Another one of my English experiments. Writing in a language other than mine is exhausting but rewarding at the same time, so I think I'll keep doing it for a while.

BEWARE, SPOILERS FROM CHAPTER 150 FROM NOW ON!

A friend of mine, the same who asked me for the previous fic, wanted me to write a Kanako x Marcos one based on the prompt "things you said with no space between us". It revolves around the fact that Kanako confessed to Marcos after being injuried in the recent raws, so if you hadn't seen them this would be a big spoiler. As both of us love Kanako and are very sad because of what happened to her, I just had to make this a little corny.

I guess that drawing and writing about dead characters (or severly injuried ones) being happy is my kind of quilty pleasure.

But he didn't

She was there, just in front on him. So close he could hear her breathing, touch her face, or even count how many lashes she had if he was patient enough, of course. But he wasn't. He'd been waiting too long for her to open her eyes, to look at him and call him moron like she always did. Like every other day, he expected that morning for her to wake up and give him the tired smile he was yearning for. But she didn't

Yes, she was there, but at the same time, she was not. Her body made act of presence, lying on that bed, in that white room that smelled like medicines, blood and death; that reeked remorse, anxiety and broken dreams. But it was only a shell, Kanako has long gone and no one knew where could she be or how long her journey will be. They didn't even were sure if she was going to come back or not, and the uncertainty was piercing him the same way that debris did to her. He looked under the sheets, the bandage covering her severely injured back and stomach. Seeing that tortured him, but that was precisely what Marcos wanted. She was like that because of him, it was his fault, and he wanted those wounds to stick in his mind.

He felt it again. The lump in his throat, his eyes burning, his hands trembling…in other occasions she had been the one to make him feel better when sorrow was drowning him. She was the one who worried for him the most when Sheila died. Kanako just stood by his side, saying nothing and grabbing his hand while he cried, doing as she couldn't see the tears flowing over his dust covered face. But she was not there, if he cried, no one would do as if they didn't saw anything. Everybody would notice.

It was distressingly ironic how in the moment they were so close, was when they were most apart. It was painfully cruel that the words he longed to hear for months, were the last ones she managed to say. As if losing her wasn't hard enough; destiny, or luck or even Rahab, played a dirty trick on Marcos, making him had for a couple of seconds what he wanted , before snatching it from his hands. It was not fair, not at all.

And he knew, he was completely aware that he was not the only one. And he thought of Eva and how she lost Adolf; Shokichi and how he has left his friends and his lover lives and his own already twice in Mars; Michelle and the way she had lost her father, dedicating her whole life to a failed mission; or Akari and the fact that he had practically seen the love of his life to die in his arms. And still, even knowing that most of them had suffered the same way as him, he couldn't help but constantly ask himself why was all that happening to him of all people.

Sometimes he tried to be optimistic, he really did. She was breathing, he thought, her heart was still beating, her skin even if pale, kept being warm and sometimes her fingers moved. He tried to think she was going to make it, Marcos was even able to believe it from time to time. But with every new day without her waking up, his hopes vanished more and more as time went by.

Sleeping, or at least trying to, in that white chair had become a habit for him the past days. Head in the mattress, hand grabbing hers and blanket over his shoulders one night and another, he was getting so used to it he even managed to fall asleep for few hours. He never left Kanako's side. Not even when Yaeko visited her with tears in her eyes and gripping Alex's arm tightly. Not even when Michelle and Akari, hand in hand, visited him bringing food, water and a little conversation. He couldn't.

He rubbed his eyes and looked around. They were alone. Most of the injured had already recovered, and those who were not, felt well enough to be at their rooms. But she still needed to be connected to a life supporting machine and the only sound in that place was the regular bleep of it that was going to drive him crazy. He caressed the knuckles of the hand of hers he had in his. Her fingers moved a little and he looked at her face anxiously, but nothing happened.

The doctor had already told him that comatose people sometimes could had that kind of reactions, but that didn't mean they would wake up. He rested his head on the bed again, not even knowing if he should be sleeping or not, time became something completely alien for him.

Her hand moved again and her breathing accelerated but he wasn't able to look. The bleeping of the life supporting machine went faster and he felt his own heart stop, something was happening. He tried to call someone but his voice got stuck in his throat, he wanted to stand up and go look for somebody, but his legs were paralyzed. That wasn't good. He had seen it in movies, how those machines started doing weird things before stopping. No, no, no, no. This couldn't be happening. Not again. Not to him.

"H-help! Help…please" he managed to say, with his throat hurting and his eyes stinging and blurred with tears. He hated himself, for not being mature enough to know how to react, she needed someone, they needed help, and he was there, still grabbing her hand completely petrified while she shuddered on her bed. "Alex…Akari….." he called so low they wouldn't be able to hear him even if they were in the same room. He started breathing faster, he was about to cry out of helplessness. "Me too….me too" Marcos muttered between sobs " Kanako…me too"
"You…too?"

