It's curious, Tony muses, how over the years, when he was learning a Hebrew phrase for Ziva, it was always because she was about to leave.
The first time, she was on her way to Israel, to visit Michael. He wanted to say so much to her then, wanted to remind her that although she might not have been entirely willing to return to NCIS after having been back to Israel, she still had a family here. He wanted to tell her that although she was going back there now, it was just a vacation, that her home was in DC. He had settled on learning a few words in her native language to get his intentions across, to show her that what he was saying were not only casual words of goodbye. "Nesia tova." - Have a good journey. But know where you belong and know we have your back.
The second time, she was flying back to Israel to bury her father. And this time he said exactly what he meant to say. He needed her to know, explicitly, that he was here for her, that everyone was here for her. He needed to have her know that it was okay to let herself fall, that she would be caught. And so he referred to her mother tongue once more, hoping that it would reach her hurting soul more easily. "At lo levad." - You are not alone. I'm always here for you.
But these particular words that are about to be spoken, he had never thought he would say when she was leaving. He'd always thought when he would finally say them, it would be because she was staying, for good. With him. Those words would be said at the right place, at the right time, or maybe not. Maybe they would just casually come out, surreptitiously sneaking their way past his barriers. No matter how he'd say them, he'd thought it would be the beginning of something and not the end of everything.
They are standing at the same airfield where he had told her she was not alone the last time they had parted. But then, he had known with absolute certainty in his heart that she would come back. Now he knows with the same finality that she won't. As she looks at him openly with her big expressive eyes, not attempting to cover up her emotions like she would have not so long ago, he knows he has to tell her. He debates shortly if it would be unfair to impart this on her, knowing they couldn't do anything about it. But the way he sees his own feelings reflected back at him in her eyes makes up his mind in a heartbeat. And so the Hebrew words he memorized long ago, unknowing if he'd ever have the courage or opportunity to use them, tumble out of his mouth without hesitance. "Ani ohev otach, Ziva." - I love you. She doesn't reply with words, but they had never really needed those anyways. The tears that have gathered in her eyes start flowing silently down her cheeks without being acknowledged. Her eyes, filled with love and grief at the same time, quickly flick down to his lips. Taking a deep, shuddering breath she rises on tiptoes and brings her lips to his, just for a fleeting second. He thinks he might hear her whispering something, almost imperceptibly, as she turns around to walk towards the waiting plane. "Io so."
This time he doesn't watch her go. He doesn't want the image of her walking away to be the last memory he has of his best friend, his partner, his soulmate.
He turns his back, but he doesn't move to go home for a long time.