Amazing Grace
written by Sammy
Chris sat at his desk and glared at the empty place opposite him. The place had been empty for several months now. Chris still had the feeling that the next moment, the palm tree doors would open and Rita would walk in, but fact was that that only was Chris' daydreaming. He'd done that a lot the last few months. His partner was gone, and he had no idea where she was, nor why she'd left Palm Beach. He'd done everything to find her, he'd traced down her credit card, the phone numbers she'd called before she left, but nothing. Rita didn't want to be found, and as a cop, she knew what she had to do to not be found by anyone, not even Chris.
"Lorenzo?"
The voice startled Chris. He looked up and saw his Captain standing next to his desk.
"Lorenzo, your work is not going to finish itself, so please, return to those files."
"Yes, Captain." Chris replied, grabbing one of the files from the stack on his desk.
"Chris, I know it's hard, but you know you have to go on. Rita is gone, and nothing is gonna bring her back. She's made her choice, she left Palm Beach and won't come back. If she wanted you to find her, she'd called you. I stood by the last couple of months and watched, but now I have to say this. Lorenzo, pull yourself together. Your life will go on without Rita."
"I know, Cap, it's just so hard without her. I miss my best friend, I miss her cheering up, I miss her smile, her laugh, everything. It's as if a part of me is missing without her. She's... she's Rita, but I guess you can't understand that."
Chris' head sunk, and he began to read the file in his hands, when he felt a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I miss her, too, Chris, but life goes on without her."
Captain Lipschitz walked back to his office. From his door, he watched Chris for a couple of minutes. Ever since he'd lost his partner, he wasn't the old Chris any longer. For the last couple months, Chris was working alone. Mostly court cases with Donovan. Every time Cap assigned him a new partner, it was only a matter of days until he had to separate them again because they didn't work out together.
Harry sighed, and closed the door behind him. He knew something had to change, and he knew exactly that Rita was the only one who could help him. He grabbed the phone and dialed a number he hoped of would help him to find any trace of Rita.
Chris was on his way for lunch at the roach coach, when his cell phone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket.
"Lorenzo." he groaned deeply.
"I heard you were looking for Rita Lance." a male voice on the other end said.
"Who is this?" Chris asked.
"A friend. If you want to find her, book a flight to San Diego. I am gonna call you again."
"Wait!" Chris called into the phone, but the person on the other end had already finished the call.
"San Diego, San Diego..." he mumbled. He turned and hurried back to the headquarters parking lot to drive off to the airport.
It was late afternoon when Chris arrived in San Diego. He'd left Palm Beach in such a hurry that all he had with him were the clothes he was wearing and his cell phone. He hadn't even called Harry before he left. He didn't know exactly what he was doing in California, but this was the first sign of Rita he had the last couple of months.
Chris was waiting outside the terminal in the warm night climate when his phone rang again. He answered the call immediately.
"I see you made it to California already, Mr. Lorenzo."
"Where's Rita, where is she?"
"213 Sunset Drive, Apartment 4. Good luck."
"Wait!" Chris exclaimed. "Thank you, though I don't know who you are."
"You're welcome."
Chris placed the cell phone back in his pocket and called for a cab. On his way to Sunset Drive, he recalled what had happened before Rita had left Palm Beach without a note....
"Where are you going?" Chris asked, when he caught Rita walking in direction of the palm tree doors.
"I am going, Chris." she replied.
Chris caught her by her upper arm and held her back, "Now? We have a case to work on."
"Let me go, Chris!" Rita exclaimed, freeing her arm. "I said I'll go, end of discussion."
"Whoa!" Chris gasped, when he saw the water welling in Rita's eyes. Lately, he just didn't know what was going on with her. She was so moody, yelled at him for no reason, and seemed lost in her own world.
"What is going on with you, Sam?"
"Nothing!" Rita uttered harshly, blinking back the tears. "Can I go now?"
"No, you can't. You can't lie to me."
Chris took her face into his hands and gently wiped the tears out of the corner of her eyes. Rita placed her hand on top of his, for a moment enjoying what he was doing, but then forcing him to remove his hands.
"I am sorry, Chris. You'll always be in my heart."
With that, she ran out of the squad room, leaving a thinking and confused Chris behind.
"Sammy, open up, I have breakfast for us!" Chris yelled for the 3rd time, pounding against her front door. "Sa-am!"
Groaning, he placed the food down on the ground and searched for his keys in his pocket. At the chain, there was a key to Rita's door, which he used to unlock it. He grabbed the food from the ground and walked through the door backwards.
"Why didn't you open the door for me, Sammy?" he called out loudly.
He turned, when his jaw hit the floor. The apartment was completely empty, wiped clean. Chris hurried to the kitchen, but it was empty as well. He took two steps in one when he rushed upstairs to Rita's bedroom, just to see that it was empty as well.
Chris dropped to his knees, "Riiiiiiiita!"
The cab arrived in front of 213 Sunset Drive. Chris paid the driver and got out of the cab. For a while, he stood in front of the apartment building. What was he doing here, and was Rita really living here? He hesitated to enter the complex. Eventually, he walked in, looking for apartment 4. Again, he hesitated to knock.
"Oh, what the heck, I am just gonna do this." he told himself and knocked at the door.
"Hold on, I am coming!" a female voice yelled from inside. Chris frooze. He knew that voice too well, it was Rita's. The door swung open.
"CHRIS!" Rita gasped when she saw Chris standing in front of the door. "What are you doing here? And how did you find me?"
"Can I come in?"
Rita shook her head no, closing the door behind her, "What are you doing here, Chris?"
"I missed you, Rita. You left without telling anybody. You didn't call. You didn't write. Nothing. I thought we were best friends, but best friends don't do such things. I was going nuts."
"I thought I made it clear I didn't want to see you again when I left Palm Beach." she replied harshly.
"Why, what did I do to you? I am gonna try to make it right, just you tell me what I did. Please, Sam."
"It's not what you did, Chris, it's what I did."
"Then tell me." Chris begged. "I will listen. Nothing can be that serious to make you leave your best friend."
Rita sighed and crossed her arms in front of her. She gazed at Chris, when she remembered what had caused her to leave Palm Beach...
Rita had this dream again, the dream of Chris and her making love, but this time it was more real than it had been the last couple of times. First, she was watching it like through a veil. Now, everything seemed so real.
Rita turned and tossed in bed until she finally woke up. She knew that this time, it wasn't only a dream, it was a memory, a memory they both had pushed back in their minds. She'd begged for Chris to make love to her, she'd practically forced him.
Rita buried her face in her hands and began to cry, "I slept with Chris!""
Next to her, Eric began to stir.
"You slept with who?" he asked sleepily, rubbing his eyes. He sat up and placed a comforting hand on Rita's back when he saw she was crying.
"Are you all right?"
"No, nothing is all right. I slept with Chris!" she replied, before realizing what she just had said.
"You did WHAT?" Eric exclaimed, removing his hand from Rita's back in a rush. "How could you?"
Eric pulled the sheets away and climbed out of bed, collecting his clothes from the ground.
"Eric, please, let me explain. It was not what you think." Rita coaxed, tears still trickling down her cheeks.
"You just told me you slept with your partner. All the time I knew something was going on between you two, but this... not in a million years, Rita!"
Eric slipped into his pants and ran out of the room, leaving a crying Rita behind.
"Sammy? Sam, you okay?" Chris asked, waving his hand in front of Rita's face.
"Yeah, yeah, I am." she replied, snapping out of her daze. "Look, Chris, it wasn't a good idea you came here. It makes things only more complicated. You won't understand what I had to do, but I knew exactly there wasn't another way to do. You'll find another best friend. Try Jillian. You two belong together."
Chris was totally confused now. What the hell was she talking about? He shook his head slightly, "Rita, Jillian left for Boston shortly after you were gone."
For a moment, Rita didn't know what she should say. She just stared at Chris, totally shocked. She was about to say something, when some noises emanated from inside the apartment. Chris looked up.
"What was that?" he asked, trying to push past Rita.
"No, Chris, please!" Rita begged, but it was too late. Chris had already pushed the door to her apartment open and walked straight inside. It didn't take him long to realize what or better who was producing those noises. He turned around and stared at Rita, totally confused, shrugging his shoulders at the same time.
"That's Gracie, Chris." Rita simply said as she lifted the crying baby out of the bassinet standing in the living room.
"You... have a child?" he gasped. "Wow!"
"Now you know why I had to leave."
"But... did you tell Eric?"
"She's not Eric's, Chris." Rita replied low, cradling the infant in her arms.
"Whose is she then?"
Rita just looked up at Chris silently while the baby in her arms showed no signs of settling down.
