Title: Unexpected Pining
Inspired by The Script's Breakeven
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Erica comes back and finds things have changed. She and Callie talk, and Erica realizes there is no going back.
Author: Y3lhsa
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
She walked into the bar not knowing what to expect, yet hopeful it would look the same as the last time she had been there. Logic tore that hope to pieces, however you can't tell the heart what to feel. It had been thirteen months since she had last set foot in this city and all she wanted was to get the lay of the land.
It was a Saturday night and hopefully there would be enough people to hide in and also to find out what had changed or stayed the same. Her patient wasn't due until the next afternoon, but she needed time if she was to keep her ground, stand tall and look her mistakes in the eye.
There were groups of people all throughout the bar; tables, karaoke machine and bar surrounded by men and women laughing, talking or staring morosely into their drinks. She eyed a secluded area off to the right. Detouring to get a shot and a beer, she found herself searching the faces of the women looking for the last person she wanted to see and the only person she needed to see.
Taking her time with her beer soaking up the energy and vitality of the chaos around her, she slowly relaxed, sinking into the back of the chair. The tightness in her belly gradually loosened and her head stopped spinning. The relief she felt at not recognizing any one in the bar shocked her.
A chill breeze swept through the room and drew her gaze to the door as four people entered the bar. A subsequent chill swept through her body as she watched Sloan and the younger Dr. Grey enter followed by a blonde woman and Callie. Sloan immediately went to the bar and ordered drinks while the women sat at a table close to the juke box. They looked happy, talking and laughing, not paying attention to any of the fellow patrons. Callie looked so beautiful. She seemed so happy and so unlike the last time she had seen her.
In fact, she hadn't looked so happy and relaxed at any point in their relationship, the friend part or the other part. Her heart contracted as she realized that Callie had moved on in the past year. As Sloan walked up to the women passing out drinks, Callie slid her and the blonde's drinks away from Dr. Grey who looked longingly at the glasses causing the others to laugh. She found herself making her way to the door before she consciously decided to leave.
Sneaking a look before walking out she watched Sloan take Dr. Grey's hand and inspect the bandage covering her finger. Then she was walking and breathing the cold crisp air outside, striding blindly towards her car wondering where she was supposed to go from here.
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Waking up to the alarm clock and not a beeper has to be the second best way to wake. The alarm shut off almost as soon as it sounded and the sound of Arizona rolling off the bed and opening drawers greets Calliope as she rises to meet the day. She has three surgeries scheduled throughout the day as well as dinner and a movie to look forward to. When Arizona pauses and kisses her on the way to the shower, Callie is reminded of how happy she is and drags Arizona down for a longer kiss. She sinks into it, savouring the slow lazy press of lips on mouth and tongue stroking against hers.
'I love you.' Callie murmurs, pulling back to look at her.
Arizona grins, 'Good, I love you too. But I have a surgery first thing after rounds so I have to go. Meet me for lunch?'
'Yeah… 12:30?'
'That works for me. Now get out of bed, I'm going to put coffee on then we'll head out.' Arizona bounces out of the bedroom and Callie can hear her greet Owen and Cristina.
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At least the hospital looked the same as before, if not the people walking around in it. She knew about the merger and also about George and Izzie. She felt remorse for George and everyone in the hospital; she knew he was well liked. Hell, she liked him as well.
When she heard about it, she was tempted to call Callie or Mark or maybe visit, but she wasn't ready to face Callie and the thought of talking to Mark about anything didn't sit well with her. So she waited and after awhile it became easier to not think about her, to not turn to share something with her and realize that she was no longer there.
She felt like a cliché and hated it, but she got over it. She started dating again, stumbling around the newness that was her life. She was able to start over, no one knew her there. There was no mixing business with pleasure this time; her personal life didn't make it into work. She found bars and clubs to frequent and had fun.
There wasn't anyone special, but there also wasn't anyone. She was content. She was only here to update the new cardio and pediatric attending, reassure the patient and her parents that they didn't have to worry about her care.
