The Stutterer's Tale
Hi, I'm Tina, and I have a st-st-stutter
It's as if my mouth is filled with peanut butter.
As we are stuck here, I feel I need to enlighten you.
There is a story I know a-a-about being true.
I know everyone can sometimes act fake
And you as though the truth will make you break.
You see, telling a lie may seem right at the time
But as the lie continues, you learn it's a crime.
It starts with a just a woman and her husband.
Happy, but something unexpected will m-make that end.
Together since high school, they seem perfect for each other
Always on the same page, like a sister and brother.
They w-wanted to expand their family by one.
So they tried and tried again for a daughter or son.
A few months of trying and a surprise was in store
It appeared that the stork would soon knock on their door.
The wife was sick and knew something was about to take place.
Her husband asked what was wrong." I can see it on your face."
"Nothing," she said. I just need to go to the bathroom for a bit.
She came back later and told him sternly to sit.
"Husband of mine, I have some startling news.
What I am about to say will sure end all blues."
"Oh please Sweetheart. Tell me what's wrong
Because that solemn expression on your face is so strong."
"Shut up my dear man, and let me say what needs to be said
Your constant interrupting makes me hurt in my head.
Now that it is quiet, get yourself ready for some changing.
I need you to prepare your work room for some rearranging.
It seems that all of hopes and dreams have been met
Because a little baby is what we will soon get!"
Time p-passed and happiness was shared
Very little times were they scared.
But the woman had a secret to hide
Something had happened and she cried.
One doctor appointment went badly.
He looked at her and said something sadly.
"I'm s-so sorry miss,
But I must end your bliss.
Your symptoms are a hysterical pregnancy.
It is a condition with frequent tendency."
"What!" She exclaimed.
She walked out that office flamed.
"I need an idea." She thought.
"Or my husband will be distraught."
She went to her sister for advice
And they found a plan that was nice.
There was a girl they knew who was having a baby
That would m-maybe give it up, just maybe.
All she had to do was fake it for awhile
And keep up a bright smile.
Her husband should certainly believe
And not notice something up her sleeve.
She could stuff every single shirt and dress.
Nobody would e-ever guess.
Everything would work out well.
Hopefully she would never have to tell.
Time passed and they seemed like a happy bunch.
The husband never even feeling a hunch.
A child was thought to be on the way.
The birth getting closer day by day.
But, the further along, the harder it got
She even had a fake sonogram that she bought.
Still, the husband had no clue
That his wife was being untrue.
One day, the man couldn't find a tie
He looked and looked on shelves low and high.
Finally he thought to check his wife's drawers.
Nothing there, so he opened her closet doors.
Inside was something he had never seen.
It was big and a pale shade of green.
He thought he knew what it was called
But if he was right, then he would be appalled.
Inside was a f-fake belly.
He picked it up and it was pretty smelly.
He felt a sudden anger inside of him.
The thoughts he was thinking were pretty grim.
"Why would she have this in her possession?
I guess I need to go find her and think of a question."
He ran quite fast towards his wife with food.
She tensed sensing his bad mood.
He pulled the belly from behind his back.
She froze allowing the toast to go black.
The secret was about to come out
She thought he would understand if she added a pout.
"You better explain what this is!" He roared
His wife screeched like nails on a chalkboard.
"It's just to try on clothes when you are further along. I swear"
He yelled, "Don't you dare lie, don't you dare!"
His wife looked solemn as she gave in.
A teardrop started to trickle down her chin.
"I had a hysterical pregnancy." She explained
With all the color to face drained.
"I was afraid you would leave me.
I thought having a baby was the key.
We were so happy when we thought I was with child
You laughed and danced and smiled.
I couldn't tell you when I got the news.
I was afraid of what you might choose.
I'm s-sorry that I lied.
I've cried and cried.
It was wrong and cruel.
Now I feel like such a fool."
He stared at her with his mouth open far.
His wife had just left him with an emotional scar.
He had no idea what to say.
"I don't know how to keep my emotions at bay,
But what you have done makes you a bad wife.
You lied about carrying a life.
You should have told me from the start.
Your doubt of my love hurts my heart.
I would have comforted you as you wept
And thought of ways to fix this as you slept.
We could have continued trying
Instead, you chose lying.
I can no longer look at you with love."
And so he left with just a shove.
So as you see, a lie should not be told
Or you may be lonely as you grow old.
Now let us continue on with introductions.
Oh, wait. It seems my stutter has gone through reductions.
I guess my stutter was never really there.
Now everyone else has left me to who knows where.