"Rita, if she's not Eric's, whose is she then?" Chris asked again, still not understanding what she was trying to tell him.
For a moment, Rita just remained where she was, rocking her daughter in her arms, before she made a move forward and placed the baby in Chris' arms.
"She needs to be fed. Can you try to calm her while I make the bottle for her?"
Rita walked past Chris to the kitchenette in the apartment. Chris looked after her totally confused, while Gracie began to get more and more fussy. She began to scream at the top of her lungs.
"Sam, what should I do?" Chris asked helplessly.
"Rock her, but gently!"
Chris glanced down at the baby girl in his arms and began to rock her softly. Gracie slowly calmed down, and finally stopped crying. Her tiny hands rubbed her eyes before she stared up at Chris with eyes blue like the ocean.
"That's great, you got her to settle down." Rita smiled, walking up next to Chris with a bottle in her hand.
"She has your eyes, you know that?"
Rita took Gracie from Chris' arms, "No, I think she has her fa..."
She stopped right in her sentence, realizing that she still hadn't told Chris who Gracie's father was.
"You mean she has her father's eyes? Who is this guy? Do I know him? And why didn't I know you dated anyone after Eric broke up with you?"
Rita silently sat down on the couch and began to feed her daughter. The girl accepted the bottle eagerly. Rita knew she had to tell Chris, he needed to know about Gracie's father.
"She has your appetite, Chris." Rita suddenly blurted out, startling Chris.
"My appetite? But... how.... I mean...." Chris stammered, sitting on the couch next to Rita. "We never..."
"We did. That night we worked undercover on the McMillan case..."
"I feel like I am flying, Chris." Rita giggled, staggering across the room. Chris caught her just in time before she could fall onto the floor. She landed right in his arms.
"Flying, Sam, I am flying!"
"Drugs, Sammy, they're sneaking up on ya. Shouldn't have told you to eat that stuff." Chris uttered, sweeping Rita from her feet. He himself had eaten the drugged food that had been placed in front of him, but the drugs worked faster on Rita than they did on him.
"Ooh, I love this undercover work, it is always so much fun." Rita chuckled as Chris placed her down on the bed. "Do you remember this case with the cosmogasms? Whoa, that was interesting!"
"Rita, stop, stop!" Chris demanded when she slowly began to unbutton his shirt. He'd fought the drugs too long, but now he couldn't any longer. He gazed down at his partner he'd pinned underneath him on the bed. She was kissing his bare chest, and he couldn't quite say he didn't enjoy that.
"Make love to me, Chris, make love to me!" Rita begged.
Though Chris knew this wasn't right, he didn't have the strength to withstand her physical attraction. The drugs began to sneak up on him as well and slowly shut off all his senses for what was right and what was not.
Within minutes, they rolled over in bed passionately kissing each other and making love.
When Rita awoke the next morning, her head was resting on Chris' chest. She slowly cast her eyes around, when she realized she was lying in bed together with her partner.
"Chris!" she shrieked, sitting up in bed, when she realized that she was wearing nothing. "OH MY GOD!"
She wrapped the sheet around her, when Chris rubbed his eyes, slowly waking up himself.
"Rita?" he asked, sleepily. "RITA!"
Chris sprung out of bed, even before he realized he was totally nude. In a rush, he grabbed a pillow from the bed and held it in front of him.
"What happened?" he asked, slightly blushing.
"That was something I was gonna ask you as well. Gosh, my head is killing me."
Neither of them could remember what had happened that night. Their minds were totally blank. The drugs had done their work.
"You... we... ugh... did something we better didn't?" Chris stammered, collecting his clothes from the ground. He gestured for Rita to turn around so that he could get dressed. She did as she was told.
"I don't remember. The last thing I remember is that we were sitting in the lunch room with the others, having dinner. Did we...?!?"
"I don't remember either, but fact is we both woke up next to each, nude. What else can this mean?"
"OH MY GOD!"
"I never told you I remembered, I just couldn't. I could pretend nothing ever happened as long as you didn't remember, but then things got complicated."
"You mean her?" Chris asked, indicating the child lying in Rita's arms.
"Yeah, Gracie. Do you know what I felt like when I found out I was pregnant with your child?"
"But, how do you know she's not Eric's?"
"He's sterile, his own decision. Even before my doctor told me I was pregnant, I just knew I was carrying your child."
"Why didn't you tell me? I would have been there for you. We'd have gone through all of this together."
Rita sighed, "I only wanted you to be happy, and you were happy with Jillian. I didn't want to mess things up. I wanted this child, my child, but I knew if I told you, you would drop Jillian. What she told me was absolutely right..."
"Jillian!" Rita uttered startled when she saw Chris' girlfriend walking down the hospital corridor.
"Rita, what are you doing here?" Jillian asked, walking over to her.
"I was just seeing my doctor, you know." Rita replied nervously.
Even before Jillian could say something, Rita's doctor walked out of his office. He approached Rita.
"Ms. Lance, I have your test results here. Congratulations, you're pregnant. I want to see you later this week for an ultrasound. Just make an appointment at the front desk. Good day."
Rita just nodded silently before she collapsed on one of the chairs behind her, burying her face in her hands.
"Rita, are you all right?" Jillian asked her, taking a seat on the chair next to her.
Rita just shook her head silently.
"Hey, you're expecting a baby! That's one of the greatest things in life." Jillian tried to cheer her up.
"Not when your baby's father doesn't know anything about it!" Rita sobbed, turning to look at Jillian.
"Chris told me you and Eric had some problems, but you will work them out."
Rita shook her head, "He can't have any children. It's not his baby."
"But... you weren't raped, I mean..."
"No, no." Rita cut in. "I wasn't."
"Talk to me. I will try my best to help you. You are Chris' partner, he will try to help you as well."
"NO!" Rita exclaimed, jumping up. "You mustn't tell him, not now!"
"Why? I know he cares about you, sometimes more than I think is good."
Rita got really annoyed by Jillian's faked kindness.
"Are you that dense? It's Chris' child!"
"CHRIS' CHILD?" Jillian shrieked.
Rita sighed. She knew she needed to tell Jillian the whole story now.
"Jillian, please, it was not his fault. I think I need to explain you what happened, but not here. It's too complicated and it's a long story."
Silence reigned at the table Jillian and Rita were sitting at. Rita had told Jillian the whole story, though she wasn't very happy with that. Chris still didn't remember what had happened that particular night while working on the McMillan case, but Jillian did, and Rita didn't know if she trusted her enough to keep that as a secret.
"Jillian, I am really sorry for how this turned out." Rita began after several minutes of silence. "I know Chris loves you, and I honestly don't wanna ruin that, but... I want this child. It's also my child."
"You're gonna tell Chris that he's the father?"
"I don't know. All I want is to see Chris happy."
"Then, for god's sake, keep this is a secret."
Rita nodded, "Don't worry, he'll never know about his child, I'll make sure about that."
"Are you telling me that Jillian knew about all this and didn't tell me?"
Rita nodded shortly before she placed the now empty baby bottle on the coffee table in front of her. She placed Gracie over her shoulder and gently rubbed her back to burp her.
"I didn't want to ruin your relationship, and I knew exactly I did if I told you I was pregnant with your child. I kept it a secret, and so did Jillian. We never were more than just best friends, but a child is..."
"You mean it's something more than just best friends?" Chris asked.
"I can't quite explain what it is, but it definitely IS being more than just best friends." Rita uttered. "Try to understand me, I only did this because I wanted to see you happy. It ripped my heart apart to leave my best friend, to know that my daughter probably will never know her father, but I had to make a sacrifice. If I'd stayed, nobody would have been happy."
"You kept my daughter from me, Sam. I didn't know I was a father till 15 minutes ago. Do you really think that makes me happy? Having a daughter and knowing nothing about her?"
"I only wanted to see you happy, Chris." Rita choked on her words, as water began to well in her eyes.
"Do you really think I could be happy without you? Do you know how selfish you were?"
"Selfish? I was selfish, Chris? I made the most difficult decision in my life just to see you happy. That's not selfish!"
"Oh yeah, it is! You kept my daughter from me. That IS selfish!"
For a moment, silence filled the room. Rita had her whole attention turned to her baby daughter. She couldn't face Chris right now. Why couldn't he understand that she did what she did because she thought it was the only way to see him happy?
"Rita, look at me." Chris demanded, pulling her chin to him. "Tell me you really wanted to keep Gracie away from me her whole life. If that's what you want I will go. You won't ever see me again."
A single tear ran down Rita's cheek, "I want you happy, that's all I want."
"I spend the happiest time in my life together with my best friend, with you. I am only happy when I am near you. It's like a puzzle, don't you think?"