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Arizona came rolling up to the table lunch tray in hand. Sitting down she looked at Mark before addressing Callie, "So I know it's movie night but I looked up what was playing and there isn't really anything out I want to see. What about you?"
Looking slightly surprised Callie replied, "Neither did I actually, you beat me to the punch. You still want to go out to dinner or," sliding a mischievous glance at Mark, "pizza in bed works for me as well."
"We just happen to be thinking alike today Calliope. Pizza in bed it is!" Arizona grins at Mark's groan. "Teddy and I have a consult with a visiting surgeon a little later. If you've finished, maybe you could meet me on paeds and we'll leave from there?"
"That works for me. I don't have any surgeries scheduled, so with any luck we'll get out of here early for once!"
Conversation flowed around the table as Dr. Altman and Owen joined them.
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Erica Hahn was going over her charts one more time before meeting with the other doctors. After they went over the charts together, she would introduce them to the parents. If everything went smoothly it shouldn't take more than an hour or so.
"So, I hear you have some very special plans tonight?" She looks up as two doctors round the desk. Sitting inside the conference room, Erica waits patiently for them to make their way to her.
"You could say that. It's kind of a tradition. Pizza in bed. We manage it every couple weeks." The shorter blonde replied, grinning.
"Must be nice working together, at least you can see each other at work if you're schedules don't match."
"You bet!" Winking, she continued. "The interns aren't the only ones who use the on-call rooms."
When they realized she was already there, they drew up short. More amused than embarrassed, Dr. Robbins held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Dr. Robbins, the paeds surgeon. This is Dr. Altman. We're here for the consult on Jesse Taylor?"
Standing, she shook their hands as she introduced herself. "Erica Hahn."
"Erica Hahn?" Dr. Robbins asks. She looks shocked although Erica didn't know why she would be. "Yes?" Glancing at Dr. Altman, she looked just as confused.
She shook her head. "Sorry. I just didn't realize you were the consult. Shall we begin?"
As she predicted it didn't take long to catch the doctors up to speed. They met with the parents and everyone seemed comfortable with each other. Erica walked the parents back to their son's room and said her goodbyes. There. She was done, mission accomplished. Now all she had to do was make it out of the hospital and then she would be fine. She couldn't get rid of the knot in her stomach. Hopefully once she was out of the hospital and on the plane, it would dissolve.
The doctors stopped talking when they saw her walking back and now Dr. Altman looked a bit uneasy. What was going on? They were at the elevators when the knot in her stomach grew into a lead ball dropping to her knees.
When the elevator opened, there was Callie Torres. Looking as shocked as she currently felt. Well. Shit.
Before she could do anything, Dr. Altman shoved Dr. Robbins in the elevator and pushed the down button. When the doors closed on the startled women, it shook her out of her daze.
"So, are you staying in town any longer?" Dr. Altman asks, like that was an everyday occurrence around here.
"What? No, I have a plane leaving in a few hours. I should go."
"Ok, nice to meet you Dr. Hahn." Nodding, she took off for the stairs and ran down them like she was being chased.
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"Arizona? Was that Erica Hahn?" When Arizona kept looking forward, Callie took her arm and turned so they faced each other.
Nodding Arizona confirmed it. "That was Erica Hahn. I swear I didn't know she was the consult. I would have warned you, I promise." When Arizona started to babble, she had a hard time concentrating.
"I know, I know. I'm not mad Arizona. If you didn't know, you didn't know. I was just shocked. She's the last person I expected when the doors opened that's all. Are you ok?" Callie raises Arizona's chin with her fingers.
"You're asking me? You just saw the woman who left without a word and you're asking about me?" Arizona was baffled.
"Arizona, I got over that a long time ago. It doesn't bother me. She's just another part of the whole, a tiny part. She's the part of my life that led me to you. The reason I'm happy." Callie is so earnest; Arizona can't help but believe her.
