Thanks to Mer for putting up with my badgering.
*****
The bombshell came from the last place Sakura had expected, and from the gentlest person she had ever known.
"I've won a scholarship to study film-making in Hollywood for six months!"
Tomoyo's eyes sparkled with excitement, and she had clutched Sakura's arm for an instant. Then she'd stepped away in embarrassment, and held her hands to her chest instead.
"That's...that's wonderful, Tomoyo-chan! Congratulations! I'm so pleased for you. You always made such good movies even in elementary school."
Tomoyo smiled and blushed. "Thank you, Sakura-chan. But I was filming such a cute subject to start with. How could I make a bad movie featuring you?"
Sakura remembered smiling back and saying something self-deprecating. She was a high school student now. She now knew how to deflect Tomoyo's praise.
But inside, she was devastated. For all her magical powers and growing maturity, she wasn't sure of her ability to deal with losing the people she loved. As a child she remembered crying in Touya's arms when their father left to go to a conference or an archaeological site.
But she wasn't a child anymore. She was older and wiser now.
After all, she had said goodbye to Syaoran-kun about five years ago without breaking down. A relative in the Li clan had taken ill, and he'd been called back home. He had promised to return, and she had believed him. But maybe that time didn't count. She didn't know it would be the last time she would ever see him. She hadn't known that increasing his magical powers would always be his top priority. She had been so sure he would return.
Life went on. As long as she didn't think about it, it didn't hurt too much.
Releasing Yue a couple of years later of her own free will had hurt much, much more. Self-deception was impossible. He belonged to Touya now, and separating them was an injustice she couldn't live with. Clow Reed may have given Yue life, but she was the one who gave him his freedom.
Tomoyo once told her that seeing the happiness of the one she loved was enough to make her happy. Having seen Yue's face as she had set him free, Sakura had learned the bittersweet truth of those words for the first time.
Sakura found solace in the knowledge that pain made one stronger. She'd already lost people she loved before. It wasn't the first time, after all.
And she knew she wasn't the only one upset by Tomoyo's news. Sonomi had railed and wept, but her daughter had held firm. For all her gentleness, Tomoyo had an iron will that belied her young age. The only concessions she made were to travel on her mother's private jet, and be accompanied by two of her mother's bodyguards. These tall mysterious women, clad in black, now flanked Sakura and Tomoyo as they walked through the departure terminal of the airport.
"Six months is a long time, Tomoyo-chan. Won't you get homesick?"
Tomoyo smiled, the same sunny smile Sakura knew from childhood. "It isn't that long. I'm going to call my mother each evening to let her know how I am, and I'll send her a videotape a week by courier so she can see for herself."
With Tomoyo away, there wouldn't be anyone inserting a video camera in her face. Sakura had always found her friend's behaviour embarrassing, but the prospect of a camera-free future suddenly seemed too depressing for words.
One of the bodyguards went to the departure gate to enquire about the boarding time. The other led them to an exclusive departure lounge reserved for the wealthy. There were computer terminals in alcoves, with magazine racks and bookshelves in another corner. A small bar served drinks and snacks. The external glass wall provided a panoramic view of the main runway. Normally a visitor like Sakura would not be permitted past Customs, but such regulations were quickly waived for a close friend of the Daidouji clan.
Tomoyo sat down in one of the lounge chairs, and Sakura sat beside her.
"Would you like something to eat or drink, Daidouji-san?" the bodyguard asked.
"No, thank you. How about you, Sakura-chan?"
"No, thanks." Food was the last thing on her mind. She watched a passenger jet as it taxied to the start of the runway. In less than an hour, Tomoyo would be sitting in her own jet bound for Los Angeles.
"I will be here if you need my services, Daidouji-san."
"Of course. Thank you."
The engines let out a mighty roar and the plane began to race towards the sea. It picked up speed, yet it didn't seem so fast from where they were sitting. Then almost like magic, it tilted up and soared away.
"It's amazing how something so heavy can fly," Sakura said. Even in her sadness, she was still awed by the power of the jet.
"Yes, it is. But it's nowhere near as cute and graceful as you when you take to the air, Sakura-chan."
"Thank you, Tomoyo-chan." She did her best to smile back. "Where is your bodyguard? Isn't she going to sit with us?"
"No, she's on duty at the moment."
Sakura looked around, but she couldn't see the elegant woman anywhere. "Where is she? Isn't she supposed to be guarding you?"
