Chapter 1- The prisoner

AN- I do not own bleach, I just like messing with it

After they got back from Hueco mundo, she seemed fine. She seemed like the same old Orihime: sweet, open, friendly, weird but in an endearing way. Rukia knew different. She could see the pain in the girl's eyes when she thought no-one was looking, she could hear the bitterness in her voice when she thought no-one was listening. She put on a good show, it was shocking how good such a seemingly innocent girl could be at lying and deception, but then Rukia supposed, she was no stranger to pain and loneliness. She had practice putting on a fake veneer of happiness after her brother died and left her alone in the world, so this was really just an extension of the act she had been projecting for most of her life. Nonetheless Rukia saw through it. She could see the feelings that Orihime was trying to hide because she was looking for them. After all it hadn't been long since she was in the position that Orihime was now. It was that empathy, that understanding of what Orihime was going through that drove Rukia to knock on Orihime's door that night.

It was late, but Orihime was still up, thinking over what had happened in Hueco Mundo, thinking about what had happened after. Chad had died, during the rescue attempt, all the others had been injured to the point of death at least once, Ichigo had turned into a monster trying to protect her, and yet when it came down to it she hadn't been able to do anything to repay them. If her power was as amazing as Aizen seemed to think then why had she not been able to do any more than patch up the wounds her friends had only suffered because of her? In the final analysis, her existence had been of more benefit to Aizen than to her own side, she had proved to be a liability just like Urahara said she would. Rukia's appearance distracted her from these thoughts, and she quickly plastered on a fake smile as she invited her in.

As she sat at Orihime's table and drank the tea she served Rukia considered how to get through the veneer Orihime used to cover up her feelings. After a few moment's thought she decided to go with the direct approach.

"You're not happy Orihime" she stated flatly. The girl was flustered but quickly recovered

"Don't be silly, I'm fine. Look, see nothing wrong" She smiled brightly

"You're lying. I'm not just talking about now either. You're lying all day every day, pretending you're fine, covering up your feelings with a smile and a cheerful voice. You think I don't see it, the guilt, the loneliness, the shame, the anger. You think I don't know how it feels?"

Orihime was silent

"The others don't see it, because they're too wrapped up in their own problems, and to be perfectly honest they don't want to see it. But I see it. You want to know why? Because I've been in exactly the same place as you are now. I know exactly how you're feeling, and I know you are not ok"

"Fine" Orihime snapped "You want to know how I'm really feeling? Fine, I'll tell you. I'm feeling helpless and weak and ashamed, because they caught me and I couldn't defend myself, I'm feeling useless because after everything that all of you did to rescue me I still wasn't able to help defeat Aizen. I'm feeling so, so guilty, because Chad died and you nearly died and Ichigo turned into a monster all to protect me. I hope you're happy now, because saying it certainly didn't make me feel any better"

"But that's not it is it Orihime?" Rukia whispered softly "You don't even want to admit it to yourself, but I know you're feeling it. You're angry aren't you? And not just at Aizen and his friends for kidnapping you, not even at yourself for letting yourself get kidnapped. No, you're angry at us, aren't you? Don't try to deny it" Rukia said as Orihime started shaking her head "You know it's the truth, because they didn't just kidnap you, you made a choice to go with them. To protect your friends you sacrificed everything, and when you heard we came to rescue you, you felt angry that we couldn't accept your decision."

"I went with them so that you would all be safe. It was my choice to make. I'm not a child, and I'm not helpless or weak. I gave up everything to make sure you wouldn't get hurt and then you all threw that back in my face and you put yourselves in even worse danger. It felt like you were saying my decisions, the things I wanted, didn't matter. Yes I was angry, I'm still angry, I have to bear the guilt for all the death and pain that happened because none of you were prepared to let me decide what I was willing to sacrifice my life to protect. I'm tired of being weak, but I'm even more tired of everyone thinking of me as weak. I'm fed up with being seen as the princess in the tower that needs to be rescued. I'm stronger than that"

"I know exactly how you feel"

"Do you? Really? You were always strong Rukia. Ichigo, Uryu all of them, respected you because you were tough and brave and a fighter. When they look at me all they see is something to protect, not a fellow warrior."

"How do you think I felt when you all came to the soul society to rescue me? They certainly weren't thinking of me as a fellow fighter capable of protecting myself then. The fact that they were right only made it worse. I made my decision to go back there without a fight, knowing full well what the consequences would be, but all of you threw that back in my face and came to rescue me. You think I don't know, that awful mixture of hope that they might actually succeed, guilt that they'll probably die trying, humiliation at being so helpless and of course anger that they refused to respect your wishes"

"I know it's not logical, it's just that I'm tired of being the weak one. I may not have the killer instincts that the rest of you have but I still have that will to protect others." Her voice trailed off

"Do you know why I came to rescue you?" Rukia said suddenly "It wasn't because I thought you were weak. Quite the opposite. It's because you came to rescue me. It might have been your decision to go there to protect us, but if I had chosen to leave you there after everything you've done for me I wouldn't be worth protecting. You shouldn't have to make that kind of sacrifice for the kind of person who wouldn't come after you. It's ok to be angry, but just remember, we didn't come to save you because we thought you were weak, we came because we love you, and we owe you and we don't want to live in a world without you in it."

"You mean that?"

"More than anything I've ever said"

Suddenly Orihime was crying, and while Rukia knew it was part of the healing process it broke her heart to see her like that. Almost before she realized it she had wrapped her arms tightly round Orihime as she cried into her shoulder.

Before she had left for Hueco Mundo Orihime had thought she was in love with Ichigo, but somehow, at some point during her imprisonment, something changed. He had been a rescuer, where she wanted an ally, he had left her on the sidelines when she wanted to fight back to back. During the rescue Ichigo had carried her, she should have been ecstatic; being so close to him, but all she could think was that he was holding her too gently. He held her like a fragile doll that might break if he held too tight and it made her feel empty inside. The way Rukia was holding her now was different. She was holding her so tightly it hurt and Orihime suspected she would have bruises in the morning from where Rukia's skinny but surprisingly strong arms were crushing her. It felt good, it felt real in a way that Ichigo's gentle hold hadn't, in a way that very few things had since her imprisonment. The way Rukia was holding her made her feel like she wasn't alone any more, and on an impulse she raised her head and kissed Rukia, hard. Rukia stiffened but she didn't pull away, and then she was kissing back, so violently that Orihime could taste blood in both of their mouths, and it made her feel so alive and so real. When they finally broke the kiss Orihime spoke.

"Promise me you'll never let go. Promise me you'll hold tight, and not let go, ever. I'm tired of being alone and feeling empty."

"If you promise me the same then I swear I will never let go"

The morning found them asleep on the sofa, still held tightly in each other's arms.

AN- there's a connection between the chapter titles, the first person to work out what it is gets to pick a pairing