the fish with him, and leave Eagle to the eight tailed, as agreed. Sasuke tried not to dwell on what Naruto had in store for him, and instead turned his thoughts to the next week absently.

July 23. His eighteenth birthday. At the moment, no celebrations would be held, and definitely no parties. Not like he wanted one, anyway.

"…I hate birthdays." He muttered aloud, unaware of the presence behind him.

"Awww, don't be like that, Sasuke!" Suigetsu grinned, slinging an arm around his leader's shoulders. Sasuke frowned at the contact but didn't otherwise shake him off, waiting for the other to continue silently. "What? You have some shitty birthday presents your whole life?"

Sasuke rose an eyebrow. "No."

Suigetsu, grinned, putting the stern Uchiha in a headlock and giving him a light noogie as he replied. "You're distracted today. When is your birthday, anyways?"

"Tomorrow. Let go."

Suigetsu dropped him in surprise, cackling. "Tomorrow? Sweet! Do we get to give you your birthday whooping? Ya know, a spank for every year?"

Sasuke scowled at him, running a hand through his now-frizzy hair. "Absolutely."

"…what? Really?"

"No, dumbass."

"Aw."

An hour and many pesterings later, at the makeshift campsite

"Heeeeey, Karin? Guess what?"

"…what." Karin glanced up form the fish she was currently devouring. Suigetsu faintly realized that she looked like the Loch Ness munching on some poor, pathetic human, and quickly banished the thought before he could voice it. And get into trouble, a.k.a. have bruises for the rest of the week.

"Sasuke's birthday's tomorrow."

"That's ni…what?!"

Suigetsu grinned, tossing a rock up and down idly. "Yeah…I thought you, of all people, would know that. I guess you're not a dedicated as I thought." Her face blazed red, and she opened her mouth- probably to retort and call him an idiot- but at that moment, aforementioned Uchiha appeared, brushing twigs from his hair.

"Dedicated to what?" his tone was emotionless as always as he sat next to Juugo and Kisame, reaching for a pierced fish. Juugo nodded to him, going back to thinking quietly and most definitely staying out of the conversation. Sasuke nodded back briefly, biting into the fish and casting a raised eyebrow at Suigetsu and Karin.

Instead of answering his question, Karin folded her hands beneath her chin, fawning. "Your birthday is tomorrow, Sasuke? Why didn't you tell us?"

Sasuke froze, slowly turning to Suigetsu to glare at the grinning water-being. "Suigetsu…"

"Yessss, Sasuke-kun?" he purred, taking a rather large bite from his fish. Suddenly, he blanched, hacking up a lung and pounding on his chest wildly. The rest, fully aware he was choking, ignored him, and Sasuke sighed.

"Yes, Karin. My birthday is tomorrow, but…"

"We should have a party!" she cried, accidently flinging her fish-on-a-stick in the air in excitement. They returned to their conversation, unaware of it falling back and stabbing Suigetsu directly on the top of the head. Juugo and Kisame stared at the water-being unsurely, wondering if they should intervene, when Madara piped up, eyebrows raised.

"…is he okay, you think?"

"No." Juugo deadpanned, ripping off more of the fish and chewing with grinning canines.

On the otherside of the fire, Karin was pestering Sasuke about his party. "But Sasuke-kun! Your eighteenth birthday is special! It makes you legal!" her eyes flashed in a sly grin, "We have to celebrate!"

Sasuke ignored her, reading a scroll idly, tossing the fish-stick over his shoulder.

This, in turn, hit a flailing Suigetsu.

Which caused him to step on a glowing ember from the fire.

Which caused him to scream bloody murder.

…it was going to be a long night.

Some where way, waaaaaaay up in the sky, (or way, waaaaaaay far down in the ground, whichever you prefer) Itachi, glowing faintly, glanced up from his and Sasori's checker game.

"Did you hear a scream?"

Sasori stared at him, then looked down/ up, searching the human world with a bored expression. "…it was somewhere over there." He waved to a spot on their world map, and Itachi hummed, taking one of the redhead's kings.

"I win." He sat back, looking down/ up as well, and clicked his tongue. "I wonder what my otouto is doing right now. It's his birthday tomorrow, you know."

