I look up once more at the person I called my partner. How many times I had gazed at him with such unexplainable feeling towards him, I could not tell. It hurt.. not being able to express how I felt.. but somehow, I had gotten used to it. I had managed to lock myself up, protecting myself.. but somehow, he could always reach right down to the depths of my soul, just with a gentle smile. His smile... It means alot to me. Somehow or rather, his heart warming smile is able to lift me right out of my depression. ...But I've never told him that... I guess, I'm just to afraid to do so. What was I afraid of? Rejection? Anger? Or even worst...hate? But somehow, he never seemed to me as that type of person.
As he looked out of the train window, I continued to look at him. Somehow, even though I told myself not to, I continued to stare. I couldn't take my eyes off him anymore. He had a look of content on his face. The look he always had after he had eaten a piece of cake. I smiled and laughed slightly. He was so simple yet so complex at times. He turned to me and smiled.
"What?" He asked, a look of innocent curiousity covered his face as he raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing." I replied, trying to sound as composed as I had always forced myself to be. But he wasn't convinced. I felt my face turn red. Suddenly, a voice over the loud speaker announced that we would be arriving soon.
"Have you gone through the files?" I asked, trying to cover up.
Tsuzuki gave me his usual puppy dog expression, indicating that he hadn't. He had clearly forgotten about the previous topic and I was relieved for it. As we got off the train, I decided to shut the matter away. Perhaps I was running away from my feelings...but there was nothing that I could do. I was too afraid to mention anything. I shut myself off. I had always been doing that, though I yearned for the time when someone could rescue me from my self built prison wall. I looked at the only person who could do that for me... He was walking away.
As he looked out of the train window, I continued to look at him. Somehow, even though I told myself not to, I continued to stare. I couldn't take my eyes off him anymore. He had a look of content on his face. The look he always had after he had eaten a piece of cake. I smiled and laughed slightly. He was so simple yet so complex at times. He turned to me and smiled.
"What?" He asked, a look of innocent curiousity covered his face as he raised an eyebrow.
"Nothing." I replied, trying to sound as composed as I had always forced myself to be. But he wasn't convinced. I felt my face turn red. Suddenly, a voice over the loud speaker announced that we would be arriving soon.
"Have you gone through the files?" I asked, trying to cover up.
Tsuzuki gave me his usual puppy dog expression, indicating that he hadn't. He had clearly forgotten about the previous topic and I was relieved for it. As we got off the train, I decided to shut the matter away. Perhaps I was running away from my feelings...but there was nothing that I could do. I was too afraid to mention anything. I shut myself off. I had always been doing that, though I yearned for the time when someone could rescue me from my self built prison wall. I looked at the only person who could do that for me... He was walking away.