"She doesn't have to be by my side to do her job. A good bodyguard knows when to be visible and when to be inconspicuous."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." Tomoyo smiled warmly. "It is very sweet of you to be worried about my safety. But then that is the lovely thing about you: you're always so caring about other people."
Sakura couldn't take it any longer. "Tomoyo-chan!"
"What is it?"
"Forgive me, Tomoyo-chan." Sakura bit her lower lip in frustration. Perhaps Tomoyo wanted to squeeze in as many compliments as she could before she left for good, but Sakura desperately wanted to change the topic. "But I'd much rather talk about you than me. Is that all right?"
Tomoyo nodded, her features becoming serious. "Yes, of course. What is it?"
"I...I don't really understand why you have to travel overseas to study film-making. Couldn't you learn about it here in Japan? There must be many film studios in Tokyo."
"You're right, but Hollywood is famous for its big budget studios. I'll be able to learn so much about digital technology in generating special effects and animation, cinematography and editing, costumes and fashion...this will be my chance to learn from the best in the world. Then I'll be able to make more professional movies of you and your adventures!"
Sakura blushed. Even after all these years, she had never become accustomed to Tomoyo's blatant fan-worship. "Umm...I don't think there's much worth filming now. Tomoeda has been safe for years."
"Even if Tomoeda is safe, there is still much to film about you." Tomoyo's dark blue eyes shone with evangelical zeal. "You are growing up and I must improve my skills if I am to do you justice in my movies. Hollywood will be the perfect place for me to learn how to do this."
It was hopeless. Sakura knew there was nothing she could say. When Tomoyo made up her mind, nothing would alter her course.
"The time will pass quicker than you realise, Sakura-chan. Before you know it, I'll be back home. I'll write to you, and send you tapes as well. Would you like that?"
Sakura bit back the automatic 'Hai,' frustration overriding the courtesy drilled into her from childhood. "But it doesn't make sense that you must go away to learn about filming." She couldn't bear to look at Tomoyo, so she focused on the dark blue carpet of the lounge. "You've filmed so much that you're already an expert."
"Life is all about learning new things, Sakura-chan. We may practise and practise, but that doesn't mean that we are experts. Often it means that we fall into bad habits that increase our chances of making mistakes. By getting a fresh perspective and learning things anew, we can improve ourselves." Tomoyo's voice lowered slightly. "Don't you want me to improve myself?"
Sakura's head jerked up as if she'd been slapped. "Of course I do! I'm pleased you got that scholarship."
"Then you must be happy for me." Tomoyo's voice was as soft and sweet as always, but the implicit order was too much for Sakura to bear.
"I-I am." Her lips tripped over the lie. "It's just that..." Her eyes burned, blurring with tears. "I-I...don't want you to leave."
Blindly she reached out, and the next moment she was sobbing in Tomoyo's arms.
"Sakura-chan," Tomoyo murmured. Her hands stroked Sakura's back in soothing circles.
Sakura could hardly breathe. Her grief choked her, driving the air from her lungs and shaking her body with its ferocity. Where had this intensity of feeling come from? It was alien to her, terrible and frightening. She clung to Tomoyo, her fingers tangling in long silky black hair.
"You mustn't be upset like this." Tomoyo's breath was warm against Sakura's neck. "How can I not return to someone as cute and adorable as you, Sakura-chan? It would be madness. So you see, I can't leave you for long. I have to come back soon so I can film you again."
Sakura trembled, torn between a laugh and sob. How typically Tomoyo. Devoted as always...but not enough to want to stay. She lifted her tear-wet face, uncaring of her appearance.
"B-but why is it so important for you to film me? I don't understand. Why can't you stay in Tomoeda and be *with* me?"
Pain clouded Tomoyo's eyes. "Sakura-chan--"
"First Syaoran-kun, then Yue-san..." Sakura's fingers tightened around Tomoyo's shoulders. "Must I lose you as well?"
Tomoyo lowered her gaze. "You could never lose me, Sakura-chan."
"But I'm losing you already...to Hollywood and big budget blockbuster movies. You'll get caught up in the excitement and forget all about me."
Tomoyo shook her head, a sad smile curving her lips. "You aren't losing me at all. I go to Hollywood so I can remember you better."
Sakura blinked away her tears. "Tomoyo-chan, you're talking in riddles."
