Last Requests
Summary: Jacob Carter knew that there was only one man on Earth that could make his daughter happy. Will Jack O'Neill listen to a dying man's last requests? Missing scene from Threads. J/S
A/N: Please review!!!
If there was ever a time when Jack O'Neill needed a vacation, it was now.
In all his years working at the SGC, he had never experienced so much in such a short time. In the last week the Jaffa had become free and the Goa'uld had lost most of their power. The replicators had been stopped once and for all and they could finally be confident in the safety of the planet. Jack marvelled at the fact that all the goals of the SGC could have been met in that tiny week.
But in amongst the victories there were many losses and sacrifices. Much as Jack did not want to admit it, the fact that Daniel had not returned safe and unharmed was beginning to lead to some bad conclusions. Although he wasn't yet to the point of admitting it aloud, his fierce optimism that their friend would appear in front of them at any minute was beginning to dwindle. He had stopped looking around him as he walked the corridors of the SGC, hoping that Daniel would waltz around some corner. He no longer sat in silence in his office, waiting to hear a voice that he was beginning to think he would never hear again.
Tired and angry at himself for his grief, he slammed his pen onto the desk and scratched at his hair for lack of another way to show his frustration. He looked to the doorway where a certain CIA employee had just exited and rolled his eyes. He hadn't even bothered to go after her. She had known, much to his disbelief, that Daniel was not the only loss he had been mourning. She had left rather than fight for him, even though she knew that the other woman in the picture was betrothed to another. That in itself should have made Kerry win by default. But she had left. She had known.
How had she known? Was he really that obvious? Jack had thought that the part of him that was eternally linked to Carter had been silenced, properly repressed. He hadn't thought about her in that way for a long time. Not consciously, anyhow.
It was when she came to his house. That was what undid it all. It had never occurred to him that she would have second thoughts about the wedding. A part of him had always hoped, always known that her relationship with Pete wasn't real, but he had thought that it was his imagination, his damned optimism. He now realised that it couldn't have been optimism. He didn't have any of that left any more.
But there was still a part of him, a larger part of him than he though existed, that wanted Carter to forget about him. To marry Pete and be happy. To have a family. To uncomplicate things and let both of them have a happy life, free of each other and the strings that were attached to their ever changing, yet ever constant relationship.
Realising that he had been twiddling his pen between his fingers, Jack slammed it onto the desk again. How he wished she would just marry the damned cop and get it over with. He sighed. She would marry him. He knew she would. He had given her no reason not to. Kerry had been the excellent scapegoat. He hadn't even needed to address the matter that Carter was obviously and unsuccessfully trying to bring up. She would have assumed she had found the answer she was looking for and she would no longer doubt her decision to marry Pete. The thought comforted him.
And stabbed him hard in the heart at the same time.
His thoughts wandered to his 2IC's father, who was, at that moment, lying in an infirmary bed, waiting for death to take over him. Jacob Carter had been a strong man, a good friend and a great ally. He would be missed.
Jack wondered how Jacob's death would inevitably affect his daughter. She had already lost one parent, and though it had been a long time since her mother died, Jack knew that Sam still grieved her death considerably. He was glad that he could have played a part in Sam's journey through that grief. The blending of Jacob and Selmak had brought the father and daughter much closer together, bridging the large divide which had been caused by her mother's death all those years before. Jack was glad that he was able to be a part of that.
As though his thoughts of Jacob had been transmitted across the base, his phone rang, the nurse on the other end of the line requesting his presence in the infirmary. Jack accepted the request and quickly made his way to the medical wing, where a very weary Jacob Carter lay.
"Jack," he acknowledged, gesturing for the General to move closer. Jack pulled up a chair and sat next to his friend.
"Where's Sam?" he asked quietly. She hadn't left his side since hearing the news of his demise.
"She's in the commissary," Jacob said with a small heave. Jack looked at the man worriedly.
"Do you want me to go get her?" he asked, getting out of his seat.
"I sent her there," Jacob said, waving an arm to Jack to get him to sit back down. "She needs a break from all this."
"Are you sure?" asked Jack.
"I sent her there for a reason, Jack," Jacob said. "I wanted to talk to you."
Jack sat back down. "Shoot," he prompted when Jacob didn't continue. Jacob still said nothing, his eyes focused uneasily on the nurse who stood at the door. Jack followed his gaze. "That'll be all," he said to the nurse, who nodded and left the room, closing the door behind her. "So…" he said, looking back at Jacob.
"What are your intentions regarding my daughter?" he asked, his voice regaining some of the power that his sickness had drained from him.
"What?" Jack asked, unable to suppress a nervous laugh. He swallowed hard, staring dumbfounded at Jacob.
"What are your intentions regarding my daughter?" he repeated, more slowly this time.
"I…uh…." Jack puddled, unable to come up with a coherent answer. He suddenly felt like a teenager meeting the parents for the first time.
