Authors note. Mind you this isn't a real or based around me this is a fictitious one shot that if everyone likes I may continue and make a story that leads up to this one shot to explain what causes Bella to come to her decision.

I write depending on two circumstances

1. What is happening in my life, or what I dream up?

2. What music I'm listening to

So onto the story and please Review and tell me how it is and if I should continue it

I have no idea who will read this first or even if anyone will read it, but that's not the point; this is my last message to everybody.

To my parents, mom I love you but you are a good mother but you did shit when dad would come home and beat me after a bad day at work. You just sat on your ass and said stuff like 'Just get it over with Bella , He'll chill out soon enough, What the hell he never chilled out he just got worse each time till he would pass out. Dad what the hell when you married my mom you were the greatest person in the world, I looked up to you and you let me down I want to say I love you but then I would be lying. I stopped loving you when I was ten. When we were out of the house you would put on the perfect husband and father role you were the police chief and no one had a clue you're a very good actor, but when you would come home even when you were sober you would go all ape-shit on me. I really wished you loved me and if you do love me I wish you had a better way of showing it. Mom I seriously wish you had gotten me out of this hell hole when you had the chance but no you love his sorry ass.

To my friends, Alice your constant trips to the mall was nothing more than torturous when you and Rose decided to drag me to hell and back. You dragging me to one store after another was never something I liked, I actually hated it and Bella Barbie, But I will surely miss out on the bonding and girl talk that we would and could have had if I didn't decide to do this. Jacob, you are one of my best guy friends I know you tried to get me to go out with you and I'm sorry that I never thought of you as more than a friend/brother. Emmett oh my god, you were one of the few people that could make me laugh without even trying and thus making me feel better. Jasper even though you've always been the quiet type, I always loved just sitting with you in the library reading. I love you all so very much.

To Carlisle and Esme, You both were the parents I wish I was born to; you have always been there for me through my clumsiness and everything that has happened to me. I hope you can forgive me but I think this is what I have to do or I may just go crazy.

To Derek my dear cousin, you knew I never cried unless something bad had happened and when I would call you crying, you would always start off with 'who do I kill this time. That always made me feel better especially when you would tell me about your crazy ass friends causing me to laugh. I know you know how I feel in a sense since your father was also a jackass, please don't do what I'm about to do, I want a full happy life for you, you deserve to have a job a life and a family, just make sure the girl you chose isn't a Psycho-Bitch. And please move the hell out of there and get away from your father. You will always be one of the few people who could make me feel better, you were always a comfort for me I love you so much.

What can I say about the bitches mainly Tanya, Lauren, and Jessica who just made my life a bigger hell than it ever was before they came into the picture?

Finally Edward, I bet you were wondering what I would say about you, well now that I'm dead I can't possibly be embarrassed for saying this but here it goes. Edward you're the sweetest person I've ever known and my only friend that truly knew all the shit I've gone through. You were ready to kill him at my command and I appreciate that but my last wish to you is for you not to do that to anyone even him. You probably didn't know it but each time I would look at you I would nearly faint, I know that I have loved you since the fifth grade and when I met you I knew we would be best of friends. I really wish you loved me back but I know that you probably just think of me as your sister or as just a friend. I love you Edward and thanks for everything.

To everyone who I care about please don't mourn my death especially if you feel like you have to, I don't believe that when you die your soul stays around I believe it dies with you and that is a comfort to me.

I love you all even my mom and dad.

P.S. Edward I left this on your porch because I wanted you all to be the first to read this Edward you know where I would want to end my life the only place that would make be truly happy other than your arms.

Love Bella

A.N if you want me to continue the story and let you know what causes Bella to go over the edge and what Edward finds when he finds her will she be dead or alive. Please tell me if this is what you think I should do also if you know someone who has committed suicide and or someone who you think may be suicidal please read below. I have almost killed myself several times and some of this does fit with me but I don't plan on doing such when I have a loving family especially since I have my very own Edward and Derek who is also like Emmett and a girl who is a mix of Rose and Alice all of which fit the persona of the characters in this story.

Statistics

Over one million people die by suicide worldwide each year.

The global suicide rate is 16 per 100,000 population.

On average, one person dies by suicide every 40 seconds somewhere in the world.

1.8% of worldwide deaths are suicides.

Global suicide rates have increased 60% in the past 45 years.

One of the leading causes of death amongst teenagers is suicide. The Centers for Disease control report that it is the third leading cause of death, behind accidents and homicide, of people aged 15 to 24. Even more disturbing is the fact that suicide is the fourth leading cause of death for children between the ages of 10 and 14.

There are several different factors that made lead a teenager to take his or her life, but the most common is depression. Feelings of hopelessness and anxiety, along with feelings of being trapped in a life that one can't handle, are very real contributors to teen suicide. In some cases, teenagers believe that suicide is the only way to solve their problems. The pressures of life seem too much to cope with, and some teenager look at suicide as a welcome escape.

Other factors that may contribute to teen suicide include:

Divorce of parents.

Violence in the home.

Inability to find success at school.

Feelings of worthlessness.

Rejection by friends or peers.

Substance abuse.

Death of someone close to the teenager.

The suicide of a friend or someone he or she "knows" online.

Signs that your teenager may attempt suicide

It is important to be on the look out for signs that your teen may attempt suicide. What is so difficult about some of these warning signs of teen suicide is that some of them are similar to normal adolescent behavior. The teenage years are a trying time, and sometimes normal behavior looks a lot like possibly destructive behavior. But it doesn't hurt to look into the following warning signs of teen suicide:

Talks about death and/or suicide (maybe even with a joking manner).

Plans ways to kill him or herself.

Expresses worries that nobody cares about him or her.

Has attempted suicide in the past.

Dramatic changes in personality and behavior.

Withdraws from interacting with friends and family.

Shows signs of depression.

Shows signs of a substance abuse problem.

Begins to act recklessly and engage in risk-taking behaviors.

Begins to give away sentimental possessions.

Spends time online interacting with people who glamorize suicide and maybe even form suicide pacts.

Preventing teen suicide

Often, preventing teen suicide means treating teen depression. Since 75 percent of the people who commit suicide are depressed (according to the University of Texas), it is a good start to begin by treating the symptoms of teen depression.

It is possible to get professional help in preventing teen suicide. Indeed, this is a preferred option. If you are concerned about your teenager, talk to your child's doctor about the available options and therapies for teen depression. You should see someone immediately (and never leave your teen alone) if you suspect that a suicide attempt is imminent. Some things you might try include:

Counseling. This can be done individually or as a family. Techniques allow your teenager to learn to cope with life. Often, when a teen learns how to handle problems (and families learn how to help), the desire to kill him or herself dissipates.

Residential treatment. This is treatment in which a suicidal teen goes elsewhere to live for a time. This can be a special treatment facility, or it can be a therapeutic boarding school. In these settings, the teenager is monitored 24/7 in order to prevent a suicide attempt. Additionally, most residential treatment facilities have trained professional staff that can help a suicidal teen.

Medication. This is often seen as a last resort, or as something complementary to other treatments. It is important to note that in some teenagers, medication can have the opposite effect desired; some studies show that for some teens anti-depressants actually increase the chance of teen suicide. Carefully consider your teen's needs before medicating.

It is important to treat your child with respect and understanding. Show your unconditional love, and offer emotional support. It is important that a teen considering suicide feel loved and wanted. Show your teenager that it is possible to overcome life's challenges, and make sure that he or she knows that you are willing to help out.

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