"Let me try to explain. Do you know why I film you?"
Sakura shook her head. She'd always wondered, but she'd never had the courage to ask.
"It's because I don't want to ever forget you. I see you almost every day at school, but my memory is fallible. That's why I film you on tape. I can rewatch you later as many times as I like. That way I will never ever forget the little details that make you so special to me."
"Really?" Sakura blushed bright red with embarrassment, but she couldn't deny her pleasure at the words.
"Yes, really. I'm even bringing my library of videotapes with me so I can refresh my memory. I checked, and I should be able to watch them in America. They use NTSC, the same colour system as we do."
"But you don't need videos or a camera. You don't have to film me all the time!" Sakura had a sudden urge to shake Tomoyo until she saw sense. "I'm here now, right in front of you! You can see me with your eyes, hear me with your ears, feel me with your fingers." She seized Tomoyo's hand and placed it against her cheek.
Tomoyo's lips parted, a look of wonder on her face. Her fingers shifted slightly against Sakura's skin, tentative and hesitant, as if she feared that Sakura might break. "Sakura-chan," she whispered.
"What?"
There was a strange light in Tomoyo's eyes as she cupped Sakura's jaw, her fingers tracing a path behind one ear. "I've been patient for so long."
"T-Tomoyo-chan?"
Tomoyo drew close until they were nose-to-nose. "Forgive me, Sakura-chan. I can't wait any longer." Then she leaned forward and kissed Sakura full on the mouth.
Sakura froze, too stunned to move. This was completely beyond her experience. Soft lips caressed hers, making them tingle and become alive. A delicate tongue slid against hers, teasing and tasting with an intimacy that made her tremble like a leaf. She knew she should push Tomoyo away, demand an explanation...but she was helpless to resist.
It became her entire world, the heat and moisture and the clinging glide of Tomoyo's mouth against hers. Sakura closed her eyes, willingly losing herself in the kiss again. She could smell the fragrance of the shampoo Tomoyo used, taste the salty sweet flavour of her mouth. It made her dizzy, disoriented. She leaned forward, supporting herself against Tomoyo's shoulder.
Tomoyo drew her closer. Her hand stroked Sakura's throat, lightly traced the fluttering pulse. Then her hand slid lower, seeking out the swell of breast though the layers of clothing, teasing the nipple with gentle fingers.
Sakura turned away to gasp for breath. Her nipple ached, a painfully sensitised peak that strained against the confines of her clothing. Heat sizzled through every nerve-ending: in her flushed cheeks, her throbbing lips, the wetness of Tomoyo's lips gliding along the side of her neck. She moaned softly, and Tomoyo smothered the sound with her lips. Heat kindled within the pit of her abdomen, a nameless ache that cried out for release.
Dimly she wondered where this inexplicable hunger had come from. There had been no warning, no sign. It erupted fully formed from the depths of her being, ignited by Tomoyo's touch. This made no sense. Tomoyo was her friend. Syaoran and Yue had never elicited the same degree of feeling, yet at the time she'd thought she was in love.
In love...with Tomoyo?
No. She didn't want to be hurt again. It was too much, too soon. She felt suffocated by softness, by the warmth of Tomoyo's embrace. It was everywhere, and she couldn't take it any longer.
She pushed wildly at Tomoyo's shoulders and jumped to her feet. Tomoyo released her instantly, her outstretched arms still open wide.
"Sakura-chan?"
Sakura took a step back, arms crossed over her chest. "I...I can't!"
Tomoyo dropped her arms, and held her hands in her lap. The empty bleakness of her gaze tore Sakura in two.
"Daidouji-san?" The female bodyguard appeared from nowhere, studying both girls from behind dark glasses. "Is there something wrong?"
"I...I'm fine." Aside from the betraying tremor, Tomoyo sounded incredibly normal. "Sakura-chan, are you--"
"I'm fine, too." Sakura hugged herself tightly, wishing she could curl up and die.
The second bodyguard entered the lounge. "The jet is ready for boarding, Daidouji-san. They've given us fifteen minutes."
"Thank you." Tomoyo stood up and smoothed her dress with trembling hands. "We mustn't keep them waiting."
They walked to the gate, neither of them saying a word to break the strained silence. Sakura bit her lip and kept her head low. Her breast still ached beneath her blouse, her lips swollen and moist with Tomoyo's kisses. Her body felt alien to her, as if some malevolent spirit had taken possession of her senses. She had a mental image of herself responding shamelessly to Tomoyo's touch, and it filled her with horror.
