I know that I've been 'dead' for a while, but stuff in my school is out of control. Drama, Homework, and Boys. But I promise I'll try to write more often. :]
This is just something I made up.
I tightened the drawstring of my red basketball shorts, and walked to my expectant company. I caught a flash of blonde before I staggered backwards from the excitement she had kept hidden for more than a week. My arms flew up responsively around her and soon we were giggling, and tearing remembering the hours of our friendships. Reunions are a beautiful thing I thought to myself before pulling her out of the seventy degree weather and into my new house.
It felt good to have someone I could trust in what seemed to be my hell on Earth. It was no fun growing up in a house where your mum hung on every word your useless stepfather said. But hey, I wasn't the old lonely ones. I loved my mum, too bad she couldn't see it anymore. My eyes wandered to my upper thigh where the cuts I produced out of anger, depression, and sadness lay. Sometimes I wanted to rip my shorts off and show her how much pain she had caused me, physical and mental. Nothing that she could do tonight would ruin this moment for me.
It was these kinds of moments I wanted to keep forever. The ones where my friends stood by me, and I felt fearless, flawless, and like a person. He had made me feel like that too…My mind wandered to its forbidden realm and my heart began ripping again, not that it had ever been fixed. How could I have been so stupid? To believe that he actually loved me, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me. Then anger caused me to question him. How could he do this to me? How could he hurt me so coldly?
"So," Michaela began, pushing her blonde hair behind her ear. "Where are the others? You did invite them, right?" I nodded my response, and picked up the remote next to me.
"What do you want to watch?" I asked, switching the channel to MTV which I often used as my base channel. From here I usually searched until I found my desired programming.
"Let's just watch whatever you've got recorded." Michaela replied, keeping her gaze fixed on me.
"Juno it is then." All I Want is You by Barry Posner and I couldn't help but think how nice the lyrics were. I closed my eyes for a bit, and Michaela who had known me for nine years knew better than to bother me. My eyes flew open about a minute later, but the song ending had nothing to do with it. It was the eager tapping at my living room's bay window that had caused me to leave my dream world and back into reality. I looked at the eager face of my five foot one, dark haired friend. However, her size was not to be mistaken for a weakness. In fact, she was probably tougher than me sometimes, and I never cried in public.
"Hola chica," Kailyn's clear, but sweet voice addressed me.
"Hey," I mumbled. Most people said I mumbled often, and that I could never speak clearly. She, on the other hand, knew that this was how I spoke when I was hiding pain.
"Oh, I'm going to kill whatever boy hurt you." Her eyes held a protective look of fury.
"That's exactly what I was thinking, K." Michaela piped up from behind me, and I rolled my darkly lined eyes.
"Not now guys. You know how much he meant to me. His love was like my addiction." Kailyn stared back unconvinced and Michaela hesitated before continuing.
"Why don't we just watch Juno until Gabby comes? Then we can discuss the method we'll use to torture him." Kailyn looked unsatisfied, but sat reluctantly next to me. Just before I had time to come up with a protective argument for my ex, Gabby rang my doorbell. The curly haired, freckled artist pushed open my unlocked door and greeted me with a smile.
"Hey Amy," she said sweetly and proceeded to great my other friends. "Now that we're all here, what are we going to talk about?" Gabby asked sitting down on the arm of my couch.
"Amy's love life," Kailyn responded with a smirk. I did my best to shoot daggers at her and slouched farther into the couch.
I rolled my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek to reduce the chance of tears. "He hurt me so much," I began. "I believed everything he said to me, I thought I was his only, that we would be together forever."I swallowed back the growing lump in my throat. "It was a lie," I whispered before I let my heated face fill with tears. They didn't seem to end and soon my face was a mess. My mascara and eyeliner had run, my cheeks blotchy from crying and my blush and my eyes swollen and red.
The three of them exchanged a look and Michaela walked to my kitchen. "It will get better eventually," Gabby murmured and held me close to her.
