Where did we go wrong?
Tony noticed that the rain was pouring down.
He knew he was out on the ground in the rain, his fingers playing thoughtless with the dirt in front of him.
But he didn't knew why he didn't stand up and walk away.
The tried to think of it, but he couldn't.
He felt a gentle hand on his shoulder.
"We got to go Tony, you are going to get sick being out in this weather for to long."
The voice was gentle and familiar. But he choose to ignore it. This was not a day for gentle.
The opened his eyes and remembered where he was.
He was sitting in front of a gravestone.
L.J. Gibbs
2-8-1953 - 6-3-2009
Reunited with his family.
And the pain came back to him with full force. Gibbs had died. His boss, his father figure, the man he had looked up to had died.
His mind flashed back to that awful day.
~*~
Gibbs and Tony went for coffee. Well, Gibbs went for coffee and Tony followed him. There was a gut feeling and it was nagging him all day long. He just wanted to talk to Gibbs about it without being teased from Ziva about it.
They where sitting at a table, talking about nothing in particular.
From there on he had no memory of his own. He read from the police report that people had come in, shooting around. Yelling at everybody to lay down on the ground. A woman was screaming, he didn't notice what she was saying.
Before he could draw his gun Gibbs was shot.
The next thing Tony knew he was in a hospital, being stitched up. A flesh wound at his left arm. Abby clinging on to him, crying like it was the end of the world.
When he realized that Gibbs had died, he knew it was the end of the world. Hours had gone by, but he had no memory of it. He existed but he didn't live at the moment.
~*~
It was a month ago now. One awful long month.
He stayed at Ziva's place, siting at the couch, drinking and watching home channel tv. Everyone had been worried about him. The director gave him as much time of as he needed, and McGee was in temporary charge of the team. But they didn't do anything else then cold cases. They needed a leader, whether it was Gibbs or Tony, they didn't work without a leader.
When Tony was staring at the gravestone flashbacks came back to him.
*
Him shooting the robbers without hesitation.
*
Gibbs bleeding from the chest.
*
His eyes open, looking up to Tony.
*
Gibbs in a giant pool of blood, not breathing anymore.
*
Paramedics and police officers taking him away from Gibbs.
*
He didn't know how to live on, so he did the only thing he could. Breath.
He started to cry again, not that anyone would notice. The was already water enough falling down.
~*~
Ziva had give up all hope. Sitting on a bench she was watching Tony. Tony would probably live on her couch forever. And seeing him, sitting in the poring rain, in front of Gibbs grave, it broke her heart.
Looking at him she could only wonder one thing: Where did we go wrong?