Her thoughts were in chaos. She wanted to scream at Tomoyo for abandoning her for Hollywood. She wanted to run away and hide so she'd never have to face Tomoyo again. She wanted to have a cold shower to erase the ache that permeated every fibre of her being.
At the gate, Tomoyo said nothing. She simply looked at Sakura for a long moment. There was no recrimination or shame, only a terrible sadness.
Sakura couldn't bear to see Tomoyo like this. She wanted to fall to her knees and plead Tomoyo's forgiveness.
"Tomoyo-chan, please...please write to me." It was a simple request, yet she could feel her face redden.
Tomoyo blinked in surprise. "Are you sure?"
Sakura nodded vigorously. "I've never been to America. I'd like to read about how you like it, and the things that you learn there. But I only want you to write to me if you have the time. I know you will very busy with classes and learning English and--"
Tomoyo suddenly smiled, a smile that almost reached her eyes. "I would be more than happy to write to you, on one condition: you must also write to me."
"Yes, Tomoyo-chan!" Relief washed over her. They were still friends in spite of what had happened. Tomoyo had accepted her olive branch. "I'll do my best to make my letters as exciting as possible!"
"Now it's my turn to ask a favour of you." Tomoyo reached into the pocket of her jacket, and pulled out a small box. "I have something very precious that I was thinking of taking to America, but I'm afraid to lose it. Could you please take care of it for me until I return?"
"I'd be happy to take care of it. What is it?"
Tomoyo held the box out to her. It was covered with velvet, and the size of her palm. It was the right size to hold jewellery, such as a ring or a pair of earrings.
"It isn't of great value, but it means so much to me."
"Don't worry. I'll care for it as if it were my very own." And she meant every word.
"It's time to go, Daidouji-san."
"Goodbye, Sakura-chan. Take care of yourself."
"I will, Tomoyo-chan. You take care of yourself too."
She waited until they'd disappeared before finding the nearest bathroom to splash cold water over her face and neck. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't rid herself of the memory of Tomoyo's sweet suffocating softness.
*****
*****
The bombshell came from the last place Sakura had expected, and from the gentlest person she had ever known.
"I've won a scholarship to study film-making in Hollywood for six months!"
Tomoyo's eyes sparkled with excitement, and she had clutched Sakura's arm for an instant. Then she'd stepped away in embarrassment, and held her hands to her chest instead.
"That's...that's wonderful, Tomoyo-chan! Congratulations! I'm so pleased for you. You always made such good movies even in elementary school."
Tomoyo smiled and blushed. "Thank you, Sakura-chan. But I was filming such a cute subject to start with. How could I make a bad movie featuring you?"
Sakura remembered smiling back and saying something self-deprecating. She was a high school student now. She now knew how to deflect Tomoyo's praise.
But inside, she was devastated. For all her magical powers and growing maturity, she wasn't sure of her ability to deal with losing the people she loved. As a child she remembered crying in Touya's arms when their father left to go to a conference or an archaeological site.
But she wasn't a child anymore. She was older and wiser now.
After all, she had said goodbye to Syaoran-kun about five years ago without breaking down. A relative in the Li clan had taken ill, and he'd been called back home. He had promised to return, and she had believed him. But maybe that time didn't count. She didn't know it would be the last time she would ever see him. She hadn't known that increasing his magical powers would always be his top priority. She had been so sure he would return.
Life went on. As long as she didn't think about it, it didn't hurt too much.
Releasing Yue a couple of years later of her own free will had hurt much, much more. Self-deception was impossible. He belonged to Touya now, and separating them was an injustice she couldn't live with. Clow Reed may have given Yue life, but she was the one who gave him his freedom.
Tomoyo once told her that seeing the happiness of the one she loved was enough to make her happy. Having seen Yue's face as she had set him free, Sakura had learned the bittersweet truth of those words for the first time.
Sakura found solace in the knowledge that pain made one stronger. She'd already lost people she loved before. It wasn't the first time, after all.
And she knew she wasn't the only one upset by Tomoyo's news. Sonomi had railed and wept, but her daughter had held firm. For all her gentleness, Tomoyo had an iron will that belied her young age. The only concessions she made were to travel on her mother's private jet, and be accompanied by two of her mother's bodyguards. These tall mysterious women, clad in black, now flanked Sakura and Tomoyo as they walked through the departure terminal of the airport.