Rita chuckled nervously, "Yeah, I think so too. The last few months were horror, being here without you. I needed a best friend."
"You have him back - if you want."
"Yeah, I want."
Chris smiled as he leaned in and hugged Rita close. The embrace broke when the infant lying over Rita's shoulder began to stir and kick with her feet.
"Yo, young lady, what's up?" Chris laughed, lifting her out of Rita's arms. Gracie wrinkled her nose and blinked at Chris.
Rita took her daughter's tiny hands in hers and caressed it gently with her thumb.
"Look, Gracie, that's your daddy." she smiled.
"Yeah, I am your daddy."
Chris kissed the dozing child on the forehead, tenderly cradling her in his arms. It was just a matter of seconds, until she'd drifted off to sleep.
"Rita, what are we gonna do now, I mean, you, me and Gracie?"
"I don't know, I really don't know. All I know is that I need my best friend back. Now I am selfish, Chris."
"Will you return to Palm Beach with me?"
"I don't know if I can, I mean, gosh, this is so complicated. We're nothing more than best friends, and yet we have a child. How are we gonna arrange this?"
"I don't know either, but I want you and her near me."
Rita forced a weak smile, "Give me a little time to think about this, okay? You just showed up at my door about half an hour ago."
"You have all the time you need, sunshine."
Chris got up and carefully placed Gracie down in the bassinet. He silently watched her for a while, when suddenly his cell phone began to ring. He answered immediately, as not to wake the sleeping baby.
"Lorenzo, where the hell are you?" a groaning voice asked at he other end.
"Hello to you, too, Cap. And I am in San Diego."
"San Diego?!? What the hell are you doing in California? You have work waiting for you!"
"I know. Consider me on personal leave for the time being. I have some personal things to work out. I'll call when I am back. Bye, Cap!"
"Lorenzo, wai..."
Harry was cut out in the middle of his sentence. Chris placed the cell phone back in his pocket and turned to Rita, who cleared the coffee table.
"That sounded like good old Cap." she chuckled.
"Oh yeah, good old Cap. He kept me on my toes ever since you left. I guess he got a little annoyed with me."
"I don't dare ask why."
"Oh, you can! No partner was good enough for Sgt. Chris Lorenzo. You spoilt me, Sam!"
Rita stopped in her tracks and walked back to Chris, grinning, "I really missed working with you, big guy."
"So why don't you come back with me then? Your job is waiting for you. I need my partner back."
"I don't know if I can. How can I work with you and probably raise Gracie at the same time, that's not gonna work."
"If you want it to work, it will work."
"Give me time, Chris. I need to think about this. I don't think I can come back and pretend that nothing ever happened. After all, I have a child to support."
"We have a child."
"I need some time on my own. Can... can I call you?"
"I won't go anywhere, not without you and Gracie, Sam." Chris objected.
"Please, give me the time I need. Go back to Palm Beach. I promise I'll call. You just have to promise me you won't tell anybody you found me until I come to a decision as to what I am gonna do.
Chris nodded silently, "But don't forget, I need my best friend back, Sam."
Chris nervously paced the floor or the waiting lounge at the airport. Almost 3 weeks had passed since he'd found Rita in Palm Beach, and now she was returning to Palm Beach with Gracie, their daughter. This all was still so new for him. He'd kept it a secret, for Rita's sake, though he wanted to tell the whole world about the cutest little girl he'd ever seen.
He'd promised Rita to find a place to stay for her and Gracie for the time being - he just hadn't told her that that place was his loft. Ever since Rita had called to tell him she'd return, he had begun to remodel his place. Upstairs should be Rita's and Gracie's little kingdom. He'd placed a crib for Gracie and a changing table in his bedroom. He'd emptied his closet, too.
Downstairs, he'd moved his couch aside, so that there was more space. His clothes were stored in a big wooden wardrobe that was standing next to the window. Everything seemed to be parfait.
"Attention, please! Flight 251 San Diego to Palm Beach has landed at gate 34!"
The loudspeaker broke Chris out of his daze. He'd never been that nervous in his whole life. People walked passed him, but nowhere a sign of Rita and Gracie. Chris grew more and more nervous. What if she'd decided not to come back the last minute?
Finally, after minutes of waiting that seemed like eternity for him, he spotted Rita leaving the plane.
"SAMMY!" he called excited, waving his hand in the air.
Rita slowly made her way through the crowd of people. Over her shoulder, she was carrying a diaper bag while Gracie was sleeping in her car seat.
"I am so glad to see you." Chris smiled, hugging her close. He kissed her on the forehead before he turned his attention to the slumber infant.
"Hey, how's my little girl?" he cooed, tickling her belly.
"Not, Chris." Rita objected. "She was all fussy the last couple of days and this is the first time she's really sleeping."
"Is she all right?"
"Yeah, she is. I guess it was just all that stress with packing the stuff for moving."
"So it's final? You'll stay in Palm Beach?"
"Why do you think we're here?" Rita grinned at him. "C'mon, let's get my luggage and get going. I am absolutely tired."
Chris just smiled as he placed his arm around Rita's shoulders and led her down the corridor.
"Sammy, what do you have in those suitcases? Stones?" Chris muttered as he carried two suitcases upstairs to his loft.
"Ooh yeah, that's what I missed, your constant sulking." Rita teased. She opened the door to Chris' loft with his keys he'd given her earlier. She gasped when she saw what he had done. Chris realized her gasping immediately. He dropped the suitcases to the ground and approached her.
"I thought it would be a good idea for you to move in with me until you find something of your own. I didn't want to see you two staying in a shabby motel or somewhere else."
"Thanks, Chris, but you didn't..." Rita tried to object, but Chris silenced her with his finger on her lips, "I did this because I wanted to do it. Upstairs is all yours, Sam. Go and look."
Rita didn't know what she should think when she walked upstairs. She placed the seat with her sleeping daughter on the bed and looked around.
"What do you think?" Chris asked excited, stopping right in front of Gracie's car seat. He opened the straps and lifted his daughter. "We have an empty closet for your and Gracie's stuff, there's a changing table and here," Chris carefully bent over the crib and placed his tiny daughter down, "is a crib for Gracie."
Chris turned and looked at Rita, "Oh, and one thing, we need to arrange the bathroom thing, I only have one."
"We need to talk, Chris." Rita stated. She crossed her arms in front of her and left the bedroom, indicating Chris to follow her.
Chris didn't like the tone in her voice. It sounded too serious. There was something going on, and he didn't like the way it started.
"What is it? You don't like it?" Chris asked after they'd sat on the couch.
"No, it's not that, but there are some things we need to talk about. First of all, Gracie."
"What about her?"
Rita took a deep breath before she started, "Gracie is my daughter, Chris, not ours."
"But..." Chris objected, but was cut of by Rita, who raised her hand.
"You have no obligation to this child, she's my responsibility. I never gave you the choice to tell me whether you'd be okay with her being born or not. I decided on my own, and I don't want you to ever regret any decisions I made."
"But, Sammy...."
"No, let me finish this. You don't even remember the night we made her, but it happened, so I had to deal with it. You were the donor, Chris, and nothing else." Rita paused for a moment. "I've come to a decision. Nobody will know who Gracie's father is."
"Why am I not to tell anybody? She's mine, my flesh and blood!"
"This is gonna be a secret between you and me. We know, and that's all people who need to know. It's none of somebody else's business, just ours. When Gracie is old enough, we'll tell her the truth."
Chris sprung up from the couch, "You mean you won't let her know that I am her father? Hell, Rita!"
"What else shall I do? We are partners and best friends, but partners and best friends don't have children together. What I told you is the only way I can do this, be here in Palm Beach with Gracie. She'll always be near you, you know that, but she will just know you as mommy's partner and best friend and not as her father."
Silence reigned in the living room for a moment, while Chris paced the floor.
"You're not going to keep her from me, are you?
Rita shook her head, "No, you can see her whenever you want. I am not gonna keep her away from you, I just don't think it would be good she knew from the beginning she was a failure. I don't wanna let my daughter feel something like that because I love her more than anything, even if it started out differently."
"Fresh air, yeah, fresh air, I guess that's what I need now."
Chris grabbed his keys from where Rita had placed them and left his loft, leaving Rita and Gracie behind.
When Chris returned, he'd planned to tell Rita that he absolutely wouldn't agree as to what she'd told him before. After all, Gracie was also his daughter, he had no doubt of that. Rita would never lie to him. She needed to know her father, and Chris intended to do everything it took to be the best father Gracie ever could have.
