WARNING: This failcake of a fic will probably offend pretty much everyone. Contains large amounts of Wtf? Also contains a large scoop of OOC and some pink sprinkled on top. If you dislike Crackfics, I strongly suggest you flee now and never look back.

Also.

Disclaimer. I don't own anything. Nothing! You hear me? All belongs to JK. Rowling... except maybe the sexy tea... that belongs to Dubai according to a friend.

Chapter 1 – Let the wth begin.

"FUCK SHIT!" yelled Malfoy as he hit his foot on the door of the heads common room. Hermione just looked at him as if he was nuts. but did notice the tears streaming from his sexy grey-blue eyes. She had never seen him in this way before. And found it kind of cute how he was hoping round on his unharmed foot yelling in pain. After he had regained his composure, he looked around and noticed the mudblood Granger staring at him as if he was Merlin's beard itself. "What are you staring at mudblood!?" he snarled.

"You crying like a wikkle baby, Malfoy"

"Malfoys don't cry, Granger"

She took a step closer to him. She was about to make a snide remark when she was interrupted by Harry Potter skipping down the corridor wearing a pink tutu with fairy wings strapped to his back, they stared in horror as Ron came running down the corridor after him with his hair dyed bright pink. He was shooting confetti from his wand and singing to himself. They rounded the corner and dissapeared from sight leaving a trail of confetti behind them.

Hermione and Malfoy stood speechless for a second before they were joined by a very pink faced Neville.

"Whats up with Potty and Weasel?" Malfoy remarked, slightly pink faced too, trying to hide the fact he had liked what he'd seen.

"I don't know, I've been chasing them around Hogwarts trying to get them to stop. I think they must have swallowed love potions or something" he looked worried.

"Nothing new there then" sighed Hermione, a little exasperated. She glanced down to see a small folded pink piece of paper at her feet, she picked it up and opened it. It was an invitation to a tea party in the Gryffindor common room, hosted by none other than Harry and Ron. Strangely enough Malfoy was invited too, stranger again there were kisses next to his name.

"Look it's an invitation to a tea party" Hermione had a worried look on her face.

"Were going aren't we?!" Neville looked hopefull.

"I don't know.. maybe we should inform Professor Snape, in case they have taken a potion.. they're acting stranger than usual."

"Nah, leave it Granger. Let's go have some fun!" Malfoy smirked. Hermione looked at him, she did not expect Malfoy to want to have fun at all, let alone go to a Gryffindor tea party.

Hermione, Draco and Neville approached the entrance to the Gryffindor common room. Neville said the password and they stepped inside. The common room was lavishly decorated with pink glittery things, banners and paper chains. The trio looked round in astonishment just as Harry popped out from behind the settee. "Hello there!" he beamed at them. A second later Ron also appeared from behind it too. "We weren't expecting you yet! We've been getting ready".
"Behind the sofa?" Malfoy sneered.

Hermione gave them a puzzled look. She had never known them to act like this.

Ron clapped his hands together and put on a smug grin, as if he was pleased with himself about something "So let's go grab some tea!" he beamed.

At that point, a heavily makeup'd Dean Thomas skipped from the 'kitchen' wearing a sparkly tiara and a matching pink pinny, brandishing a tray full of flowery pink china and an assortment of fairy cakes. "How nice to see you all!" he sang.

"Yes. At least they actually showed up" Harry muttered. Dean placed the tray on the table by the sofa and they all took a seat. Just as they had all taken a cake each, Harry, Ron and Dean all jumped up together and yelled "SURPRISE!!1!1!!" and pink teddy bears fell from the ceiling, pummelling the gobsmacked guests below.

"What exactly is the surprise for?" Hermione questioned.

"TEDDY BEARS!" Ron exclaimed happily, grabbing a bunch in his arms and hugging them tightly. Harry just smiled at them and pointed to the ceiling. Looking up, the guests noticed pink glittery letters on the ceiling reading 'P.P.P'. Draco raised a sceptical eyebrow. "What the fu..."

"What does P.P.P mean?" Neville cut in quickly.

"Pretty Puff Pals!" shouted Dean, giving them a twirl as he did so.

"I knew it was a Puff Potion..." Neville whispered under his breath.

"Tea anyone?" Ron offered, slamming the cup to his lips and gulping outrageously, spilling it down himself, while Harry handed round hot mugs of pink-tinged tea.

"Hmm... okay then.." Hermione agreed unsurely, taking a small sip, Malfoy did the same. Neville looked round in amazement before following suit and taking a large gulp. As if on cue, Harry, Ron and Dean jumped up once again. And began ushering Hermione and Draco out into the corridor while Dean practically dragged Neville up to the boys dormitories. Once the portrait slammed behind them Draco turned to Hermione "They seemed in a bit of a hurry to get rid of us...".

"Yes. I think we are too" she replied

"What?"

"You'll see..." she said as she grabbed him by the hand and dragged him towards the head's dormitory.