"Jack, she's getting married," he said definitively.
Jack nodded. As if I could have forgotten, he thought. "Then I'm going to watch her get married," he said, knowing that it was all he could ever do.
"You're making a mistake," Jacob said, all sense of illness now void from his voice.
"She's happy," Jack countered, surprised at how sincere his voice sounded.
"No she's not," Jacob retorted. Jack looked away. That just wasn't true.
"How do you know?" he asked, not wanting to know the answer.
"Because I'm her father," was all Jacob answered. Jack looked back at him sceptically. "I know my daughter," he said, sensing the disbelief in the younger man's eyes. "She's content," he continued.
Jack shrugged. "I didn't know there was a difference," he said, though he knew there was. He understood perfectly. With Kerry, he had been content. With Sam…he could have been happy. Maybe.
"Why are you letting this go, Jack?" Jacob asked. "You do realise that once she makes those vows she's gone."
Jack nodded. "And she'll be happy," he said firmly. Just because he didn't find real happiness with another woman was no reason to assume that Sam couldn't find happiness with another man.
"Do you really believe that?" Jacob asked
"I couldn't make her happy," Jack reasoned, truthfully. If he wasn't able to do that, how could he deny another man the right to?
"That's what this is about?" Jacob asked. "You couldn't make her happy?"
Jack shrugged. He hadn't really meant anything by it. It was just a fact. He couldn't make her happy. He knew that.
"Jake, you know she's happiest doing her scientist thing. I could never ask her to give that up for me," he said. "And she'd never let me give it up either."
Jacob shook his head. "Is that all it is, Jack?" he asked. "Think about what you're saying!"
Jack was nonplussed.
"You're not thinking this through," Jacob continued. "After all she's been through, do you really think she'd stay in the military?" He waited for Jack to respond. He scoffed, aware that Jack had no idea what he was talking about. "Believe me; I know how much she resented me for my job while she was growing up. It ruined her childhood. She'd never do that to her children. She wouldn't make the same mistakes I did," he said bitterly.
Jack said nothing.
"Don't you get it, Jack? She's going to leave the air force anyway," he said, wanting nothing more than to climb out of his bed and shake the other man into understanding.
Jack looked up at him, his eyes full of sadness. Jacob didn't to say any more. Jack understood exactly.
It made perfect sense. Why hadn't he thought of it before now? Of course Carter would quit her job. Jacob was right. As much as the father and daughter had become closer in the last few years, Jack knew that Sam still resented her father's position during her childhood, even if she understood it. He knew Sam well enough to know that she would not put her children through the same thing. How could it not have occurred to him before?
Strangely enough, that realisation did not really affect Jack's views on the situation. Surely, if Sam was going to quite the air force, she would have come to him already. She would have approached him before now if she felt as strongly for him as he did for her.
"It doesn't make a difference," Jack said gruffly.
"What do you mean, it doesn't make a difference?" Jacob asked. "You're allowed to love her." Jack looked at the floor, not wanting to meet Jacob's eyes. "For god's sake, Jack, just admit that you're in love with her."
Jack continued to avert Jacob's gaze, though he didn't really know why.
"You're unbelievable," Jacob scoffed. "You know she loves you."
"I know she's marrying another man," Jack corrected.
"Only because she doesn't think you two have a chance," Jacob said. "You know that's why."
Jack refused to reply, choosing instead to fiddle with his fingers in his lap. A part of him knew Jacob was right. When Sam had come to his house she had been looking for a way out. Her second thoughts about the wedding were a direct result of her unresolved feelings for Jack and he knew it. Hell, even when Shanahan proposed to her she had tried to get Jack to open up. 'What about you?' she had said. But he had practically ignored her question, giving her an answer that barely satisfied his own need for closure, let alone hers.
"She deserves someone who can look after her," Jack said after a few moments of silence. "Pete can do that. He's young and whole and he loves her. You have to give him that."
"But she wants you," Jacob practically yelled, trying with all his might to make Jack understand. As much as his daughter put on a front of subordination, politeness and in some cases, indifference, Jacob knew that Sam's feelings for her CO were too strong to forget because of some cop who she had met a year ago.
When Jack said nothing in return, Jacob stayed silent. He took his time to study the General, knowing full well that there was something else to the story. He knew Jack well enough to know that he would not back down from a fight. The years spent working along side with him had led Jacob to believe that Jack O'Neill would do anything to make sure that he got what he wanted. He also knew that the man would do just as much and more to make sure his daughter was happy and loved. Yet for some reason it seemed that the two things were contradicting each other. For some reason Jack couldn't see that Sam could be happy with him and he could be happy with her.
Unless of course, 'happy' wasn't on his wish list.
It all began to make sense for the dying old man. Jack had practically said it himself. 'She deserves someone who can look after her.' Jack didn't think he deserved to be with her. He didn't want to be with her. He didn't want to be happy.
