Yo shiz! Deathlin here. No, over here, you idiot! This way! That's right. Ok, anyuhm! This is a quick, quick, *dramatic beat* ...fanFIC! (Durhur! Me make rhyme! :B) about Ein from Cowboy Bebop. And he ish sooch a kwoot widdle pupper! ^0^ By the bye, I only have up to volume 4 of the Bebop albums so if there actually happens to be an episode like this (god forbid, think of the lawsuits! XD) then I didn't know about it. And if there is one like this I'll be pretty pissed. Su...nuff of my rambling. Enjoy le fic!
Dog Daze
~*~
The Bebop was asleep as she sailed through space. Spike's dishes sat quietly on the cluttered table, Jet's beloved Bonsai plants were deserted, Faye had left the shower, even Edward Wong Hau Pepelu Trivusky the Fourth had abandoned her net diving. In the corner of the Bebop a small mound of fur twitched ominously. On his favorite chair, the infamous Bebop mascot corgi was having a dream.
Ein's hind legs waved aimlessly in the air as he growled at imaginary foes. His front paws scrambled on the rough material of the couch and brought his sleeping form closer and closer to the edge. He growled at the villains in his head as he unknowingly flipped onto the floor. The impact woke the small dog immediately. He yelped indignantly and shook his head, large ears flailing. With a yawn and a stretch he looked about his surroundings.
It was still the middle of the night. There were his humans; they were asleep. Ein quietly padded up to Spike and stuffed his cold wet nose into the man's hand. Spike--still asleep--reached for his gun in reflex. The dog left the green haired man and waddled over to Jet. The man's metal arm was twitching. It always did that when the old cop slept. Ein thought to himself how boring the bearded pilot was when he wasn't scratching the dog's ears. He glanced over to the sleeping Faye, then scrambled onto her bed and flopped himself over by her head. The scary woman growled in her sleep.
The dog growled back.
Faye snarled.
He snarled back, his stump tail wagging furiously.
Faye subconsciously bolted up to a sitting position and roared.
Ein fell to the floor again with a squeak. Second time that night too! Well he could take a hint. The dog walked away from the people, padding on snowy paws to the gate that separated him from the rest of the ship. He growled at that gate. The gate did not respond, so Ein backed up and ran at it snarling. He hit the gate with a small cry as his momentum carried him up to the top.
The corgi perched, teetering trying to steer himself to the other side. He waved his stumpy paws about and immediately lost balance, landing on the forbidden side with a thump. The dog shook himself vigorously, lips flapping with his head. He was getting tired of this!
With an angry snort, Ein started off in a random direction. Hark! A light in yonder door! It was Jet's greenhouse. Here the man kept his bonsai. The small trees were his pride and joy. Ein sniffed the plants, watered them, and walked out. Why was it that human spent so much time in there? Pshhff. Humans.
Ein's large brown ears twitched as he scented something. The data dog wound in circles around the floor until he came to his prey. It was a remote control.
Spike had been watching TV while he ate his chicken; the smell still clung to the buttons. Ein, being the smart pooch he was looked from the remote control to the Television, and back again. Cautiously the corgi put a paw on the remote, as he'd scene his human do. The screen lit up with flashing lights! Ein growled as a pair of humans in cowboy hats danced across the TV.
"Shucks Howdy!" The blonde girl trilled. "Welcome to Big Shot!" The mascot of the Bebop had heard this many times before. This was the most widely viewed Bounty Hunter program in the whole star system.
"Welcome to Big Shot!" Echoed the man. The two humans on the screen struck a Charlie's Angel pose as tacky western music blared. Luckily the music wasn't quite so loud as to wake up Ein's humans. "Time for today's Gghhhhhot news!" Ein blinked his beady black eyes, cocking his head to one side. The man continued in his outrageous Spanish accent:
"Lissssen up, Cowboys!" He addressed to all Bounty Hunters who happened to be listening--and Ein of course. "We've just received a new bounty head!"
"Oh my! How exciting!" The girl squealed and clasped her hands. Ein scratched an ear boredly as a picture of a scared man flashed across the screen.