He placed his keys on the small table next to the door, when he spotted Rita lying on the couch, sound asleep. He moved over and kneeled down in front of the couch, gently caressing Rita's hair. She just stirred, but didn't wake up.
Chris turned his gaze away from her, when he heard low crying emanating from upstairs. He stood up and went upstairs. Gracie lay in the crib, wide awake, her eyes darting around curiously. The moment she saw Chris bending over her, she began to cry again.
"Hey, what's up, Gracie? You tried to get someone's attention? Well, you have mine now."
He sat down on the bed and gently rocked her in his arms. The infant stirred in his arms, obviously searching for something. Chris wanted to keep her head still, when she snapped for his pinkie and began to suck it.
"Oh hello, I think you're hungry. Let's see if mommy has a bottle ready for you in this bag."
Chris reached for the diaper bag standing on the ground next to him and opened it. It didn't take him long to find the bottle under all the toys, diapers and clothes. He was about to start feeding Gracie, when something shot in his mind.
'Heck, Lorenzo, don't you know you need to heat the bottle before?' he reminded himself and got up.
"Shht, sweetheart, we'll go downstairs now to heat the bottle for you, but mommy is still sleeping, so you'll be a nice little girl and won't wake her up, got that?"
Gracie just stared at him, while still sucking his pinkie. Her eyes darted around, a lot impressed by her new surroundings. Chris tiptoed downstairs to the kitchen, where he silently pulled out a pot, filled it with water and placed it on the stove.
He leaned back at the counter while heating the bottle and studied his daughter. A broad smile broke out on his face.
"You look so much like your mommy, Gracie. This tiny little nose, the mouth... yeah, you definitely got that from Rita." Chris paused for a moment, before he went on further, "I am gonna tell you something. I'll tell you that I am your father, no matter what your mommy says. You deserve to know who he is. You may happen to be the production of an, ugh, let's say weird night, but I don't think of you as a failure, like your mommy said. A child, especially a beautiful and handsome one like you, can never be a failure."
Chris grabbed the bottle out of the pot. He held it in his hand for a moment, to see if it was warm enough. He frowned, before he sucked it himself to test the heat.
"Yeah, I guess that's warm enough for you, sweetheart."
Gracie accepted the bottle eagerly. Chris just could smile at how fast she emptied the whole bottle. He placed the bottle aside when he realized that Gracie probably could need a new diaper as well.
"Hmm," he rubbed his temple, "we either wake your mommy or I'll give it try. What, can't be that difficult to change your diaper."
Chris made sure that Rita was still sleeping on his way upstairs. She had to be totally worn out. Gracie giggled as Chris placed her down on the changing table and opened the straps of her outfit. The girl just giggled at every move Chris made.
"You think that's funny, huh?" Chris giggled, blowing at her belly.
Gracie began to giggle even more. She squirmed on the table, and Chris had difficulties holding her still to open the dirty diaper, but finally succeeded. He held her still with one hand, while reaching for the diaper bag with the other. He finished changing the diapers when Rita walked into the room. She stopped at the top of the stairs as Chris hadn't noticed her.
"What's so interesting at the ceiling?" Chris asked, looking up at where Gracie was constantly staring. "What do you see there?"
A broad smile broke out of Gracie's face. She squirmed and waggled her feet. Chris just giggled as he blew at her belly again.
"You better get her dressed." Rita suddenly broke the moment.
"We were just having a little fun together. Tell mommy how much you enjoyed it, sweetheart."
Chris dressed her in her outfit and closed the straps before he lifted his daughter on his arm and handed her to Rita.
"Tell mommy what we did together." he cooed at the girl, tickling her belly.
"What did you do?"
"Daddy heated..." Chris stopped in his sentence when he realized the look Rita shot at him.
"I fed and changed her." he said coldly, turning away to take the dirty diaper to the waste bin.
"Chris, please." Rita begged, following him downstairs.
"You said your peace, finished, but don't think I can agree to that." Chris threw the diaper away. "Why did you first tell me she's my daughter when you ask me not to tell anybody now?"
"What else could I do when you suddenly were standing in front of my apartment?"
"You could have lied to me, like you plan on lying to our daughter."
"I am not going to lie to her!"
"If you really wanna do what you've planned, you need to lie to her."
Rita shook her head and turned on her heels, "I don't think it's such a good idea we're staying here with you, Chris. That's not gonna work out."
"Where are you going?"
"Just out of here!"
"Please, Rita, don't leave." Chris begged, holding her back. "This is still all new to me."
Rita stopped and turned, "You never questioned any of my decisions before. You always stood behind me, supporting me whatever I was doing. What has changed now?"
"Everything has changed. There's Gracie, our daughter. Listen, Rita, OUR daughter! Ever since I found you, I had to think about her. My dad made a lot of mistakes, in most ways I never really knew him. I don't wanna make the same mistakes, I want Gracie to know who her father is. She has the right to know me."
"She will know you, I will make sure of that."
"Oh, she'll just know me as mommy's friend and not as her father. That's different. All I want is for her to know who her father is, who she is. Gosh, I don't EVER want to take her away from you if that's what you're afraid of. She belongs to you, but I want to be part of her life, too, as her father and not as some friend. Can't you understand that?"
Rita walked past Chris without understanding and placed her daughter down in the crib. For a while, she stood there and just watched Gracie, as the tears began to trickle down her cheeks.
"I guess I really blew it this time, huh?"
"No." Chris assured her, encircling her with his arms. "You'll blow it if you shut me out of her life as her father."
Rita shook her head, "I didn't want to do this, Chris. I didn't want to keep it a secret I was pregnant. I didn't want to keep her from you, neither did I want to hurt you, but I know I did exactly that with everything I've said and done. Once I thought I had found a way to go on, bummer, the next problem was there, waiting for me to make a wrong decision again."
"You didn't make any wrong decisions, Sammy, maybe some unusual ones. I know you wanted the best for our daughter." Chris turned her around to face him and took her hands into his. "From now on, we will go through this together, like we always did. Gracie will have a mother and a father, okay?"
Rita nodded reluctantly when Chris pulled her into a hug.
Baby cries filled the whole loft early the next morning. Chris rolled over, pulling the pillow over his head. He groaned into it loudly as Gracie didn't stop crying.
"Not even 5 minutes of sleep." he muttered, getting up.
Dressed only in his boxers, he went to the kitchen to make himself a cup of coffee. To his surprise, the coffee was already ready, he only had to pour himself a cup.
"Rita?" he called upstairs, but apparently she didn't hear him over Gracie's tantrum.
"Sam, is everything all right?"
As he didn't get an answer, he placed the cup aside and moved upstairs where he found his daughter lying in the crib. He lifted her up.
"Hey, who's crying there? Hum? What's it you don't like?" Chris cooed at the infant, rocking her in his arms.
Gracie was satisfied once being rocked in her father's arms. She stopped crying immediately when Chris placed her dummy in her mouth.
"Rita?" he called out loudly, when the door to the bathroom swung open.
"Hell, didn't you hear her crying?" Chris snapped.
"How should I? I was under the shower!" Rita snapped back, taking Gracie out of Chris' arms.
"The shower?" he yelled at her. "She sounded like she was gonna die or something, screaming louder than a starting aircraft and you didn't hear her under the shower?"
"No, Chris, we won't go there again. We've been fighting yesterday already, and it's not gonna do some good to Gracie. I didn't hear her, finished. Besides, you were here."
"I am sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to yell at you. I guess I am not running on all cylinders."
"Hit the shower. You still have some time left before you have to leave for work."
Chris just nodded and walked off to the bathroom. After he had finished showering and dressing, he went downstairs to the kitchen where he found Rita sitting at the counter and reading the newspaper. Gracie sat in her car seat on the counter in front of her mother and stared off at the ceiling.
"What's so interesting?" Chris asked the infant, looking up at the ceiling as well.
"I am looking for an apartment for Gracie and me." Rita replied, thinking he was talking to her. She looked up from the newspaper when she realized that Chris' question had been for Gracie.
Chris poured himself another cup of coffee and sat down at the counter as well.
"You want to go to the shop with me? I think Cap will be happy to see you again."
"Yeah, why not? Afterwards, I can check out some of these ads."
"Okay. Let's go."
Rita had a strange feeling in her stomach when she and Chris entered Palm Beach Police Headquarters. It had been months since she'd been there the last time, but to her it felt as if she'd never left. Everything was still the same.
"So how are we gonna do this? With Gracie I mean?" Chris asked, stopping in front of the palm tree doors.
"Since she's sleeping, I don't think I'll take her in right now. How about an empty interrogation room?"
"Deal."