Sasori rolled his eyes, studying where his went wrong in the game as Itachi rambled.

Angels, he sighed, have such a complex.

"Shut up…"

"Dammit Suigetsu, wake UP."

"Shut up, woman! I am trying to effing sleep!"

"WAKE UP. NOOOWWWWW."

"I am! Jesus- freaking crazy! Don't have a hernia!"

"I won't if you get up."

"FINE! I'M UP!" Suigetsu roared, shooting up and glaring at the red head through sleep-boogared eyes. Karin smiled pleasantly, tilting her head in an innocent manner.

"Yeah I see that. Thank you!"

"…"

"BREAKFAST IS READY, SO MOVE IT."

"I'M GOINGGGG!!"

Sasuke sighed, rubbing his temples. Just the typical Hebi- Eagle?- morning. With a shake of his head he frowned, sipping his coffee and gazing at the clouds. (Don't ask where they got the food and/ or coffee. It came out of their asses.) Juugo chuckled quietly at the fire, stirring the flames.

"Tired, Sasuke-sama?" he grinned.

"Not anymore…" was the gruff- and slightly exasperated- reply.

The brown haired man laughed. "You should be used to it now, though, shouldn't you?"

"I'd expect so, but…"

Juugo hummed a response, sitting next to Sasuke as Suigetsu walked in, followed by an angry Karin. "I can't believe you melted on me! After breakfast prepare to diiiieee."

Sasuke could see the steam emitted from her ears, and the flames in her eyes, and looked away, shaking his head.

"Whatever."

Karin scowled, pushing past him and plopping down next to Sasuke. "Good morning, Sasuke-kun! And happy birthday!" she chirped happily, making herself a plate of food as Suigetsu joined them. Juugo was already eating.

Sasuke couldn't help but think he looked like a bear that had just spotted a large, fresh carcass.

"…hn."

Suigetsu snorted, filling his plate and popping a sausage into his mouth. Karin shot him a dirty look, frowning, and chomped angrily on her bacon. Juugo, happy to be alive, watched their exchange, having already finished and thrown away his plate. Literally. Into a bush.

"Oh, and happy birthday, Sasuke-kun." Suigetsu snickered randomly as Sasuke finished eating.

This morning would never end, would it?

"COME ON, SUIGETSU! GOD!"

"Shut up, you stupid woman!"

"Ugghh."

"Would you like some Aleeve, Sasuke-sama."

"Juugo?"

"…yes, Sasuke-sama?"

"I think you're my favorite."

"…oh. Why, thank you." Juugo beamed, giving their leader some headache pills.

Suigetsu glanced over, frowning. "Brown noser."

"……."

"Oh, and Sasuke?

"…what."

Suigetsu grinned, winking. "Happy birthday."

"……………………."

"Finally!" Suigetsu heaved through their apartment/ suite door, dumping his belongs on the ground. Juugo, behind him, let out a yell as he tripped and fell, face first, into the unmerciful floor.

He was promptly ignored as Karin coughed.

"I'll be back in a bit, guys."

"You going to work?"

"…huh?"

Suigetsu shrugged from the bed, not bothered to look at the confused red head. "The whorehouse, duh."

"….Suigestu, shut the hell up. I'm not a whore."

"Says you." He snickered.

Sasuke frowned, looking at the peeved female. "Where are you going, Karin?"

"…uhhhhhhh….bye!"

And she was gone.

Sasuke blinked, then shrugged, turning to his bag and moving it to the corner as Juugo kicked Suigetsu's bag into the wall, growling.

"Hey, Sasuke."

"What, Suigetsu?"

"Happy birthday, Sasuke."

Sasuke refrained himself from shoving kusanagi through the laughing water-nin's chest with difficulty.

"Which one, which one?" Karin muttered, looking through an assortment of square-ish objects in front of her. Her finger tapped her chin as she frowned, then smiled as her eyes landed on the perfect one.

"Aaa! This one looks tasty!" she grinned, and looked up at the lady watching her. "This one, please, ma'am."

The woman smiled, nodded, and Karin fished for her money.

"Do you do custom designs?"

"I'm baaack!"