"It won't, it won't," I repeated over and over. I lifted my basketball shorts just enough to expose the cuts on my upper thigh. "Look, you think that's better? Because I certainly don't think it is!" I snapped and buried my head further into my hands. Michaela returned with a cold, moist towel in her hand and began to wipe my face with it.
"My 'sister' doesn't deserve to cry like this, to feel pain like this." She cooed gently removing all of my smeared make up. I shook my head at her and walked to the back of my kitchen to the sliding doors that led out to my back porch. I pushed it open with most of my strength, and walked out to feel the warm summer breeze on my shoulders. I closed my eyes and began singing Sea of Love by Cat Power as the rain began to fall. I felt the thunder rumble deep through my body, and longed to be struck by lightning. I didn't want to die, I just wanted to feel that surge of power, that strength, the electricity.
"You sing nicely," Gabby complimented and I turned to see them standing silently behind me. I smiled, "So do you. You just don't let us hear very often."
"So I know this is not the right time to ask seeing as some of us are depressed," Kailyn shot me a look that said 'you're not getting away with this'. "But when are we going to get this party started?" I laughed and walked back into the house with my drenched friends.
"I want a towel," Michaela whined as soon as we stepped through the threshold. I ran upstairs and got four towels. I threw one at her head, "Here, take." I smirked as the towel hit her in the face and fell on the floor. She picked it up, "That was rude."
"Let's watch another movie. Can we order one?" Gabby said not waiting for my response and changing the channel to the on demand menu. I nodded, "Let's watch PERCY JACKSON," Gabby bursted out laughing at the sudden redness in my tan face.
"Let's not," I said getting ready to tackle her for the remote.
"Too late."
"Gabby, NO." I jumped on her reaching for the remote. "No, no, no , no." The select button was pressed and the brief message stating the beginning of my movie flashed.
"Ha-ha."
"I will get you in your sleep," I said seriously.
"Enough guys. I actually want to hear the movie this time. Not Kailyn's comments, Amy's swooning or Gabby's munching," said Michaela as she came back from the kitchen with four spoons and the ten inch ice cream cake.
"You have high hopes," Kailyn said flicking her in the temple. Michaela fake-glared her and returned her attention to the screen.
"I guess that's my cue to order the pizza," I said walking over to the computer and turning it on. "Any special requests ladies?"
"Pepperoni," Kailyn piped up.
"Ham," Gabby said indifferently.
"Pineapple." Michaela's focus still on Logan Lerman in the Metropolitan Museum of Art.
"And I want mushrooms, so two medium pizzas with half customizable toppings." I received no feedback and I was not surprised. "I guess that's a yes then," I said quietly to myself. I placed the orders and sat in the middle of the floor where my friends had already finished half of the Cool Ranch Doritos.
"You never leave my any, " I grumbled. By the time Percy had begun his quest, we had picked various comments at the movie, and the pizza just arrived. I took a bite and found myself in pizza heaven. Domino's may have not been the best quality pizza, but hey it came with completely customizable toppings.
We continued eating, laughing and watching T.V. until nine o' clock. This was around the time we usually went into the host's room to reminisce and play a game of good old fashioned pretend. I walked to my window and lowered the venetian curtain. It was finally dark outside, and considering the summer swelter, it was a reasonable time for the sun to finally say goodnight. I saw the crescent moon in the dark blue sky, and two to three stars. With any luck there would be more stars later. I rolled my eyes at the thought, I lived in New York City, I would never see any stars.
"Turn on the air conditioning. It's burning hot," said Kailyn as she walked over to get her pajamas. Suddenly a high pitched wail filled my ears with sound.
"Do you guys hear that awful noise?"
They all regarded me as if I was crazy. "What noise?" Gabby asked, concern in her voice.
"That siren, that horrible high pitched siren." Michaela crawled over my bed to come stand by me.
"I don't here anything Amy."
"Oh," I replied not wanting to make a big deal out of it. "Let's just change into more comfortable clothing. The night grew older and older until we all fell asleep. My mind would not let me sleep in peace however. The only thing that it kept doing was playing the sound of the siren and creating the face of the most beautiful boy in the world.