Rita brought the slumber infant to interrogation room 3. She closed the door behind her, in hopes nobody would walk in on her sleeping daughter. Then she walked off to the palm tree doors and stopped in front, taking a deep breath.
"You nervous?" Chris asked, placing his arm around her shoulders.
"Yeah, I think I am. Coming back after all those months..."
"Cap will be happy to see you, I know that."
Rita just nodded as Chris pushed the doors open and guided her inside. The first thing she saw was her desk, empty.
"My desk, it's still there." she uttered surprised, running her hand over it.
"Hey, do you think we just threw it out? No way!!"
Rita smiled and turned in direction of Cap's office. The door and the shades were closed, so Cap. Lipschitz couldn't have seen her so far. Rita nodded shortly at Chris before she went over to the office and knocked at the door.
"Come in!" Harry said, without looking up from his files.
Rita opened the door and poked her head inside.
"You got a minute, Cap?" she finally asked.
Harry's head shot up, "Rita? Oh my god, where the hell have you been?"
He got up and went to give her a big hug.
"Oh, it's so good to have you back. Lorenzo over there was going crazy without you."
"Yeah, I missed you and Fran, too, Cap."
Harry guided her to the couch and indicated her to sit. Rita did as she was told.
"Tell me, where have you been? And why did you leave?"
"That's all a long story." Rita began. "I was in California until Chris found me there a couple of weeks ago. He talked me into coming back to Palm Beach, and here I am."
"If that all was Russell's work, I am going to..."
"No, it wasn't." Rita cut in. "It was my decision to leave. It has nothing to do with Eric. You soon will see why, Cap."
"Oh, I am so glad you're back, Rita."
Harry hugged her again.
"Me, too, believe me, me, too!"
The moment was broken by Chris, who walked into the office, "Ugh, I don't wanna interrupt something, but, Sam, I guess IR3 just woke up."
Rita stood up, motioning for Harry to follow her.
"Lance, Lorenzo, what the hell are you doing now?" he exclaimed, following them to interrogation room 3.
"Cap, I still owe you the reason for why I left." Rita responded upon entering the room. She moved to the table and lifted her crying daughter out of the car seat.
"A baby?" Cap gasped as Rita laid the infant in his arms.
"May I introduce you to my daughter, Grace."
Cap was too stunned to say anything. He looked down at the crying baby girl in his arms, suddenly realizing that it would be better to rock her to stop her crying.
"She's really yours?" he asked reassuringly, before he handed the baby back to her mother as she didn't stop to cry.
"Cap, what kind of question is that? You just have to look at her to tell she looks exactly like Rita."
"Oh yeah, she definitely does. You can be very lucky she didn't get her father's nose." Harry chuckled.
"Cap, she's not Eric's."
"Not?"
Rita silently shook her head, trying to calm down her crying daughter. Harry moved closer to Chris.
"Who's is she, Chris?"
Chris hesitated for a moment. Should he tell Harry the truth? Rita had told him not to, and for her and Gracie's sake, he needed to keep this a secret. Chris just shrugged his shoulders.
"She didn't tell you?"
"No." Chris replied firmly and short. He hated lying to Harry.
"Chris, were did you put the diaper bag?" Rita interrupted the two whispering men.
"Diaper Bag?" Chris replied, rubbing the back of his head. "You had it, not me."
"Sheesh, then it's in the car. Keys?"
Chris searched for his keys in his pockets and handed them to Rita, who left the interrogation room with the crying child on her arm.
"Okay, Lorenzo, from the very first beginning. Where did that child come from?" Harry asked, leaving the room as well.
"Cap, do I really have to explain you where the babies come from?" Chris whispered, as they entered the squad room.
"NO! What I meant is where THAT baby came from. If she's not Eric's, whose is she?"
"Why do you ask me that? Ask Rita, I have no idea. When I found her in San Diego, Gracie was there."
"Yeah, I think I really need to talk to Rita about all that. After all, she just left the force without telling anybody and suddenly walks into my office with a baby."
"If you get a clear answer out of her, please tell me."
It was dinner chez Lipschitz two days later. Frannie was all over the little girl. She and Rita stood over the car seat and watched the sleeping infant.
"Oh, she's such a cutie. So handsome, so beautiful. My, I could just cuddle her the whole day."
"Yeah, I believe that, I could, too." Rita chuckled.
"Does her father know about her?"
Rita didn't give her an answer to that question. Yet, she wasn't quite sure what she would tell people about Gracie's father, but she was sure she wouldn't tell them who it really was.
"Rita? You didn't answer my question."
"Uhm, I think I need a new glass of apple cider. I'll be right back."
Frannie just shook her head as she watched Rita heading for the kitchen. She had no idea why she was avoiding this topic so much. There had to be something very interesting about Gracie's father. She just couldn't place a finger on it.
"Is Fran still all over Gracie?" Harry asked when Rita walked into the kitchen.
"Oh yeah, she is. Hmm, what smells so good?"
"Turkey." Harry smiled, pulling the oven open.
"Oh, how long did it take you to talk Frannie into preparing a turkey for dinner?" Chris, who returned from the bathroom, chuckled.
"The stuffing, Lorenzo. The turkey is all for you, we eat the stuffing. That's how I talked her into preparing it. And when she doesn't notice it, I am gonna eat the meat, too!"
Chris and Rita just laughed while Harry prepared the turkey for taking it into the living room where the table was set. A couple of minutes later, the 4 adults sat at the table and enjoyed their dinner.
"Now tell me, Rita, what do you want to do now, once back in Palm Beach?" Frannie asked curiously.
"First, I am looking for a place for Gracie and me. We can't live with Chris forever. Then I'll look for a baby sitter and a job."
"Job?" Harry cut in. "You have a job waiting for you. That's - if you want it back."
"You mean I can have my job back?"
"It's yours if you want."
"Thank you, Cap!"
"Your badge is waiting, you just have to come and pick it up, and it's yours again. Just don't wait too long, your partner here is unbearable without you."
"Is he?" Rita chuckled, patting Chris' shoulder.
Chris just grinned sheepishly, "Thank you, Cap!"
"So you will come back to the force?"
"Yeah, yeah, I think I will."
"Great!"
Chris was moving around the crib in the nursery of Rita's new apartment. Yet, he was alone, but Rita had to arrive in a couple of minutes, and he wanted at least the nursery to be ready when she arrived. At the door, he'd pinned a colored ceramic plate he'd specially had made. It showed a teddy playing with the letters G-R-A-C-I-E. All in all, the nursery just looked terrific.
"Oh Lorenzo, you did good!" he praised himself when he heard the door being opened. In a rush, he closed the door behind him and went to greet Rita at the door.
"Chris, what are you doing here?" Rita asked astonished, as he scooped Gracie out of her arms.
"Nothing important, I just thought I'd help you a bit moving in."
"Why don't I like they way this is starting out?" Rita uttered, giving him a look.
"No, no, no, don't look at me that way, I did good this time, really!"
"You did? Show me."
"Okay."
Rita followed Chris to the nursery. While Chris placed Gracie in her crib and pulled faces for her, Rita stood and watched.
"Why did you do this?" she finally asked.
Chris looked up from the crib, "What? You don't like it?"
"I can take care of my daughter pretty good, I don't need your help, Chris."
"Time out, Sam. Not only your daughter, our daughter. Why can't I do just a little for her, too?"
"I don't want anything from you. You are not to buy her anything. If Gracie needs something, I will buy it and not you. And, she is MY daughter."
"Wait a moment, I thought we agreed on this."
"YOU agreed on this, Chris. Gracie is my daughter, my responsibility. I don't want anything from you. We agreed that you can see her every time you want, but nobody will know you are her father, and that's final."
Chris started to say something, but Rita raised her hand to silence him, "Don't try to talk me out of this. I made up my mind, and you knew it from the beginning."
"Oh, that's good, Rita. I find you and you tell me I have a daughter, just a 'she has your appetite', nothing else. Then you come here and suddenly I am no longer her father? You think it's that easy?"
"It's not that easy, I know, but it's not gonna work differently. If you want the best for Gracie, you'll accept my wishes."
"You think it's the best for her to be raised in one big lie? I am not going to do that to her, and I really don't know how you can do that to her."
"I think it's better you go now." Rita stated. "I'll be interviewing nannies in about an hour, and Gracie needs to take a nap, but she can't sleep when you yell around here."
"I am not gonna let this slide. We're going to discuss this again and again and again until you finally see what you'll do to her. Bye."
Chris placed a quick kiss on Gracie's forehead before he stormed out of the apartment.
Rita was back on the job for about a month now, but everybody could see she and Chris didn't work out the way before she'd left. Something was between them, and they were the only ones who knew what it was.
