Stan Smith was asleep on the couch. He was dreaming.
Let's take a peak into his dream!
He dreamt Bullock was assigning him a new partner. Oddly though, the CIA headquarters looked like an underground lair made up of giant mountains and cliffs of rocks suspended on lava.
"Well Mr. Smith, today you'll be working together with this random MI6 agent, whom I pulled out of the woodwork. I would tell you who he is but he insisted that he do the introduction" announced Bullock. Bond reached out to shake hands with Stan Smith.
"Bond. James Bond" said the man from MI6.
"Charmed. My name is Smith, Stan Smith. So, Bullock, what sort of mission is it? Getting back top secret documents? Foiling an evil plot?" asked Stan. Suddenly the pillar of rock Bullock was standing on began shaking, and it crumbled. Bullock fell and died. Bond and Stan glanced at each other, not knowing what to make of it. Suddenly, a giant monster that looked like a purple octopus arose from the lava.
"Wait, don't tell me, that's Bullock coming back from the dead to kill us for being such lousy agents" said Stan. Bond aimed his gun at Stan with a very cold dead serious expression.
"I-I-I meant to say that I was gonna be in trouble for being a lousy agent. Not you, I'm your biggest fan, I've seen all of your movies except
Never Die Tomorrow Unless it's Wednesday With Ninjas. Seriously, huge 007 fan here!" explained Stan. Bond did not find this very rational, and he still attempted to shoot Stan. But Stan ran for cover, then fired a bullet at Bond's chest. Bond seemingly fell dead from Stan's shot. Stan wiped some sweat off of his face.
"Few, that was a close one. Problem is, I feel kind of lonely when it's just me and this giant purple octopus that wants to kill me!" said Stan.
Suddenly, a bunch of smoke was everywhere, and standing in the middle of it was Roger who had somehow gained access to Stan's dream.
"Stan never fear, I'm a dreamwalker, it's something us grey aliens can do, we can enter dreams and help people. Mostly hurt them, but right now I wanna help, cuz I like you. Here octopuss, have some meatloaf and shrimp, eat your heart out!" said Roger, handing the octopuss a plate with food and a fork. The octopuss was satisfied, sprouted wings, and flew away. Roger looked at the dead body on the ground of Bond.
"You killed James Bond," said Roger, wiping a tear off his eye.
"Oh, is that who it was?" asked Stan. "I thought maybe it was Peter Franks" he added. Roger checked the ID.
"No, no, it's him Stan. You really did kill Bond. Nah, I'm kidding. I killed him with a poison dart, your bullet just missed" explained Roger.
"You're kidding. Roger I always need you in my dreams. You can take care of all my enemies!" said Stan.
LATER...
Lots of people tried to annoy Stan! And hurt him!
So Roger fought off the enemies of Stan the best way he could.
Ninjas appear!
"I love you ninjas, you're so ninja-ish!" said Roger, putting on a ninja costume. "Have cookies, and play this Nintendo!"
The ninjas ate the cookies, turned on River City Ransom, they were enthralled, delighted, and thrilled, and decided not to kill Stan.
Video game addicts appear!
"I'm a game programmer myself. I'm making a video game right now. A platform adventure game, and I need to know what you guys think the whore who saves your progress should look like. Can't have a platform adventure game without a whore who saves your progress!" said Roger, pulling out a notebook computer. The video game addicts fell victim to Roger's trap as he shut the lid and sent them into the game world.
"Haha. You're getting sent back to the Atari era, courtesy of a real live ET" said Roger.
Haylee appears.
"Haylee, leave Stan alone. As your future husband, I implore you!" said Roger. Haylee held up a white flag.
Steve appears.
"Steve, this is a dream. You can go date any girl you want!" said Roger.
A purple one eyed blob appears:
Roger says: "If I give you the right aphrodesiac, can we have sex?
The blob goes away, as you would as well.
A Bernie supporter with a flamethrower:
"That isn't what Bernie meant by feeling the burn, trust me, and Stan isn't really a conservative, he's just confused!" said Roger.
A Trump supporter appears:
Roger decided to pull out one of the bath-tubs they used to use for Cialis commercials and gets inside, with bubbling hot water and
candles everywhere around him on the edges of the bath. He attempted to sound sexy.
"Hey baby. Should I go get the anime?" asked Roger. The Trump supporter got very confused and ran for his life.
"Well the top Republican strategist Rick Wilson said you guys love anime in a very erotic way!" said Roger. Stan chuckled.
"Anyway, I need more help! James Bond came back as a zombie and wants to be my new bodyguard" said Stan. Roger was still yelling at the Trump dude.
"I don't support Trump but as an objectophile I really find myself attracted to walls! Big walls, with big beautiful doors on them!" said Roger.
Stan woke up.
"Mr. Bond, I will avenge your death!" yelled Stan.
THE END