"That's right, Forty Thousand to the man--or woman who catches Janga the Thief!" The man pointed to the picture.
"Such unsightly jowls!" The woman remarked to the man in her airy voice. The data dog yawned loudly. "Tell me more! Tell me more!"
"Janga's a thief! He travels in a small blue starship, and was last seen heading towards Gama--" Ein had stepped on the control and turned the TV off after losing interest. He waddled over to the basement stairs.
Gamamine.
~*~
Suddenly the canine perked up his fluffy head at the slight noise. Metal hitting metal...Hmm. But then again sounds like those were common on the Bebop. He returned his snout to the place in Jet's musty work closet. A screwdriver, some gardening wire, stinky gloves...this place was full of treasures! He took an oily leather glove and was about to sit down and have a good chew when the noise came again. That wasn't the hatch opening was it? Glove still in mouth, Ein resigned himself to investigate. His small sharp claws tapped on the floor as he headed towards where the sound had come from.
Hey now! It was a man! Coming into the Bebop! The man was hanging from a metal rafter in the ship's ceiling. He dropped silently to the floor, unaware of the dog watching him. So Ein walked up to him, his whole body wagging. A visitor on the Bebop! What a rare pleasure! The man nearly fell over when he saw the dog. But he had come prepared...
Ein was about to yap the man a greeting when he was encompassed in a cloud of white smoke from a canister Janga tossed. The dog coughed twice and opened his mouth to bark loudly--Nothing came out. Janga was a master thief. Sound was a thief's worst enemy. Janga was always prepared to thwart sound. The man always carried the canisters of smoke. It was actually part of a ringed planet's atmosphere. It acted quickly upon any type of vocal chords. The thief snickered as the dog yapped angrily--silently.
"Get outta here, Mutt" Janga removed his helmet and whispered darkly. Ein drew his lip back in a quiet snarl and skittered into the other room. Janga cat walked into the kitchen. "Hmmnn.." The thief opened a drawer only to find plastic silverware. He drew his hand away disgusted. There was a tapping on the floor behind him.
Ein stood in the doorway, one of Faye Valentine's fancy brooches sparkling in his mouth.
"What's that ya got there fella?" The thief smiled slyly. Ein disappeared from his view. "Hey! Wait!" The man ran after the dog...
*~*~*
"Howdy y'all!" Whined a female voice.
"Saddle up for another Big Shot!" The TV was on again.
"And what a story we have today!"
"That's right! Our man Janga was arrested about three hours ago!"
"Now that's what I call a speedy job!" The scantily clad woman made a gun with her thumb and index finger and winked.
"And you'd never believe who caught him!"
"Oh! Please! Don't keep me hanging!" She was actually jumping up and down. The man chuckled and a picture of Ein flashed up on the screen behind him.
"Ein, mascot of the ship Bebop!"
"...A...dog?" Her look of surprise was so tacky it could've broken glass.
"Members of the Bebop awoke to a ghhhuuge crash! The dog had tricked the thief into tripping over some wire and falling down some stairs. Janga was then knocked unconscious by a huge refrigerator!" He flashed viewers some car salesman fingers.
"But what'll Ein do with the reward money?" She was getting excited.
"That's the sad part. The reward was for the man or woman who captured the criminal. Dogs just don't qualify."
"Tough break!"
"Te---"
The green haired man angrily shut the TV off. He closed his eyes and twitched.
"How do they always manage to rip us off?" Snarled Spike.
"Now Spike," Jet rasped levelly in his Old New York accent. "I don't see how you got ripped off at all. Ein was the one who caught him."
"Besides, forty K? Its chump change" Faye blew strands of her purple hair out of her bright green eyes.
"It could've bought me a meal. A very good, expensive one." Growled Spike.
"Edward thinks it was Ein's money." Shot a lanky teenager from across the room.
"That's right, he did nail the guy." Jet nodded diplomatically.
"Oh please" Grumbled Spike "Like that was anything but coincidence.." He sulked off to the kitchen. Ein snorted indignantly from his perch on the couch.
He was, after all, a data dog…