George whistled softly as he walked over to their desks. The air around them was so tense that you could almost cut it with a knife.
"George, what a pleasure to see you." Chris uttered through gritted teeth when he noticed the DA standing next to his desk.
"I have to ask you two a favor. I need you in court this afternoon."
"Oh no, c'mon, George, no court work." Chris began to whine.
"Is this really necessary? I have no one for Gracie this afternoon."
"I am sorry, but there's nothing you can do to get out of this. Everything you need to know is in those files. I'll meet you in court at exactly 1:30pm, and not one minute later. Talk to you later."
Chris groaned as he grabbed the files from his desk, shoving them over to Rita's.
"What? Why do I get them now?"
"Your work."
"Hey, George placed them on your desk, your work."
"Nope, your work."
The two started to argue about whose work this was, and grew louder and louder. They didn't even notice Harry walking up next to them.
"You have a problem, Sergeants?" he asked, giving them a look over his glasses.
"No, not that I know off." Rita responded through gritted teeth. "Chris was just going through HIS files."
Chris bared his teeth as he took the folders out of Rita's hands.
"Good. For a moment I thought you two had a problem there."
"No, not even one single one."
'Yeah, and I am a Saint.' Harry thought to himself as he went back to his office.
"You... have no baby sitter for this afternoon?" Chris asked after minutes of silence.
"No. Lucy has to take her son the doctor's for a routine check-up. As you might remember, I told you two days ago already that I have this afternoon off. Now I need to find a baby sitter for Gracie."
"Hey, it's not my fault we have to be in court. If you need a baby sitter, ask Frannie. I think she'll be more than eager to watch Gracie."
Rita reached for the receiver of her phone and dialed a number, "Just what I was thinking about."
"There you go, all dry and happy, sweetheart." Frannie cooed at the baby as she lifted her from the changing table.
A smile broke out on Gracie's face. Frannie glanced at her, slightly irritated by the way the infant smiled at her. She didn't have much time to think about why it was annoying her, as there was a knock at the door.
"Shall we go and look who's at the door, yes?"
Gracie giggled in response, squirming on Frannie's arm. Frannie left the nursery to go open the door. Much to her surprise, it was Chris.
"Aw, there's my sweetie!" he exclaimed, scooping Gracie out of Frannie's arms. He walked past her, paying no attention to her.
"Huh, did you miss me? Yeah, I missed you, too."
Frannie just watched those two. She closed the door and went to where Chris had sat on the floor, the baby girl in his lap. He began to play with her, earning strange faces from Gracie.
"Hello Christopher." Frannie finally said, placing her hands on her hips.
"Oh, hi Fran." Chris replied distractedly, pulling more faces for Gracie. "Oh, I knew you'd like that!"
"This little girl was just ready for a nap till her mommy gets home from court." Frannie lifted the girl out of Chris' lap. "By the way, what are you doing her anyway? I thought you both were at court."
"Rita is working on some details with George for tomorrow, so I thought I come over and look how little Gracie is doing. Can I put her down for her nap?"
"Sure, why not?"
Chris took Gracie out of Frannie's arms and brought her to the nursery where he put her down in her crib. Chris smiled down at the infant and covered her with the blanket before he left the room. He joined Frannie in the kitchen.
"Fran, can I ask you something?"
"Always, doll."
"Ugh, you know, I thought about Rita's decision to keep Gracie's father a secret. Do you think what she did was right?"
"It was her decision, and I am not going to question it. When the time comes and she's ready, she'll tell us who the baby's father is." Frannie replied, handing Chris a cup of coffee.
"I am just thinking about Gracie's father. What if he wants to tell everybody about her, but he can't because Rita says he shouldn't?"
"If he wanted to do that, he would be here now with Rita and the baby and not somewhere else."
Chris remained silent for a moment, sipping his coffee. Suddenly, he placed his cup down and began pacing the floor.
"Okay, that's it, I can't stand it any longer. Fran, I am Gracie's father."
"What?" Frannie gasped.
"Yeah, you heard right, Gracie is my daughter."
"But, that means that you and Rita..."
Chris shook his head, "Not the way you think. We were drugged and ended up in bed together. I have no clear memory of that night though. All I know is that the little girl sleeping in the nursery is my daughter, and Rita has decided that I am not to tell anyone, not even Gracie!"
"Why are you telling me then?"
"I think I needed to tell someone what a cute little girl I have and how proud I am. Rita and I are partners and best friends, but we have a baby together. Rita somehow can't deal with that, but I think I can."
"I already knew that something was bothering her, but I couldn't tell what. This certainly isn't easy for her, Christopher, not with her best friend being her daughter's father. I won't tell her I know, for Gracie's sake. Be a little patient with her."
Chris just nodded, since he knew that Frannie probably was right.
Chris placed the floor of his living room. He knew things couldn't go on like that any longer. The tension between him and Rita was unbearable, he knew that, and he needed to do something about it. He grabbed his jacket and keys and left his loft to head to Rita's place, where he knocked at the door about 20 minutes later. She opened the door for him immediately.
"Chris!" she exclaimed surprised.
"Can I come in?"
"Yeah, sure."
Rita closed the door behind Chris and followed him to the living room.
"Is Gracie sleeping?"
"Yes. What do you want, Chris?"
"I wanna talk to you."
"Geez, why can' you just let this slide? Gracie is my daughter."
Chris raised his hand, "Hold on a second. I don't wanna go there again, at least not now. I've come to talk to you about something else. I remember there once was someone who told me they needed their best friend back. Now look at what happened to us. We can't really talk to each other. I miss that. I need my best friend back, too."
Rita plopped down on her couch. Chris just watched her, shrugging his shoulders. Rita patted the empty spot next to her. He did as he was told and sat down.
"All I wanted was my best friend back when you appeared at my doorstep, but I never imagined it to be that hard. It seems as if Gracie is standing between us."
"She doesn't have to be. I think... I think I have to accept what you want. I try my best. For Gracie's sake. It can't go on like this."
Rita just smiled as she hugged Chris. He tightened the embrace and pulled her closer. They could practically feel the tension between them decreasing. For the first time in months, they felt something in each other's presence they'd missed so long - their trust and faith for their best friend.
As every night Saturday afternoon, Chris wanted to shoot hoops on the public basketball court. He exited his car and dragged his bag out of the trunk of his car, when he heard footsteps behind him.
"Excuse me?" a male voice asked.
Chris turned and saw a man with a baby on his arm standing behind him.
"Uhm, I was wondering if you could tell me where the public pool is. There should be a 'Daddy and Me' course."
"Oh yeah, you cross the basketball court and walk down the alley about a quarter mile to the entrance." Chris replied, closing the trunk.
"Thank you."
Chris stared after the guy, rubbing the back of his head. 'Daddy and Me' course, what was that? He began to jog after him.
"Excuse me!" he called.
"Am I going the wrong way?" the stranger asked, stopping in his tracks.
"No, no, no, that's the right way. I was just wondering about this 'Daddy and Me' course. What is this?"
"Honestly, I have no clue." the man chuckled. "My wife put me up to this. She thought I should spend more time with our son. All she told me was I better do this or I'll end up in serious trouble. Now, Davey and I have some time to spend together at the pool."
"You mean the kids in the course are all that small?"
"Yeah, I think so."
"Uhm, where do I sign in for that course?" Chris whispered reluctantly.
"You need a baby before you can sign in, buddy." the man chuckled, shaking his head.
"Oh, I think my daughter will certainly enjoy it. So, where do I sign in?"
"I don't know. Maybe you should just come over with her. Oh, I am running late already. Bye."
Chris remained in the middle of the basketball court. Swimming, that was something Gracie certainly would enjoy.
"I am coming!" Rita yelled annoyed when there was a third knock on the door. She went to open the door and let Chris in.
"You're early, I am not quite ready yet." she told him, heading for the kitchen. "Lucy has to come to pick up Gracie."
"I know I am early cuz I need to discuss something with you."
"What about?" Rita asked, returning with a bottle for Gracie in her hands.
"Gracie. Can I?"
Chris indicated the bottle in Rita's hands.
"Ugh... okay. So I can get ready for work."
Rita handed the bottle to Chris and walked off in direction of her bedroom. Just watched after her till she'd disappeared before he went to the nursery. Gracie lay wide awake in her crib, waiting for her bottle.
"Now, who's already waiting for her bottle, huh?" Chris cooed, lifting her out of her crib.
Gracie squealed with delight when she saw Chris' smiling face. Her tiny hands reached out for her bottle, which she began to drink eagerly once Chris placed it in her mouth.
"What do you think when the two of us go to this 'Daddy and Me' course. Would you like that? Yeah?"