"Six months is a long time, Tomoyo-chan. Won't you get homesick?"
Tomoyo smiled, the same sunny smile Sakura knew from childhood. "It isn't that long. I'm going to call my mother each evening to let her know how I am, and I'll send her a videotape a week by courier so she can see for herself."
With Tomoyo away, there wouldn't be anyone inserting a video camera in her face. Sakura had always found her friend's behaviour embarrassing, but the prospect of a camera-free future suddenly seemed too depressing for words.
One of the bodyguards went to the departure gate to enquire about the boarding time. The other led them to an exclusive departure lounge reserved for the wealthy. There were computer terminals in alcoves, with magazine racks and bookshelves in another corner. A small bar served drinks and snacks. The external glass wall provided a panoramic view of the main runway. Normally a visitor like Sakura would not be permitted past Customs, but such regulations were quickly waived for a close friend of the Daidouji clan.
Tomoyo sat down in one of the lounge chairs, and Sakura sat beside her.
"Would you like something to eat or drink, Daidouji-san?" the bodyguard asked.
"No, thank you. How about you, Sakura-chan?"
"No, thanks." Food was the last thing on her mind. She watched a passenger jet as it taxied to the start of the runway. In less than an hour, Tomoyo would be sitting in her own jet bound for Los Angeles.
"I will be here if you need my services, Daidouji-san."
"Of course. Thank you."
The engines let out a mighty roar and the plane began to race towards the sea. It picked up speed, yet it didn't seem so fast from where they were sitting. Then almost like magic, it tilted up and soared away.
"It's amazing how something so heavy can fly," Sakura said. Even in her sadness, she was still awed by the power of the jet.
"Yes, it is. But it's nowhere near as cute and graceful as you when you take to the air, Sakura-chan."
"Thank you, Tomoyo-chan." She did her best to smile back. "Where is your bodyguard? Isn't she going to sit with us?"
"No, she's on duty at the moment."
Sakura looked around, but she couldn't see the elegant woman anywhere. "Where is she? Isn't she supposed to be guarding you?"
"She doesn't have to be by my side to do her job. A good bodyguard knows when to be visible and when to be inconspicuous."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." Tomoyo smiled warmly. "It is very sweet of you to be worried about my safety. But then that is the lovely thing about you: you're always so caring about other people."
Sakura couldn't take it any longer. "Tomoyo-chan!"
"What is it?"
"Forgive me, Tomoyo-chan." Sakura bit her lower lip in frustration. Perhaps Tomoyo wanted to squeeze in as many compliments as she could before she left for good, but Sakura desperately wanted to change the topic. "But I'd much rather talk about you than me. Is that all right?"
Tomoyo nodded, her features becoming serious. "Yes, of course. What is it?"
"I...I don't really understand why you have to travel overseas to study film-making. Couldn't you learn about it here in Japan? There must be many film studios in Tokyo."
"You're right, but Hollywood is famous for its big budget studios. I'll be able to learn so much about digital technology in generating special effects and animation, cinematography and editing, costumes and fashion...this will be my chance to learn from the best in the world. Then I'll be able to make more professional movies of you and your adventures!"
Sakura blushed. Even after all these years, she had never become accustomed to Tomoyo's blatant fan-worship. "Umm...I don't think there's much worth filming now. Tomoeda has been safe for years."
"Even if Tomoeda is safe, there is still much to film about you." Tomoyo's dark blue eyes shone with evangelical zeal. "You are growing up and I must improve my skills if I am to do you justice in my movies. Hollywood will be the perfect place for me to learn how to do this."
It was hopeless. Sakura knew there was nothing she could say. When Tomoyo made up her mind, nothing would alter her course.
"The time will pass quicker than you realise, Sakura-chan. Before you know it, I'll be back home. I'll write to you, and send you tapes as well. Would you like that?"
Sakura bit back the automatic 'Hai,' frustration overriding the courtesy drilled into her from childhood. "But it doesn't make sense that you must go away to learn about filming." She couldn't bear to look at Tomoyo, so she focused on the dark blue carpet of the lounge. "You've filmed so much that you're already an expert."
