Thanks so much to intotheyellowwoods for being an awesome beta!

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters, storylines, etc. associated with the Harry Potter series.

Excerpt from Chamber of Secrets, Chapter 3

"Blimey, I'm tired," yawned Fred, setting down his knife and fork at last. "I think I'll go to bed and -"

"You will not," snapped Mrs. Weasley. "It's your own fault you've been up all night. You're going to de-gnome the garden for me; they're getting completely out of hand again -"

"Oh, Mum -"

"And you two," she said, glaring at Ron and Fred. "You can go up to bed, dear," she added to Harry. "You didn't ask them to fly that wretched car -"

"Sorry, but what exactly is de-gnoming?" Harry interrupted. Even though he had been in the magical world for a year, he was still new to many household activities.

"I still can't believe you live in the Muggle world!" Ron exclaimed. "Gnomes are pesky little buggers that live in our garden. Their heads look like potatoes, nothing like the garden gnomes Muggles have. We need to swing them over our heads and throw them over the hedge to clear our garden, basically. It's terribly annoying – "

"Wait, your punishment is to throw things over the hedge?" Harry could not hold back his shock. Throwing things sounds fun, not cruel, grueling, or extremely painful like all his punishments at the Dursleys were. "That sounds like a lot of fun!"

"Er, well sure it's a bit fun –"

"But it gets tiring after a while – "

"Which is why you should never do de-gnoming, Harry."

"But… but…" Harry stammered, "how is that a punishment? You get to throw things! That's the easiest punishment ever!"

Ron laughed. "Easy? We haven't had such a harsh punishment since the twins cursed Ginny's dolls to say bad words when she was six! We usually just do the dishes or clean the shed or something."

Harry gaped. "You mean you never have to cook for the entire family?"

"Of course not, that's Mum's job!"

"You never need to scrub the toilets, or mow the lawn, or clean the kitchen, or-"

"No!"

"You mean… you mean you're never locked in a cupboard for three days without food or light? Or beaten by a belt? Anything?"

"Of course not!" Ron exclaimed. "Who would give any of that as a punishment to a kid?"

"Wow," Harry breathed out, "you have the best family ever."

Three sets of eyebrows rose. Whatever Harry's response could have been, Ron, Fred, and George certainly didn't expect this. The Potters were wealthy, while their family could barely hold themselves together – how could the Weasleys possibly be "the best family ever"?

Mrs. Weasley gasped in horror. "Surely… you don't mean… you suffered those punishments before?"

"Well…" Harry really regretted asking all these questions now. He didn't want to talk about his home life, but he was the one who brought up all these specific scenarios. "My relatives punish me all the time. They need to keep coming up with ideas, don't they?"

"We already told you, Mum, that his uncle put bars on his window- "

"A cat flap on his door-"

"Locked his trunk and books in a cupboard"

"But you didn't believe us did you-"

Mrs. Weasley burst into tears. "Oh, Harry!" She wrapped her arms around Harry, enveloping him in a tight embrace.

Harry's eyes widened. He was being squeezed to the brink of choking, yet he enjoyed this sensation. This is what a hug feels like, he thought.

Mrs. Weasley released him from her iron grip. "I'm going to write to Dumbledore. Don't know what that man is thinking. Letting a child be a house-elf in a Muggle household, the Boy-Who-Lived no less! I don't care that he's the Headmaster, you're just a boy!" Mrs. Weasley muttered furiously, dashing out of the room to find Howler parchment.

Fred looked around the room. "Do you think – "

"We still need to –"

"De-gnome the garden?"

Ron shrugged, a wide grin spreading on his face. "Harry, you got us out of our worst punishment! We owe you one."

Harry shook his head. "If your mom can get me out of any punishment at the Dursleys, I'll definitely owe you guys one!"

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