Title: A Day in The Life
Author: stellajane07
Rating: PG
Characters: Dean, Lisa, Ben
Word Count: 1300
Spoilers: Swan Song
Summary: A day in the life of Dean Winchester.
Disclaimer: Sadly, I do not own Supernatural, I just like to play with the boys on occasion.
Dean wakes up every morning at 6:45 sharp, gets out of bed, goes to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee, and heads to the shower. In his former life he would have taken great pleasure in taking as much time as possible using up all the hot water. But not now. Now he only gives himself fifteen minutes for his shower. He tells himself it's because he has to get Ben up and ready for school, but the truth is Ben is better at getting up in the mornings than anyone Dean has ever seen.
He washes quickly and climbs out of the shower. In his former life he would have wiped his hand over the condensation on the mirror and he would have spent an obscene amount of time smirking at himself, thinking, "I am one good looking dude." But not now. Now he walks quickly by without so much as a glance at the mirror. No, Dean long ago tired of seeing that stranger staring back at him.
He dresses in his work coveralls, takes a deep breath, and heads downstairs. He's unsurprised to see Ben already sitting at the kitchen table, munching on some cereal, waiting patiently for Dean. He pats the kid on the back on his way to the kitchen for coffee. They exchange "Good morning" and "How did you sleep?" just like they do every morning.
In his former life, Dean would have delighted in going to some no-name diner and ordering the greasiest breakfast off the menu. But not now. Now he satisfies himself with a simple cup of coffee.
He sits at the table opposite Ben and they occupy themselves with mindless small talk. Dean thinks he's good at hiding his disinterest but Ben is old enough and smart enough to see right through it. In the beginning it really bothered Ben when he realized that Dean was only listening out of courtesy, but he gets it now. It's not that Dean doesn't want to care, it's that he can't. He doesn't know what happened to Dean to make him this way, he just knows that he doesn't want to make it worse. So Ben lets him pretend, and he pretends right along with Dean.
At 7:30 Lisa comes home from her night shift at the hospital, just like every morning. She feels guilty that she doesn't get to spend as much time with Ben as she'd like, but she knows he's in good hands with Dean. She knows that he would do anything is his power to protect her son from whatever may threaten him, giving his own life if he had to. That's the part that scares her the most. She doesn't believe he would intentionally try to hurt himself, but Lisa knows that something is wrong with Dean. She knows that something is broken inside him and she doesn't know how to fix it.
Dean watches as Lisa gets herself a cup of coffee and walks over to the table, sitting herself between him and Ben. She and Ben talk and laugh with each other, catching up on each others' nights. Dean leans back in his chair and watches. In his former life it would have been easy for him to join in the conversation, laughing and making jokes. But not now. Now he finds it hard to put even a smile on his face and contents himself with just listening.
Soon enough, Lisa stands and tells Ben to go get his things ready for school. He does as she asks and scurries upstairs to retrieve his book bag and Dean and Lisa are left alone. In his former life, Dean would have taken advantage of the alone time to take advantage of Lisa. But not now. Now he simply reaches over to grab her hand, squeezing it gently. She squeezes back and smiles and is pleasantly surprised to see him smile back. That's him making an effort, and she appreciates it.
Ben returns to hug his mother goodbye and to tell Dean to hurry up, because he doesn't want to be late. Lisa laughs at her son's eagerness to get to school and wishes him a good day.
Dean says goodbye to Lisa and follows Ben out to the truck. The drive to school is the same everyday. They listen to the same radio station everyday, they take the same route to school everyday, Dean parks in the same spot everyday, and everyday Ben breathes a sigh of relief when he gets out of the truck because he knows he can stop pretending.
After he drops Ben off, Dean heads to work at the garage. This is the worst part of his day. In his former life he would have relished the opportunity to get under the hood of a car and get his hands dirty. To feel the accomplishment of knowing that he was able to fix something with his own two hands and to feel damn proud of it. But not now. Now he finds himself grossly unsatisfied with the job, because working on the cars of soccer moms and business men just isn't the same. Everyday he finds himself counting down the minutes until he is able to go home, knowing that that time can't come soon enough.
Fortunately that time does come and Dean hurries out of there as fast as he can. He picks up Ben from school and listens politely as the kid tells him about his day and even manages a smile when Ben tells him of his A on his history test.
When they get back to the house, Lisa is in the kitchen making dinner. She, too, hears about Ben's day and gushes excitedly over his history test, telling her son how proud she is, while Dean sits at the kitchen table and watches.
They eat together, with Dean at the head of the table, watching as mother and son enjoy their food. In his former life Dean would have delighted in this home cooked meal. But not now. Now he just pushes his food around with the fork, thinking he could really go for a greasy diner burger right about now.
After dinner Lisa gets ready to go to work while Ben and Dean clean up the kitchen. They don't talk much, having already exhausted their small list of things to talk about, but that's ok with Dean. The less he has to say the better.
Lisa leaves and they both set out to do their own thing. Ben sits at the table and does his homework while Dean flips through the channels on the TV, never finding anything of interest. The rest of the night passes this way, with neither attempting to interact with the other.
Eventually Dean gets up and tells Ben it's time for bed and the kid goes without a fight. Dean tucks him into bed, wishes him a goodnight, and leaves him to his dreams. This is the part of the night that Dean can hardly wait for.
He spends this night the same as he does every night. He goes to the liquor cabinet and gets out a bottle of whiskey and pours himself a very generous glass. He walks out the back door and heads straight for the unattached garage in the backyard. He unlocks the padlock with a practiced turn of his hand and pushes the door open, finally able to breathe for the first time today.
Dean walks slowly into the garage, running his fingers over the smooth black hood. He can barely contain his excitement as he reaches for the handle and smiles at the familiar creak of the door. He sits himself in the most comfortable seat in his world and leans his head back, taking a deep breath, letting the familiar smell of worn leather wash over him and comfort him.
Each and every day Dean pretends to be something he's not. And each and every night, Dean comes home, and imagines Sammy sitting shotgun where he belongs.