Gracie stared up at her father with shining blue eyes. Her tiny hand reached out and patted Chris' cheek.
"Yeah, I knew you would like that. But we'll keep this is a secret. I think your mommy wouldn't be very pleased with knowing about it."
Gracie had almost finished her bottle when Rita entered the nursery.
"She finished?"
Before Chris could even answer, there was a knock at the door. Rita went to let Lucy in. She had her 2-year old son Scott with her.
"Wacy, Wacy, Wacy!!!" the boy trembled, dragging at his mother's hand.
"Hi Rita, sorry I am late, but Scott made a little tantrum this morning."
"No problem. Gracie is in the nursery. She's fed and changed, so you can just take her with you."
"WAAAAAACY!" Scott suddenly yelled at the top of his lungs.
Lucy finally let go of her son's hand. The boy took off in direction of the nursery and ran right into Chris' legs.
"Hello, who do we have here?" Chris smiled at the boy.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHH!" Scott screamed, running back to his mother. He hid behind her legs, reluctantly peering at Chris.
"Oy, you have quite an effect on kids, Sam." Rita chuckled.
"Yeah, that may I say." Lucy laughed. "Scotty, that's Chris, he's Rita's partner."
"Wacy mine." Scott whined, reaching his tiny arms out.
Lucy couldn't stop laughing, "No, Gracie is not yours, buddy. We're just watching her while Rita works, you know that."
"Ah, Rita, we're running late for our appointment with McGregor."
Chris handed the baby to Lucy. Scott scrutinized Chris closely while the adults said goodbye. He didn't even notice his mother was about to leave. His gaze was fixed on Chris.
"Buddy, mommy and Gracie are leaving, won't you come with us?"
Scott turned irritated, nodded, and toddled away after Lucy.
"I believe you needed to discuss something with me?" Rita asked as she grabbed her purse from the table and locked the door behind her.
"I wanted... ah, yeah. I thought, I mean, ugh..."
"Spit it, Chris." Rita demanded.
"Okay. Since Gracie is there, you don't have much time for yourself alone. I thought maybe I can take her now and then so you can do all those things women like to do, like go shopping and that stuff."
"You want to take her?"
"Not a whole day, if you mean that, just a couple of hours. How about next Saturday?"
"Wait a minute." Rita cut in. "You think I can't handle Gracie, my job and everything?"
"No, that's not..."
"I am very much in the position to handle it, Chris."
"Will you please listen to me?" Chris grew more and more impatient with her. "I did not say you can't handle all that, it's just that I want some more time to spend with Gracie, and not only to come over before or after work and feed her. Maybe I'd like to take her out for a walk now and then, you ever thought about that?"
"I already told you so many times you have no obligation to Gracie, she's my responsibility and that's that. I don't want anything from you."
"But what if I feel responsible for her? She's my daughter, too, you can't ignore that. Look, I know you don't want anything from me, but I... I care about Gracie, she's important to me, too. Now I've said it."
Silence reigned as Chris and Rita got in Chris' car and drove off to their appointment with McGregor.
"Okay." Rita suddenly said, startling Chris.
"Okay what?"
"Okay that you can take Gracie from now and then. I told you I don't wanna keep her from you, and if that's what you wanna do, it's okay with me."
Chris smiled, "Thanks. Means a lot to me."
Chris loosened the straps of Gracie's car seat and got her out of the back of his car, at the same time grabbing his bag with his free hand.
"You didn't tell your mommy where we were going, did you?" Chris asked his tiny daughter as he carried her towards the entrance of the public pool. "I bet she's gonna be really mad at me if she finds out where we are now instead of going for a walk in the park. You are my little girl, too, and I say we both go to the 'Daddy and Me' course. You'll certainly like it."
Gracie just giggled in response, like she always did when Chris spoke to her. He'd never seen her doing that when anybody else was talking to her, especially Rita. Chris just needed to say her name, and a broad smile broke out on the infant's face.
Chris stopped in front of the entrance to shift Gracie to his left side and the bag on his right shoulder, when someone walked up next to him.
"I see you weren't kidding." the guy from the week before chuckled.
"Nope. Chris Lorenzo, my daughter Gracie." Chris introduced himself, shaking the stranger's hand.
"David Sanders, my son Davey."
"Now, since this is your second time here, you can certainly tell me what you guys do in those courses."
"Well, we go in the pool and play with the kids. They seem to have fun."
"That's all? You just play with the kids? You can do that at home, too."
"It's different than at home. You'll see."
Chris and David made their way to the locker room to change into their swimming outfit. Gracie lay in a playpen together with several other babies, waiting for their fathers to dress them, too. Dressed in a pair of boxers, Chris moved to get Gracie out of the playpen.
"Uhm, David, that may sound a little dumb, but do the kids wear their diapers in the pool or not?"
David just chuckled at that question.
"What? I said it may sound dumb."
"You ever saw what a soaked diaper looks like and how heavy it is? You don't want to drown your daughter, do you? Just dress her and be careful she doesn't poop or pee into the pool."
Chris shook his head as he pulled out a pink bathing suit with a Minnie Mouse on the front out of his bag.
"I hope you fit into this thing." Chris said as he began to undress his daughter. The dressing part instead, was a little more complicated than he'd expected it to be. Gracie squirmed, never allowing him to pull the straps over her shoulder.
"Can you remain still for at least a moment, honey? Daddy needs to dress you in this, otherwise we can't go swimming."
Gracie rolled from one side to the other. She enjoyed Chris' attempts to dress her, probably thinking it was some playing. Finally, after a long battle, Chris had her dressed. When he lifted her up, he found himself alone in the locker room.
"Now see that, everybody left us already."
Chris locked the locker behind him, grabbed the towels and headed out of locker room to join the other fathers and their kids at the pool.
Rita was already impatiently waiting for Chris to take Gracie home when he finally arrived.
"Where were you? You were to return her about half an hour ago already." she shot at him, taking her daughter out of his arms.
"I am sorry, we lost track of time."
Rita studied her daughter intensively, as if Chris had harmed her in any way, but all she noticed was that her fuzz of brown hair was totally tangled. She looked at Chris, who just rolled his eyes.
"What did I do now?"
"You see what her hair looks like?"
"Oh gosh, Rita, I just forget to comb it after..." Chris stopped, biting his lower lip. No, he wouldn't tell Rita where he was with Gracie, no way.
"After what?"
"After.... after..." Chris stammered.
"Christopher Lorenzo, what did you do with my daughter? I take it you weren't at the park with her, were you?"
Chris rubbed the back of his head and began to grin sheepishly, "No?"
"I knew it from the beginning it wasn't a good idea to let her go with you. That's not gonna happen again."
"Wait a moment. You say I am not to take her again?"
"Not as long as I am not around."
With that, Rita left him behind alone in the living room. Chris groaned and left, slamming the door behind him.
It was way past working hours when Frannie walked into the squad room to pick up her husband. Much to her surprise she only found Chris sitting at his desk, annoyingly flipping pages in the folder in front of him.
"Christopher darling, what are you doing here at this time of the day?"
Chris head shot up from his file, "Oh, hi Fran. I was just getting through some files. You know, I have this very strict Captain and he wants me to have them done by yesterday already."
Just by looking at Chris, Frannie could tell that something else than working on those files was bothering him very much. One guess, it was Rita and Gracie.
"You have any problems?" Frannie asked, pulling a chair closer and sitting down.
"No, why?"
"I have never seen Christopher Lorenzo sit here in the office that time of Friday night working alone."
"Why shouldn't I work alone? Would you rather see Rita here with me instead of being home with Gracie?"
Uh oh, there was the point! He HAD problems with Rita again, and it certainly concerned their arrangement with Gracie.
"I take it, you and Rita had an argue about Gracie again."
"That's all what we do at the moment, arguing about Gracie. See, I wanted to spend some time with Gracie and took her to a 'Daddy and Me' course at the public pool. She enjoyed it so much, she's going to be a little water rat, I can tell you that. Now, I forgot to comb her hair afterwards and was like 20 minutes late, and Rita jumped up and down my throat because of that. She said I was not to take her out alone again."
"And all because of that?"
"I don't know. I really don't know what I did wrong. All I wanted to do was spending some time with my daughter, but she won't let me. Why can't she understand that Gracie is important to me, too?"
"You ever told her that?"
"Yeah, I told her that Gracie is important to me, that's why she said I could take her out on Saturday afternoon. I told her I wanted to take her to the park cuz I know she'd never allowed me to take to that course. She doesn't see me as Gracie's father, and that hurts me, cuz I AM her father."
Frannie smiled at Chris, placing her hand on top of his, "I know she probably doesn't want to hurt you. Talk to her about that and she'll understand."