"Gods, woman! Where were you?!" Suigetsu growled, jumping up at Karin's random entrance. "We're effing starving!"

"Shut up, Suigetsu." She growled, then turned to Sasuke and smiled. "Hey, Sasuke-kun, guess what?"

"…what?" he peered at her from over his book, lips tilted down slightly at the disruption in his reading. Juugo looked on in boredom, sitting on his bed. Karin grinned, pulling something from behind her back. A large, white box, with a bow on it.

"Happy birthday!"

Sasuke blinked, momentarily stunned, then looked up at her in confusion. "What is it?" He didn't trust boxes. He hated boxes, actually, since the one day when he was five that Itachi had locked him in one, saying he was going to ship him to someplace called America. Yeah, he hated boxes, with a passion, and grimaced at the memory of his brother taping the box, cackling evilly at Sasuke's desperate sobbing.

Karin kept her grin, putting it in his lap. "Well, open it and you'll find out."

He frowned, looking down at it, and faintly heard Suigetsu mutter "I never get presents on my birthday" to Juugo, who ignored him. The Uchiha put his book down, and slowly slipped off the bow, glancing up at the watching Karin unsurely, who merely smiled. With ha sigh, he let it fall the to floor, and carefully lifted to top.

He blinked, staring down at the lavishly decorated cake that rest in side, and heard Suigetsu exclaim in happiness.

"OH MAI GAWD, CAAAAAKEEEEEH."

He dismissed it, looking at a glowing Karin. (She was literally glowing, no joke.) "A cake?"

"Yeah! Do you like it?"

He glanced down at it again, and read the words written across it aloud. " 'Happy Birthday, Sasuke, from Karin, Juugo, and Suigetsu'."

"I got him a cake? Since when?" Suigetsu muttered, confused, and Juugo promptly whacked him upside the head.

It had a picture, detailed, of them sitting around a campfire. Faintly, Sasuke realized it was one of their first nights as a team. Juugo was sitting quietly in the corner, silent, just examining his new team thoughtfully. Suigetsu and Karin- of course- were arguing. It was something about drinking all of their water in an hour, if he remembered correctly. He, himself, had been sitting against a tree, resting as he watched the two bicker endlessly. Karin's clone had randomly appeared out of nowhere and snapped a picture of the scene, and now…

…it was on a cake.

His cake.

He, realizing Karin was getting anxious for an answer, looked up, and sighed. "Yeah, Karin. …thanks."

She smiled despite his emotionless tone, and took it over to the counter, pulling out a cutting knife as Suigetsu crawled towards it, eyes flashing. Sasuke watched thoughtfully as she put out a foot to kick him, and dodged as the sharp toothed kid flew across the room, landing in a groaning heap on the floor.

Suddenly, he saw a time when team seven had gone out on a mission, and Sakura had cooked something that smelled really, really good. Naruto, stomach growling, had tried to sneak some when she turned her back, and almost lost his hand. Kakashi had watched in amusement as the two fought, and Sasuke had merely 'tsk'ed, looking away. He was reminded of that now as he watched Karin chuck knives at Suigetsu, who was cowering behind the cover of an upturned desk.

And as Karin turned to give Juugo a piece, and whacked Suigetsu before giving one, he couldn't help but smile. Karin, having just turned to give him a piece, froze, and slowly grinned.

Suigetsu suddenly screamed.

"SASUKE SMILED. THE WORLD'S GOING TO ENDDDD."

Sasuke frowned, casting a glare at him, and took his piece with a small "thank you" at the grinning red head.

He might not like sweets, or his new team, for that matter, but…

Sasuke glanced down at the cake, and took a bite, chewing as he watched Suigetsu flail wildly, screaming about the end of the world. Karin threw another knife at him, yelling to shut up before they were found, and Juugo slowly crept to a corner, devouring his cake piece.

Sasuke let out a barely audible chuckle.

…there were always exceptions.

The end. :) I hope you guys liked it. It was really fun to write, and my sister helped me. Haha, yeah.

Suigetsu lovers? Just to let you know, I am noootttt bashing him. In fact, Suigetsu is one of my favorite characters, but he's just fun to torture.

Anyway, please review, dearrrss. It would really brighten my day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SASUKEEEEE!!