The Internet Is For Porn

Disclaimer: I own nothing. NOTHING! Whhhyyyy???

The sun was bright as it fell across her face and woke her up. Clary groggily opened her eyes and sat up. She did a quick scan of her room, checking to make sure all of her books and posters were in place. They were. But she still couldn't shake the feeling that someone was watching her.

"BOO!" A deep, but oh-so-familiar voice said from directly behind her.

"AAHHH!!" Clary screamed and bolted forward, falling off the bed in a tangle of blankets. "JONOTHAN CHRISTOPHER LIGHTWOOD WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING???" Clary screamed at him from her very graceful position on the floor.

"I'm just waking you up, Clary. Don't you remember what we have to do today?..."

Oh yeah! It was her day to teach! She had been looking forward to this day for years, and the usual teacher, Mrs. Boremetodeath, had finally taken a day of.

"Yes! Oh Jacey, thank you!" She jumped back up and threw herself into his lap, assaulting his mouth with hers and his chest with her hands. "I can't wait!" She said when she pulled back from him. Clary continued to ramble on about how long she had been waiting and blah, blah, blah. But Jace was lost when he finally got a look at her.

There she was, sitting in his lap, hands on his chest, night shirt pushed up around her hips. His eyes roamed over Clary's red-headed form appreciatively, and then he dipped his eyes lower, to what her pushed up sleep shirt revealed. She was wearing pink, lacy panties. The most delicate and almost see through that Jace had ever seen. And they were on his woman. He was totally absorbed in memorizing every detail of the glimpse.

"Jace? Why are you staring at my crotch?"

Jace quickly snapped his eyes upward, and looked her straight in the eye.

"I'm not staring at your crotch, I'm just staring between your legs."

"WHAT?? Get out, Jace! I have to get dressed!"

"But Clary I-"

"OUT!"

She quickly got Jace out of her room and then began buzzing around at high speed. She put her bed back together, found some decent looking clothes to put on and grabbed her lime green running shoes. In all of about 20 minutes, she was ready to go teach her lesson.

Clary quickly rushed out her door and ran straight into her boyfriend's manly-muscle chest.

"Ready to go, babe?"

"You know it! Lets go!"

Clary arrived in the classroom 15 minutes early and began to set out her supplies. She still wasn't sure what she was going to teach on, but she knew that it wouldn't take too long to decide and make something up.

"Hey there Clare Bear!"

'Ughhh.' Clary thought as Alec and his overly sparkly boyfriend walked through the door to her kindergarten classroom.

"We came to watch you teach your first solo lesson! You're gonna do sooo great! Good lucks!" Magnus gushed as he pulled Alec toward a big-people table in the very back of the room. Jace and Simon were already sitting.

About ten minutes later all of the children had arrived. Clary walked to the front of the class and began to talk…

Clary:
Finally, I get to teach a whole lesson all by myself! And I'm going to teach something relevant! Something modern! The Internet!

The internet is really really great

Alec:
For porn

Clary:
I've got a fast connection so i don't have to wait

Alec:
For porn

Clary:
What?
There's always some new site

Alec:
For porn

Clary:
I browse all day and night

Alec:
For porn

Clary:
It's like I'm surfing at the speed of light!

Alec:
For porn!

Clary:
Alec!

Alec:
The internet is for porn!

Clary:
Alec!

Alec:
The internet is for porn!

Clary:
What are you doing??!
Alec:
Why you think the net was born?
Porn, porn, porn!

Clary:
Alec….

Alec:
Oh!
Hello, Clare Bear!

Clary:
You are ruining my song!

Alec:
Oh, me sorry. Me no mean to.

Clary:
Well, if you wouldn't mind please being quiet for a minute so I can finish?

Alec:
Okey dokey

Clary:
Good.
I'm glad we have this new technology

Alec:
For porn...oops!

Clary:
Which gives us untold opportunity

Alec:
For porn...oops, sorry!

Clary:
Right from you own desktop

Alec:
For...

Clary:
You can research, browse, and shop

Alec:
...

Clary:
Until you've had enough and your ready to stop

Alec:
FOR PORN!!

Clary:
Alec!!!

Alec:
The internet is for porn!

Clary:
No!

Alec:
The internet if for porn!

Clary:
Alec!!

Alec:
Me up all night honking me horn
to porn, porn, porn!

Clary:
That's gross! You're a pervert!

Alec:
Ah, sticks and stones, Clare Bear.

Clary:
No really, you're a pervert. Normal people don't sit at home and look at porn on the internet.

Alec:
Ohhhh?

Clary:
What???

Alec:
You have no idea! Ready normal people?

Magnus:
Ready

Robert:
Ready

Jace:
Ready

Alec:
Let me hear it!

Alec and guys:
The internet is for porn!

Jace:
Sorry, Clary...

Alec and guys:
The internet is for porn!

Jace:
I masturbate!

Alec:
All these guys unzip their flies for porn, porn, porn!

Clary:
The internet is not for porn!!

Alec and guys:
PORN
PORN...

Clary:
HOLD ON A SECOND!
Now I happen to know for a fact that you, Robert, check your portfolio and trade stocks online.

Robert:
That's correct.

Clary:
And Jace, you buy things on .

Jace:
Sure!

Clary:
And Magnus, you keep selling your possesions on eBay.

Magnus:
Yes I do!

Clary:
And Simon, you sent me that sweet online birthday card.

Simon:
True

Alec:
Oh, but Clary... what you think he do after? Hmm?

Jace:
...Yeah...

Clary:
EEEWWWWW!!!

Alec and guys:
The internet is for porn!

Clary:
GROSS!

Alec and guys:
The internet is for porn!

Clary:
I HATE PORN!

Alec:
Grab your dick and double click for porn, porn, porn!

Clary:
I HATE MEN!

Alec and guys:
Porn, porn, porn, porn

Clary:
I'M LEAVING!

Alec and guys:
Porn, porn, porn, porn

Clary:
I HATE THE INTERNET!

Alec:
The internet is for...

Alec and guys:
Internet is for...
Internet is for PORN!

Alec:
YEAH!

Author's Note: So what'd ya think? Any songs or story ideas you guys have I'll do! Just review! So click the little button and tell me what you think! ALsooo, the first person that cant tell me where the song is from that Alec and Clary are singing will get a super special spot in the next chappie! Yay!