"I tried, but she won't listen to me."
"Hon, can you do me a favor? I was to pick up Heschy, but it just occurred to me that I have a charity breakfast tomorrow and forgot to buy something. Could you give him a lift home?"
"Sure, whatever. I have nothing else to do."
"Thank you." Frannie got up and pushed the chair back to where it was standing before. "And Chris, talk to Rita."
"I will."
Rita was sitting in the rocking chair, he daughter draped across her shoulder. The girl was dozing off to sleep, while her mother hummed a lullaby for her. Rita was just about to place Gracie in her crib, when there was a knock at the door. She covered her baby daughter with the blanket and kissed her on her forehead before she went to answer the door. To her surprise, she found Frannie standing in front.
"Fran, hi!" she greeted her obviously irritated.
"Doll, I know it's late, but can I come in? I have something to talk to you about."
Rita moved backwards to let Frannie in. She closed the door behind her.
"I wanted to talk to you about Chris."
"Chris? Why?"
"He told me that he's Gracie's father."
"I told him he shouldn't!" Rita exclaimed, crossing her arms in front of her.
"What I have to tell you is going to take a little longer, so you better sit down first."
Rita sighed as she sat on the couch next to Frannie. She was so enraged. How could Chris tell Frannie?
"I talked to Chris tonight, and honestly, I've never seen him more miserable before."
"And you think that's my fault."
"Yeah, I think that. Have you ever thought about what you do to him?"
"And what am I doing to him?"
"Let's see, how would you feel when you knew you had a daughter, but her father didn't want anyone to know who her mother was because he was ashamed of that? How would you feel when he didn't trust you to be alone with your child?"
Rita remained silent. For the first time ever, she started to truly understand what she had done to Chris. She'd never intended to hurt her that much, but apparently she had.
"Chris really cares about you and Gracie." Frannie went on further. "I was really surprised to hear tonight that he even went to a 'Daddy and Me' course at the public pool with her. I know he told you he'd take her out for a walk at the park because he feared you'd jump up and down his throat if you'd find out. Is that what you want? Chris having that much fear of you that he starts lying to you so that he can spend at least a little time with his daughter? I really don't understand you."
"No, that's not what I want. When Chris found me in San Diego... all I wanted was that our relationship was like it was before I got pregnant. Partners and best friends. I thought all that would change once everybody knew who Gracie's father is."
Frannie placed a comforting hand on Rita's shoulder, "Rita, it changed the moment you decided to have this baby, the moment you told Chris about her. Other people don't form your relationship. It's you two who do. Have a little faith in Chris and let him be what he is, Gracie's father. He still can be your partner and best friend. Sooner or later you have to deal with what happened. You can't run away from that forever. The longer you wait, the more complicated it gets, trust me."
"You really think Chris would be a good father for Gracie?"
"Yeah, I think he would. He loves her, that's the most important."
Chris was about to leave for shooting some hoops at the basketball court. He sighed as he packed his bag and found Gracie's bathing suit. It was time for their second 'Daddy and Me' course, but instead of going to the public pool, Chris could only go to shoot some hoops. He closed his bag when there was a knock at the door. Much to his surprise he found Rita and Gracie waiting for him.
"I hope we are not too late."
"Late for what?" Chris asked irritated as he closed the door behind them.
"For your 'Daddy and Me' course."
"How...?!?"
"I had a talk with Frannie last night. She made me see some things from your point of view. I made you lie to me to be allowed to spend some time with her. All I wanted was our relationship to be like it was before I got pregnant, but now Gracie is there and I can't ignore you are her father. I think I forgot that for you spending time with her is as important as it is for me. I am sorry."
Chris remained silent. For the first time in months, Rita was honest to him, and most of all, honest to herself.
"I know you're probably mad at me for everything I did, and I am truly sorry for that. I never wanted to hurt you, I hope you know that. It just took me some time to realize that we are the ones who form our relationship, and not others. That was what I always feared, losing my best friend when everybody knew I had a baby with him. I am not going to let them do that to me, to us. I care about you, and I think you'll be the father my daughter deserves. That's almost everything I wanted to tell you." Rita shifted the babbling baby on her arm. "Go to daddy, sweetheart. I am sure you'll enjoy a wonderful afternoon together."
Rita handed the baby to Chris. Then she turned and was about to leave, when Chris held her back.
"Sam, wait a moment." Chris uttered, forcing her to turn around. "Thank you."
"No, don't thank me."
"Yes, I do need to thank you. For Gracie." Chris smiled as he placed a kiss on Rita's forehead. "What do you think about joining us at the pool after the course? I think it would do Gracie some good to spend some time with both of us together."
"No, you deserve the time with her alone, that's the least I can do."
"What if I want you to be there? Please?"
Chris flashed his best puppy look. Much to his surprise, Gracie started imitating him. Chris and Rita just stood and laughed, before they headed out of the loft together.
Gracie slept peacefully over Chris' shoulder. Dressed in a long white gown, she looked like a little angel.
"I can't believe she's sleeping." Chris chuckled, as Rita lifted her up on her arm.
"It's her nap time. I think she'd even sleep through the biggest hurricane."
Gracie stirred and showed signs of waking up the next few moments. She rubbed her eyes with her tiny hands and blinked into the sun.
"Hello sweetie." Rita cooed at her little girl while Frannie, Harry and George walked up behind them.
"She ready for the ceremony?" Harry asked, cuddling the fuzzy infant.
"Yeah, she is. But, uhm, I need to tell you guys something before we go and celebrate her christening."
Frannie nodded silently at Rita. She was the only one who knew what she was going to do. Not even Chris knew about this.
"Harry, George, I kept this a secret long enough. I want you to know who Gracie's father is."
Chris began to shake his head, whispering, "No, Sammy, don't! You don't have to."
"No, Chris, it's time for the truth. I know you love your daughter, and you shouldn't hide this. Cap, George, Gracie is Chris' daughter."
"Chris?" Harry gasped.
"Yeah, Chris. And I am glad it's him and not someone else. Now I've said it."
Chris placed his arm around Rita's shoulders and squeezed her closer. They went inside the church for the christening. Gracie sat on her mother's arm, a lot impressed by the water in the baptistery. Rita could barely keep her still on her arm.
"What name have you given this child?" the priest asked while closing the bible in his hand.
"Grace Christina Lance-Lorenzo." Rita responded.
"What?" Chris gasped, only audible for the two persons standing on each side of him, Frannie and Rita.
"Shht." Rita whispered, "I am gonna tell you later."
The priest went on further, "You have asked to have your child christened. In doing so, you are accepting responsibility of training her in the practice of the faith." He paused as he turned towards Frannie, who dragged Harry closer to her, "Are you ready to help the parents of this child in their duty?"
"We are." Frannie responded, bumping Harry in his chest with her elbow.
"Yes, we are." Harry agreed.
"We welcome you with great joy. In his name, I christen you for the savior by the sign of his cross..."
Gracie, too curious to remain still on her mother's arm, reached into the baptistery as the priest poured the water over her head.
"...and of the son, and of the holy spirit. Teach them to carry out everything I have commanded you and that I am with you always, until the end of the world."
Gracie clapped her hands when the priest finished pouring the water over her head. She cast her eyes around, looking for someone particular. It didn't take her long to spot her father next to her. She reached her arms out towards him, so Chris took her out of Rita's arms.
"Grace Christina Lance-Lorenzo, can you explain this to me now, Sam?" Chris asked as he carried Gracie outside of the church.
"At first I never wanted to tell you about her, neither wanted I to tell her about you, but I still wanted to give her a part of you. That's where the middle name came from, Christina." Rita explained, tickling her tiny daughter. Gracie enjoyed it, squirming on Chris' arm.
"No, I meant more about her last name."
"Well, she has a mother and a father, and since we don't have the same last name, she needed a double name."
"You didn't need to do that, I hope you know that."
"I wanted to. That was the least I could do."
Chris smiled, "I think Gracie is going to be one happy little girl with us as parents, huh, Sam?"
"Yeah, I think so."
The end
Standard Disclaimer: The characters of Christopher Lorenzo, Rita Lee Lance, George Donovan, Jillian Dupree, Eric Russell and Frannie and Harry Lipschitz belong to Stephen J. Cannell and USA Network. Gracie Christina Lance-Lorenzo belongs to me. No infringement intended.
Thanks go to Kristiina who edited this for me on short notice.
Amacing Grace
By: Sammy
A secret Rita keeps from Chris is nearly going to eat up their friendship
Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Words: 16,242 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 1 - Published: 1/2/1999 - id: 6473
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Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten
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