In fairytales, princesses are often born with a curse. Or they're cursed soon after their birth, or sometimes not even cursed at all. Sometimes heroines in fairytales aren't even princesses, just average girls. I never liked to think of myself as average, nor did I think of myself as a princess. Hell, I couldn't really consider myself a heroine, could I? A hero in my own mind, I suppose. However, that means very little unless I am the one telling the story. Sometimes I am, and sometimes I'm not. Sometimes, rather than being the heroine, I'm the villain. Either way, I'm important.
Back to talk of curses, I certainly had one. Not of magic though, something on a different level. The curse of despair. I called it a curse, but again this is a matter of perspective. Later in my life I'd grow to love it and think of it as a blessing. Or would I? Was that just what I said? Who knows. I, for one, do not. Despair made everything confusing. It was wonderful at times, the tears I cried of despair, but I still knew that hurt me. Everything hurt me, and I found pleasure in the pain. Pleasure and pain are usually not thought to go together, but people don't usually think like me. I'm different. Some people do say it's hard to be different when you're a twin. There's another girl out there who looks an awful lot like me, however we are not the same. Not at all. I, the cute genius younger sister, her the strong protective older sister. We're not the same, not at all. Yet, as a child, it was harder to convince people.
When I was a child I had long messy red hair, and every morning Mukuro would brush it for me. I'd put it into pigtails, or something else cute, and run off to play with Matsuda. Nobody really liked to play with me, I never played fair. I'd make my own rules, or completely break the game when I wasn't winning. Those were on the days I felt like sharing my curse. On the days where I was content with it, I'd lose on purpose, which took the fun away for others. For me, it just made it worthwhile. I still remember the time I spent on that one sandcastle, the huge one in the park sandbox. I wouldn't let anyone help me with it, it was my own. My own creation. Many saw it and found it impressive for a young girl such as myself to have made it. Yet that one night, I kicked it in myself. The days of work crumbled away into nothing, and the tears that stung my eyes were my own fault. I cried, but at the same time I laughed. Nobody really understood why I did it, and I didn't expect them too. Nobody could understand me, except for Mukuro and Matsuda. Even they never really did though, but they understood the most.
Mukuro, although she shared the bond of blood with me, never really felt my despair. She may have said she did, but it was only to make me happy. I was so important to her, and I never truly understood why. Perhaps just because she was so pathetic? Although she was most certainly a pitiful sister, she was a good shot and she did love me. I can appreciate that, but at the same time I resent it. The reason I resent her skills over all, is the reason she ended up becoming useful to me after all.
Her time spent in Fenrir.
"Junko-chan.." Her voice was always softer around me than around others, to others she was standoffish and cold, yet to me she was an open book.
"Whaaat?" I had been sitting on the ground outside, flipping through a fashion magazine. I had only recently been discovered as a Gyaru, and was looking up tips on how to get a real start to this lifestyle.
"I'm.. going. I'm gonna do it." She had discussed the possibility of joining this group with me before, in fact it had been me who first mentioned the name. I knew she'd need a talent if we were going to get into Hope's Peak Academy alongside Matsuda, who had just been scouted, and this was our best chance. Yet… part of me didn't want her to go.
"Really….?" My expression changed in an instant like it tends to do, I was shocked at her words.
"It's what's best for us, I have to." She smiled a little bit, and chewed at her own lip. Disgusting.
"Fine then. Leave. See if I care." I didn't want her to go. Without her or Matsuda around I'd be alone. At the same time I needed her to go, so we could carry on with my goals for the future.
She didn't say anything else. She turned around and walked away, something I had not calculated she'd do. Never did I really think she'd abandon me like that.
Tears of despair stung my eyes once again.