"Life is all about learning new things, Sakura-chan. We may practise and practise, but that doesn't mean that we are experts. Often it means that we fall into bad habits that increase our chances of making mistakes. By getting a fresh perspective and learning things anew, we can improve ourselves." Tomoyo's voice lowered slightly. "Don't you want me to improve myself?"
Sakura's head jerked up as if she'd been slapped. "Of course I do! I'm pleased you got that scholarship."
"Then you must be happy for me." Tomoyo's voice was as soft and sweet as always, but the implicit order was too much for Sakura to bear.
"I-I am." Her lips tripped over the lie. "It's just that..." Her eyes burned, blurring with tears. "I-I...don't want you to leave."
Blindly she reached out, and the next moment she was sobbing in Tomoyo's arms.
"Sakura-chan," Tomoyo murmured. Her hands stroked Sakura's back in soothing circles.
Sakura could hardly breathe. Her grief choked her, driving the air from her lungs and shaking her body with its ferocity. Where had this intensity of feeling come from? It was alien to her, terrible and frightening. She clung to Tomoyo, her fingers tangling in long silky black hair.
"You mustn't be upset like this." Tomoyo's breath was warm against Sakura's neck. "How can I not return to someone as cute and adorable as you, Sakura-chan? It would be madness. So you see, I can't leave you for long. I have to come back soon so I can film you again."
Sakura trembled, torn between a laugh and sob. How typically Tomoyo. Devoted as always...but not enough to want to stay. She lifted her tear-wet face, uncaring of her appearance.
"B-but why is it so important for you to film me? I don't understand. Why can't you stay in Tomoeda and be *with* me?"
Pain clouded Tomoyo's eyes. "Sakura-chan--"
"First Syaoran-kun, then Yue-san..." Sakura's fingers tightened around Tomoyo's shoulders. "Must I lose you as well?"
Tomoyo lowered her gaze. "You could never lose me, Sakura-chan."
"But I'm losing you already...to Hollywood and big budget blockbuster movies. You'll get caught up in the excitement and forget all about me."
Tomoyo shook her head, a sad smile curving her lips. "You aren't losing me at all. I go to Hollywood so I can remember you better."
Sakura blinked away her tears. "Tomoyo-chan, you're talking in riddles."
"Let me try to explain. Do you know why I film you?"
Sakura shook her head. She'd always wondered, but she'd never had the courage to ask.
"It's because I don't want to ever forget you. I see you almost every day at school, but my memory is fallible. That's why I film you on tape. I can rewatch you later as many times as I like. That way I will never ever forget the little details that make you so special to me."
"Really?" Sakura blushed bright red with embarrassment, but she couldn't deny her pleasure at the words.
"Yes, really. I'm even bringing my library of videotapes with me so I can refresh my memory. I checked, and I should be able to watch them in America. They use NTSC, the same colour system as we do."
"But you don't need videos or a camera. You don't have to film me all the time!" Sakura had a sudden urge to shake Tomoyo until she saw sense. "I'm here now, right in front of you! You can see me with your eyes, hear me with your ears, feel me with your fingers." She seized Tomoyo's hand and placed it against her cheek.
Tomoyo's lips parted, a look of wonder on her face. Her fingers shifted slightly against Sakura's skin, tentative and hesitant, as if she feared that Sakura might break. "Sakura-chan," she whispered.
"What?"
There was a strange light in Tomoyo's eyes as she cupped Sakura's jaw, her fingers tracing a path behind one ear. "I've been patient for so long."
"T-Tomoyo-chan?"
Tomoyo drew close until they were nose-to-nose. "Forgive me, Sakura-chan. I can't wait any longer." Then she leaned forward and kissed Sakura full on the mouth.
Sakura froze, too stunned to move. This was completely beyond her experience. Soft lips caressed hers, making them tingle and become alive. A delicate tongue slid against hers, teasing and tasting with an intimacy that made her tremble like a leaf. She knew she should push Tomoyo away, demand an explanation...but she was helpless to resist.
It became her entire world, the heat and moisture and the clinging glide of Tomoyo's mouth against hers. Sakura closed her eyes, willingly losing herself in the kiss again. She could smell the fragrance of the shampoo Tomoyo used, taste the salty sweet flavour of her mouth. It made her dizzy, disoriented. She leaned forward, supporting herself against Tomoyo's shoulder.