He didn't heard it the first time. Being more specific, he heard her but he though his mind was tricking him. Marcos glanced at her and there she was, just as before. He could see her body lying on that bed, in that white room that smelled like medicines, blood and death. But the stench of the last one suddenly seemed less strong. Maybe it was because of her tired eyes looking at him. Maybe it was because her petite body didn't looked like an empty shell now that she had spoken.

He wasn't even able to talk, the only thing he want in that moment was to touch her to make sure she was fine. And so he did. She didn't say a thing as he caressed her face, intertwined her fingers with hers and moved the hand he was holding to give it a soft kiss before rubbing his cheek with its palm. Kanako just looked at him a little confused, she didn't knew that place, she was hurting a lot and Marcos seemed exhausted; but his display of affection felt too good to complain, so she just let him be.

"You're here" sobbing uncontrollably, his hands and jaw trembling, he kissed her hand again "Kanako…you're here"

" …yeah" she smiled only for a moment, but she did. And that was enough for him. "You too?" it was difficult for her to talk, so she just repeated he previous answer hoping he would be clever enough to know what was she referring too. The moment Kanako said that, his crying calmed a little and his face blushed even more that it already was.
" Do you remember what you told me?"
" I don't…..know" she took a deep breath "Why…here"

"You were hurt" he looked down"…p-protecting me" he felt her eyes on him. He was aware that her question kept being unanswered but that wasn't the best moment to talk about it "I'll tell you later" Marcos assured stroking her head "But here is a clue about it"

He came closer to her face and gave her a peck on the cheek, making Kanako blush and open her eyes wide even in her state. He'd lie if he told he was a little embarrassed by his own actions. But he had been so close to lost her that he decided he didn't want to regret nothing. Kanako was there and even if she wasn't able to remember that she had confessed, he did, and he was going to do everything in his power to make her remember. Even if it was necessary, he would give his best to make her like him again.

Just a moment later, the doctor entered the room, greeting them with a surprised smile after realizing she was awake. The rest of the day was chaotic. She was checked constantly, they got rid of the machine that was driving him mad, he had to be out of the room almost all the afternoon while she was tested… And once they finally let Kanako to be visited, all of the crew went to say hi, not letting them have their much needed time alone. As the day went by, most people retired to sleep and the last ones in there with them were Alex, Yaeko, Michelle and Akari. They have been explaining to her all that happened. How they were rescued, who were those people, the one who made it and the ones who didn't…she listened to it with all her might, making some comments now that it was a little easier for her to talk and feeling an ache piercing her chest with every name that increased the list of "fallen in combat"

"Guys, she's tired. We should go" Michelle told standing up after patting Akari's leg to get his attention
"But I want to keep talking with Kana-chan" Yaeko pouted, but after realizing the apologetic and exhausted smile on Kanako's face, she nodded and gave her friend a hug " Take care Kana-chan."
" I'll do" Kanako assured, her voice raspy.
" We'll come tomorrow again" Michelle also gave the girl a hug and then turned to him "You too, Marcos. Take care"

And after Alex and Akari patted his back, the four of them left the room. He faced Kanako, and found her eyes following her friends to lay on him just a moment later.

"Alex and Yaeko" she muttered. Marcos nodded, it had been obvious since the moment they left Mars. And even if it wasn't, the both of them had been telling everyone how happy they were since both of them confessed their feelings. "And since when Michelle and…" Kanako started coughing so she sat up straight and Marcos caressed her back till she stopped
" Michelle and Akari hadn't told anything, so we're not really sure" it seemed that, as for him, for Kanako didn't went unnoticed the way the couple looked at each other, walked with their fingers intertwined or touched when they had the occasion. Just like a moment ago, with Akari's placing his hand on Michelle's waist as they walked out of the room.
"And us?" that caught him by surprise. Her face was red and her eyes fixed on her hands after making the question "I remembered…what I told"
"O-oh…emmm…then you know what did I mean with 'Me too'?"
" Yes"
"So…you're my girlfriend?"
" I guess"
"Can I kiss you?" Marcos asked, and she just smiled and nodded.

So he did. And not only once, or twice. As many times as her tired mouth and body could take, as well as his.

They were alone again, in almost complete darkness and without the constant bleeping of that damn life supporting machine tormenting him. Alex had made him promise that with Kanako finally awake, it was time for him to put his life back together. He was right. That's why he told his kind of a big brother that instead of being at Kanako's bedside all night, he was going to sleep in his room. But he didn't.