Jacob could understand this. He had felt exactly the same way when his wife had died. It had been his fault and there was nothing he could do to change it. The only thing that would console him was the fact that he could punish himself. He could stop himself from being happy again, and in some strange way, the world would be right again.
As he looked over at the leader of the SGC, he knew that it was a problem that the other man shared. But how could he convince him that his time for grief was over?
"You know, Jack," he began, breaking the ice once again, "When Sam was in cadets, I met a woman."
Jack raised an eyebrow, curiously.
"I've never told this to Sam," Jacob continued. "I've never told anyone. Her name was Violet. She was the sister of my friend Michael. Sam knew her, but she never…knew." Jacob stopped, trying to put the story into words properly. He had never told anyone this story and he hoped to god that Jack understood. "We were good friends for many years. I helped her move into her house, fixed her plumbing every now and then. She had Michael over every few weeks and I'd tag along. I was…I fell in love with her. Hard. She was like no other woman I'd ever met. I knew she felt the same way. There were times when…if I'd just…I might have had her," he said, beginning to lose momentum. "But I couldn't. I still blamed myself for Sam's mom's death. I still do. But I loved her. Both of them. I loved Violet more than anything else in the world, but I couldn't let go of the life I had. I didn't want to hurt Violet like I had hurt my family, and I just didn't want to be happy again. I didn't deserve it. So I did nothing."
Jacob sighed fully and rested his head onto the pillow, his eyes never leaving Jack's.
"What happened to her?" Jack asked, his voice no more than a grunt. Jacob grimaced. He could tell that Jack was beginning to understand.
"I have no idea," he said sadly. "I think she got married, had children, the things normal people do. I was deployed in the Gulf and I never saw her again. Do you get what I'm saying, Jack?" he asked, not too sure that Jack really understood his pain at all.
Jack stayed quiet for a few seconds, gathering his thoughts. When he did speak, his voice sounded broken, confused and a little hurt. "Look Jake, I realise what you're trying to do here, but it's different. I get the whole 'Violet' thing, and I appreciate you telling me, but it doesn't have anything to do with…"
"Why don't you tell her then?" Jacob interjected. "If it's not because you don't want to be happy? Come on Jack, don't think I'm incapable of understanding this." He waited for Jack to reply, knowing from experience how hard this must be for him.
"I should have saved him," Jack said at last. "I…it was my gun, Jake. And I didn't do anything."
"There was nothing you could do, Jack."
"I should have done something. I killed him. My own son."
"It was a long time ago, Jack." Jacob said, though he knew it would be of little comfort. "You've payed your dues."
"He was everything to me. Him and Sara…"
"And you're being given a second chance, Jack. You can make things right this time."
Jack looked away again, not wanting Jacob to see the tears that had begun welling in his eyes. Then finally, after what seemed like an eternity of silence, Jack nodded and brushed his hands through his hair. He leaned back in his chair and looked up at Jacob. He could do this. He could let go.
"Listen, Jake," he started, after another long, yet comfortable silence. The other man sat up a little.
"If the time comes," he continued. "Would I have your permission? If…Sam changes her mind?"
Jacob smiled for the first time since Jack had entered the room. "You know Jack," he began, "All my life I have known what I wanted for my children. What careers they would have, what kind of people they would marry." He took a moment to look Jack up and down. "A man like you was far from my mind. You're too old, too worn, too grumpy…" he said, with a small laugh. Jack chuckled a little, not really knowing whether Jacob was being serious or not. "Actually, I had always pictured someone like Daniel," he added cheerfully.
Jack made a face. "Daniel?" he asked.
Jacob shrugged. "That's how I pictured it. He's young, smart, vibrant. But after seeing her with you, I know that nothing in the world would make my daughter happier. Hell, I never thought I'd see her in the military, fighting wars and saving the earth, but she is, and she loves it. And you've been beside her every step of the way, whether you've admitted it or not. What father wouldn't want that kind of love for her daughter?"
Jack smiled and nodded.
"I think it's time to bring that nurse back in," Jacob said with a groan. He shuffled in his bed, closing his eyes. Jack sprung up from his chair to help Jacob, but he waved him away.
"Are you alright?" he asked, not wanting to leave his side.
"Fine," Jacob answered. "Just a little worse for wear."
Jack smiled and made his way to the door to ask the nurse back in. With one hand on the door handle, he turned back to Sam's father.
"Thank you, Jake," he said before exiting the room.
"Thank you,Jack," he returned.
Jacob tried to pay attention as the Tok'ra dignitaries paid him their respects. He took every spare moment to peer up at the observation room to watch his daughter. Faintly hearing the kind words of the Tok'ra operative in front of him, he turned his attention back to the young man, who was thanking him for his years of servitude. When he had the chance, he looked back up at the observation room. Jack was sitting with her now and he could see them talking. Jacob watched as Jack put his arm around her and held her close. He smiled as he began to lose consciousness, knowing that his daughter would finally know happiness.