Smiling Arizona leans into Callie. "Then yes. I'm ok."
They received another shock when the doors opened again. They saw Dr. Altman running down the stairs headed for them.
"Um, Teddy? Are you ok?" Arizona asked baffled.
"Me? I'm fine." She shrugged. "I just thought maybe you needed a few moments to get over your shock. It was the only thing I could think of." She looked a bit sheepish as they chuckled.
"Well, I do appreciate it. I'm fine. It was a shock but nothing I can't handle." Callie's still smiling when they hear a ding and see Erica Hahn once again in front of them.
"Callie."
"Erica."
Arizona looks from one to the other. "You know. We'll just go, let you two catch up."
Callie grabs her hand as she steps away. "Wait, what about our plans?"
Arizona smiles as she squeezes her hand. "I'll just wait awhile before I order the pizza. It's ok, take your time."
"Ok." Callie watches as they walk through the double doors, then taking a deep breath she looks back at Erica.
"So; I see you're not kind of anything anymore."
"Erica, I don't want to fight with you." Callie moved to one of the couches by the entrance and sat.
Following her, Erica sat in the chair beside her. "I'm sorry, that was petty of me. I didn't actually expect to see you."
"Same here. So, you're the doctor whose patient transferred here? Arizona didn't mention which specialty so I didn't even think it could be you."
"She was surprised when I introduced myself. Now I know why. I'm just here for the day. I fly out later tonight."
There were a few minutes of silence. Neither of them seemed to know what to say. Callie spoke up first.
"How have you been? Do you like your new hospital?"
"It's a good hospital. There isn't as much drama and gossip as is here. I'm happy." There was no way she was going to tell her that she sometimes wished she had never left. She had to keep something. "What about you? I was sorry to hear about George. I know you still cared about him."
"Yeah, it was rough. It was so sudden and it took me a long time to get through it. It took all of us by surprise. But we've moved on for the most part. There are still some days I look around and wonder where he is. It takes a few seconds to realize he's never going to walk around the corner. That he's not going to be in the pit during a trauma. I've made my peace with it. I'm happy. I'm really happy. I made attending." Callie announces proudly. She's in street clothes so I thought she was still a resident. Of course she has always been a great surgeon, so I should have expected that.
"Congratulations! That's great."
"Are you seeing anyone?" The question shocks me and I don't really know how to answer that. Making up my mind I decide to be honest.
"No. I've been dating, but not anyone in particular. Maybe after a while I'll settle down, but I'm not in any rush. I go out, I have fun. Then I go home. Sometimes I don't go home alone, but if I do, it's ok. I've made a few friends outside of work. It's a good life. I like it." I realize that that is true. As much as I regret leaving the way I did, I don't regret my life now. "What about you? Are you and Dr. Robbins…?"
"Yes. She started here a couple months after you left and I was feeling a little depressed. Mark started seeing someone and I wanted to be alone for a while. Then Arizona corners me in the bathroom at Joe's." She grins at the look of confusion on my face. "She's one of a kind, unlike anyone here. She works with kids so maybe that has something to it. She's perky and happy and almost always in a good mood. She likes to help people and she doesn't let anything bring her down for long." Laughing she shakes her head. "Sorry, I'm talking too much."
"I'm glad. I'm glad you're happy, that you've found someone who makes you happy. Speaking of, I don't want to keep you from your plans. You still live across the street?" They stand up and when Callie nods, they head to the entrance and out into the evening air. Looking in the direction of her apartment Erica silently says goodbye to the hope she had held that maybe someday they would reconcile. "Goodbye Callie." She couldn't quite bring herself to shake hands or give her a hug, so she just stood there.
"I'm glad you came, Erica and that you're happy with your life. Goodbye." With a wave, Callie leaves her side and strides across the street and into her building. Taking a few moments to take it all in, Erica finally walks away from the hospital and the woman who had changed her life.