Tomoyo drew her closer. Her hand stroked Sakura's throat, lightly traced the fluttering pulse. Then her hand slid lower, seeking out the swell of breast though the layers of clothing, teasing the nipple with gentle fingers.
Sakura turned away to gasp for breath. Her nipple ached, a painfully sensitised peak that strained against the confines of her clothing. Heat sizzled through every nerve-ending: in her flushed cheeks, her throbbing lips, the wetness of Tomoyo's lips gliding along the side of her neck. She moaned softly, and Tomoyo smothered the sound with her lips. Heat kindled within the pit of her abdomen, a nameless ache that cried out for release.
Dimly she wondered where this inexplicable hunger had come from. There had been no warning, no sign. It erupted fully formed from the depths of her being, ignited by Tomoyo's touch. This made no sense. Tomoyo was her friend. Syaoran and Yue had never elicited the same degree of feeling, yet at the time she'd thought she was in love.
In love...with Tomoyo?
No. She didn't want to be hurt again. It was too much, too soon. She felt suffocated by softness, by the warmth of Tomoyo's embrace. It was everywhere, and she couldn't take it any longer.
She pushed wildly at Tomoyo's shoulders and jumped to her feet. Tomoyo released her instantly, her outstretched arms still open wide.
"Sakura-chan?"
Sakura took a step back, arms crossed over her chest. "I...I can't!"
Tomoyo dropped her arms, and held her hands in her lap. The empty bleakness of her gaze tore Sakura in two.
"Daidouji-san?" The female bodyguard appeared from nowhere, studying both girls from behind dark glasses. "Is there something wrong?"
"I...I'm fine." Aside from the betraying tremor, Tomoyo sounded incredibly normal. "Sakura-chan, are you--"
"I'm fine, too." Sakura hugged herself tightly, wishing she could curl up and die.
The second bodyguard entered the lounge. "The jet is ready for boarding, Daidouji-san. They've given us fifteen minutes."
"Thank you." Tomoyo stood up and smoothed her dress with trembling hands. "We mustn't keep them waiting."
They walked to the gate, neither of them saying a word to break the strained silence. Sakura bit her lip and kept her head low. Her breast still ached beneath her blouse, her lips swollen and moist with Tomoyo's kisses. Her body felt alien to her, as if some malevolent spirit had taken possession of her senses. She had a mental image of herself responding shamelessly to Tomoyo's touch, and it filled her with horror.
Her thoughts were in chaos. She wanted to scream at Tomoyo for abandoning her for Hollywood. She wanted to run away and hide so she'd never have to face Tomoyo again. She wanted to have a cold shower to erase the ache that permeated every fibre of her being.
At the gate, Tomoyo said nothing. She simply looked at Sakura for a long moment. There was no recrimination or shame, only a terrible sadness.
Sakura couldn't bear to see Tomoyo like this. She wanted to fall to her knees and plead Tomoyo's forgiveness.
"Tomoyo-chan, please...please write to me." It was a simple request, yet she could feel her face redden.
Tomoyo blinked in surprise. "Are you sure?"
Sakura nodded vigorously. "I've never been to America. I'd like to read about how you like it, and the things that you learn there. But I only want you to write to me if you have the time. I know you will very busy with classes and learning English and--"
Tomoyo suddenly smiled, a smile that almost reached her eyes. "I would be more than happy to write to you, on one condition: you must also write to me."
"Yes, Tomoyo-chan!" Relief washed over her. They were still friends in spite of what had happened. Tomoyo had accepted her olive branch. "I'll do my best to make my letters as exciting as possible!"
"Now it's my turn to ask a favour of you." Tomoyo reached into the pocket of her jacket, and pulled out a small box. "I have something very precious that I was thinking of taking to America, but I'm afraid to lose it. Could you please take care of it for me until I return?"
"I'd be happy to take care of it. What is it?"
Tomoyo held the box out to her. It was covered with velvet, and the size of her palm. It was the right size to hold jewellery, such as a ring or a pair of earrings.
"It isn't of great value, but it means so much to me."
"Don't worry. I'll care for it as if it were my very own." And she meant every word.
"It's time to go, Daidouji-san."
"Goodbye, Sakura-chan. Take care of yourself."
"I will, Tomoyo-chan. You take care of yourself too."
She waited until they'd disappeared before finding the nearest bathroom to splash cold water over her face and neck. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't rid herself of the memory of Tomoyo's sweet suffocating softness.
*****